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The Official King of the Hill Thread

Vince, the King of the Hill, laughs good-naturedly at Handy's post. The Phillies are, after all, in phirst place.
 
EEEEE!!! Handy, what have you done?!?! *gasp* What have you do-o-one? *sob* Have you forgotten what happened to the last person that tried to help Theo? My therapist still lives in a room with padded walls! How could you knowingly send Theo to destroy another person’s sanity?!?! NO-ONE can help him. Sniff. No-one.

Just look at Vince, sitting there in the corner with his cheesy grin. That is not a good natured laugh – that’s hysteria. Come Vince. Come. I will give you a nice, tight-fitting, white jacket like my therapist’s. You’ll be in good company. The two of you have a lot in common. You both support a team that has lost over 10 000 games. There, there. It will be okay.

Handy, go fetch Theo before he drives the English facilitator to insanity as well. You might want to take some pickled blubber with you.

Pooksie, get my Zebra-print throne. The African warrior is back.
 
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*Meanwhile, in English class...

Hi, Mr. teacher man. My name's Theofilus. That's spelled with a F in the middle. Some folks spell it with a P. I don't rightly know why they do that. It would sound funny if they called me Theopilus. Wouldn't that be funny?... Well, I guess not everybody's got the same sense of humor. I think it'd be funny. Anyways, you can call me Theo. That's what my friends call me. Would you be my friend? What's your name? Cuz ya gotta know a persons name if they're gonna be your friend. 'Tain't no good tryin to be friends if you don't know each other's names...

You may call me "sir".

OK, Mr. Sir

Not "Mr.", just "sir".

Just "Sir"? That don't sound right. I don't think friends oughta call each other by their last names. That just ain't right.

My last name isn't "Sir", it's Fogg.

Hehehe... That's funny. Fog is a kind of weather. I never knowed anybody named after a kind of weather before.

Theofilus! Sit down!

Uh... Yes sir... OH! Now I undestand what you meant. And here I thought that "Sir" was your name. Weren't that silly of me? Where do you want I should sit down at?

Anywhere. Just sit down so we can start. I see we have a lot of work to do.

Hehehe... That's funny. Know why? Cuz you said "see", but this class is s'posed to learn me how to talk English good, so you didn't really see. You can't see what someone says... well... unless they right it down. I s'pose you could see that if you read it, but I didn't wrote nothin', so you should have oughta said "I hear we's gotta lotta work to do".

...

Mr. Teacher... Why's you cryin'?
 
Run, Handy RUUUUNNNN!!!! I got a couple of twitches just from reading this mail. *shiver*

And no, Jason. I’m not a Zulu. I'm a white warrior. Actually I'm so white that my veins shines through my skin, giving it a very exotic pale blue hue.
 
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"You both support a team that has lost over 10 000 games."

Actually, the Philadelphia Phillies are the only team in history to have lost 10,000 games. Therefor, Phillies phans are the only people in the world to support a team that has lost 10,000 games. The Atlanta Braves and the Chicago Cubs are closing in on the title, but they have not reached it yet.

Speaking of the Bravess, they lost last night, so the Phillies magic number is 18.
 
You do understand why you are wearing this nice, white jacket, right Vince? :smt056 It is because you and Mr Giggles the Therapist both support the same team. That and you crossed ways with Theo, but that goes without saying.

BONES!!! I need a fresh supply of pills, please?
 
L'Chante, I appreciate your kind offer of a white jacket. But Phillies phans are highly intelligent, rational people, which is why we root of the phantastic Philadelphia Phillies.

The therapist you are referring to only THINKS he is a Phillies phan.

Sincerely yours, Vince, the King of the Hill.
 
The man is obviously delusional. :shame

That’s fresh coming from a man that thinks that I was about to kill a man when I was only trying to amputate his head. :screwloose If you just held him down when I told you to, he wouldn’t be having these crazy thoughts. :grumpy

And Pooksie thinks that you are delusional too. She and the entire Mrs Piggy fan club.:silly
 
That’s fresh coming from a man that thinks that I was about to kill a man when I was only trying to amputate his head. :screwloose If you just held him down when I told you to, he wouldn’t be having these crazy thoughts. :grumpy

And Pooksie thinks that you are delusional too. She and the entire Mrs Piggy fan club.:silly

Did you mean you wanted to give him a lobotomy? (I learded that word in English class. :D )

Back in English class...

