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My boyfriend told me he was atheist

Why should faith interfere with love. I can almost definitely vouch that the guy wouldn't attempt to sway you from your religion as I hope you wouldn't do to him so what's the problem with this?
The problem is that a shared faith in marriage is a very important element in the Christian faith. Any Christian who wishes to honor the teaching of the Bible would have to reckon with this. And I can tell you from experience that it can cause a lot of anguish, especially for the Christian spouse since their belief system commits them to both suspect you of leading her children astray (even by the mere presence of your unbelieving example) as well as fear that your eternal soul is on the path towards everlasting damnation.
 
Not only did your boyfriend just announced to you that he is an atheist, it is that he is not willing to talk about religion. Communication is very important in a marriage. If he is not willing to talk about something that means so much to you (your faith) and he is not willing to discuss what led him to announcing that he is an atheist (after being in church and praying together with you) then it sounds like your relationship needs to be reconsidered.
Would he be willing to talk to your Pastor? Perhaps, he is willing to share what he is going through with someone else.
My husband and I are both Christians but don't necessarily agree on every aspect of our faith. We have had some very deep and meaningful discussions, and we respect each other's religious viewpoints. We are able to discuss about religion, faith and God with each other. We also pray together. My prayers are for you and your boyfriend - whether together or not, for God's direction in your lives.
 
Not only did your boyfriend just announced to you that he is an atheist, it is that he is not willing to talk about religion. Communication is very important in a marriage. If he is not willing to talk about something that means so much to you (your faith) and he is not willing to discuss what led him to announcing that he is an atheist (after being in church and praying together with you) then it sounds like your relationship needs to be reconsidered.
Would he be willing to talk to your Pastor? Perhaps, he is willing to share what he is going through with someone else.
My husband and I are both Christians but don't necessarily agree on every aspect of our faith. We have had some very deep and meaningful discussions, and we respect each other's religious viewpoints. We are able to discuss about religion, faith and God with each other. We also pray together. My prayers are for you and your boyfriend - whether together or not, for God's direction in your lives.

MaryBeth:

Some good points. I'm reminded of the Scripture verse: 'Can two walk together, except they be agreed?'
 
Greetings and welcome to Christian Forums, purplecloud.

First, I'd like to apologize for posters who have said, "Dump him."
Your post states, "I don't know what to say," so I know that you've already made what might be the most difficult choice of your life.


Even though atheists are moral and ethical people the problem (in plain English) is that the sin nature itself is sinful BECAUSE it prevents people from getting the benefit of God's love.
I won't therefore say, "Dump him," but would suggest that you tell your loved one that you've made a decision (before even meeting him) to follow the law.
If (when) he objects and says, "But, but, but I do follow the law!" - your reply is simply this ---> This is the law: Love God before all else.
 
It's going to be tough, love, but you have to stay strong. If society truely practices what it preaches about acceptance and equality then, he should understand that you and him have different views on life and that it's okay to have those. There are plent successful relationships where the two involved are polar opposites, remember the unattractive man/woman with a extremely attractive man/woman? One has a stellar career the other a blue collar one? They don't mind because they understand and are in true genuine love. They know differences and polar opposites exist, and it's okay but they see one another as human beings and that's all that matter. It's okay, make it work love :)
 
I'm sorry to heard that. You had no clue in 2 1/2 years? Perhaps he thought it was just 'going to church' but realized now its a commitment to Christ for life, which he is will not do. The heartbreak would be compounded many times more for a Christian to be unequally yoked with an athieist. Its best the truth came out now, before marriage instead of after, for your spiritual good and what is best for your children.

2 Corinthians 6:14Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?
 
One thing that no one has even touched base on, is soul ties. When you are intimate with someone (and it doesn't have to be full on intercourse), your soul is then forever tied to that person. Most people have more than one soul tie, because even feeling love for someone can tie your soul to that person. I don't kiss boyfriends, because kissing, and the feelings you can develop can turn into a soul tie. I know some people are going to think I'm crazy, but Google soul ties, and you'll find plenty of articles on the subject. Even becoming obsessed with someone can create soul ties.

So, I'm sure you're asking yourself why I'm bringing up soul ties, and how does it have anything to do with your relationship. Well, God talks about how one man, and one woman become one flesh when they are married, their soul is tied to one another forever. When people have pre-marital intercourse, their souls become tied as if they were married, because they engaged in an act that is reserved for marriage. I don't know if you have had pre-marital intercourse, or not, but even if you haven't your soul could be tied to his if you kiss each other, and if you love him. Key word could. I'm not saying for sure your souls are tied, but it's a possibility.

I know for a fact my soul is tied to a guy that I liked a lot, and when we kissed, I knew I gave him a part of my soul. I don't usually let people kiss me, but I liked him a lot. What people don't realise is that, kissing is an act that goes hand in hand with sex. It's intimate, and it is a way to show affection. Many believe it is harmless, but in my honest opinion kissing can open up a can of worms.

