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Why are men so cruel?

Riniel

Riniel

Member
Men are such jerks.... I met a guy a month and a half ago, (he's a "christian") and after we met he was acting strange and not talking to me. He acted like I wasn't what he expected. So, I asked him about it and he told me that he did like me, blah blah blah.... After we met, he wouldn't talk to me and I was always the one initiating contact. So, I decided to give him space for a month, I was thinking maybe he would talk to me at least once in this month period, but he didn't and I found out today that he likes someone else, and even worse is in a relationship with her. I even asked him to tell me the truth when all this first happened, and tell me if he wasn't interested in me, or if he didn't want to talk anymore and he lied to me and said that he was interested in me and still wanted to talk to me. Well, obviously this guy is a flake, and while he was forgetting about me he was going out with other girls. I don't understand what is so hard for a guy to tell someone that they are not interested in them. I wish I had never met him. I believe that everything happens for a reason, and I know God wanted me to meet this person, but I don't know why. There was no reason in meeting this guy, unless it was to be rejected. If that was the reason, that seems like a cruel way for God to bring this person into my life.

Why does this always happen to me? It makes me cry every time a man lies to me and tells me he likes me, then I find out that he didn't really like me and was going out with other people.
 
I know how upset you are about this problem. I am deeply sorry for the embarrassment. God will always send you the right person. It is a kind of journey where you see all sorts of people. The journey has an end - you will get to that end.

It is better that it happened this way, and you were able to figure out the cunningness in him - than you bonded with him and later find out he's the wrong guy.
 
Riniel,

You mean this has happened to you a number of times ? That seems to be a rather odd evil pattern. To say that men are such "jerks" and "cruel" is quite an over-generalization and broad stereotype.

But I perfectly understand your outrage and disappointment with not only men but also with God. I too used to label men as "useless", "losers" and "fake". I too thought all men are jerks and morons. By my own words, I got myself entangled in a cycle of broken and betrayed relationships. Read Matthew 12:37 - "For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned."

Somebody pointed out to me my mistake and I repented and had the bondage and curse broken. I'm not saying you're under a curse - certainly I'm in no position to conclude that, but just saying that could be a possibility, to which you could also break yourself free from this vicious cycle of two-timing betraying men.

I believe a breakthrough in healthy relationships to going to take root in your life once you abandon your negative perceptions about men in general and also cease blaming God for the problems.

God bless and I will be praying for you.
 
Tina said:
I believe a breakthrough in healthy relationships to going to take root in your life once you abandon your negative perceptions about men in general and also cease blaming God for the problems.

God bless and I will be praying for you.
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Thanks for the piece of advice.:wave
 
Riniel said:
Men are such jerks.... I met a guy a month and a half ago, (he's a "christian") and after we met he was acting strange and not talking to me. He acted like I wasn't what he expected. So, I asked him about it and he told me that he did like me, blah blah blah.... After we met, he wouldn't talk to me and I was always the one initiating contact. So, I decided to give him space for a month, I was thinking maybe he would talk to me at least once in this month period, but he didn't and I found out today that he likes someone else, and even worse is in a relationship with her. I even asked him to tell me the truth when all this first happened, and tell me if he wasn't interested in me, or if he didn't want to talk anymore and he lied to me and said that he was interested in me and still wanted to talk to me. Well, obviously this guy is a flake, and while he was forgetting about me he was going out with other girls. I don't understand what is so hard for a guy to tell someone that they are not interested in them. I wish I had never met him. I believe that everything happens for a reason, and I know God wanted me to meet this person, but I don't know why. There was no reason in meeting this guy, unless it was to be rejected. If that was the reason, that seems like a cruel way for God to bring this person into my life.

Why does this always happen to me? It makes me cry every time a man lies to me and tells me he likes me, then I find out that he didn't really like me and was going out with other people.
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i have had women do this to me.we are all jerks and mean, and selfish.

its by god grace theres anything good in us.
 
i have been hurt bad by women.

my wife said what riniel has said to me. not that i have been that way to her but well i dont love my wife as i ought to:sad

theres always more to be done for the wife.

that said... i have been hurt by women a few times myself.it seems that when i nice to woman they would hurt me and leave me and go for the abusers. its then when i began to see if i drew those types.its seems that i have that tendency.
 
jasoncran said:
it seems that when i nice to woman they would hurt me and leave me and go for the abusers. its then when i began to see if i drew those types.its seems that i have that tendency.
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There's truth in it. When at times he/she pretends he/she doesn't need them you notice him/her attracted to him/her.
 
Eph 6:12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.

The battle between the sexes lessens as we draw closer to the Lord.
 
Why? For the same reason women can be so cruel...hormones. Plain and simple.

That's why it's important for both you and the person you choose to be with to master the desires of biological flesh in order to have a successful and fulfilling relationship with each other. That's what being in Christ is all about. The more mature a person becomes in Christ, the more power they have over the natural desires of human flesh and can stop hurting other people in the fulfillment of those desires. Only be with a person who understands this and is committed to doing that.
 
Men are such jerks.
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Hey, I resemble that remark! :D

Seriously, though, I understand what you're feeling. I think it goes both ways. Lack of security will prompt us to not share our true feelings and we incorrectly assume that doing nothing is better than facing the truth. This carries over into our spiritual life as well. We can't change others but we can have some control how we react to others. All you can do is learn to move on in your life.

Hope you can put this behind you...again...and get back on the horse of life.
 
Most relationships are not balanced. One or the other of you care more, love more or give more and usually end up hurting more. The gender is irrelevant.

Without mutual love, respect, care, etc (depending on the stage of the relationship) there will always be problems. It is only when YOU desire to make their life better and THEY desire to make your life better that it really works.
 