So, anyway... That's my theory. Did you like it?

...

Mr. professor man?... There's no need to cry, just cuz you didn't understand it... Would you like I should explain it again?...

NO!!!... Er... I mean... No, Theo, that won't be necessary. Now... Where were we?... Ah, yes. Here it is... Page 1 - the parts of speech.

Oh, I already knows the partses of speech. There's three of 'em - The innerduction, the body and the contusion. The innerduction is where you talk about what you're gonna talk about and the body is where you talk about it and the contusion is where you talk about what you talked about... Y' know what?...

(Sigh)... What, Theo...

Isn't it funny that they call the middle part of speech a body? Isn't that funny? I used to work in a garage back home and we'd fix the bodies of cars. Mr. professor man?... Why are you cryin'?
 
*twitch, twitch* Handy…?

She probably got lost. And they say men won’t ask for directions…Pooksie, take these pickled goat goodies and go get Theo. We have to save Mr Fogg. Look at the nonsense he is teaching in English class already. It should go like; Do – doesn’t. Go – goesn’t. He is messing up the entire language.
 
It’s okay, Vince. It’s okay. That nasty dream you had about Handy dethroning you, and me dethroning her, was nothing more than that. It was just a naughty, naughty dream. Here you go. Have another one of Bones’ little pills.

Pooksie, be a darling and bring my warthog-head sceptre? I think Vince might need a little ‘convincing’ to take his pills.
 
Someone has to get a hold of this thread as it seems to have been railroaded by one Vince. Whether the Philly's win or not is of no consequence, I took the crown from you, and you are back to looking through your binoculars. I never read throughout this thread where anyone refused to acknowledge being stripped of his/her crown.

Until someone replaces me as King, I-AM-KING! KING-AM-I.

Let us all proceed in the spirit of the ground rules... this means you too, my friend and brother in Christ, Vince! :yes
 
Ah, excuse you, Mike. You took the crown from who exactly? Vince? He didn't have the crown. The semi-smurf African warrior did.
 
Wow, turn my back on this place for just a day or so.....:eeeekkk

OK, first of all, it is part of noblesse oblige for those of high rank to admit when we are wrong.

We admit, we were wrong to let Theo loose in the Language Arts department. We send forth the Broncos stellar defensive team to take Theo out. Ryan Winterswyk and Billy Winn soon have Theo subdued, but no one will ever underestimate the potential for disaster that Theo represents. It is Bronco Nation's strongest point that we admit and learn from our mistakes. After all, we make so few.

So, Theo is banished to a subterranean bunker deep within the Frank Church Wilderness of No Return that is filled with large screen flat panel TV's which will play the International Snooker Championships endlessly. Let us hope that the threat of Theo is hereby neutralized. And Theo, don't even think about trying to escape. The Frank Church Wilderness of No Return is very aptly named, it covers 2.3 million acres abounding with mountain lions, wolves, and bears. You would never, ever make it back to civilization. You'd wind up being someone's lunch. You will be much safer and happier in your comfy bunker with the Snooker. You'll find that it even has cushy leather recliners and I've laid in a stock of elk jerky! What more could you want?

The entire Language Arts department of BSU is given a month's sabbatical and lifetime season tickets to all Bronco games.

Mike, (:shame Mike, Mike, Mike) your pathetic attempts just underscores the fact that you unfit to rule. You can't even keep up with the pretenders!

Vince, sorry, but a team that has racked up over 10,000 losses:biglol is just no comparison for an actual WINNING team, like, the BRONCOS!!!!

l'Chante, (although I do approve of all things Blue and Orange and you being blue and all) sorry, but Bronco Nation must maintain an exaulted public appearance in order to be taken seriously enough to make a bid for a BCS title. Unfortuanetly, with the BCS Nazis in place, the title is about far more than college football. We simply cannot have Smurfette on the throne. We just wouldn't be taken seriously.

So, I, Handy I, have yet again taken our rightful place as King of Bronco Nation (formerly known as the Hill).

"Can someone get these wart-hogs outta here!?!"
 
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