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Unmarried couple, have child, split

thank you! i will not stray away from God even when the situation becomes almost unbearable. i will always stay in faith to him. :)

i am going to continue updating you guys on my situation.

i felt so lost. until i realized that i was STILL running my life, my way rather than God controlling every aspect of my life (living for god basically).

on my way to work (was literally yesterday), i prayed and told him, "you know what, im done doing things my way....i want you to control my life. i want you to run it. im done doing it all and being self centered"

while i was working (im a part time cook), i was thinking of food and not cutting myself (cook part, not hurt myself on purpose) and all of a sudden, i hear a faint whisper, but i clearly heard "its going to take time". i knew it was God talking to me!

i know that everything will be alright! i know it will all work out in the end. i dont know if our relationship will be restored (we always told each other that we were married to each other in our hearts no matter what), but i know that God is going to be my first love, and i will love him forever! what he has been doing for me is sooo wonderful!!!

take today for example. i attended a new church and the atmosphere was simply INCREDIBLE!!!! its a contemporary church and when we were greeting each other, a guy was all "hi im mike, we hold bible study on tuesdays......we'd love to have you over for dinner sometime!" its an awesome place!!!!

im sooo excited for bible study and meeting all the new people! its great because the church bible study is at, is literally across the street from me!!! (BIG across street tho. lol) i always thought it was used once a month for soldiers only. God is so wonderful!!!! i know he is going to help me through these trials and all will definitely be ok as long as i stand strong "like the house built on rock" :)

i will keep you all updated!
 
The fat that she is marry, changes everything. In some states, the husband has automatic paternity rights over the children under marriage. Seek for legal advice to know what is your position. Check if you can't give child support to your daughter.

Like you said before, it was a mistake. Every mistake carry consequences. The only thing you can do is to trust God, that at the end, things will turn out for good. And you will be the kind of father your daughter will be proud of.

Pray, ask God to make out of you a good father and that the mother keep her words to keep you as part of your daughter's life.

May God be with you during this difficult times.


God bless you
 
r3skyline said:
thank you! i will not stray away from God even when the situation becomes almost unbearable. i will always stay in faith to him. :)

i am going to continue updating you guys on my situation.

i felt so lost. until i realized that i was STILL running my life, my way rather than God controlling every aspect of my life (living for god basically).

on my way to work (was literally yesterday), i prayed and told him, "you know what, im done doing things my way....i want you to control my life. i want you to run it. im done doing it all and being self centered"

while i was working (im a part time cook), i was thinking of food and not cutting myself (cook part, not hurt myself on purpose) and all of a sudden, i hear a faint whisper, but i clearly heard "its going to take time". i knew it was God talking to me!

i know that everything will be alright! i know it will all work out in the end. i dont know if our relationship will be restored (we always told each other that we were married to each other in our hearts no matter what), but i know that God is going to be my first love, and i will love him forever! what he has been doing for me is sooo wonderful!!!

take today for example. i attended a new church and the atmosphere was simply INCREDIBLE!!!! its a contemporary church and when we were greeting each other, a guy was all "hi im mike, we hold bible study on tuesdays......we'd love to have you over for dinner sometime!" its an awesome place!!!!

im sooo excited for bible study and meeting all the new people! its great because the church bible study is at, is literally across the street from me!!! (BIG across street tho. lol) i always thought it was used once a month for soldiers only. God is so wonderful!!!! i know he is going to help me through these trials and all will definitely be ok as long as i stand strong "like the house built on rock" :)

i will keep you all updated!
Click to expand...

Praise God!

