Trying to Reconcile Marriage

[Brother Mike]

Thank you for your response. We have been seeing our pastor for counseling for a few months now and I agree that discipleship/accountability is necessary. I'm glad that I came back to view this thread today. I found out this week that my husband has been engaging in an online friendship with a woman who calls him baby. He has been talking to her for two hours a day for three months now after I go to sleep. If I had just done better at trying to get past my trust issues, maybe this wouldn't have happened. He says that I pushed him away. I can honestly say that I tried, but I definitely wasn't perfect. Please pray for us and our children.

Yet not altogether with the fornicators of this world, or with the covetous, or extortioners, or with idolaters; for then must ye needs go out of the world. But now I have written unto you not to keep company, if any man that is called a brother be a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolater, or a railer, or a drunkard, or an extortioner; with such an one no not to eat. For what have I to do to judge them also that are without? do not ye judge them that are within?
(1Co 5:10-12)

The only problem with marriage is disobedience to the Word of God. Nobody reverences and follows the Word, so no results come. It's just consoling and praying, praying, praying, but nothing will change.

If a Husband is called a Brother in the lord, then you have clear instruction. We always want Help from God, but if one spouse is not willing to do what the Lord said do, then the children are even in danger. For the Children are sanctified by the believing parent. Someone has to believe and obey.

I never understand why someone called a Christians is willing to allow a satanic spirit to operate in their home. Not only is porn the dinner bell for all kinds of evil, but deception and lying is also straight from hell itself. We don't tell our children there is a Santa Clause for example, lying is the wrong spirit, and so will your kids learn to lie also.

Our God is an amazing God, healing all manner of disease, giving victory in every situation, but He is also a not to be taken lightly as fear of the Lord is beginning of Wisdom.

Mike.

 

[th1b.taylor]

Thank you for your response. We have been seeing our pastor for counseling for a few months now and I agree that discipleship/accountability is necessary. I'm glad that I came back to view this thread today. I found out this week that my husband has been engaging in an online friendship with a woman who calls him baby. He has been talking to her for two hours a day for three months now after I go to sleep. If I had just done better at trying to get past my trust issues, maybe this wouldn't have happened. He says that I pushed him away. I can honestly say that I tried, but I definitely wasn't perfect. Please pray for us and our children.

You and yours are in my prayers but for a point of reference, you are at fault for none of what has happened, this is all on him. He is the head of your family and as such all that happens in his house, in the eyes of God, it is his responsibility, period. And his cheating, with porn or with the on line dingbat, is all his!

 

[Mike]

If I had just done better at trying to get past my trust issues, maybe this wouldn't have happened. He says that I pushed him away.

I can't comment on what you might or might not have contributed with trust issues, but I can say there is never a valid reason to commit adultery, physically or otherwise. If I knew him, I'd seriously lay into him for shifting the blame like that.

Every husband and wife should guard against making their spouse feel unloved or unappreciated. We should always feed our marriages and make sure our spouses know their value to us. If he feels he is justified in what he has done online, ask him if he'd be comfortable laying it out before your pastor. My guess is he will decline, and that will be telling. He needs real accountability. If there is a good men's ministry at your church, try to get him to commit to it.

Do your part to restore your marriage, but don't let him make excuses for unGodly behavior. Either he if for Him or against Him. His desire to change will be evidence of where he stands.

 

[LovethroughDove]

I will pray for your strength for whatever comes at you. You need to trust him. You love him and he loves you. I've/I'm kinda in your shoes currently and though my husband is not communicating with someone calling him "baby", he just recently said something I have to get past in order for me to trust him. He said "I AM going to cheat on you". This was after I questioned him once again about something I found and wanted to bring it to his attention. I haven't been trusting him. I've been doing the opposite of what we are called to do.

1 Corinthians 13:7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. (Speaking about what love does)

 

[dirtfarmer]

Thank you for your response. We have been seeing our pastor for counseling for a few months now and I agree that discipleship/accountability is necessary. I'm glad that I came back to view this thread today. I found out this week that my husband has been engaging in an online friendship with a woman who calls him baby. He has been talking to her for two hours a day for three months now after I go to sleep. If I had just done better at trying to get past my trust issues, maybe this wouldn't have happened. He says that I pushed him away. I can honestly say that I tried, but I definitely wasn't perfect. Please pray for us and our children.

hello BelieverWifeMom, dirtfarmer here

First, I would tell you to stop beating your self up about getting past the "trust issues". Don't let his actions cause you to question your trust issues, they are legitimate. It he has been talking to the other woman for about 3 months, don't be surprised if there is not more that just talk.

My advice would be that you allow God to deal with him. You be faithful as a good wife and God will honor your faithfulness. When God straightens and corrects the coarse of a believers life there will be no questions left unanswered. If God doesn't bring retributions to some one that says they are a believer, then they're not a believer.

The most powerful thing a believer has is prayer. You stay faithful to God and don't rebel and God will bring godly resolution to your situation. It may not be the way that you would handle it, but it will be according to holiness and you will have peace.

 

[Boaz308]

Nobody's Going to like this. He who is without sin cast the first stone.... I am always amazed at these posts that start out with my husband did this, and then you can see from the rest of the post that the person who is sabbatoging their own marriage is the same person posting. Once you made a covenant before God to be married, it became a much bigger deal than how you feel right now. Have you ever withheld intimacy from your husband? That wasn't mentioned in your post. Hmmm.... What about that part of the bible?