Want my wife to be subservient to me, having small issues.

[calvin]

After seeing this guy drop off the way he did, I believe he is out of touch with the will of the Lord in his marriage. He's left the building. Somehow, he expected to receive approval and applause. Like our 19-year-old daughter tends to do, he'd have remained engaged if he got the approval and pat on the back he was seeking, but he tuned out when he didn't.

This is an epidemic in the world today. People don't take correction. They refuse to receive what they don't want to hear. We had members rally to the biblical role of the husband who regularly square off against each other on other matters, and that's wonderful to see.

He might have fully disconnected, but maybe he's getting email notifications and this overwhelming response might force him to reconsider what he wants. Faithfulhusband, if you are, I pray you do, for yourself, your lovely wife, and your children who need a biblical father figure. Seek pastoral counsel and go to the Throne over this.

Whether or not any of this happens, I know the Lord will use this for His good. Maybe we redirect another member who happens upon this discussion sometime in the future.

 

[Edward]

It's all about perspective, really. There's a fine line between "subserviant" and a Proverbs 31 Wife. If this man's Wife was a Proverbs 31 wife, then he'd prolly feel fulfilled and not be here asking advice. I'm not sure that Proverbs 31 is the correct scripture for this though, Ephesians 5 would be better because it also explains the man's responsibility in the relationship towards the Wife.

The way I see it, marriage on earth is a dry run for a relationship with Christ. Not a lot of people would deny being (subserviant!) to Christ, and yet they are not the same towards their partner in marriage. Greatest command, Love God with all your heart, soul and mind, and the 2nd, love your Brother as yourself (and the Wife, even more!) .

I don't think Faithfulhusband has the right to expect a Proverbs 31 Wife...if he isn't being an Ephesians 5 Husband to her. It doesn't seem right.

So...

Just to be clear,

You believe that someone doing the right thing is dependent upon another parties actions and attitudes.

That just doesn't sound right.

My behavior is not dependant upon someone else's actions. I am kind to my wife because I love her. Whether she's in the mood to be kind to me or not.

It doesn't sound right, does it? But many times, it is true. It may have just been a bad way way to voice it. But anothers actions and attitudes are directly related to what we do, think and say. This universe and all that's in it has entanglement. Quantum Physics has shown this. So what one party desires in another can only be achieved if they themselves are doing the same thing.

Quantum entanglement is where they have two particles which are the same, when one is removed and taken to another place, it is still stimulated by the the corresponding particle. If the particles are spinning clockwise, then one removed and then the first particle is stimulated to spin counter clockwise, then the other particle will begin to spin counter clockwise also. Take this for instance;

2 Chronicles 7:14
14 if My people who are called by My name will humble themselves, and pray and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land.../

This also ties in with Deuteronomy 30:11-19
11 For this commandment which I command thee this day, it is not hidden from thee, neither is it far off.

12 It is not in heaven, that thou shouldest say, Who shall go up for us to heaven, and bring it unto us, that we may hear it, and do it?

13 Neither is it beyond the sea, that thou shouldest say, Who shall go over the sea for us, and bring it unto us, that we may hear it, and do it?

14 But the word is very nigh unto thee, in thy mouth, and in thy heart, that thou mayest do it.

15 See, I have set before thee this day life and good, and death and evil;

16 In that I command thee this day to love the Lord thy God, to walk in his ways, and to keep his commandments and his statutes and his judgments, that thou mayest live and multiply: and the Lord thy God shall bless thee in the land whither thou goest to possess it.

17 But if thine heart turn away, so that thou wilt not hear, but shalt be drawn away, and worship other gods, and serve them;

18 I denounce unto you this day, that ye shall surely perish, and that ye shall not prolong your days upon the land, whither thou passest over Jordan to go to possess it.

19 I call heaven and earth to record this day against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life, that both thou and thy seed may live:.../

Now the 2nd Chronicles scripture is very interesting and tells us how it works. There's four big "if's" in there, that's a lot. If a man wants forgiven and a healed land (or more subservience from his wife), there's if's involved. If the husband want that, he has to do four things, humble himself, pray, seek God's face, and turn from his wicked ways. This is him stimulating his quantum self to spin in a particular direction, then the wife would not have any choice but to do the same thing. Then he would get what he wants. But that is a lot of if's, and he didn't seem to consider that in order for her to be as he desires, then he too must be the same. It's not that he doesn't have the right to expect it from her, but rather, it would be unrealistic for him to expect her to make this change without him also making changes.