That's excellent news

Again, God bless you
 
thank you! im doing my best to strictly stay focused on God and only him during this time. its very hard though as i am not hearing from my daughter.

but what i should do, and what is the honorable thing to do, is to file for a paternity test to establish that i am indeed the biological father to my daughter. that way, it'll allow the courts to have an order placed out for her to get the testing done on her end, and it'll open the doorway for me to finally start sending money my daughters way. this will show her that i am attempting and that it is not just words from me.

i just pray that God will let her know, that i am NOT trying to obtain full time parent rights (aka custody, cuz in the state of WA, there really is no such thing as custody. they have what is called a parenting plan) and take our daughter away from her mother. shoot, what am i to do? yes i am a true nurturing father, but there is only so much a male parent can do for a female child. lol.

the best thing would be tho is if God brings us together again after i complete my journey. that would be awesome!!! our child would have both parents in her life, and possible more children down the road. :) lol but thats just a dream/desire of mine....

so, today, i am going to fill out the paternity test paperwork and hopefully the state of oklahoma will be able to locate her soon so i can start talking to my baby girl again and letting her know daddy is doing his best to take care of her from his end. :)

oh! another thing is im probably going to go to college again and obtain my degree in biology! im soo excited!!!
 
so some good news is that all my paperwork and my army physical went through without a problem! :)

i was underweight from the max weight and made it. whoo!

i also got my dependency waiver approved, so that way, i can claim my daughter as a dependent and get her free full medical coverage when i join! YES!!!

bad news, i still havent heard from my daughter, nor her mother, nor anyone down south.

good is that i emailed her father and he emailed me back. he seems like he legitimately cares about me and wants me and the ex to settle our differences for our daughter. it really seems like he is not happy at all with how his daughter is treating me and the situation. keeps speaking of "she needs to be an adult and grow up" and such.

another thing, i looked at her facebook, and she put a new profile pic up (cuz im blocked from her now .bleh), and my daughter looks like she has grown taller....its only been two months. how am i gonna miss a growth spurt like that...ugh...

it hurts knowing that my ex (stephanie....tired of writing ex) is deliberately hurting me. keeping our child's father away from her. whats even worse is that the child support people couldnt find an address and told me to call. everytime i call it just goes to the guys voicemail...ugh.

this really really hurts and i have no idea how the guys who go through this make it through. it is really tough.

:sad
 
make sure that she gets that deers issued id card if she needs one, and the tricare card, so that you or your ex can take to a local mtf or a doc that takes tricare.
i know walgreens will acept tricare and so does cvs. and any hospital that takes medicare.
 
Problem is that I need to get my name on the birth certificate before I can get her in deers. :sad

So I have to wait it out until she decides that her lil part time job and relying on the help of everyone around her will not be enough.

Stephanie really needs to step her self up and realize I'm really trying to do what is right. My recruiter, and his 1st sgt are really mad at her.

All I can do is pray she hits me for child support after I swear in so I can get my girl in deers after that. At least ill get extra pay for my baby girl.
 
Update : this past monday I finally swore into the US Army.

I am going to be a combat medic - 68W! I'll be helping others!!!

I ship off jan 4th 2011.

That's the good news!

Bad news, situation hasn't changed any concerning my ex fiance and my daughter.
 
r3skyline said:
Update : this past monday I finally swore into the US Army.

I am going to be a combat medic - 68W! I'll be helping others!!!

I ship off jan 4th 2011.

That's the good news!

Bad news, situation hasn't changed any concerning my ex fiance and my daughter.
Click to expand...
the old 91c, is now called 68w. how long did you sign your soul to the devil,lol.

btw i just hit 19 yrs, man retirement cant come soon enough.
 
Lol, ya know how it is. 8 yrs required.

I signed for 4 yrs active. Wow 19 yrs! Ur really really close! Awesome. My dad is a few years away.

He was a medic as well.

Ill learn from his mistakes tho. Ill make sure I receive my certifications when offered :D
 
when you are able to use the uso at basic and ait, give me your ako email address as that will enable us to stay in contact.
 
i actually gotta call ako help desk because my recruiter tried setting it up for me, and for some reason i get an email saying my username (real name) is banned from the system because it doesnt meet their requirements? lol. but ill have my ako email for ya as soon as thats done! :)
 
r3skyline said:
i actually gotta call ako help desk because my recruiter tried setting it up for me, and for some reason i get an email saying my username (real name) is banned from the system because it doesnt meet their requirements? lol. but ill have my ako email for ya as soon as thats done! :)
Click to expand...
have fun with that. and you can make a name when its duplicated.
 
