That isn't pastoring.If they are over children.
It is child care.
I know.A child is not considered a man.
I have never heard of a "children's pastor".If the Senior pastor asked his wife, as his help mate, to serve as children's pastor, and she refuses, then she is actually over riding his authority, and is in rebellion.
Sounds like a woman's grasp at a title and power she is not worthy of..
Women can teach each other and children.
If they want to be called pastor it is all ego.