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Who ever gets the last Word

Responding to Vince's friendly invitation, his three friends book plane reservations to Lake Chapala. Picking them up at the Guadalajara Airport, Vince drives them to the beautiful lake, where a group of Baptists are waiting for them. It is a warm, sunny, Mexican day, and then...
 
Vince said:
Responding to Vince's friendly invitation, his three friends book plane reservations to Lake Chapala. Picking them up at the Guadalajara Airport, Vince drives them to the beautiful lake, where a group of Baptists are waiting for them. It is a warm, sunny, Mexican day, and then...
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story time :)
 
Vince said:
Hmmm.

Nick, Theofilus, and L'Chante.

Here in the Gringo Zone we have Lake Chapala, a lake so large that it actually appears on globes and world maps. I would like to invite all three of you to come visit us. Then, we'll round up a bunch of Christians go down to the lake, and...
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...get baptised! (you're a baptist, aren't you, Vince? :D)
 
"The first thing we need to do," explains Vince, "is sing 'Shall We Gather at the River." "But I don't know the words," complained L'Chante. "No problem," Vince explained. "The people who don't know the words simply wade out into the lake..."
 
Vince said:
"The first thing we need to do," explains Vince, "is sing 'Shall We Gather at the River." "But I don't know the words," complained L'Chante. "No problem," Vince explained. "The people who don't know the words simply wade out into the lake..."
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I hate to nit-pick, but this particular nit is pretty big. This isn't a river, but a lake. Shouldn't we be singing a song about a lake? Besides, I've already been baptized 3 times, so I think I'll pass.
 
As L'Chante wades out into the water, Theofilus points out that this is actually a lake, not a river. "It's okay," Vince explains, "it's a fifty-five mile long lake that actually appears on globes and world maps. So now we all need to sing 'Shall We Gather at the River.'"

"But I still don't know the words!" L'Chante exclaims. "No problem," answers Vince. "If you don't know the words, you just hold your breath. And most people close their eyes." L'Chante agrees, the crowd starts singing, and then...
 
Shouldn't we be singing a song about lakes like, for example, Into the Lake of Ghosts by My Dying Bride or Lake of Fire by Nirvana?

*Theo starts singing Lake of Fire

Where do bad folks go when they die
They don't go to heaven where the angels fly
Go to a lake of fire and fry
See them again 'till the Fourth of July
 
I can sing something more religious, in keeping with the spirit of the event.

*Theo starts singing Born Again by Black Sabbath

Look at this prince of evil
fighting for your mind
fighting all the priests of shame
For the thrust of my challenge is aimed
at the hearts of mutant gods
who think we're all the same
They're controlling our minds
and they use us for fortune and fame

As you look through my window
deep into my room
at your future and freedom
the grey and plastic retards all floating in circles
And as you taste the fruits of new sensations
softly brushing your lips
as we rise when we challenge and kill

Born again
You'll be born again
 
Suddenly, L'Chante finds herself under water. But up above, she sees light, and suddenly she is out of the water again.

"Wow!" she exclaims as she wades to shore. "I feel like I've just re-enacted the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus Christ!"
 
Vince said:
Suddenly, L'Chante finds herself under water. But up above, she sees light, and suddenly she is out of the water again.

"Wow!" she exclaims as she wades to shore. "I feel like I've just re-enacted the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus Christ!"
Click to expand...

But you went completely under. The movie Jesus of Nazareth clearly showed that, for a baptism to be valid, the baptizer and baptizee both have to be standing waist-deep in a river and the baptizer has to take some water with his hands and pour it over the head of the baptizee. That's how John (the baptizer) baptized Jesus.
 
Theofilus, a Godly man who does not understand that the word "baptize" means "immerse," is now approached by some Mexican Baptists. The only word he can understand is "Iceland." Vince explains that they are asking him about the Icelandic springs that come up in Lake Chapala. "Anyone who stands in these springs immediately becomes a true Icelander," Vince explains. "They want you to walk out into the Icelandic springs of Lake Chapala."

"Wow!" thinks Theofilus, as he wades into the lake. "They never taught me this in the Lutheran church." And then...
 
Theofilus strides into the lake, and with some unexpected assistance from Vince, goes under. "I feel like I really needed that," Theofilus explains, "but I can't figure out why."

"It is clear to me," Vince answers, "that something happens to a Christian at baptism, but the Bible isn't clear on what. Your sins are taken away only by faith in Christ, not by baptism. Every child of God is immersed into Christ, even if they are not immersed in water. Every act of obedience helps you grow in grace, but there is something special about baptism."
 
As vince is trying to push Theo under, Theo protests loudly saying "I am not going to be baptized for the 4th time!" He forces Vince under instead and is out of the lake and on his way back to Iceland before Vince has figured out what happened.

(Try to tell the story right next time, Vince.)
 
*Theo walks off singing the theme song of Gilligan's Island. (It's the only song about islands I know)

Now, sit right down and you'll hear a tale
a tale of a fatefull trip,Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale,
A tale of a fateful trip
That started from this tropic port
Aboard this tiny ship.

The mate was a mighty sailing man,
The skipper brave and sure.
Five passengers set sail that day
For a three hour tour, a three hour tour.

The weather started getting rough,
The tiny ship was tossed,
If not for the courage of the fearless crew
The minnow would be lost, the minnow would be lost.

The ship set ground on the shore of this uncharted desert isle
With Gilligan
The Skipper too,
The millionaire and his wife,
The movie star
The professor and Mary Ann,
Here on Gilligans Isle.
 
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