Is Divorce a Sin?

[Kathi]

As you may know, i am striving to learn about and walk in love. To become love is the way one pastor put it. This is having the mind of Christ is my thought. They crucified Jesus, and while He was on the cross, He said father forgive them for they know not what they do.

Question: is love unconditional? Is the husband the spiritual leader of the marriage? Shouldn't he, be bigger than the world and forgive her, and try to set her back on the narrow path?

I know this is a hard pill to swallow. I'm not saying it would be easy. but, shouldn't we strive to be overcomers and forgive as we were forgiven?
Specifically;

1) He is a victim by worldly standards, and even by biblical standards, however, divorce was a concession given to the people. We are to repent, and turn back to God.
2) "Huh?" Love is (biblically) unconditional. he either loves her, or he doesn't. If he does, then is it predicated on anything at all, or does he just love her?
3) I agree, he does have the right to be offended. That would hurt. But our Christian duty is to overcome and look only to God. So we must ask ourselves...would God forgive her? and then forgive her, for with what measure we mete unto her, it shall be measured unto us again. Even if it hurts, he should forgive her.
4). Yes, divorce was a concession to a hard hearted people by God through Moses. Biblically, they should stay together and turn to God for the mending and growth.

Would it matter to God if she was a Christian? (he is a victim, agreed) If he married her without her being a Christian, then he should hang in there and be an example in effort to bring her to the Lord.
On the vows, if she broke the vows, then has she not lost her way and need spiritual guidance? We know that God would rather they stay married, so in effect, if he divorces her...this is not pleasing to God. It may not be held against him as sin, but let's face it, should we not try to do what God would want? I think we should.

I say these things as a man whose wife never cheated on him while we were together, so I never felt that sting, however, I am trying to learn to walk as God would have me to walk, with honor and I do believe that two wrongs do not make a right. I think he should try to repair the marriage and forgive her.

Yes,it would matter to God if she was a Christian and it would matter to God if a Christian marries someone who is not a Chrisitan.The Bible tells us that we should not be unevenly yoked and He tells that for a very importlant reason.If a person marries someone and they are a Christian and they know that the other one is not a Christian that is very,very risky.There is going to be consequences.I have known couples such as that.They are no longer married.You can not go into a marriage thinking you will convert a person.It won't work.Only God can change the heart you can plant the seed but ultimately it is God's job.Sometimes that spouse will truly come to God but it is not common.
If she has commited adultery the man has every right to divorce her.But if that Christian man wants to reconcile and we know that God would want that it is best that she come to God.How do you know she would not do it again and again.That happens.

 

[Deborah13]

As you may know, i am striving to learn about and walk in love. To become love is the way one pastor put it. This is having the mind of Christ is my thought. They crucified Jesus, and while He was on the cross, He said father forgive them for they know not what they do.

Question: is love unconditional? Is the husband the spiritual leader of the marriage? Shouldn't he, be bigger than the world and forgive her, and try to set her back on the narrow path?

And just how do you propose that You will set her back on the narrow path.

I know this is a hard pill to swallow. I'm not saying it would be easy. but, shouldn't we strive to be overcomers and forgive as we were forgiven?
Specifically;

1) He is a victim by worldly standards, and even by biblical standards, however, divorce was a concession given to the people. We are to repent, and turn back to God.
2) "Huh?" Love is (biblically) unconditional. he either loves her, or he doesn't. If he does, then is it predicated on anything at all, or does he just love her?
3) I agree, he does have the right to be offended. That would hurt. But our Christian duty is to overcome and look only to God. So we must ask ourselves...would God forgive her? and then forgive her, for with what measure we mete unto her, it shall be measured unto us again. Even if it hurts, he should forgive her.
4). Yes, divorce was a concession to a hard hearted people by God through Moses. Biblically, they should stay together and turn to God for the mending and growth.

As Christians I don't think we can determine some imaginary marriage and dictate to someone else what God may tell every person in every situation. God divorced the nation of Israel because of her harlotry.