So interesting turn of events lately.

God introduced someone into my life rather quickly. Was totally not expecting it, and was completely blindsided O.o
 
r3skyline said:
Update : this past monday I finally swore into the US Army.

I am going to be a combat medic - 68W! I'll be helping others!!!

I ship off jan 4th 2011.

That's the good news!

Bad news, situation hasn't changed any concerning my ex fiance and my daughter.
Click to expand...

Wow, he'll be shipping out in 8 days :o

God bless you and take care of you during that time.

I hope everything worked out well for him.

It's hard when people come here asking for help, but don't come back to report what happened. We can only hope for the best I
suppose :yes
 
theLords said:
Wow, he'll be shipping out in 8 days :o

God bless you and take care of you during that time.

I hope everything worked out well for him.

It's hard when people come here asking for help, but don't come back to report what happened. We can only hope for the best I
suppose :yes
Click to expand...
boo!

my first ship was delayed due to an error in seattle meps. they forgot to ship my medical packet down to arizona where i had moved to...

everything happens for a reason huh...i met someone amazing, and am happily married now. my gosh God is amazing. and i definitely know it is meant to be. its amazing...such an awesome feeling to have every day. married 12-14-2010.

neway, thats another story which im sure many many question, but i know in my heart, and hers, and her familys, and mine, that our story, was meant to be told to each other. something God had in the works the entire time....patience to all out there. trust me..

as i was saying, was delayed, and because i was delayed and lack of medical packet, i didnt ship and lost my MOS of 68W (combat medic). but i obtained a new one, where i shipped out to BCT a month later.

4 months after leaving, here i am today, in AIT, working on becoming MOS-Q (qualified) as a 15E (UAV maintainer)!!!

successfully completed BCT and graduated april 21st. was an amazing experience for sure. and am suuuuper blessed to have my family by my side. i love my wife and kids. and i thank God every day for introducing them to me. i actually live just 3 hours away from my house while here in AIT!!!! THAT DEFINITELY DOES NOT HAPPEN WITHOUT GOD WITH YOU!!!! :D

so to all who wondered about me, i survived BCT (boot camp for civies, lol), graduated, in AIT to learn my job, and am happily married.

to the story of my daughter. i never heard from her again and will be taking legal actions when i report to my first duty station. she will be with my family. all in due time.

oh, and yes, the "church" in oklahoma was definitely harboring her as i had called after graduating and reporting to AIT, and the husband told me "i will do all i can to protect her and keep her away from you. she doesnt want to see you."

confused, i thought he was talking about my ex, and told him, i dont wanna see her. when he informed me i was wrong and that he was speaking of my daughter. O_o

horrible people and i will definitely get my daughter back.

so yea, still alive and kickin major UAV butt. in week 8/17 of my training. :)
 
Wow... so many people post what they are going through but never post back again on an update. This is a major encouragement and amazing story. You are happily married now and back then you probably thought no one could ever be better for you than that other girl, the mother of your daughter. On top of that you have so many other great things going for you. Just keep on fighting for your daughter. Seems like once you made the real life changing commitment to hold on to God, he worked all things out. Thanks for the update
 
r3skyline said:
boo!

my first ship was delayed due to an error in seattle meps. they forgot to ship my medical packet down to arizona where i had moved to...

everything happens for a reason huh...i met someone amazing, and am happily married now. my gosh God is amazing. and i definitely know it is meant to be. its amazing...such an awesome feeling to have every day. married 12-14-2010.

neway, thats another story which im sure many many question, but i know in my heart, and hers, and her familys, and mine, that our story, was meant to be told to each other. something God had in the works the entire time....patience to all out there. trust me..

as i was saying, was delayed, and because i was delayed and lack of medical packet, i didnt ship and lost my MOS of 68W (combat medic). but i obtained a new one, where i shipped out to BCT a month later.

