Is this an ideal way for a Christian wife to deal with a bully husband?

[humble soul]

(from Tessa on another thread)

I know of a woman who was going through things like this. She was a Christian. Her husband wasn't
She was a good wife and she loved him dearly but he was rude , ill tempered and abusive. She waited on him hand and foot and did everything she could for him. She prayed for him every night.
One morning he said to her "why do you do all this?" She answered "because I know you won't get any happiness in the next life so I try to make this life as pleasant as I can for you." The next weekend he turned up at Church and sat beside her. That was the beginning of a new happy life.
Never give up. Much love to you

 

[humble soul]

I've been thinking about this story more. It concerns me that non assertive behaviour on the wife's part might be seen as a good option.
I might go as far to say that it is a nasty thing she said/ did in the end.

 

[humble soul]

It's a bit like a Christian thinking "you'll get your punishment in the next life, whereas I'm bound for eternal happiness. ha ha ha"

 

[humble soul]

And it's not dealing with the problem here and now. If your partner is abusive, address it. Immediately. Say you won't put up with it. Show them you mean what you say.
It's all about assertiveness. Yes good old psychology 101 to the rescue. God doesn't mind us using our commonsense. In fact, he values everyone. He wants us to have healthy self esteem and not take nonsense from others.

 

[humble soul]

So many domestic violence stories in the news. One awful one earlier this year. A woman kicks her husband out but he gets revenge later by killing her and the kids. Then killing himself. Huge prayers needed for these families. Huge

 

[Who Me]

I've been thinking about this story more. It concerns me that non assertive behaviour on the wife's part might be seen as a good option.
I might go as far to say that it is a nasty thing she said/ did in the end.

I would agree she should have challenged his rude behaviour and discussed with him both appropriate behaviour and Christianity.

But

She should have seen that he was not a Christian while dating and not married him.

For both men and women one of the key things to look for in a prospective partner is the quality of there Christian life.
Is the man a moral leader in your relationship, is he serious about serving Jesus?
Is she a woman who is preparing herself to be a wife and mother is she serious about knowing God and serving him.

Was she cruel, no but it was tough love.

 

[Luminous_Rose]

The woman's situation was definitely one that wasn't favorable or safe. Since the husband ended up saved, perhaps God put what to do and what to say on this woman's heart. God protected this woman, too.

Why are we so concerned about what was in the past that ended up okay? I'm not saying abuse is ever okay and it's not something to trifle with. There are times I feel God calls us to deal with situations in ways that are different than the way that the world would have us deal with them. We were not her nor were we in her situation. She chose what she felt she needed to do and that was her choice.

It is something that happened in the past so I'm not sure why some are sitting here trying to make a prime example on "what not to do".

 

[humble soul]

Why are we so concerned about what was in the past that ended up okay?

Because women may think this is a model way to react for a wife. A good Christian wife model.

 

[LovethroughDove]

It's a bit like a Christian thinking "you'll get your punishment in the next life, whereas I'm bound for eternal happiness. ha ha ha"

1 Corinthians 7:14 For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband.

As a believer, our spouse "is" sanctified too. Package deal.

In that hypothetical scenario, she didn't have to say anything and he'd still be good. But, why wouldn't you address his behavior so that you could have some peace? Kind of a weird hypothetical.

I think it was just to show that sometimes warning people of what is gonna happen if they don't change their ways. Sometimes the fear of hell does point us in the right direction, and sometimes our love for a person even though they are nasty........can change a person

 

[Who Me]

It is something that happened in the past so I'm not sure why some are sitting here trying to make a prime example on "what not to do".

Because often the information is there it just needs to be recognised and acted upon.

I.e. dating a non Christian is none with the knowledge that this is not a suitable marriage partner and should be ended before it gets serious.
Have a look at this article:-
Wintery knight/2020/05/07
About, ' more and more women are asking why they can't find a good in to marry?

Read it and ask your unmarried girlfriends for there experience, not all ft his pattern, sometimes there aren't any Christian men.

 

[Praise Him]

I would see it as perhaps an attempt at a wakeup call for her husband with regard to his soul.

By sowing seeds of kindness with a serious message/reason for doing so.

 

[natalimiles]

I would recommend knowing more about his secret obsession.

 

[Quantrill]

It's a bit like a Christian thinking "you'll get your punishment in the next life, whereas I'm bound for eternal happiness. ha ha ha"

Except you present a different attitude then the woman had. That was not her attitude. It was not 'ha, ha'.

I received some good advice years ago that is similar. Never begrudge anything the man without God obtains down here. It is the only heaven he will ever know. By the same token, never feel too sorry for any believer down here for what they are going through. It is the only hell they will ever know.

Quantrill

 

[natalimiles]

I would recommend knowing more about his secret obsession https://cronicasportiva.com/ct-his-secret-obsession-review.

Seems interesting.

 

[for_his_glory]

I'm a strong believer of tuff love in a loving way and to put it right out there on the line. Even God has given us what the consequences are for our behavior either good or bad as eternal life or damnation so I think this woman had every right to say this in order to try and get her husband that she loved dearly to come to the Lord.

 

[Prycejosh1987]

That sounds horrible to hear, it also sounds horrible to think about. The woman should try and pray hard for the husband to convert, at the same time knowing the rights she has as a wife.

 

[for_his_glory]

That sounds horrible to hear, it also sounds horrible to think about. The woman should try and pray hard for the husband to convert, at the same time knowing the rights she has as a wife.

Should the wife of an abusive husband who mentally and physically abuses his wife stay with him, even though she is praying for him?

 

[Anaphora]

Mark 9:47. Cut the person out of your life. Why would any sensible person put up with toxic people. Example, a narcissist will not accept responsibility for their actions and words. Their manipulative and lie. Narcissist will abuse you emotionally and psychologically. Why would anyone continue to live in toxic environment. Move away, and don't look back.

 

[Christ_empowered]

I dunno ?‍

I’d want to dissolve the marriage but sometimes that isn’t an option. What if she had no way of supporting herself post separation? Real world etc.

God gives the increase…

I see divine intervention here which I this true of any genuine conversion. Abuse is not ok but in situations where no one will really help and abject poverty could befall the woman after a divorce…???

God is omniscient omnipotent and Love. Let’s all be thankful.

 

[Dorothy Mae]

Mark 9:47. Cut the person out of your life. Why would any sensible person put up with toxic people. Example, a narcissist will not accept responsibility for their actions and words. Their manipulative and lie. Narcissist will abuse you emotionally and psychologically. Why would anyone continue to live in toxic environment. Move away, and don't look back.

I just have to tell you that through your words the Lord spoke to me. I just opened up randomly the site and your post met me eyes and it seemed God was confirming what I thought He said earlier this morning to me.

It is this way. A relative has begun to be really aggressive towards us and when I asked God about the last interaction, while I was expecting the usual “forgive and restore,” I heard, “her words are poison.” And they were. But I’ve never cut off any relationship in my life. I try to forgive and maintain. But her words destroy us.

I think we need to put distance in communication between us.