What is the best thing to do when you hate someone?

[IamBee]

Long story short, I had a lot of people abuse and lie to me as a child and young adult. Now that I'm older and wiser, I can better reflect on my childhood and my 20s.

Eversince I came to understand how I was mistreated, I have had a lot of venom inside me. I feel like I could actually kill them if I saw them again.

The scripture below was on my mind Thursday evening and gave me deep peace, unfortunately the hate came back this morning. I believe Jesus is reaching out to me, but my eyes are blinded.

Luke 6 verses 22 & 23.

22 Blessed are you when people hate you,
when they exclude you and insult you
and reject your name as evil,
because of the Son of Man.

23 “Rejoice in that day and leap for joy, because great is your reward in heaven. For that is how their ancestors treated the prophets.

The peace I felt was due to the awareness that people never, ever receive a "payoff" for abusing someone. There's nothing in it for them, but it's possible for the targets/victims to receive compensation in many forms.

I truly believe God wants to give back to those who were mistreated and stolen from. Just like when he made Joseph king after his own brothers betrayed him. The prodigal son was rewarded once he returned from a life of debauchery.

I feel their sins have turned my heart to stone. I hate these abusers with so much fury it bugs me all day. I feel so traumatized, but I know I am capable of doing better. I'm so stuck. I'm glad these people aren't in my life anymore because I don't know what I would do.

This scripture worries me:

1 John 3:15 Anyone who hates a brother or sister is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life residing in him.

I know this particular verse is about me. There's no denying it. I have no idea how to properly respond to the traumas I've experienced. God has delivered me from a lot of bothersome habits, but this hate has me knocked down. How does one go about getting rid of hate for others? Thanks for reading

 

[Who Me]

I am sorry you have had a tough life.
May I suggest how to deal with your feelings by talking/praying to God about them.

No not in a super spiritual way but to really tell God about your experiences, what happened to you, who did it, why they did it, how they responded while abusing you and of course the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual affects upon you.

Tell God about it'd ask h8m to deal with the abusers and with yourself

 

[WIP]

Long story short, I had a lot of people abuse and lie to me as a child and young adult. Now that I'm older and wiser, I can better reflect on my childhood and my 20s.

Eversince I came to understand how I was mistreated, I have had a lot of venom inside me. I feel like I could actually kill them if I saw them again.

The scripture below was on my mind Thursday evening and gave me deep peace, unfortunately the hate came back this morning. I believe Jesus is reaching out to me, but my eyes are blinded.

Luke 6 verses 22 & 23.

22 Blessed are you when people hate you,
when they exclude you and insult you
and reject your name as evil,
because of the Son of Man.

23 “Rejoice in that day and leap for joy, because great is your reward in heaven. For that is how their ancestors treated the prophets.

The peace I felt was due to the awareness that people never, ever receive a "payoff" for abusing someone. There's nothing in it for them, but it's possible for the targets/victims to receive compensation in many forms.

I truly believe God wants to give back to those who were mistreated and stolen from. Just like when he made Joseph king after his own brothers betrayed him. The prodigal son was rewarded once he returned from a life of debauchery.

I feel their sins have turned my heart to stone. I hate these abusers with so much fury it bugs me all day. I feel so traumatized, but I know I am capable of doing better. I'm so stuck. I'm glad these people aren't in my life anymore because I don't know what I would do.

This scripture worries me:

1 John 3:15 Anyone who hates a brother or sister is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life residing in him.

I know this particular verse is about me. There's no denying it. I have no idea how to properly respond to the traumas I've experienced. God has delivered me from a lot of bothersome habits, but this hate has me knocked down. How does one go about getting rid of hate for others? Thanks for reading

38 “You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’
39 But I tell you not to resist an evil person. But whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also.
40 If anyone wants to sue you and take away your tunic, let him have your cloak also.
41 And whoever compels you to go one mile, go with him two.
42 Give to him who asks you, and from him who wants to borrow from you do not turn away.

43 You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’
44 But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you,
45 that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.
46 For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax collectors do the same?
47 And if you greet your brethren only, what do you do more than others? Do not even the tax collectors do so?
48 Therefore you shall be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect."
Matthew 5:38-48 NKJV

28 "Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
29 Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
30 For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”
Matthew 11:28-30 NKJV

Jesus is Lord. Let Him be your Lord.