4) This was specifically a hard heart to the wife of his youth. Divorcing her to marry another woman, by implication I think we can safely say to marry a younger woman. This has absolutely nothing to do with the spouse who commits adultery in your example.

 

[Edward]

Yes,it would matter to God if she was a Christian and it would matter to God if a Christian marries someone who is not a Chrisitan.The Bible tells us that we should not be unevenly yoked and He tells that for a very importlant reason.If a person marries someone and they are a Christian and they know that the other one is not a Christian that is very,very risky.There is going to be consequences.I have known couples such as that.They are no longer married.You can not go into a marriage thinking you will convert a person.It won't work.Only God can change the heart you can plant the seed but ultimately it is God's job.Sometimes that spouse will truly come to God but it is not common.
If she has commited adultery the man has every right to divorce her.But if that Christian man wants to reconcile and we know that God would want that it is best that she come to God.How do you know she would not do it again and again.That happens.

I agree with you. i think it is very important to marry another Christian and not be unevenly yoked. But if this is not the case, and they were both unbelievers and the one came to Christ and then it happened, then (I) think that he should hang in there. The man does have the right to divorce her for infidelity and that is biblical. But ultimately speaking, if he were to stay married to her and seek reconciliation, that it would be pleasing to God in the long run. Definitely something to pray about. i do think that most people get divorced prematurely in today's world.

And just how do you propose that You will set her back on the narrow path.



As Christians I don't think we can determine some imaginary marriage and dictate to someone else what God may tell every person in every situation. God divorced the nation of Israel because of her harlotry.

4) This was specifically a hard heart to the wife of his youth. Divorcing her to marry another woman, by implication I think we can safely say to marry a younger woman. This has absolutely nothing to do with the spouse who commits adultery in your example.

How to set her back on the narrow path...Oh this can't be answered in one post for there are many variables to consider. To begin by praying about it would absolutely be the first thing to do. Another thing which has not been mentioned yet but should be considered by the man is...where did (he) go wrong in the first place to let het mind or heart get into such a position that she would cheat. Chances are very good that if she goes and cheats...that he has already dropped the ball in some way.

I agree with you, this is not a situation that there is a textbook answer to. Too many variables involved. Just because God divorced Israel for her harlotry, is (I think) irrelevant to us. God can do what He wants to and has laid down the law for us to live by, and God's judgement does not wquate to man being able to judge in the same manner.

The man would have the right to divorce her and this would not make God mad. But since divorce was a concession to a hard hearted people, i think that trying to deal with the situation without divorce would be more pleasing to him than merely simply divorcing her.

 

[Deborah13]

I agree with you. i think it is very important to marry another Christian and not be unevenly yoked. But if this is not the case, and they were both unbelievers and the one came to Christ and then it happened, then (I) think that he should hang in there. The man does have the right to divorce her for infidelity and that is biblical. But ultimately speaking, if he were to stay married to her and seek reconciliation, that it would be pleasing to God in the long run. Definitely something to pray about. i do think that most people get divorced prematurely in today's world.



How to set her back on the narrow path...Oh this can't be answered in one post for there are many variables to consider. To begin by praying about it would absolutely be the first thing to do. Another thing which has not been mentioned yet but should be considered by the man is...where did (he) go wrong in the first place to let het mind or heart get into such a position that she would cheat. Chances are very good that if she goes and cheats...that he has already dropped the ball in some way.

I agree with you, this is not a situation that there is a textbook answer to. Too many variables involved. Just because God divorced Israel for her harlotry, is (I think) irrelevant to us. God can do what He wants to and has laid down the law for us to live by, and God's judgement does not wquate to man being able to judge in the same manner.

The man would have the right to divorce her and this would not make God mad. But since divorce was a concession to a hard hearted people, i think that trying to deal with the situation without divorce would be more pleasing to him than merely simply divorcing her.

Yes, God can do what He wants, that was not the point though. The point was that adultery, fornication, whoredom is just cause for divorce. God didn't just give up on the nation of Israel and divorce her for minor transgressions and He didn't do it at the first time she committed idolatry either.

