The Official King of the Hill Thread

[Mike]

I show up again with my police officers in tow. The fact that Neo has any affiliation with Florida State is enough reason to suspect that he is a criminal, so he is read his rights, handcuffed and escorted down the hill to a squad car.

So, here I am again, in my rightful place. I am who you thought I was! So just crown me! King Mike!

For those outside of the U.S. who don't follow college football, you have to understand. A requirement to play football at FSU is to have been convicted of at least one federal crime.

 

[l'Chante]

For those outside of the U.S. who don't follow college football, you have to understand. A requirement to play football at FSU is to have been convicted of at least one federal crime.

Aaah. Okay. I get it. It has to be like being a South African president. If you haven't done jail time for serious offences like terrorism and murder, you can't be president. (The last three did time in jail)

 

[Vince]

The Phillies won again yesterday, so Vince, the true King of the Hill, relaxes.

 

[Theofilus]

*From his secret control room under the basement of the castle, Theo takes over all TV broadcasts on The Hill and replaces all programming with broadcasts from the World Championship Snooker Competition in Chinese. There is now no way for "king" Vince to know how the Fillies (the correct spelling) are doing.

[video=youtube;k6bd8MBKm4A]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k6bd8MBKm4A[/video]​

 

[Mike]

I show up again with my police officers in tow. The fact that Neo has any affiliation with Florida State is enough reason to suspect that he is a criminal, so he is read his rights, handcuffed and escorted down the hill to a squad car.

So, here I am again, in my rightful place. I am who you thought I was! So just crown me! King Mike!

For those outside of the U.S. who don't follow college football, you have to understand. A requirement to play football at FSU is to have been convicted of at least one federal crime.

In your own mind are you king. Your therapist might diagnose some sort of delusional psychosis. Vince, go back to your binoculars.

King Mike is in control of the situation. :yes

 

[l'Chante]

The Phillies won again yesterday, so Vince, the true King of the Hill, relaxes.

Good job, Pooksie, good job.

 

[Vince]

The various contenders for King of the Hill are startled by the loud sound of breaking timber. There, on the top of the hill, stands a shattered phlag pole.

Vince is no longer King of the Hill.

 

[l'Chante]

EEEK! Vince are you okay? Is that a splinter? Pooksie, bring the scalpel. Quickly!

 

[Theofilus]

I'll bring my saw, in case we want to ... er I mean have to amputate.

 

[l'Chante]

You are a true friend, Theo.

 

[Vince]

gasp sob I'll be all right sob I think

 

[l'Chante]

Vince? VINCE! Talk to me! What happened? And for crying out load Theo, HOLD HIM DOWN! I will never amputate his head successfully if you don't keep him still!! Man, it's hard to find good help nowadays.

 

[Theofilus]

Vince? VINCE! Talk to me! What happened? And for crying out load Theo, HOLD HIM DOWN! I will never amputate his head successfully if you don't keep him still!! Man, it's hard to find good help nowadays.

Ok, I'll try to... Wait... Head?!?! We're going to amputate his head??!?! Um... I'm not sure that would... Isn't there a rule against that???

Yeah, there is... I found it.

You may be as creative as you wish, but you cannot joke about the death of a user to take the hill. You cannot take the hill back from the user who took it from you.

We're not allowed to amputate his head, but we can still amputate his right eye, where the offending splinter is.

 

[l'Chante]

There is a distinct difference between decapitating him, and amputating his head. English is not your strong suit, now is it?

 

[Theofilus]

There is a distinct difference between decapitating him, and amputating his head. English is not your strong suit, now is it?

I grew up in Tusla, Oklahoma for 13 of the first 17 years of my life. I think I speak fairly good English (or at least tolerable American). I checked to be shure, though. According to www(dot)dictionary(dot)com*, "amputate" means to cut off a part of the body, especially limbs or digits.

All linguistic issues aside, "king" Mike has been on my throne way too long.

Baldrick, explain that plan with the platypus again.

*It is necessary to use "(dot)" rather than "." to keep the URL from being changed to the title of the web page.

 

[Vince]

While Vince's kind-hearted and sympathetic friends (Wow, you people are really great) are trying to help him, Vince suddenly leaps to his feet.

"Look!" Vince yells, pointing to the top of the hill. Turning around, they are amazed to see...










The Philadelphia Phillies phlag phlapping triumphantly from the top of the hill!



The phabulous Phillies are back in phirst place! (Magic number is 19)


Sincerely yours,
Vince, The King of the Hill

 

[Theofilus]

While Vince's kind-hearted and sympathetic friends (Wow, you people are really great) are trying to help him, Vince suddenly leaps to his feet.

"Look!" Vince yells, pointing to the top of the hill. Turning around, they are amazed to see...



The Philadelphia Phillies phlag phlapping triumphantly from the top of the hill!



The phabulous Phillies are back in phirst place! (Magic number is 19)


Sincerely yours,
Vince, The King of the Hill

*From his secret control room under the basement of the castle, Theo takes over all TV broadcasts on The Hill and replaces all programming with broadcasts from the World Championship Snooker Competition in Chinese. There is now no way for "king" Vince to know how the Fillies (the correct spelling) are doing.

[video=youtube;k6bd8MBKm4A]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k6bd8MBKm4A[/video]​

Wow! Vince can't tell the difference between the World Series in stickball and real sports like the World Snooker Championship!

 

[Vince]

Vince chuckles good-naturedly at Theophilos (correct spelling, by the way). After all, the King of the Hill can take a little humor.

 

[Theofilus]

*Theofilus has his men smuggle two baby platypuses... er... platypii... no... platypeese?...

...

*Theo has his men smuggle a baby platypus into the castle, then he has them smuggle another one. They start fighting and their quacking becomes so loud that Mike can't stand it any more. He grabs a broom and starts chasing them out with it. When he gets outside, he sees a whole herd of platyp... uh... He sees the mother platypus and a whole herd of her friends looking furiously at him. When they see him beating the babies, the charge up the hill, quacking so loudly that they can be heard for miles. Filled with terror at the site of the herd rushing straight at him, Mike flees as fast as he can. After the mother platypus has taken her babies to safty, Theo reclaims the throne and sits down to watch an exciting game of snooker.

Note: No platy... No animals were harmed in typing this post.

 

[handy]

*sigh*

Vince and Theo are both, sadly, unfortuantely, unqualified for the high position they seek: Vince cannot spell and Theo's vocabulary is oft too deficient to express himself in a kingly matter.

Seriously, "platypeese"?

I banish both to spend time at BSU's stellar Language Arts College and call in the ASPCA to humanely collect the the platypodes and ship them of to a platypode refuge in Tasmania.

I then spruce things up a bit, swath Bronco Nation in Blue and Orange, and will be busy getting kingdom work done in time to relax next Saturday for the game!