Riniel said:
Men are such jerks....
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The world is full of awful people. I seem to be able to find the WORST of the female gender without even trying.

Men can be jerks, but for an example of cruelty or the using of another person to settle one's own emotional needs - you really need only look at "the fairer sex".
 
First off, I want to say that the reason I said "men" is because I'm not a lesbian and I'm not into women. I'm heterosexual. So, me saying "women are such jerks" and proceeded into talking about relationships would come off as though I'm a lesbian.... lol.

Anyway, I am fully aware that women can be just as manipulating, and evil as men. However, like I said, I'm not into women, I'm into men, so I'm going to voice my frustrations against dating men, not women.

I have had female friends that have made me angry, and I've asked other people why women are such witches... But because this is not about my female friends, and this is about a guy, I thought it appropriate to vent about why this one particular guy is a jerk. I couldn't say, "why is this one guy a jerk?" because then people would tell me that they don't know him, so they can't say why he's a jerk. So, I just made it a broad statement not actually meaning that ALL men are jerks. I've met some very nice guys who are not jerks, then I am sad because they are usually already married, or taken.

Also Tina, I am not blaming anything on God. I said, if the reason why I met this person was to be rejected it seems like a cruel way for God to bring this person into my life. I don't know if that was the reason, so therefore I am not blaming God. I am just simply stating that it seems cruel if that was the reason. Maybe there was another reason entirely for God bringing this person into my life. However, I told him that I don't want to talk to him anymore, so he is not in my life anymore.

This has happened to me a couple other times with other men. They meet me in person, and I'm not what they expected, so they don't talk to me anymore. This guy that I am writing about did not break my heart, he was not "two-timing" on me. I just simply had an interest in him, and thought it was mutual. I would be psycho if I was "in love" with him after meeting him once, and only knowing him for a month. I feel that relationships take a long time to get to know someone, and I don't believe in rushing into a relationship. I believe that people should be friends first and get to know one another, then after being friends for a while the possibility of a relationship would be there.

I don't want people to think that I hate men, and say that every single one is a jerk and a moron and an idiot. I have found that a lot of them are not very nice, and it's nearly impossible to find your soul mate with the first person you date. I don't believe that when a guy upsets me and I think he's a jerk that God has me under a curse. I don't think that about every guy I meet. I only think that about the guys who are mean to me, or lie to me.
 
its said we learn by the bad relationship so that when we do find the person we know them and will cherish them.
 
Riniel said:
Men are such jerks.... I met a guy a month and a half ago, (he's a "christian") and after we met he was acting strange and not talking to me. He acted like I wasn't what he expected. So, I asked him about it and he told me that he did like me, blah blah blah.... After we met, he wouldn't talk to me and I was always the one initiating contact. So, I decided to give him space for a month, I was thinking maybe he would talk to me at least once in this month period, but he didn't and I found out today that he likes someone else, and even worse is in a relationship with her. I even asked him to tell me the truth when all this first happened, and tell me if he wasn't interested in me, or if he didn't want to talk anymore and he lied to me and said that he was interested in me and still wanted to talk to me. Well, obviously this guy is a flake, and while he was forgetting about me he was going out with other girls. I don't understand what is so hard for a guy to tell someone that they are not interested in them. I wish I had never met him. I believe that everything happens for a reason, and I know God wanted me to meet this person, but I don't know why. There was no reason in meeting this guy, unless it was to be rejected. If that was the reason, that seems like a cruel way for God to bring this person into my life.
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More likely God is trying to help you grow up.
Why does this always happen to me? It makes me cry every time a man lies to me and tells me he likes me, then I find out that he didn't really like me and was going out with other people.
Click to expand...
 
When I read the OP, I just had the impression that he wimped out and didn't have the maturity to be up front and honest. I could be wrong, but it didn't sound from your post that he was trying to string you along. :shrug

This would just make him an immature wimp, if you ask me.
 
Riniel said:
Men are such jerks.... I met a guy a month and a half ago, (he's a "christian") and after we met he was acting strange and not talking to me. He acted like I wasn't what he expected. So, I asked him about it and he told me that he did like me, blah blah blah.... After we met, he wouldn't talk to me and I was always the one initiating contact. So, I decided to give him space for a month, I was thinking maybe he would talk to me at least once in this month period, but he didn't and I found out today that he likes someone else, and even worse is in a relationship with her. I even asked him to tell me the truth when all this first happened, and tell me if he wasn't interested in me, or if he didn't want to talk anymore and he lied to me and said that he was interested in me and still wanted to talk to me. Well, obviously this guy is a flake, and while he was forgetting about me he was going out with other girls. I don't understand what is so hard for a guy to tell someone that they are not interested in them. I wish I had never met him. I believe that everything happens for a reason, and I know God wanted me to meet this person, but I don't know why. There was no reason in meeting this guy, unless it was to be rejected. If that was the reason, that seems like a cruel way for God to bring this person into my life.

Why does this always happen to me? It makes me cry every time a man lies to me and tells me he likes me, then I find out that he didn't really like me and was going out with other people.
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You want I should bash in his skull?:chair

Seirously though it is sad that SOME "men" cant just tell the truth when it comes to this. It sounds like he was "trying to play the field" but you caught him with his hands in the cookie jar and didnt know what to do. And like any scared little child(cause thats what he is) he lied thinking that would cover up being caught red handed.:wall Why must all dingdongs make life more difficult for the few guys trying to do the right thing?

On that note I'm gonna leave you with something that helps me when (edited by staff) like this happens. They aint worth my time. :clap:clap:clap:clap
 
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Trust me, this loser is not worth the time. I wouldn't even want to go out with him now that he did what he did. If he ever messages me ever again, (which I don't think he will) I wouldn't give him the time of day.
 
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