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What is God's opinion on swingers or multiple partners

J

jillian.h

Member
If some of you have read my previous posts, I just wanted to say, things with my husband are getting better. As he is bi, he's always going to want that something else I can't give him. I honestly could never see myself having a 3 some... like actually inviting someone else in... I couldn't imagine doing it... I've definately done it before, never whilst being married though, and I had a different sort of life back then.
I just wanted to ask if any of you know any scripture verses, or anything that would say what God says on the subject? Would it be considered being unfaithful?
 
Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband.
(1Co 7:1-2 EMTV)
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In the above passage Paul shows us that while its good for a man to remain a virgin/unmarried, that since there will always be those urges that will drive us, to avoid committing fornication (sexual immorality), let each of us have our own spouse of the opposite gender.

Paul doesnt show any allowance for same sex unions, nor threesomes, etc. or any other variables.
The intent of marriage is one man, one woman for life. That person is the ONLY person we are lawfully permitted to be having sex with. ALL else is fornication/immorality.
 
one cant love two masters. i was addicted to porn and that affected my love for my wife, how much more so if i actually had relations in the flesh outside marriage.

i mean what if the other is better at sex, then what. he or she goes to that person more often as they please him or her more. that isnt love, but self gratification, nothing more.
 
Although few ministers talk about it anymore,there are a number of sins that unless they are stopped and forgiven,will send participants to hell.Sexual relations out of a heterosexual marriage is one of these sins.

Romans 1:28-32 (21st Century King James Version)


28And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind to do those things which are not fitting,


29being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication,(PRE-MARITAL SEX) wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness, full of envy, murder(WARFARE), strife,(VIOLENT DEMONSTRATIONS) deceit, malignity. They are whisperers,


30backbiters, haters of God, spiteful, proud,(EGOTISTICAL) boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents,


31without understanding, covenant breakers,(VIOLATING THE TEN COMMANDMENTS) without natural affections,(HOMOSEXUALS) implacable, unmerciful.


32And knowing the judgment of God, that those who commit such things are worthy of death, they not only do the same, but have pleasure in those who do them.

And for those who think they can sin today and pray tomorrow:

1 Corinthians 10:8 (New International Version)

8We should not commit sexual immorality, as some of them did—and in one day twenty-three thousand of them died. :o
 
jasoncran said:
one cant love two masters. i was addicted to porn and that affected my love for my wife, how much more so if i actually had relations in the flesh outside marriage.

i mean what if the other is better at sex, then what. he or she goes to that person more often as they please him or her more. that isnt love, but self gratification, nothing more.
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I'm not afraid of someone else being better, to be honest, I have a huge history, I think 35 partners in total for myself. If someone else is "better", thats not really an issue for me.
 
aids, and other diseases such as herpes. and such like. being bi as you know has risks. you like me and my wife can no longer donate blood till death.

this will sound sick as he is bi, you arent a " man".

he wants a man and woman at the same time. this is wrong, respect yourself.

desire what the lord wants and be blessed and dont sell yourself short.
 
Deuteronomy 17:17 (New International Version)

17 He must not take many wives, or his heart will be led astray. He must not accumulate large amounts of silver and gold.

God doesn't want us taking more than one wife (or husband) because it leads us to love him less. When King David took many wives, it caused him great trouble and it brought on a lot of trouble for his children. His heart was not where it should have been.

But what about other lovers? In biblical days, the way two were united to become one flesh (husband and wife) was by consummating that relationship through sex. I don't want to open the argument about what makes a marriage in the eyes of God, but I think it's important to note that then, there was no legal paperwork. So, in other words, I think that Scripture is very clear that a man is to have one wife and a woman is to have one husband. And not invite others in on that relationship.
 
I'm not really meaning like, adding someone to the relationship. You can have a threesome with no particular feelings towards the other person. I mean, I've definately had my share of threesomes in my life... although I dont think any of them were while i was involved in a relationship.
 
jasoncran said:
aids, and other diseases such as herpes. and such like. being bi as you know has risks. you like me and my wife can no longer donate blood till death.

this will sound sick as he is bi, you arent a " man".

he wants a man and woman at the same time. this is wrong, respect yourself.

desire what the lord wants and be blessed and dont sell yourself short.
Click to expand...

You can have FMM threesomes without the 2 M's putting themselves at risk for aids/ herpes, and all that. IE, no "penetration" between the two. I've never had a 3some before where the 2 guys did stuff with eachother.
 
:crazy then why are asking and you decieve your self if you think that it wont affect your marriage as its clearly states that when we sin in fornication we sin with our body. what does that mean, it means that we are designed to be only for one person and one person only.

and that in marriage.

you are playing with fire, trust me. i used to think that porn in secret wouldnt affect my marriage , i was sadly mistaken as since i have stopped that junk i want to be with my wife more,and no my i didnt "have any feelings' towards those woman either only that they were attractive and a phantasy.

i dont think that it much different with a threesome, for you see as you enter that dark world of lust, it will be come harder to get that high and pleasure so you will do more and more to get pleasure. that is what happening to me.

i sense the spirit of lust calling you to sin. repent!!!!!!!!!!!! hell aint worth that minute of pleasure. you wont get any justification from me or any one god fearing person. here.
 
What is the use of getting intimate with someone you're not in a comitted loving relationship with?? I think this is just sad, even more so when even Christians conform to these trends and try to experiment like this. Agreeing with what others said, that this is sin, and yes I am definitely convinced that loveless sex is degrading and devastating emotionally.
 