I've started reading Hebrew Matthew, Matthew as it was written in ancient Hebrew originally, a translation from the ancient manuscript. I was specifically looking at Matthew 5:23 and what it says in the Hebrew. Interestingly, it makes much more sense even than YLT. But in backing up a little there was of coarse 5:31-32 about divorce. Hmm...
YLT
Mat 5:31 `And it was said, That whoever may put away his wife, let him give to her a writing of divorce;
Mat 5:32 but I--I say to you, that whoever may put away his wife, save for the matter of whoredom, doth make her to commit adultery; and whoever may marry her who hath been put away doth commit adultery.
Hebrew Matthew
31 Again Jesus said to his disciples:
You have heard what was said to those of long ago that everyone who
leaves his wife and divorces [her] is to give her a bill of divorce, that is,
libela repudio.
32 And I say to you that everyone who leaves his wife is to give her a bill
of divorce. But concerning adultery, he is the one who commits adultery
and he who takes her commits adultery.

Notice she is not accused of committing adultery, she is the innocent party.

 

[Kathi]

I agree with you. i think it is very important to marry another Christian and not be unevenly yoked. But if this is not the case, and they were both unbelievers and the one came to Christ and then it happened, then (I) think that he should hang in there. The man does have the right to divorce her for infidelity and that is biblical. But ultimately speaking, if he were to stay married to her and seek reconciliation, that it would be pleasing to God in the long run. Definitely something to pray about. i do think that most people get divorced prematurely in today's world.



How to set her back on the narrow path...Oh this can't be answered in one post for there are many variables to consider. To begin by praying about it would absolutely be the first thing to do. Another thing which has not been mentioned yet but should be considered by the man is...where did (he) go wrong in the first place to let het mind or heart get into such a position that she would cheat. Chances are very good that if she goes and cheats...that he has already dropped the ball in some way.

I agree with you, this is not a situation that there is a textbook answer to. Too many variables involved. Just because God divorced Israel for her harlotry, is (I think) irrelevant to us. God can do what He wants to and has laid down the law for us to live by, and God's judgement does not wquate to man being able to judge in the same manner.

The man would have the right to divorce her and this would not make God mad. But since divorce was a concession to a hard hearted people, i think that trying to deal with the situation without divorce would be more pleasing to him than merely simply divorcing her.

So they were both unbelievers and then one came to Christ....right?Do you think the fact that one of them came to Christ turned the other one off and then they just drifted apart? Sometimes the unbeliever can be really turned off if their spouse comes to Christ.I think the best plan for this is for the one who came to Christ just to tell their spouse and why they came to Christ and then just leave it alone.The spouse who came to Christ then would need to be salt and light to that unbelieving spouse so they can see the very positive outcome that they are now a Christian.If the believer is always talking to God and begging the unbeliever to come to Church with them it would not work.At that point it is in God's hands.But you need to constantly pray for that unbelieving spouse....make sense?

 

[Edward]

So they were both unbelievers and then one came to Christ....right?Do you think the fact that one of them came to Christ turned the other one off and then they just drifted apart? Sometimes the unbeliever can be really turned off if their spouse comes to Christ.I think the best plan for this is for the one who came to Christ just to tell their spouse and why they came to Christ and then just leave it alone.The spouse who came to Christ then would need to be salt and light to that unbelieving spouse so they can see the very positive outcome that they are now a Christian.If the believer is always talking to God and begging the unbeliever to come to Church with them it would not work.At that point it is in God's hands.But you need to constantly pray for that unbelieving spouse....make sense?

That makes perfect sense! To not even speak of God (or not daily, badgering her with it, which would turn her off to it), but to simply pray like mad for her, and draw closer to god himself and to be a shining example of a husband. The Holy Spirit will get her to come to him with questions and so forth and they could go from there. If she see his light shining from within, then she will want what he has, and also be attracted to it.

 

[Edward]

Yes, God can do what He wants, that was not the point though. The point was that adultery, fornication, whoredom is just cause for divorce. God didn't just give up on the nation of Israel and divorce her for minor transgressions and He didn't do it at the first time she committed idolatry either.