 

[GodsGrace]

Long story short, I had a lot of people abuse and lie to me as a child and young adult. Now that I'm older and wiser, I can better reflect on my childhood and my 20s.

Eversince I came to understand how I was mistreated, I have had a lot of venom inside me. I feel like I could actually kill them if I saw them again.

The scripture below was on my mind Thursday evening and gave me deep peace, unfortunately the hate came back this morning. I believe Jesus is reaching out to me, but my eyes are blinded.

Luke 6 verses 22 & 23.

22 Blessed are you when people hate you,
when they exclude you and insult you
and reject your name as evil,
because of the Son of Man.

23 “Rejoice in that day and leap for joy, because great is your reward in heaven. For that is how their ancestors treated the prophets.

The peace I felt was due to the awareness that people never, ever receive a "payoff" for abusing someone. There's nothing in it for them, but it's possible for the targets/victims to receive compensation in many forms.

I truly believe God wants to give back to those who were mistreated and stolen from. Just like when he made Joseph king after his own brothers betrayed him. The prodigal son was rewarded once he returned from a life of debauchery.

I feel their sins have turned my heart to stone. I hate these abusers with so much fury it bugs me all day. I feel so traumatized, but I know I am capable of doing better. I'm so stuck. I'm glad these people aren't in my life anymore because I don't know what I would do.

This scripture worries me:

1 John 3:15 Anyone who hates a brother or sister is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life residing in him.

I know this particular verse is about me. There's no denying it. I have no idea how to properly respond to the traumas I've experienced. God has delivered me from a lot of bothersome habits, but this hate has me knocked down. How does one go about getting rid of hate for others? Thanks for reading

Hi I,
Welcome to the forum. I do believe you're new here.

Forgiving persons that have harmed you can take a long time.
It could happen overnight, or it could take years.

God knows that you're troubled by this unforgiveness so I wouldn't worry about it to the degree that you are.

However, I do want to say that forgiving someone is not always a matter of the heart.
If the harm is great, it will have to do to forgive them IN WILL.
IOW, we disregard our heart and just WILL to forgive them.
This means that you want to forgive them but you'll still feel the hate somewhere inside of you.

Understand that it is satan always behind these matters.
Persons let him influence them instead of God.
So, really, we should be feeling sorry for them along with this hate that you feel.
We should be praying for their salvation - that they come to the knowledge of God.

You'll find that somewhere down the line you won't feel the hatred anymore and you'll
forgive them also with your heart.

Don't despair...
Pray for their salvation...
and don't be in a hurry...
God will come through eventually.

 

[for_his_glory]

Mat 5:43 Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy.
Mat 5:44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;
Mat 5:45 That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.
Mat 5:46 For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same?
Mat 5:47 And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? do not even the publicans so?
Mat 5:48 Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.

Mat 6:14 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:
Mat 6:15 But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

It is a hard thing to do in forgiving others the hurt they have caused you, as well I know. Our flesh wants to tare others apart and when we allow the flesh to take over the Spirit of God that dwells in us then we are giving place to Satan in thought and actions against those who oppress us. It took me many years to forgive those who persecuted me, almost to physical death, but after reading these scriptures above I knew as being a child of God I had to forgive from my heart and start praying for my enemies. I could not do this on my own, but only through the love of Christ who forgave me my sins. Dwelling on our hurts will eat us up, but when we learn to release the anger, even though we can never forget what was done to us, but at least we can move past it for a better life in Christ.

I hope this helps and am praying for you

 

[jaybo]

Long story short, I had a lot of people abuse and lie to me as a child and young adult. Now that I'm older and wiser, I can better reflect on my childhood and my 20s.

Eversince I came to understand how I was mistreated, I have had a lot of venom inside me. I feel like I could actually kill them if I saw them again.

The scripture below was on my mind Thursday evening and gave me deep peace, unfortunately the hate came back this morning. I believe Jesus is reaching out to me, but my eyes are blinded.

Luke 6 verses 22 & 23.

22 Blessed are you when people hate you,
when they exclude you and insult you
and reject your name as evil,
because of the Son of Man.

