MayGodHeal
Member
Hi, I'm new here and while I have some struggles and other praises/blessings I could definitely use a lot of prayers here. I got a lot here for people to absorb so grab a coffee and I pray you find time out of the day to hear me out.
First off I currently love my job. The people there are generally kind and while conflicts still arise and the job itself is far from perfect, like some of the machines I operate don't work correctly, (they're old but can function well if correctly in place, properly maintained) and the parts I make then do not come out with perfect quality, or should I say ideal quality. The leaders there are not always trying to get the machines to work better. So it's a real struggle as the machines are finicky.
The biggest 2 problems with my job is, 1 the women there are extremely lustful and I've noticed they're trying to get my attention, a few in quality control where I tend to be forced to interact with always seems to find problems with my parts, part of that is the machines don't operate correctly. The second part is that in those few women, the machines don't even produce decent parts. Which i find interesting.. other women just be in my path as I'm going on break and despite me being single it's kind of difficult for me to concentrate on work and really I prefer to stick with that as ideally work isn't a dating center. You're expected to provide a service for the people you work for.
As for women at work appearing to lust me for no apparent reason it's unclear if I'm giving off some kind of energy or it's something I'm not doing right. I do like a few women I kinda know online but it's really vague and I don't really quite know what the deal is with this. It's just that I'm not going to engage with any of these women as it doesn't feel right to me as God has already shown me a different path.
Second issue is driving there and back. While yes it's roughly 30 miles one way, I'm not bothered by this. I'm more concerned with the other drivers and this ties into a few of my struggles here is I'm stretched thin on income so I have to drive 55-60mph, but it's also the speed limit. Most everyone else including truckers will go 67+mph and there is some nasty drivers out there who will get upset with me. Not all the time they will show it but it's tense out there. I know changing these drivers habits isn't going to be solved overnight but, I know God can provide a path for me as he knows when I'm on the road so kind people are on the road or at least God can keep the rude people at bay. So prayers on that as well.
Now I very well could have a job opportunity or opportunities to choose from in Kansas, around De Soto. It would hopefully be less stressful in driving, the pay and cost of living is better out there. I'm hoping to have a kind environment that enables me to shine better as while I'm blessed with a nice home and I recently got a newer vehicle. I also kept my older 22 year old vehicle as its reliable, mechanically I kept it in good shape, it's been a good vehicle and it's got plenty of life left. The only problem is the frame is rusted, it's still solid so I have something to work with as I can do necessary work myself on it. I'm a novice when it comes to welding, I'm willing to learn but I figure it's a good vehicle to turn into a hot rod or whatever, even keep it as a daily or a farm car. Either way it's sentimental as it's been my ride for so long. I did buy the newer vehicle in case something were to go wrong with my other vehicle and I'm not out of a vehicle.
My other ambitious goal is to fix older vehicles that doesn't work and make them roadworthy to either sell or donate so this move to Kansas would potentially give me an opportunity to do this. That's if I can get a place with a big enough garage that I can keep several vehicles inside and be able to work on them.
Now with all this said in mind I'm still not sure on the correct path on what jobs are out there in Kansas. I did recently got a nice raise at my current job which does alleviate my financial situation, but just barely. And being in Illinois I feel is just a money pit, property taxes here are crazy which is the main reason why I'm struggling here. I already do think going to Kansas will enable me to make a proper living. I got stuff at my current house to take care of. I need better appliances and a few other smaller things. One big problem here is that I have 2 separate cracked bedrooms windows I currently just have tape over to reinforce them with and the older windows especially a sliding door to the balcony let air in making it less energy efficient.
So while I could potentially sell the place as is, I'm praying God will lead me in on this so I'm not losing much money here and not leaving the next potential owner with this problem. Also I need to get myself into gear to go through my stuff I plan on getting rid of plus, too getting the appliances in order. Sure I can get some used ones in better shape. But well... the women and driving thing has me pretty stressed.
We're not all perfect and make mistakes and I have not made the best decisions in life. But I'm praying God can lead me on the right path.
Sorry this is a lot to soak in here and I'm blessed in the fact I do have a lot that God has given me and I really would like to return the favor and help others feel blessed. So pray for my struggles and pray God will steer me in the correct direction. A lot here I'm still in the dark on. Thank you for hearing me out.
Edit: I think I know the source of the women at work, lusting me. I was reading another post in the forum here and while I wouldn't call it pornography I would feel lustful with models, ended up being nude so well soft-porn I guess you would call it. I don't know for sure if this is really an issue but I supposed considering most of my life women would reject me. I'm 42 now but I've been involved with looking up models on the internet since I was 18. Never it was a serious problem until I got involved with a married woman at work. Nothing serious happened but we had sexual tension. I saw the error of my way here through praying with God and speaking with others about this situation. I think the fact she's married is what separated us. It's sort of a long story but basically she's no longer working there and then I declared to never get involved with anyone I work with. Which is why I'm stressed out and avoiding any contact with women at work who appear to be lusting me. I've all but stopped looking at nude women's photos for the most part. The couple of women I still kind of know, we don't really interact too much is all that's left as I'm forcing myself to stop being lustful with most models. I don't really know if there is a thing with these women but I try to pull away, it doesn't always work however..
I think once I get this new life in Kansas i can really focus my time and energy into car repair it will become easier. Having the garage/shop near or attached to the home would allow me to utilize my energy more wisely.