This is not unrealistic. Everything we think about, do or say, all effects everyone in the world and they will respond accordingly. Love is a one way street technically, you can love someone and will love them and continue to love them regardless of what they think feel or say to you...however, if you want to see a change in how they feel or behave towards you...then certain things would need to happen to stimulate that response. It is all a choice. Love is a choice. Faithful husband is the spiritual leader of the home, so it upon him to set the example to lead her, and there's just no way of doing it in a lazy way, expecting (whatever), without first giving whatever. He himself must choose for her to be subservient and then, if, if, if, if. He must then choose to be this same thing for her that he desires from her. If he chooses wisely, then she would not be able to resist this love, and consequently would grow into the wife that he desires. Choose life. Any other choice is death and will not work.

So the very thing that he desires from her...he needs to look in the mirror and ask himself, how can I be this to her?!
:yes

Just do it. :biggrin

 

[Hermit]

First and last of all. Nobody has the right to claim somebody for themselves. This includes expectations.

1. I have never given up on her or our kids no matter what's happened or didn't happen. (Are you not comparing and expecting the same from her)
2. I have always made sure there was some sort of income even if it meant stooping down to taking out some else's trash.(Are you not comparing and expecting the same from her)
3. I took on the responsibility of raising her three kids from two other fathers, one of which causes a lot of drama and the other was the source of my insecurities for quite some time.(Are you not comparing and expecting the same from her)
4. I left my home behind and my family to stay in this state and start a life with her.(Are you not comparing and expecting the same from her)
5. I have always tried to build her up and support her in everything she does, including work and school and motherhood.(Are you not comparing and expecting the same from her)
6. I defend her honor against her family, who treats her rotten.(Are you not comparing and expecting the same from her)
7. I love her the ways she has always deserved to be loved. (Are you not comparing and expecting the same from her)
8. I spoil her with compliments, gifts and attention as much as possible. (Are you not comparing and expecting the same from her)
9. I help her with as much as I can when I'm not working or tasked out. (Are you not comparing and expecting the same from her)
10. I'm fair, loyal and faithful. (Are you not comparing and expecting the same from her)
11. I keep her in the loop and always discuss things with her before they happen. (Are you not comparing and expecting the same from her)
12. I make her laugh and I have the patience of a saint. (Are you not comparing and expecting the same from her)

It is a shame you do not understand unconditional love. It's ALL about giving of yourself without expecting anything in return.

If you expect a return, then what you gave was conditional, a deception, like baiting and blackmail to get a return for your investments.
Conditional love is not loving at all. It is pretending in the hope of getting something in return. This hoping is a perpetual state of dissatisfaction.

If you truly love someone, it is giving all from your heart to their heart. It is loving the love that loves you. It really is not about the person as such, but their heart consciousness, which originated from Truth. It is loving their truth, and in doing so you surrender to it. You surrender all your fears of self missing out on something for self.

 

[Kidron]

My wife and I have been together or a few years now and we have several beautiful children. Our marriage is good, and we are a great team. Most days I think about how we are each others best friends and nothing could come between us. We are young, only now getting into our 30's so I'm excited to see how the rest of my life pans out with her.

Anyway, the reason for the post is this... I was raised by parents who knew their roles. Dad was the hunter and mom was the gatherer. Dad worked his butt off and mom took care of EVERYTHING else there was. I barely remember her complaining about her role in life. It was her duty, and her duty could never be completed if it wasn't for my dad bringing home money. But my mom wasn't just the caregiver or the bill payer or dinner maker..she was sexually submissive as well and I only know this because later in life she admitted little things here and there over the years. Dad was happy in his marriage and so was mom. Going on 14 years now and still strong.

My wife cooks like a champ. She cleans like a champ too but I want something more out of her. I want her to be subservient to me. 100% without question or nagging. I can say this without feeling bad because I believe I deserve it and I'll tell you why...

1. I have never given up on her or our kids no matter what's happened or didn't happen.
2. I have always made sure there was some sort of income even if it meant stooping down to taking out some else's trash.
3. I took on the responsibility of raising her three kids from two other fathers, one of which causes a lot of drama and the other was the source of my insecurities for quite some time.
4. I left my home behind and my family to stay in this state and start a life with her.
5. I have always tried to build her up and support her in everything she does, including work and school and motherhood.
6. I defend her honor against her family, who treats her rotten.
7. I love her the ways she has always deserved to be loved
8. I spoil her with compliments, gifts and attention as much as possible.
9. I help her with as much as I can when I'm not working or tasked out.
10. I'm fair, loyal and faithful.
11. I keep her in the loop and always discuss things with her before they happen.
12. I make her laugh and I have the patience of a saint.

There are probably more but the list is already long enough. You get the point.

Based off that list, I feel like I deserve to be treated the way I want. I have done nothing but right and good things. Even when I did mess up, I admitted it, took my punishment and made up for it x10 over. I have defended my country, I have been a wonderful father and a magnificent husband.