23 “Rejoice in that day and leap for joy, because great is your reward in heaven. For that is how their ancestors treated the prophets.

The peace I felt was due to the awareness that people never, ever receive a "payoff" for abusing someone. There's nothing in it for them, but it's possible for the targets/victims to receive compensation in many forms.

I truly believe God wants to give back to those who were mistreated and stolen from. Just like when he made Joseph king after his own brothers betrayed him. The prodigal son was rewarded once he returned from a life of debauchery.

I feel their sins have turned my heart to stone. I hate these abusers with so much fury it bugs me all day. I feel so traumatized, but I know I am capable of doing better. I'm so stuck. I'm glad these people aren't in my life anymore because I don't know what I would do.

This scripture worries me:

1 John 3:15 Anyone who hates a brother or sister is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life residing in him.

I know this particular verse is about me. There's no denying it. I have no idea how to properly respond to the traumas I've experienced. God has delivered me from a lot of bothersome habits, but this hate has me knocked down. How does one go about getting rid of hate for others? Thanks for reading

I have had a similar situation in my life. Actually several. My solution is to realize that I am a better person than they are. I have Christ as my Savior and the Holy Spirit in my life. They have neither (even if they claim that they have). Since I cannot deal with them I have turned them over to God and have entirely separated myself from them.

I cannot deal with them so I don't. I don't know if this is possible for you but if you can, entirely separate yourself from them and lead your life in accordance with God's leading. There is no need to hate them; that is a waste of your energy. I have rendered one person in particular -- my brother -- "dead". I no longer have any contact with him, nor will I. Here are two reasons, both happening at the time of my mother's death. 1) At her funeral, he said "now your wife has the family money she married you for" and 2) after we had chosen certain items to remember her by, he took the ones and had chosen and brought them to Goodwill. I was unable to get them back.

Hating someone simply burns up your energy. If your situation is at all similar to mine, they are not even affected by your hatred, so why waste your energy? Turn them over to God and separate yourself from them.

 

[GodsGrace]

I have had a similar situation in my life. Actually several. My solution is to realize that I am a better person than they are. I have Christ as my Savior and the Holy Spirit in my life. They have neither (even if they claim that they have). Since I cannot deal with them I have turned them over to God and have entirely separated myself from them.

I cannot deal with them so I don't. I don't know if this is possible for you but if you can, entirely separate yourself from them and lead your life in accordance with God's leading. There is no need to hate them; that is a waste of your energy. I have rendered one person in particular -- my brother -- "dead". I no longer have any contact with him, nor will I. Here are two reasons, both happening at the time of my mother's death. 1) At her funeral, he said "now your wife has the family money she married you for" and 2) after we had chosen certain items to remember her by, he took the ones and had chosen and brought them to Goodwill. I was unable to get them back.

Hating someone simply burns up your energy. If your situation is at all similar to mine, they are not even affected by your hatred, so why waste your energy? Turn them over to God and separate yourself from them.

Agreed.
It is not necessary to associate yourself with persons that do you harm.
And, yes, we forgive them for our own benefit since they don't care if we forgive them or not.
But God does, so we do have to forgive them somehow...
Then the hate goes away too.
To the point that, eventually, you might pass them in the street and it has absolutely no effect.

 

[Padre Pio]

I'm sorry to hear that you have suffered so much... I can understand your pain.

I would say try to forgive them, not for them but for your own mental well-being. And trust the Lord, he would have already punished them or will punish them (or forgive them if they deserve it).

Just leave the situation to God, he knows best.

 

[IamBee]

I have had a similar situation in my life. Actually several. My solution is to realize that I am a better person than they are. I have Christ as my Savior and the Holy Spirit in my life. They have neither (even if they claim that they have). Since I cannot deal with them I have turned them over to God and have entirely separated myself from them.

I cannot deal with them so I don't. I don't know if this is possible for you but if you can, entirely separate yourself from them and lead your life in accordance with God's leading. There is no need to hate them; that is a waste of your energy. I have rendered one person in particular -- my brother -- "dead". I no longer have any contact with him, nor will I. Here are two reasons, both happening at the time of my mother's death. 1) At her funeral, he said "now your wife has the family money she married you for" and 2) after we had chosen certain items to remember her by, he took the ones and had chosen and brought them to Goodwill. I was unable to get them back.

