Premarital romance and relationship

[Classik]

:heart
Sorry - if this is gonna sound harsh to people who are already involved....
As christians, Is premarital romance a sin?
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E.g,
* He kissed me, I was set ablaze, he's set my soul on fire - I have agreed to marry him. His kisses/ her kisses are so overwhelming. Just one kiss, a single kiss, our lives changed...

(())
* My 'boyfriend'/'girlfriend' is so caring. I paid him/her a visit, we stayed together for about a month.

 

[reba]

Love is an emotion we got from God.

Controlling our sex drive is a command we got from God.

 

[Christ_empowered]

I saw this on a billboard back in the day: "Pet your dog, not your date."

We are to flee from even the appearance of evil. I'd say, personally, keep it...I dunno...G, PG-rated. The last thing we need, as sinful creatures, is to push ourselves towards the boundaries of serious sin. In my own life, I've found that its far easier to avoid temptation than it is to be around it or move near it and then avoid taking that one, final step.

Another quote: "If you hang around a barbershop long enough, you're going to get a hair cut."

 

[Classik]

Love is an emotion we got from God.

Controlling our sex drive is a command we got from God.

direct! Superb! Succinct!

 

[Classik]

I saw this on a billboard back in the day: "Pet your dog, not your date."

We are to flee from even the appearance of evil. I'd say, personally, keep it...I dunno...G, PG-rated. The last thing we need, as sinful creatures, is to push ourselves towards the boundaries of serious sin. In my own life, I've found that its far easier to avoid temptation than it is to be around it or move near it and then avoid taking that one, final step.

Another quote: "If you hang around a barbershop long enough, you're going to get a hair cut."

Amusing indeed
Let's not get a hair cut and lets not hand around a barbershop.
Some people claim such relationships make the bond stronger. Bond?:dunno
Some call it 'bond'. Why bonding?
It seals our engagement, they'd claim. Really? It is better to avoid it. It is easy to avoid it too

 

[Ace1234]

In OT biblical times women were property, they had little rights. Marriage was allowed at 12.5 years for girls, 13 for boys under jewish custom. The girls virginity had value, because sex gave children and children could work. Men paid a higher price for a virgin bride than a non virgin. This continued long after Christ.

Having sexual desires doesn't stem from lust, sexual desires stem from puberty. We all know how hormones rage starting at about 12. Our culture doesn't allow marriage at 13, we call that child abuse, so most today wait until mid 20's, with males hitting their sexual peak at about 18....Today youth, all of us to an extent face different battles than in NT times.

Lust biblically means to covet, a desire to take something that doesn't belong to you or simply a very strong desire that can lead to good or bad behavior. The NT teaches our lust shouldn't lead us to harmful behaviors. One can lust for power, wealth, another mans wife or things, but lust has nothing to do with sex drives.
Our sexual drives are so strong that they lead us to seek marriage. My wife could cook, clean, etc..., but I married her because I was sexually attracted to her. I could find a friend, maid or even a man that could cook, my wife held something more.

We live in much different times.....Most studies say 80% of people today, including christians have sex before marriage. Sex is not evil, but can lead to much harm. No birth control is 100%, many get pregnant using condoms, on the pill, etc...Are you ready to have kids, you sure this man would raise and provide?
Millions are effected by STD's, face it..you start becoming sexually active it should be a concern, no amount of protection unless a rubber suit protects you.

Think it through...

 

[Navigator]

This is something i've been battling with lately.....

Because sex should be saved until marriage, would you say that one should think of marriage before even thinking about sex? Even if you really like a woman/man; if you are not married, should the thought of sex or sexual activities even cross your mind, even if you KNOW that no action will be taken on them..

 

[Ace1234]

This is something i've been battling with lately.....

Because sex should be saved until marriage, would you say that one should think of marriage before even thinking about sex? Even if you really like a woman/man; if you are not married, should the thought of sex or sexual activities even cross your mind, even if you KNOW that no action will be taken on them..

Well, if most would be honest, after puberty sexual thoughts cross your mind. As for sexual activities, most after puberty start dealing with issues of masturbation, etc.
It is impossible to think of marriage before coming sexually minded, puberty takes care of that. Sexual thoughts and desires are hormonal after puberty, a part of your genetic makeup, it's not something you ignore, it's something you control so it does no harm to others.

The sad thing is many want to call our sexual desires before marriage sin, silly, since they stem from puberty, the way God made us.

 

[for_his_glory]

There is no place in the Bible that constitutes having to have a marriage license. Man incorporated this into the law. In the Hebrew tradition a mohar or dowry was paid to the father of the bride by the groom in exchange for the daughter, Exodus 22:17. Genesis 2:23-25 explains the bond of marriage. The two are united as one in the eyes of God. Ephesians 5:22-29 wives are to submit to their husbands as unto the Lord for the husband is the spiritual head of the wife. Man is the provider and protector of his family. Husbands, you are to love your wives like Christ loves his church. This is an unconditional love that looks on the inside of a person and not the adorning of the outside. It is a love with a pure heart.