Now, even if your soul isn't tied to his yet, if you continue your relationship, eventually your soul will be tied if you have sex with him, whether that is on your wedding night, or not. You need to ask yourself.. "Do I want my soul tied to someone who is committing blasphemy against the holy spirit?" -- By not accepting God as truth, and Jesus as his saviour, he is committing blasphemy against God, Jesus, and the holy spirit. If you were to ever marry him, you have to decide if you can accept the fact that he may never come around. I would hope, and pray that he is repentant someday, but the hard cold truth is that he may not repent for as long as he lives. I'm not going to tell you what you need to do, because ultimately you need to think about what this means for you, what you're willing to endure, and accept, and what you think God wants you to do. We are all human beings on this forum, so we can't relay what God wants for you, because no man knows the mind of God, but you need to seriously pray deeply, and talk to your family, and friends. I would also advise that you talk to him, and let him know that talking about this is inevitable, and at some point you're going to have to talk about it. Don't wait forever for him to talk to you about it, but also give him some time. Maybe he needs time to think, and by pushing the matter on him, you might push him away for good.

From the age of 12-21 I went through a period where I didn't know what I believed. I grew up in a Christian home, and by the time I was able to start wondering what the truth was, I was starting to question if what my parents told me was true. I needed to come to God on my own, and seek the truth on my own. I professed to not believe in God during those years, but deep down I was confused, and conflicted. I think because Gods law is written on our hearts, I knew the whole time that God existed, but all the same I needed to experience life, and come to the point where I chose God on my own, not my parents choosing God for me. So, perhaps your boyfriend is confused, and just wants to come to the truth on his own. I wouldn't be so quick to disregard a relationship of nearly three years. You need to pray to God, and ask for guidance, and you also need to communicate with your boyfriend, when he is ready.. If he dodges the discussion that you know needs to eventually happen, and a long period goes by, and he won't budge, then perhaps that is a sign from God that you need to move on.

All you can do is plant the seed, and God gives the seed light, and water if that person is meant to be a child of God. As human beings there is nothing else we can do, but plant the seed of God inside others, and wait to see if it blossoms. Your seed may never blossom before your own eyes though. You could break up with him, and move on, and years later your seed could finally grow within him. So, don't lose faith that if you don't see your seed grow, that it will never happen, because sometimes these seeds we plant inside of people can take years to grow. I'm not saying you should stick around forever either, waiting to see what happens.

I hope this has provided you with some sort of comfort, and advice that you can use to decide what you need to do. God will guide you, and it's important to heed his words, even if it hurts like salt being poured on a raw wound, and ultimately you don't want to give up your boyfriend. God knows best, and he will show you the way.

God bless, and you'll be in my prayers.
 
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I don't understand.

How did someone who's been in church and prayed together suddenly turn atheist ? :confused

Was he putting on an act, or did he just fell out of faith ? :shame

For me, I became an atheist as soon as I read a couple of accounts in the Bible that were supposed to describe the same event, but seemed like they contradicted each other. I figured that the Bible could not possibly be my ultimate source for truth if I thought there were contradictions in it. It was a pretty sudden realization.

For most ex-Christian atheists, it's a slower process. They question some stuff without getting answers. They believe a little bit less. Small things first. They start doing a little bit less. A little less prayer, a little less Bible reading, a little less church. They wake up one day and realize they don't believe any of it, and they're not practicing any of it. Then they become smug little buttfaces declaring their superiority and telling everyone to get rid of their religion.
 
For me, I became an atheist as soon as I read a couple of accounts in the Bible that were supposed to describe the same event, but seemed like they contradicted each other. I figured that the Bible could not possibly be my ultimate source for truth if I thought there were contradictions in it. It was a pretty sudden realization.

For most ex-Christian atheists, it's a slower process. They question some stuff without getting answers. They believe a little bit less. Small things first. They start doing a little bit less. A little less prayer, a little less Bible reading, a little less church. They wake up one day and realize they don't believe any of it, and they're not practicing any of it. Then they become smug little buttfaces declaring their superiority and telling everyone to get rid of their religion.

You read one "apparent" contradiction and decided right then and there, that there could be no explanation? That's remarkable. Obviously, I can't say this with any certainty, but I would suspect you didn't have a strong faith before that time.
 
You read one "apparent" contradiction and decided right then and there, that there could be no explanation? That's remarkable. Obviously, I can't say this with any certainty, but I would suspect you didn't have a strong faith before that time.

I did spend some time trying to find reconciliation online and with my study Bible. I also prayed on the issue. I couldn't find anything I thought was a satisfactory explanation. After I'd been an atheist for a while, I found more passages that I just couldn't square with each other.

I thought my faith was pretty strong right up until I read those passages. I fervently read the Bible every day in a quest to better understand God's Word, prayed all the time and tried to keep a prayerful heart, went to church 3 times a week at minimum, and would try to evangelize everyone I came in contact with. As far as I knew, I believed with all my heart and all my soul and all my mind that Jesus Christ was the son of God, came down to earth, died, and was crucified for my sins, and thought that belief alone would save me from eternal torment in hell. Sure I had doubts, but except for that last one, they were all quickly resolved with prayer or further Bible reading.