Hating someone simply burns up your energy. If your situation is at all similar to mine, they are not even affected by your hatred, so why waste your energy? Turn them over to God and separate yourself from them.

Woah, that was a very crappy thing for a brother to say. I wonder if he's older than you, if he is he's certainly not mature. I can't help but pass judgement. It's precisely those types of slights and heaps of verbal abuse that blow me away.

My love language are words of affirmation, so it's particularly painful to frequently receive this type of abuse from people who (pretend) they are someone important to me.

Thanks, your reply has actually given me a lot of peace, as have all the other replies and suggestions.

 

[Hopeful]

Long story short, I had a lot of people abuse and lie to me as a child and young adult. Now that I'm older and wiser, I can better reflect on my childhood and my 20s.

Eversince I came to understand how I was mistreated, I have had a lot of venom inside me. I feel like I could actually kill them if I saw them again.

The scripture below was on my mind Thursday evening and gave me deep peace, unfortunately the hate came back this morning. I believe Jesus is reaching out to me, but my eyes are blinded.

Luke 6 verses 22 & 23.

22 Blessed are you when people hate you,
when they exclude you and insult you
and reject your name as evil,
because of the Son of Man.

23 “Rejoice in that day and leap for joy, because great is your reward in heaven. For that is how their ancestors treated the prophets.

The peace I felt was due to the awareness that people never, ever receive a "payoff" for abusing someone. There's nothing in it for them, but it's possible for the targets/victims to receive compensation in many forms.

I truly believe God wants to give back to those who were mistreated and stolen from. Just like when he made Joseph king after his own brothers betrayed him. The prodigal son was rewarded once he returned from a life of debauchery.

I feel their sins have turned my heart to stone. I hate these abusers with so much fury it bugs me all day. I feel so traumatized, but I know I am capable of doing better. I'm so stuck. I'm glad these people aren't in my life anymore because I don't know what I would do.

This scripture worries me:

1 John 3:15 Anyone who hates a brother or sister is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life residing in him.

I know this particular verse is about me. There's no denying it. I have no idea how to properly respond to the traumas I've experienced. God has delivered me from a lot of bothersome habits, but this hate has me knocked down. How does one go about getting rid of hate for others? Thanks for reading

The best thing to do is quit hating them.
Pray they change, and stay away from them until they do.
To continue hating someone for years after an incident just gives them free rent in your head.
May God bless your efforts to rid yourself of the anchor-chains of past hate.
It is the past.

BTW, welcome to the site.

 

[Dorothy Mae]

Long story short, I had a lot of people abuse and lie to me as a child and young adult. Now that I'm older and wiser, I can better reflect on my childhood and my 20s.

Eversince I came to understand how I was mistreated, I have had a lot of venom inside me. I feel like I could actually kill them if I saw them again.

The scripture below was on my mind Thursday evening and gave me deep peace, unfortunately the hate came back this morning. I believe Jesus is reaching out to me, but my eyes are blinded.

Luke 6 verses 22 & 23.

22 Blessed are you when people hate you,
when they exclude you and insult you
and reject your name as evil,
because of the Son of Man.

23 “Rejoice in that day and leap for joy, because great is your reward in heaven. For that is how their ancestors treated the prophets.

The peace I felt was due to the awareness that people never, ever receive a "payoff" for abusing someone. There's nothing in it for them, but it's possible for the targets/victims to receive compensation in many forms.

I truly believe God wants to give back to those who were mistreated and stolen from. Just like when he made Joseph king after his own brothers betrayed him. The prodigal son was rewarded once he returned from a life of debauchery.

I feel their sins have turned my heart to stone. I hate these abusers with so much fury it bugs me all day. I feel so traumatized, but I know I am capable of doing better. I'm so stuck. I'm glad these people aren't in my life anymore because I don't know what I would do.

This scripture worries me:

1 John 3:15 Anyone who hates a brother or sister is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life residing in him.

I know this particular verse is about me. There's no denying it. I have no idea how to properly respond to the traumas I've experienced. God has delivered me from a lot of bothersome habits, but this hate has me knocked down. How does one go about getting rid of hate for others? Thanks for reading

If you want to be forgiven of your sins you must forgive those who abused you. That is why your heart has turned to stern. You engage in hate of people. This choice puts you in the enemy's hands.