I want her to be subservient in life and in bed. I feel like she is only giving me 50% of what I want.

--------------

Did you have more luck on this Christian Forum?
You seem to be hitting them all with this list and your narcissistic perspective.
I smiled when i read that you listed as #12, that you have the "patience of a saint".
Apparently you lost it just before you wrote this selfish self centered list.

Personally, i smell a TROLL.

I'll leave it at that..


<K><

 

[Windsong]

My wife and I have been together or a few years now and we have several beautiful children. Our marriage is good, and we are a great team. Most days I think about how we are each others best friends and nothing could come between us. We are young, only now getting into our 30's so I'm excited to see how the rest of my life pans out with her.

Anyway, the reason for the post is this... I was raised by parents who knew their roles. Dad was the hunter and mom was the gatherer. Dad worked his butt off and mom took care of EVERYTHING else there was. I barely remember her complaining about her role in life. It was her duty, and her duty could never be completed if it wasn't for my dad bringing home money. But my mom wasn't just the caregiver or the bill payer or dinner maker..she was sexually submissive as well and I only know this because later in life she admitted little things here and there over the years. Dad was happy in his marriage and so was mom. Going on 14 years now and still strong.

My wife cooks like a champ. She cleans like a champ too but I want something more out of her. I want her to be subservient to me. 100% without question or nagging. I can say this without feeling bad because I believe I deserve it and I'll tell you why...

1. I have never given up on her or our kids no matter what's happened or didn't happen.
2. I have always made sure there was some sort of income even if it meant stooping down to taking out some else's trash.
3. I took on the responsibility of raising her three kids from two other fathers, one of which causes a lot of drama and the other was the source of my insecurities for quite some time.
4. I left my home behind and my family to stay in this state and start a life with her.
5. I have always tried to build her up and support her in everything she does, including work and school and motherhood.
6. I defend her honor against her family, who treats her rotten.
7. I love her the ways she has always deserved to be loved
8. I spoil her with compliments, gifts and attention as much as possible.
9. I help her with as much as I can when I'm not working or tasked out.
10. I'm fair, loyal and faithful.
11. I keep her in the loop and always discuss things with her before they happen.
12. I make her laugh and I have the patience of a saint.

There are probably more but the list is already long enough. You get the point.

Based off that list, I feel like I deserve to be treated the way I want. I have done nothing but right and good things. Even when I did mess up, I admitted it, took my punishment and made up for it x10 over. I have defended my country, I have been a wonderful father and a magnificent husband.

I want her to be subservient in life and in bed. I feel like she is only giving me 50% of what I want.

Sounds like the kind of relationship where for Christmas, anniversary. wife birthday, he buys her a household cleaning appliance. Vacuum, fancy mop set, etc....

"I Robot". Great movie. I recommend. Till then, my prayers to all wives of husbands that want robots.

 

[jasonc]

I get the point you are becoming a jerk

I'm not the best husband, but yeah .wife ,you must ..she would reply,I owe you? Am I your slave? go buy a whore.

 

[Windsong]

My husband has friends who ask their wives to "let" them go fishing, play poker, whatever.
My husband hearing this for some time when hanging out with the guys decided to try that with me. He's a funny guy.

Let.
I'm your wife not yer mum.

 

[Runner]

After seeing this guy drop off the way he did, I believe he is out of touch with the will of the Lord in his marriage. He's left the building. Somehow, he expected to receive approval and applause.

I just read the OP. My Troll Detector is in the red zone - and I have the full-tilt $399 Troll Detector you need an FCC license to operate, not one of the $29 battery-operated Troll Detectors you buy at Target. That post is too well-crafted to represent the genuine sentiments of the poster. I personally have no doubt the sole purpose was to see if supposed Christians would buy the act and fall into the trap. If it was genuine, I have a new Exhibit A for The Marriage From Hell.

 

[Winter Tapioca]

Dude, you don't need a wife. You need a dog.
Any man threatened by a strong woman has a lot of growing up to do.

 

[Winter Tapioca]

I just read the OP. My Troll Detector is in the red zone - and I have the full-tilt $399 Troll Detector you need an FCC license to operate, not one of the $29 battery-operated Troll Detectors you buy at Target. That post is too well-crafted to represent the genuine sentiments of the poster. I personally have no doubt the sole purpose was to see if supposed Christians would buy the act and fall into the trap. If it was genuine, I have a new Exhibit A for The Marriage From Hell.

The guy has four posts? I'd say you got your money's worth on that detector brother.
Don't these type threads start in Christian forums as either this theme or the masturbation one's? Purely for shock value of the fundys.
Sad life to go to that kind of posting trouble that makes the poster the one that looks like a punk.