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Is Divorce a Sin?

I was married twice before I became a Christian. When you aren't in Christ are you held accountable for the sin of divorce and no other sins? Now I am a Christian, married to the man of my dreams (chosen by God), and we have been happily married for 11 years now. We are sole mates. We think alike, talk alike, and complement each other perfectly. Am I in sin? I don't think so.
 
Sandy Zalecki said:
I was married twice before I became a Christian. When you aren't in Christ are you held accountable for the sin of divorce and no other sins? Now I am a Christian, married to the man of my dreams (chosen by God), and we have been happily married for 11 years now. We are sole mates. We think alike, talk alike, and complement each other perfectly. Am I in sin? I don't think so.
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Well, if you have repented of your previous sins when you became a Christian, then you are no longer under those sins.
 
Matthew 19:9 and Matthew 5:32 plainly states that remarriage after divorce is adultery except in the case of marital unfaithfulness.Are their exceptions that you are aware of?
 
Kathi said:
Matthew 19:9 and Matthew 5:32 plainly states that remarriage after divorce is adultery except in the case of marital unfaithfulness.Are their exceptions that you are aware of?
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So you do believe that you are held accountable for your sins before you became a Christian? I repented of my sins and they were washed away. The Lord doesn't remember them, so why does man? I KNOW the Lord brought this man into my life. Now if I were to divorce now and remarry I would be held accountable. But why would I want to do that? I am very happy with the choice the Lord gave me.

If you are married totally outside the will of God, is that a sin? The Lord is one who should choose our mates. If we go outside His will and choose someone totally wrong for us when we aren't even serving Him like I did, is that a sin? If I become a Christian while I am married and my husband completely rejects me and leaves me am I in sin when the Lord sends my true sole mate to me? How far back into the law must we go?
 
Kathi said:
Matthew 19:9 and Matthew 5:32 plainly states that remarriage after divorce is adultery except in the case of marital unfaithfulness.Are their exceptions that you are aware of?
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Once you repent of a sin, unless it is the unforgiveable sin, it is wiped away. God does not remember sins that He has forgiven.
 
Kathi said:
Matthew 19:9 and Matthew 5:32 plainly states that remarriage after divorce is adultery except in the case of marital unfaithfulness.Are their exceptions that you are aware of?
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Sandy Zalecki said:
If I become a Christian while I am married and my husband completely rejects me and leaves me am I in sin when the Lord sends my true sole mate to me? How far back into the law must we go?
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You know Sandy I believe this is where Paul's statement comes in.....
1Co 7:15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.

So how does Paul use the word bondage, what does it mean to him?
Gal 4:24 Which things are an allegory: for these are the two covenants; the one from the mount Sinai, which gendereth to bondage, which is Agar.
Gal 4:25 For this Agar is mount Sinai in Arabia, and answereth to Jerusalem which now is, and is in bondage with her children.
Gal 4:26 But Jerusalem which is above is free, which is the mother of us all.

So by looking at how Paul uses the word bondage in opposition to freedom, I interpret him as saying that when the unbeliever leaves the covenant of the marriage the believer is no longer bond to that covenant and is free to enter in to a new marriage covenant.
But each person needs to pray and seek the Lord in their situation.
 
Edward said:
i dunno Deb, you kind of lost me now, doh. What are you saying?
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The scripture would be the same for either gender.
You said the woman was the adulterer and would the husband be a victim?
I gave you a scripture as written in Hebrew Matthew that did not accuse a wronged wife of adultery so she was a victim.
Why would you think it would be any different if the shoe were on the other foot?
 
Deborah13 said:
The scripture would be the same for either gender.
You said the woman was the adulterer and would the husband be a victim?
I gave you a scripture as written in Hebrew Matthew that did not accuse a wronged wife of adultery so she was a victim.
Why would you think it would be any different if the shoe were on the other foot?
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Oh, i don't think it would be any different. I can see how the one who was cheated on being a victim because they were wronged in a big way. I'm just saying that they shouldn't act like a victim if they love them. If that's possible that is. Because love is supposed to be unconditional. It seems very far fetched because that is a huge wrong and would rip someones heart out, but it would be the biblical response.
 
There is something different about adultery ... there is a violation.. Dont know how to put it in words i just know its there.. That is not to say forgiveness isn't always best.
 
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Edward said:
Oh, i don't think it would be any different. I can see how the one who was cheated on being a victim because they were wronged in a big way. I'm just saying that they shouldn't act like a victim if they love them. If that's possible that is. Because love is supposed to be unconditional. It seems very far fetched because that is a huge wrong and would rip someones heart out, but it would be the biblical response.
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In Moses Law the adulterer was stoned to death. I think God sees it as very serious. So I think if one can forgive that they are strengthened and blessed by the Lord.
 