 

[WIP]

If you want to be forgiven of your sins you must forgive those who abused you. That is why your heart has turned to stern. You engage in hate of people. This choice puts you in the enemy's hands.

There's also this...

14 “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."
Matthew 6:14 NKJV

25 “And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses.
26 But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive your trespasses.”
Mark 11:25-26 NKJV

 

[Dorothy Mae]

There's also this...

14 “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."
Matthew 6:14 NKJV

25 “And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses.
26 But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive your trespasses.”
Mark 11:25-26 NKJV

Yes, Those are excellent verses explaining the seriousness of this forgiving others matter. Its actually a command that we forgive and the consequences of refusing to do so are clearly laid out.

These are good examples of the straight talking Jesus engaged in. Very simple, if you refuse to forgive others, God won’t forgive you. No “God understands your feelings so don’t worry if you don’t obey” as though God understanding feelings means it’s ok. God understands the Devil’s feelings.

What you might do is ask God to show you the hurt you’ve done to others that you are blind to. When we see the evil in us and how we’ve hurt others, it’s easier to forgive others the wrong they do.

 

[Who Me]

you must forgive

Theology that does not accommodate all that the bible teaches on a subject is false theology.

How does God forgive?
Only on the repentance of the sinner.
Look at the sacrificial system, look at how God dealt with a rebellious Israel,
Look at how Jesus prayed on the cross.
He prayed Father forgive them, not I forgive them.
Yet he forgave the repentant thief.

Every n t verse about forgiveness is written with the Jewish background of repentance in order to receive forgiveness.

In fact there is only one time we Must forgive and that is when an offender repents.

 

[Dorothy Mae]

Theology that does not accommodate all that the bible teaches on a subject is false theology.

You mean like theology that leaves out the bit that requires us to forgive?

How does God forgive?
Only on the repentance of the sinner.
Look at the sacrificial system, look at how God dealt with a rebellious Israel,
Look at how Jesus prayed on the cross.
He prayed Father forgive them, not I forgive them.
Yet he forgave the repentant thief.

And? You realize that the thief had already forgiven those who put him there, right?

Every n t verse about forgiveness is written with the Jewish background of repentance in order to receive forgiveness.

And? Do you think forgiving others is unnecessary?

In fact there is only one time we Must forgive and that is when an offender repents.

That’s not what Jesus said. The Lord’s prayer actually asks God to forgive us the same as we forgive.

 

[Christ_empowered]

Ok

A cousin advised that I pray and learn to DO forgiveness. Doing forgiveness is an active process and it depends on Jesus because true forgiveness is not always possible in the flesh anyway. As with many commands from Jesus fulfilling our obligations will require less of each believer more Jesus.

 

[Hopeful]

Theology that does not accommodate all that the bible teaches on a subject is false theology.

How does God forgive?
Only on the repentance of the sinner.
Look at the sacrificial system, look at how God dealt with a rebellious Israel,
Look at how Jesus prayed on the cross.
He prayed Father forgive them, not I forgive them.
Yet he forgave the repentant thief.

Every n t verse about forgiveness is written with the Jewish background of repentance in order to receive forgiveness.

In fact there is only one time we Must forgive and that is when an offender repents.

We can forgive even if they don't repent.
Thanks be to God.

 

[WIP]

Personally, I think to withhold forgiveness simply because the other person has not repented is foolish and serves only as an excuse to go on hating or seeking vengeance.

 

[Dorothy Mae]

Personally, I think to withhold forgiveness simply because the other person has not repented is foolish and serves only as an excuse to go on hating or seeking vengeance.

It is like drinking poison hoping that by doing so the other party will die.

 

[daninthelionsden]

Forgiving does not mean you have to continue in the relationship. Forgiving merely means you write of the debt they owe you, whether financial, emotional, physical or spiritual. Just write it off and say out loud "You owe me nothing." Then pray for them from your heart. Walk away from unrepentent people. Let all plans and fantasies of vengence go. Let God have them. Then pray for yourself for healing. You may have to this this daily and then let time go by.