Ok, just to be clear, I don't really agree with having a 3some when you're married.
I don't think I'd ever be able to do it, because to me it's still cheating. And I can't do that.

As for saying that love-less sex is devastating emotionally? It's not. Maybe for some people, but when you have a past like I do, if i was emotionally devastated by everyone that didn't love me that I've had sex with I'd be a complete depressed wreck. But I'm not. I'm not even bothered by it. But that's my old life. And this is my new life that I'm working on.
 
I'm sorry, I have to ask. Is this a serious thread, asking if you can reconcile swinger sex with the Christian faith? Anytime? Anywhere? With anyone?

Is there reason to give it more than 1/2 a second of consideration on your worst day?
 
Jillian, at the very least that precious baby in your avatar picture deserves a decent life with two parents who love and respect each other and aren't living like a pack of dogs. The bible refers to adultery in the book of proverbs, it says a man who sleeps with another woman is like someone going out into the street and drinking water from a mud puddle, the same can be said of the woman who sleeps with other men.
Your husband needs Jesus to set him free from his perversion, he certainly doesn't need to indulge it.

At least give your baby a decent home.
 
Jillian,

God's opinion lines up with His character, I think. Jesus would not be unfaithful with His bride. He would not invite someone else into His marriage. The Bride is making herself pure so that she can be with Him, and He died so that she would be redeemed. If He was not faithful, not pure and holy, then we are without hope.

I would tell you, and your husband, invite Jesus into your marriage, make Him center, gaze into His glory and be changed by the Holy Spirit daily...through that God will show you Himself, and His opinion, and sin will fall away...fall fervently in love with Christ, and desire to have a marriage that holds up the picture of Christ and His church. As far as needs that you may not be able to meet for one another...Well, God is ALL-Sufficient, and will meet every real need and more.

As far as Scriptures, or God's opinion, I think He would consider such a situation blasphemous of the Word, His Holy picture of the Marriage of the Son. Marriage is sacred, because it is a picture of God, and He wants to use yours to minister to you, to your child, and to others. The Lord bless you.
 
The Bible does not speak to specific acts, just that it remain between a husband and wife. david had lots of wives. I know you will say adultrey and fornication are "acts", but adultrey would necessarily require a lack of consent. If a Christian views a third party as a tool for physical gratification, and the spouse has consented, one could make the argument....

I am not advocating doing it - but I have been with other men while my husband watched. We are both confessed, saved evangelical Christians, happily married, wonderful family, not interested in leaving one another, just got interested in what it would be like.

The only guilt or conviction is to carnality and purity - meaning that when one pursues such worldly hedonistic endeavors, you are obviously not focused on your savior, family, love whatever.

But I would caution in condemning people to Hell. Our personal prayer life and worship life did not stop or get suspended, we did not stop sending our kids to Christian school, and no one is interested in filing divorce papers in our household. Addiction and carnality could be sources of conviction, but the act itself between consenting adults does not neceesarily constitute eternal damnation.

I await the feedback! :)
 
jnr2 said:
If a Christian views a third party as a tool for physical gratification, and the spouse has consented, one could make the argument....

I am not advocating doing it - but I have been with other men while my husband watched. We are both confessed, saved evangelical Christians, happily married, wonderful family, not interested in leaving one another, just got interested in what it would be like.
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No one's condemning anyone to hell in this thread. I suppose anyone can make any argument, but you can't make a biblical argument about what you've described, IMO. I can't conceive of anything in our faith that would allow for this. :shrug
 
jnr2 said:
The Bible does not speak to specific acts, just that it remain between a husband and wife. david had lots of wives. I know you will say adultrey and fornication are "acts", but adultrey would necessarily require a lack of consent. If a Christian views a third party as a tool for physical gratification, and the spouse has consented, one could make the argument....

I am not advocating doing it - but I have been with other men while my husband watched. We are both confessed, saved evangelical Christians, happily married, wonderful family, not interested in leaving one another, just got interested in what it would be like.

The only guilt or conviction is to carnality and purity - meaning that when one pursues such worldly hedonistic endeavors, you are obviously not focused on your savior, family, love whatever.

But I would caution in condemning people to Hell. Our personal prayer life and worship life did not stop or get suspended, we did not stop sending our kids to Christian school, and no one is interested in filing divorce papers in our household. Addiction and carnality could be sources of conviction, but the act itself between consenting adults does not neceesarily constitute eternal damnation.

I await the feedback! :)
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ok as a former porn addict. i find it hard that it didnt affect your marriage and walk.

i merely watched it and lost much interest in my wife.

if i did what you did,truth be told, i would want the better lover then my wife.

when you get into porn and those acts its about you in your flesh getting pleased. the spouse should seek to please the other.
 
Any extra-marital sexual activity, or even the thought of wanting it is called---adultery. That is a sin, and Christians should know this stuff. It is not unexpected that unbelievers would commit any sin, but Christians deliberately going against God will have a price to pay.

1 Corinthians 6:9-10 NLT tells us about the penalty for adulterers:
Don’t you realize that those who do wrong will not inherit the Kingdom of God? Don’t fool yourselves. Those who indulge in sexual sin, or who worship idols, or commit adultery, or are male prostitutes, or practice homosexuality, or are thieves, or greedy people, or drunkards, or are abusive, or cheat people—none of these will inherit the Kingdom of God.
 
God's Word is VERY CLEAR about his opinion on this subject. Practically from cover to cover. If all of the verses were quoted on this thread, you would spend MANY HOURS reading it. God's plan is ONE wife, ONE husband for ONE entire life together.
 
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