WHAT MAKES A GOOD MARRIAGE?

[GodsGrace]

A good marriage is made when each spouse seeks to please his/her mate before their selves.

I agree that this is a very important ingredient.
It shows that each person is not selfish.
I find that when 2 selfish persons marry, it cannot last too long.
When each one thinks only of themselves, it make the spouse feel ignored and lonely and not loved.

 

[GodsGrace]

Just jumping in…

From my observations it seems that being dedicated to the marriage itself is necessary. The sun is greater than its parts I think …

I'd call this the big C word....commitment.

Commitment must be a conscious ideal and will help get through difficult times.
And they will come...

 

[GodsGrace]

In my opinion, a good marriage is he result of being good at relationships in general. Poor relationship skills as a child makes for poor marriages. Marriage is the consequence of a good relationship.

Can't deny this.
I do believe, however, that a child can grow up and grow out of his short-comings.
It depends on a lot of things, so we should never be judgmental.

 

[GodsGrace]

But your solution in the OP was reverence and unconditional love?
Is that sufficient for marriage?
Same sex or otherwise.

I asked different questions.
I'd say, yes, reverence is a good quality.
As to unconditional love, I don't really believe it exists.
And I don't believe in SSM and this thread is not turning into a discussion on that.

 

[GodsGrace]

When my wife meets Christ in me and I meet Christ in her, our marriage is a wonderful thing. But when its only me that my wife encounters, well, foolishness, selfishness and sin are likely to follow. I pray daily that I would be a "vessel sanctified and meet for the Master's use," a man in whom Christ is clearly manifested, and when I am, my marriage is one of peace, joy and love. (Romans 8:29; 2 Corinthians 4:7-11; Galatians 5:22-23)

I'm not sure what "unconditional love" means. God's love is not "unconditional"; He hates sin and will judge and punish all sinners who die unrepentant in their sin (Romans 2:4-11; John 3:36). He lays down the condition of trust in Christ as a necessary predicate for relationship with Himself (John 3:16; John 14:6; Romans 10:9-10; Acts 4:12). He commands that we love Him with all of our being (Matthew 22:36-38; 1 Corinthians 13:1-3). He requires that we be holy (Hebrews 12:14; Matthew 5:48; 1 Peter 3:10-12).

I agree Tenchi.
There's no such thing as unconditional love.
Right,,,even God has conditions.

 

[Paul Timothy]

I asked different questions.
I'd say, yes, reverence is a good quality.
As to unconditional love, I don't really believe it exists.
And I don't believe in SSM and this thread is not turning into a discussion on that.

WHAT IS SSM?
What sort of weird sex thing are you talking about now????

 

[GodsGrace]

WHAT IS SSM?
What sort of weird sex thing are you talking about now????

Same Sex Marriage.
And you should read what I write and stop responding to statements I did not write.
This is why I have difficulty speaking to you.

 

[Paul Timothy]

Same Sex Marriage.
And you should read what I write and stop responding to statements I did not write.
This is why I have difficulty speaking to you.

You are the one making confusing statements.
I read everything you post to me... or I will tell you I didn't.
I think you have difficulty speaking to me because of your issues.
I have no difficulty in speaking with you.
So why are you not able to present your ideas to me... or feel you are not able to communicate clearly.

 

[Christ_empowered]

Wow

So…the topic of quality marriage..,

 

[Paul Timothy]

Wow

So…the topic of quality marriage..,

Really this is a continuation of a previous post about can you be friends with God.

 

[hawkman]

If you can laugh with your spouse in the good times and the bad times .
If you can look past your spouse's short comings and problems . Why is this important , because you have just as many if not more short comings and problems .

 

[jasonc]

If you can laugh with your spouse in the good times and the bad times .
If you can look past your spouse's short comings and problems . Why is this important , because you have just as many if not more short comings and problems .

Foibles

 

[GodsGrace]

If you can laugh with your spouse in the good times and the bad times .
If you can look past your spouse's short comings and problems . Why is this important , because you have just as many if not more short comings and problems .

Terrific Hawkman!
I think bringing up past problems during the discussion of a current problem is very bad indeed.
What about forgiving?
And Jesus said to remove our log first before worrying about the other's splinter.

 

[Jethro Bodine]

I agree Tenchi.
There's no such thing as unconditional love.
Right,,,even God has conditions.

God's desire is for the wellbeing of everybody. That is unconditional. He does not show favoritism.

What is conditional is dwelling in the benefits and privileges of his love and care.

 

[Jethro Bodine]

but thought a man's perspective is also necessary since they contribute 50% to the marriage.

50%?

Since when?
I did not get this memo.

 

[Vaccine]

Can't deny this.
I do believe, however, that a child can grow up and grow out of his short-comings.
It depends on a lot of things, so we should never be judgmental.

True, children can grow out of their short-comings but it's exceptional.
A lot of people never learned how to relate to the opposite sex. They see marriage as transactional or a mutually beneficial agreement.
Me and my wife came didn't have much in common. But we could relate to one another and enjoyed each others company. We were unequally yoked but I eventually became a Christian.
Reading Chapman's 5 Love Languages improved our marriage but we already had a good foundation of relating to one another prior to reading it.

 

[Niblo]

Why is this important , because you have just as many if not more short comings and problems .

Moi???

 

[jasonc]

50%?

Since when?
I did not get this memo.

Ralph in his wisdom told her that .

Blame him

 

[Free]

??? what's that (AVX)

Anti-vax.

 

[jasonc]

Hmmm... well, getting along is good for a marriage but I will grant that fighting, arguing, etc. is not boring. Setting yourself aflame is also not boring, but I don't recommend it.
Two cannot walk together unless they are agreed.

Free Will and the limited free Will bonding together,lol.