Anyway, I'm not trying to make anyone lose their faith (my life was surely much easier when I was a Christian), just wanted to suggest a possible answer to Tina's question.
 
The problem is values, if he is not a christian he will have different values, and also he will not want your eventuall children to believe in God. In the end he will not like that you go to Church and stop you from attending Church as well.

Good people can support and accept terrible things politically and socially. If my girlfriend had suddenly told me she was an atheist, I would try to convince her of God existence and if she was adamant or simply does not want to hear I would cut her off. You don't want to live in a spiritual empty relationship.
 
The problem is values, if he is not a christian he will have different values, and also he will not want your eventuall children to believe in God. In the end he will not like that you go to Church and stop you from attending Church as well.

Good people can support and accept terrible things politically and socially. If my girlfriend had suddenly told me she was an atheist, I would try to convince her of God existence and if she was adamant or simply does not want to hear I would cut her off. You don't want to live in a spiritual empty relationship.

Atheists are complety capable of having a similar moral standard to Christians. Indeed I know many atheists who put Christians to shame with their commitment to values and morals

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I did spend some time trying to find reconciliation online and with my study Bible. I also prayed on the issue. I couldn't find anything I thought was a satisfactory explanation. After I'd been an atheist for a while, I found more passages that I just couldn't square with each other.

I thought my faith was pretty strong right up until I read those passages. I fervently read the Bible every day in a quest to better understand God's Word, prayed all the time and tried to keep a prayerful heart, went to church 3 times a week at minimum, and would try to evangelize everyone I came in contact with. As far as I knew, I believed with all my heart and all my soul and all my mind that Jesus Christ was the son of God, came down to earth, died, and was crucified for my sins, and thought that belief alone would save me from eternal torment in hell. Sure I had doubts, but except for that last one, they were all quickly resolved with prayer or further Bible reading.

Anyway, I'm not trying to make anyone lose their faith (my life was surely much easier when I was a Christian), just wanted to suggest a possible answer to Tina's question.

If you have trouble understanding the bible I would suggest you speak with a pastor. If he or she is competent she can clarify the seemingly conflicts easily. Most misinterpretations in the Bible comes from all the different versions and the problem is semantics. You can't just take one verse or chapter at face value, you need to judge it in the context of the Bible as a whole. And a good Pastor masters this good and easy. I also find your comment that insinuates the typical atheist "religion is for people who wants to escape the difficult questions by reading easy answers" very condescending and immature. I would advice you study christian apologetics for starters and continue your study of the Bible and seek help from pastors if you are having trouble understanding somethings.
 
Atheists are complety capable of having a similar moral standard to Christians. Indeed I know many atheists who put Christians to shame with their commitment to values and morals

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Good for you, but it changes nothing. There are christians who stray from their paths as there are atheists who walk the path. I have atheist friend who has never been drunk or done violence who puts me to shame. That doesn't change the fact that he does not give glory to God or want to spread the word of the bible.

Most socialists are middle class white families with Mother and Father living very conservative life, it still doesn't change the fact their values are misguided and sometimes horrible.
 
Good for you, but it changes nothing. There are christians who stray from their paths as there are atheists who walk the path. I have atheist friend who has never been drunk or done violence who puts me to shame. That doesn't change the fact that he does not give glory to God or want to spread the word of the bible.

Most socialists are middle class white families with Mother and Father living very conservative life, it still doesn't change the fact their values are misguided and sometimes horrible.

But that doesn't change the fact an atheist can have very high values your statement "it comes to values" on this issue doesn't hold up.

I wouldn't not marry someone purely because they were an atheist

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If you have trouble understanding the bible I would suggest you speak with a pastor. If he or she is competent she can clarify the seemingly conflicts easily. Most misinterpretations in the Bible comes from all the different versions and the problem is semantics. You can't just take one verse or chapter at face value, you need to judge it in the context of the Bible as a whole. And a good Pastor masters this good and easy... I would advice you study christian apologetics for starters and continue your study of the Bible and seek help from pastors if you are having trouble understanding somethings.
I was well-versed in apologetics when I was a Christian. I also continue to read the Bible often. My trouble was not with semantic differences. The event I read about had accounts by supposed eye-witnesses, but it seemed to me that each account was missing important events the other accounts had. I didn't think an eye-witness would leave out so much, and each account did that. It wasn't just in one chapter; I read about the same event in multiple books of the Bible. I'm purposefully not saying what event it was because it's central to Christianity and I don't want anyone to go through what I went through.

I also find your comment that insinuates the typical atheist "religion is for people who wants to escape the difficult questions by reading easy answers" very condescending and immature.
I don't understand where you saw that I said that. It is not a quote that I said. I'm not trying to be condescending at all. I just wanted to answer Tina's question from my perspective.
 
Eves - I'd be more than happy to hear the issues you had and see if I can provide some answers if you're willing. No pressure and I fully understand if you decline :)

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Well if you are a Christian like me then you are not allowed to marrry a non-believer anyway. o.o

I was born and raised in a Baptist church, the faith is still in my family, I am not sure if it will still be there by the time I die though.
 
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