Definitely needs prayers, I do care about these women as one of them is still supposedly living in Ukraine.
First off I currently love my job. The people there are generally kind and while conflicts still arise and the job itself is far from perfect, like some of the machines I operate don't work correctly, (they're old but can function well if correctly in place, properly maintained) and the parts I make then do not come out with perfect quality, or should I say ideal quality. The leaders there are not always trying to get the machines to work better. So it's a real struggle as the machines are finicky.
The biggest 2 problems with my job is, 1 the women there are extremely lustful and I've noticed they're trying to get my attention, a few in quality control where I tend to be forced to interact with always seems to find problems with my parts, part of that is the machines don't operate correctly. The second part is that in those few women, the machines don't even produce decent parts. Which i find interesting.. other women just be in my path as I'm going on break and despite me being single it's kind of difficult for me to concentrate on work and really I prefer to stick with that as ideally work isn't a dating center. You're expected to provide a service for the people you work for.
As for women at work appearing to lust me for no apparent reason it's unclear if I'm giving off some kind of energy or it's something I'm not doing right. I do like a few women I kinda know online but it's really vague and I don't really quite know what the deal is with this. It's just that I'm not going to engage with any of these women as it doesn't feel right to me as God has already shown me a different path.
Second issue is driving there and back. While yes it's roughly 30 miles one way, I'm not bothered by this. I'm more concerned with the other drivers and this ties into a few of my struggles here is I'm stretched thin on income so I have to drive 55-60mph, but it's also the speed limit. Most everyone else including truckers will go 67+mph and there is some nasty drivers out there who will get upset with me. Not all the time they will show it but it's tense out there. I know changing these drivers habits isn't going to be solved overnight but, I know God can provide a path for me as he knows when I'm on the road so kind people are on the road or at least God can keep the rude people at bay. So prayers on that as well.
Now I very well could have a job opportunity or opportunities to choose from in Kansas, around De Soto. It would hopefully be less stressful in driving, the pay and cost of living is better out there. I'm hoping to have a kind environment that enables me to shine better as while I'm blessed with a nice home and I recently got a newer vehicle. I also kept my older 22 year old vehicle as its reliable, mechanically I kept it in good shape, it's been a good vehicle and it's got plenty of life left. The only problem is the frame is rusted, it's still solid so I have something to work with as I can do necessary work myself on it. I'm a novice when it comes to welding, I'm willing to learn but I figure it's a good vehicle to turn into a hot rod or whatever, even keep it as a daily or a farm car. Either way it's sentimental as it's been my ride for so long. I did buy the newer vehicle in case something were to go wrong with my other vehicle and I'm not out of a vehicle.
My other ambitious goal is to fix older vehicles that doesn't work and make them roadworthy to either sell or donate so this move to Kansas would potentially give me an opportunity to do this. That's if I can get a place with a big enough garage that I can keep several vehicles inside and be able to work on them.
Now with all this said in mind I'm still not sure on the correct path on what jobs are out there in Kansas. I did recently got a nice raise at my current job which does alleviate my financial situation, but just barely. And being in Illinois I feel is just a money pit, property taxes here are crazy which is the main reason why I'm struggling here. I already do think going to Kansas will enable me to make a proper living. I got stuff at my current house to take care of. I need better appliances and a few other smaller things. One big problem here is that I have 2 separate cracked bedrooms windows I currently just have tape over to reinforce them with and the older windows especially a sliding door to the balcony let air in making it less energy efficient.
So while I could potentially sell the place as is, I'm praying God will lead me in on this so I'm not losing much money here and not leaving the next potential owner with this problem. Also I need to get myself into gear to go through my stuff I plan on getting rid of plus, too getting the appliances in order. Sure I can get some used ones in better shape. But well... the women and driving thing has me pretty stressed.
We're not all perfect and make mistakes and I have not made the best decisions in life. But I'm praying God can lead me on the right path.
Sorry this is a lot to soak in here and I'm blessed in the fact I do have a lot that God has given me and I really would like to return the favor and help others feel blessed. So pray for my struggles and pray God will steer me in the correct direction. A lot here I'm still in the dark on. Thank you for hearing me out.
Edit: I think I know the source of the women at work, lusting me. I was reading another post in the forum here and while I wouldn't call it pornography I would feel lustful with models, ended up being nude so well soft-porn I guess you would call it. I don't know for sure if this is really an issue but I supposed considering most of my life women would reject me. I'm 42 now but I've been involved with looking up models on the internet since I was 18. Never it was a serious problem until I got involved with a married woman at work. Nothing serious happened but we had sexual tension. I saw the error of my way here through praying with God and speaking with others about this situation. I think the fact she's married is what separated us. It's sort of a long story but basically she's no longer working there and then I declared to never get involved with anyone I work with. Which is why I'm stressed out and avoiding any contact with women at work who appear to be lusting me. I've all but stopped looking at nude women's photos for the most part. The couple of women I still kind of know, we don't really interact too much is all that's left as I'm forcing myself to stop being lustful with most models. I don't really know if there is a thing with these women but I try to pull away, it doesn't always work however..
I think once I get this new life in Kansas i can really focus my time and energy into car repair it will become easier. Having the garage/shop near or attached to the home would allow me to utilize my energy more wisely.
Definitely needs prayers, I do care about these women as one of them is still supposedly living in Ukraine.
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