This submission also carries over to the bed that neither should deprive one another unless it is a mutual consent, 1 Corinthians 7:5 the principles for the married believer are explained in 1 Corinthians 7:10-16. As long as there is love and faithfulness the two should never depart from each other nor stray away for lust of the flesh.

Does God permit divorce; no he does not for what God has joined together as one flesh let no man separate it, Matthew 19:6. God joined man and woman together before sin entered into the hearts of man and woman, Genesis 2:18. When woman was deceived by the serpent in Genesis 3:1-13 and gave the man to eat of the fruit, man forgot what God told them not to do and they both tried to hide from God, but God knew what they had done and now was sin entered into the hearts of man and woman.

1 Corinthians 7:10, Jesus commands the woman not to leave her husband and if she does she should remain unmarried, but in Malachi 2:10-16 the treachery that man commits against a woman which leads him to have an affair outside of the marriage or abuses the wife whether it be physical or emotional gives place to what was said by Moses in Deuteronomy 24:1-4 that if a woman is no longer pleasing to her husband then the husband should give his wife a written bill of divorcement and send her out of the house and this gives the woman the right to marry again, but she can never go back to her former husband if that marriage does not work out or her husband dies for now she is defiled to be with her first husband and this is an abomination to God.

 

[Classik]

One can lust for power, wealth, another mans wife or things, but lust has nothing to do with sex drives.

Let's call it admiration: you admire her - she is intelligent, she is good etc. It is a dangerous idea to lust after another man's wife. X can't tell Y, 'I sexually lust after your wife': X is looking for trouble. The bible condemns sexually lusting after another man's wife. Any man who lust after another woman is indeed trying to start a war.

Our sexual drives are so strong that they lead us to seek marriage. My wife could cook, clean, etc..., but I married her because I was sexually attracted to her.

I believe you can still love a woman (whom you wish to marry) without being sexually attracted to her.
And I don't think you told your wife the first day you met her: 'I'm sexually attracted to you, I want to marry you.'
Any woman who hears it feels embarrassed...and could run away.
How about typical muslims who cover up their body? Everything is concealed under her clothe, you only see her eyes, how can one find her sexually attractive.
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The reason people are so desperate for sex is that the world has been corrupted with terrible nonsense...and everything is about sex: models, magazines, internet and pornography, music videos showing half-naked females etc
And it is the reason why people believe sex before marriage is common sense.

 

[jasoncran]

Well, if most would be honest, after puberty sexual thoughts cross your mind. As for sexual activities, most after puberty start dealing with issues of masturbation, etc.
It is impossible to think of marriage before coming sexually minded, puberty takes care of that. Sexual thoughts and desires are hormonal after puberty, a part of your genetic makeup, it's not something you ignore, it's something you control so it does no harm to others.

The sad thing is many want to call our sexual desires before marriage sin, silly, since they stem from puberty, the way God made us.

promotion of fornication is in violation of the tos. final gentile warning.

we have emotions , god says when and where we are to act on them.

 

[handy]

This is something i've been battling with lately.....

Because sex should be saved until marriage, would you say that one should think of marriage before even thinking about sex? Even if you really like a woman/man; if you are not married, should the thought of sex or sexual activities even cross your mind, even if you KNOW that no action will be taken on them..

I would say that is an impossible burden, and one I don't think even God would approve of.

Sexual attraction is important in a marriage and how can one have sexual attraction if one is holding the standard that sex with a potential mate can't even "cross your mind".

Christians have way too schizophrenic view of sex....sex is God's beautifully created way for procreation...but don't even think about it outside of marriage.

Ha....like that's ever going to happen.

I wouldn't have married my husband had he not shown a sexual attraction to me. Sex is an integral part of marriage, I would need to know that he would want it with me, before marrying him.

Thinking about sex with someone one is thinking about marrying is important. The trick is to keep the thoughts from going into "lust" territory and maintaining healthy boundaries so that no compromising goes on. It's tough, but learning that self-control over sex prior to marriage is a good thing too, because even as husbands and wives...there are times when one partner is going to have to exercise self-control over their own desire because the other partner won't be able to fulfill...it happens.

 

[th1b.taylor]

Here I go once more... setting myself up to be screamed at.

There is no such thing as premarital sex! God gave Eve to Adam and they were married, no ceremony, no license and no best man. When Isaac was married he went into her and they were married. When Jacob married the wrong woman first, she was in his bed, in the dark, and he slept with her and they were married.

You may not like it but this is still a Biblical Marriage to this day in the eyes of God.

 

[Nick]

Here I go once more... setting myself up to be screamed at.