I've started reading Hebrew Matthew, Matthew as it was written in ancient Hebrew originally, a translation from the ancient manuscript. I was specifically looking at Matthew 5:23 and what it says in the Hebrew. Interestingly, it makes much more sense even than YLT. But in backing up a little there was of coarse 5:31-32 about divorce. Hmm...
YLT
Mat 5:31 `And it was said, That whoever may put away his wife, let him give to her a writing of divorce;
Mat 5:32 but I--I say to you, that whoever may put away his wife, save for the matter of whoredom, doth make her to commit adultery; and whoever may marry her who hath been put away doth commit adultery.
Hebrew Matthew
31 Again Jesus said to his disciples:
You have heard what was said to those of long ago that everyone who
leaves his wife and divorces [her] is to give her a bill of divorce, that is,
libela repudio.
32 And I say to you that everyone who leaves his wife is to give her a bill
of divorce. But concerning adultery, he is the one who commits adultery
and he who takes her commits adultery.

Notice she is not accused of committing adultery, she is the innocent party.

That's interesting Deb! If I'm reading that right, then it sort of goes along with what i was saying. Don't divorce her. She may have victimized by an evil spirit or something. She needs help if she has cheated, she is on the wrong path and essentially innocent. For our war is not against flesh and blood but against principalities and powers... the evil ones...

If a mans wife was being attacked by someone, and they love her...who would not help her and fight for her? Ok, it's the same principle here, but the attacker is an evil spirit. So instead of playing the victim, love her, forgive her, and understand the nature of the attack. At this time, she needs love and support...someone to fight for her.

Now if a man were to do this instead of going to divorce court, how honorable is that? Oh well she might do it again?...Then he must go to bat for her like he has never done before, and hitch up his britches and go for her like he loves her and has never done it before! I mean c'mon man, do you love her or not?! Buckle up and get right with God, and get her right with God, there are souls at stake here!

 

[Kathi]

That makes perfect sense! To not even speak of God (or not daily, badgering her with it, which would turn her off to it), but to simply pray like mad for her, and draw closer to god himself and to be a shining example of a husband. The Holy Spirit will get her to come to him with questions and so forth and they could go from there. If she see his light shining from within, then she will want what he has, and also be attracted to it.

Right...maybe some day she might say "I might want to go to Church with you someday to see who this Jesus Christ is that you have fallen in love with".

 

[Deborah13]

That's interesting Deb! If I'm reading that right, then it sort of goes along with what i was saying. Don't divorce her. She may have victimized by an evil spirit or something. She needs help if she has cheated, she is on the wrong path and essentially innocent. For our war is not against flesh and blood but against principalities and powers... the evil ones...

If a mans wife was being attacked by someone, and they love her...who would not help her and fight for her? Ok, it's the same principle here, but the attacker is an evil spirit. So instead of playing the victim, love her, forgive her, and understand the nature of the attack. At this time, she needs love and support...someone to fight for her.

Now if a man were to do this instead of going to divorce court, how honorable is that? Oh well she might do it again?...Then he must go to bat for her like he has never done before, and hitch up his britches and go for her like he loves her and has never done it before! I mean c'mon man, do you love her or not?! Buckle up and get right with God, and get her right with God, there are souls at stake here!

No that scripture is about a woman who is NOT guilty of adultery. The husband divorced her without cause, so he could marry someone else. She was innocent of any charge.

 

[Edward]

No that scripture is about a woman who is NOT guilty of adultery. The husband divorced her without cause, so he could marry someone else. She was innocent of any charge.

What she hadn't did it and the husband divorced her?! Well then he will be committing adultery after he divorces her and so would she if she remarries, but it would be on his head! Wow.