Kathi, I did not mean to attack you or bring on an attack. Forgive me for that. Just because we walk down the isle with someone does not mean we have God's blessing in our marriage. We must be married to the mate that God chose for us. So many people marry for other reasons and they don't trust God to chose their mate. If we marry out of the will of God we are guilty of the sin of not trusting Him. If we are in the marriage that God has chosen for us and we divorce, I completely agree with you that remarriage is adultery. We are out of the will of God. If I were a pastor I would not marry anyone that I felt was out of the will of God.

We are flawed humans. We make all kinds of mistakes. God is there to forgive us every time. I made two mistakes by getting married outside the will of God, but I was not serving Him at the time. Now I am in the will of God, married to the man God chose for me and I don't want to get a divorce or even look at another man. I am so in love with him nothing can pull us apart. He has taught me so many things that make me a better servant of God.
 
Deborah13 said:
In Moses Law the adulterer was stoned to death. I think God sees it as very serious. So I think if one can forgive that they are strengthened and blessed by the Lord.
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They'd almost have to be. Because mans nature is to punish or return evil for evil. I think even a lot of Pastors would advise divorce for adultery.
 
How to say this without receiving wrath... there is cheating and then there is CHEATING...
If any of us had a spouse that cheated from the beginning?
I know a person who's husband started cheating 3 months into the marriage... over and over the Christian upbringing of the wife keep the forgiveness going..... Perfect wife no none of us are...
When the last girlfriend was the druggy next door .. the grandson and the girl's sons were friends and talked about your grandpa kissing and sleeping with my mom... the divorce happened after 37 years....
Going and getting checked for STD's in your 60s ? The are good reasons why God put the adultery relief in marriage
 
Edward said:
They'd almost have to be. Because mans nature is to punish or return evil for evil. I think even a lot of Pastors would advise divorce for adultery.
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I don't know that the wronged spouse always has intentions to punish the other person. The image of their spouse being intimate with someone else is very vivid.
The intimacy involved in a marriage has been so violated, a third person or more has now become a part of the intimacy that should only be between the couple. Their image has actually intruded into the marriage suite.
So even if they truly forgive the spouse that doesn't mean there hasn't been permanent damage done. Trust has to be rebuilt.
From my knowledge pastors always try to keep marriages together no matter what.
 
That's a pretty sad story. I praise God that I didn't have to endure that type of thing in my marriage.
 
Edward said:
That's a pretty sad story. I praise God that I didn't have to endure that type of thing in my marriage.
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Just one sad story of many.....
A man who was very violent, a wife, children, and the church.
Pastor concedes that a temporary separation is in order. "Christian" husband agrees to counseling with Christian counselor. After some time it is decided he is cured. Church tells wife it is safe for her and the children to return home. A couple weeks later, she is dead, the children are dead, and the husband committed murder and suicide.
True story, I read about it on the SBC site in their blog a few months ago.
 
reba said:
How to say this without receiving wrath... there is cheating and then there is CHEATING...
If any of us had a spouse that cheated from the beginning?
I know a person who's husband started cheating 3 months into the marriage... over and over the Christian upbringing of the wife keep the forgiveness going..... Perfect wife no none of us are...
When the last girlfriend was the druggy next door .. the grandson and the girl's sons were friends and talked about your grandpa kissing and sleeping with my mom... the divorce happened after 37 years....
Going and getting checked for STD's in your 60s ? The are good reasons why God put the adultery relief in marriage
Click to expand...
I had a friend and her husband was cheating on her before they got married. I didn't understand the whole circumstances, but he had a mistress for something like 20 years. Eleven years into their marriage she found a bunch of pictures of the "other woman." She was devastated because she loved this guy a lot. It was a very strange relationship. He never cheated on her with any other woman, just this one. Without the Lord, we are capable of anything.
 
Sandy Zalecki said:
I had a friend and her husband was cheating on her before they got married. I didn't understand the whole circumstances, but he had a mistress for something like 20 years. Eleven years into their marriage she found a bunch of pictures of the "other woman." She was devastated because she loved this guy a lot. It was a very strange relationship. He never cheated on her with any other woman, just this one. Without the Lord, we are capable of anything.
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Hmm...This sounds to me like he was committed to the other woman she was more like his first wife but there was some reason he couldn't marry her.
You hear of cases where men have two separate wives and children. Two families.
 
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