There is no such thing as premarital sex! God gave Eve to Adam and they were married, no ceremony, no license and no best man. When Isaac was married he went into her and they were married. When Jacob married the wrong woman first, she was in his bed, in the dark, and he slept with her and they were married.

You may not like it but this is still a Biblical Marriage to this day in the eyes of God.

So are you saying that a couple having sex makes them married before God?

 

[Christ_empowered]

All over the NT, we're told to avoid sexual immorality. We're told that divorce, homosexuality, and fornication are not okay. Self-control and purity are emphasized. Paul tells us that it is "better to marry than to burn," by which I assume he means burning with lust. Clearly, we're being shown a system in which both men and women control their sexual appetites (pre-Christian systems and pagan systems that existed at the time controlled female, but not male, sexuality rather harshly). A Christian is to abstain from sex before marriage, refrain from extramarital sex, and avoid divorce. Those who, for whatever reason, don't get married shouldn't have sex.

As for the OT, I think its worth noting that in a lot of the Bible, we're not being shown how we *should* operate, we're just being told what happened and shown how God worked through the sins, mistakes, and missteps on His people to give the world Christ. Abraham impregnated Hagar with his wife's blessing. Is having a concubine something Jesus wants for His followers? Solomon had hundreds of wives and slept with--literally--God knows how many other women. Is this sort of promiscuity admirable, something Christian men should desire and hold in esteem?

No! Between Jesus' own warning against sexual immorality (I vaguely recall the verse; 1 Corinthians 6:18) to Paul's stance of sexuality and marriage, to the warning in Revelation (Revelation 21:8) that fornicators (among others, of course) will find themselves in the lake of fire, the NT/Christian view on sex before marriage, and all non-marital sex, is crystal clear. In order to make it OK, you'd have to pull off the same sort of mental acrobatics that make being an actively homosexual Christian acceptable.

 

[th1b.taylor]

So are you saying that a couple having sex makes them married before God?

Actually, I´m not stating that at all, the Word of God does and I just repeat it because God has grounded me in the truth... His Truth.

 

[th1b.taylor]

All over the NT, we're told to avoid sexual immorality. We're told that divorce, homosexuality, and fornication are not okay. Self-control and purity are emphasized. Paul tells us that it is "better to marry than to burn," by which I assume he means burning with lust. Clearly, we're being shown a system in which both men and women control their sexual appetites (pre-Christian systems and pagan systems that existed at the time controlled female, but not male, sexuality rather harshly). A Christian is to abstain from sex before marriage, refrain from extramarital sex, and avoid divorce. Those who, for whatever reason, don't get married shouldn't have sex.

As for the OT, I think its worth noting that in a lot of the Bible, we're not being shown how we *should* operate, we're just being told what happened and shown how God worked through the sins, mistakes, and missteps on His people to give the world Christ. Abraham impregnated Hagar with his wife's blessing. Is having a concubine something Jesus wants for His followers? Solomon had hundreds of wives and slept with--literally--God knows how many other women. Is this sort of promiscuity admirable, something Christian men should desire and hold in esteem?

No! Between Jesus' own warning against sexual immorality (I vaguely recall the verse; 1 Corinthians 6:18) to Paul's stance of sexuality and marriage, to the warning in Revelation (Revelation 21:8) that fornicators (among others, of course) will find themselves in the lake of fire, the NT/Christian view on sex before marriage, and all non-marital sex, is crystal clear. In order to make it OK, you'd have to pull off the same sort of mental acrobatics that make being an actively homosexual Christian acceptable.

Please correct me if I´m wrong because the truth is always important.

So, not knowing you I am left to react only to your post and from what you have written here it would be likely, to me, that you are a New Testament Christian and to me that is just as large an oxymoron as a Liberal Christian. Now, if two youngsters become one flesh, even just once, and walk away from one another, they have, as I read it, fornicated. (They have actually married and run off to do it all over again and often, again.) There are no mental acrobatics, there is just sin or there is obedience.

 

[Classik]

Now, if two youngsters become one flesh, even just once, and walk away from one another, they have, as I read it, fornicated. (They have actually married and run off to do it all over again and often, again.).

They have actually married - you are right. But would be 'doing it the wrong way' (I don't mean you are suggesting that people should get married that way).
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Once people fall into this... what my curch does is bless you - you have already married. But you must be punished in love.
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Please, people, do not do it. It is wickedness, and God is against it

 

[th1b.taylor]

They have actually married - you are right. But would be 'doing it the wrong way' (I don't mean you are suggesting that people should get married that way).
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Once people fall into this... what my curch does is bless you - you have already married. But you must be punished in love.
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Please, people, do not do it. It is wickedness, and God is against it

And i give you a hearty AMEN!

 

[Nick]

Actually, I´m not stating that at all, the Word of God does and I just repeat it because God has grounded me in the truth... His Truth.

So yes.