4 months after leaving, here i am today, in AIT, working on becoming MOS-Q (qualified) as a 15E (UAV maintainer)!!!

successfully completed BCT and graduated april 21st. was an amazing experience for sure. and am suuuuper blessed to have my family by my side. i love my wife and kids. and i thank God every day for introducing them to me. i actually live just 3 hours away from my house while here in AIT!!!! THAT DEFINITELY DOES NOT HAPPEN WITHOUT GOD WITH YOU!!!! :D

so to all who wondered about me, i survived BCT (boot camp for civies, lol), graduated, in AIT to learn my job, and am happily married.

to the story of my daughter. i never heard from her again and will be taking legal actions when i report to my first duty station. she will be with my family. all in due time.

oh, and yes, the "church" in oklahoma was definitely harboring her as i had called after graduating and reporting to AIT, and the husband told me "i will do all i can to protect her and keep her away from you. she doesnt want to see you."

confused, i thought he was talking about my ex, and told him, i dont wanna see her. when he informed me i was wrong and that he was speaking of my daughter. O_o

horrible people and i will definitely get my daughter back.

so yea, still alive and kickin major UAV butt. in week 8/17 of my training. :)
Click to expand...

Wow! What an amazing journey you've been on right before our eyes! You had been blissfully married for 12 days on the day I made my post :D

I'm so happy for you! I'm not exactly sure what you're not position is because I don't understand your military terms (AIT? UAV?) lol. But I'm hoping our resident military mod can come along and explain that to us soon.

Congratulations. It's such a blessing to see that God has worked out everything for your good. When you get discouraged about the situation with your daughter just remember everything God has done for you thus far. How exciting! I know in my heart that it won't be too long until you come back posting about how you got custody of your daughter! :D
 
i truly let go of all...it was odd....the woman i met, and married, i had been talking to when everything happened. its just, we never looked at each other in that way. but many many moons later, something sparked an interest in each other...was amazing..

yes, such patience...MY GOSH...patience...something i need to learn more of. haha.

to all those who ever wonder...is there someone out there for me? am i going to be alone? does God hate me?

heavens no God doesnt hate you!!! there IS someone out there for you, and all you have to do...is devote your life to God and He will take care of the rest. just focus on yourself, and all will definitely fall into place. you will come across struggles and mountains, but i tell you what....God will see you through it all. He'll light the way, walk and battle all elements right along side you. He will NEVER leave your side!!!!

thank you all! :)

and as for terms. oops. lol.

AIT : advanced individual training. its an acronym basically for school. its where they teach us our jobs. :)
UAV : unmanned aerial vehicle. the spy planes. :) sorta. lol.

one day, ill have my daughter again. but i gotta finish Gods step in my life. need to graduate from schooling, report, and settle in, then go after her. but for some odd reason, my wife (who loves my daughter as tho her own too. yay!) believes that shes gonna end up coming to us! like, we can start the process, but eventually, itll hang forever in limbo, but eventually my daughter will end up wanting to live with us permanently because she will begin to hate her mother. the reason she told me made PERFECT sense. my ex, devoted ALL her attention to me. she believes, whoever she finds, she'll do the EXACT same thing to. and because of this, my daughter will feel abandoned, and want to find me. makes a lot of sense, and my wife feelings are quite strong and come true often.

eek.
 
:lol the uav's can also carry tactical nukes but those are only the predator drones and the uav does(not the predator)date back to the 1950's

my old mos was also air defense. i hate uav's as russian has them as well. and they sell their tech to the highest bidder. that predator can fly in low and hit the target and be out long before detection.one of many uavs that we have.
 
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