My wife wanted a divorce (over money no less! geez) Got materialistic and wanted to go marry a millionaire, which she almost did, lol, but I digress, she tried to have me served with divorce papers and I dodged him for quite awhile. i didn't want to get divorced. Eventually she got wise and hit me where I live, she told the process server to pretend that they wanted to meet me to fix an air conditioner...which she knew I would do. i didn't even see it coming then I had papers in front of my face. I went to them that time. Dangit.

I think I'm good to remarry the way it was done.

 

[Kathi]

What she hadn't did it and the husband divorced her?! Well then he will be committing adultery after he divorces her and so would she if she remarries, but it would be on his head! Wow.

My wife wanted a divorce (over money no less! geez) Got materialistic and wanted to go marry a millionaire, which she almost did, lol, but I digress, she tried to have me served with divorce papers and I dodged him for quite awhile. i didn't want to get divorced. Eventually she got wise and hit me where I live, she told the process server to pretend that they wanted to meet me to fix an air conditioner...which she knew I would do. i didn't even see it coming then I had papers in front of my face. I went to them that time. Dangit.

I think I'm good to remarry the way it was done.

If a person divorces someone and it is not a Biblical divorce and remarries that person is commiting adultery.I think that is what I read.

 

[Deborah13]

What she hadn't did it and the husband divorced her?! Well then he will be committing adultery after he divorces her and so would she if she remarries, but it would be on his head! Wow.

My wife wanted a divorce (over money no less! geez) Got materialistic and wanted to go marry a millionaire, which she almost did, lol, but I digress, she tried to have me served with divorce papers and I dodged him for quite awhile. i didn't want to get divorced. Eventually she got wise and hit me where I live, she told the process server to pretend that they wanted to meet me to fix an air conditioner...which she knew I would do. i didn't even see it coming then I had papers in front of my face. I went to them that time. Dangit.

I think I'm good to remarry the way it was done.

Please read the scriptures I provided. According to the Hebrew Matthew she is not ever guilty of adultery, she isn't even mentioned, only the two men. My point in those scriptures was to your first question, "If she cheats is the husband a victim?"
The husband divorces the wife just because he wanted to, hardness of heart, not fornication/adultery.

 

[Edward]

If a person divorces someone and it is not a Biblical divorce and remarries that person is commiting adultery.I think that is what I read.

That's the way i read it too. There's very narrow circumstances where people can remarry more than once and have it be honored by God.

 

[Edward]

Please read the scriptures I provided. According to the Hebrew Matthew she is not ever guilty of adultery, she isn't even mentioned, only the two men. My point in those scriptures was to your first question, "If she cheats is the husband a victim?"
The husband divorces the wife just because he wanted to, hardness of heart, not fornication/adultery.

Well, yeah i read them. I thought it was perhaps those particular circumstances with those people. Are you saying that women in general can remarry without fault whereas the men can not?

 

[Kathi]

That's the way i read it too. There's very narrow circumstances where people can remarry more than once and have it be honored by God.

Exactly.I have a Biblical divorce and I am staying single that is what God is giving me peace with.

 

[reba]

Kathi smart girl

 

[Edward]

Exactly.I have a Biblical divorce and I am staying single that is what God is giving me peace with.

God bless you in your choice. i have thought of remaining single...but i miss being married. the companionship, the helpmeet, the intimacy...I miss it. I am weak in the flesh and would easily sin even in just my thoughts if I were to remain single.

I envy your strength sister. :nod

 

[Kathi]

God bless you in your choice. i have thought of remaining single...but i miss being married. the companionship, the helpmeet, the intimacy...I miss it. I am weak in the flesh and would easily sin even in just my thoughts if I were to remain single.

I envy your strength sister. :nod

I can not take the credit for the strength part.That is from God.God has given me a very important job on this Earth and that is sacrifing my wants and life to care for my son.

 

[Deborah13]

Well, yeah i read them. I thought it was perhaps those particular circumstances with those people. Are you saying that women in general can remarry without fault whereas the men can not?

Really??!

 

[Kathi]

Well, yeah i read them. I thought it was perhaps those particular circumstances with those people. Are you saying that women in general can remarry without fault whereas the men can not?

I don't think it matters if you are a woman or a man.