Why Do Other Christians Blame Those With Chronic Illness?

[Luminous_Rose]

Where does this idea even come from?

Why do other Christians blame people with chronic illness by saying, "You're in sin!" or, "This was an act of God!" or, "You've been smited by God!"

These things are so immensely hurtful. I'm at a point right now where I'm so fed up, I almost don't want to be church-going Christian anymore. I'm about to give up on church, I don't want to be with people like that...I know the God's truth, but I'm so tired of people and their ridiculous ideations of chronic illness = sin.

Being a chronic illness sufferer since I was a child, what could I have possibly done to deserve a life long illness?

I was talking to my own mother today. My husband and I had a friend that made a lifestyle choice that goes against Christian belief and God's word. He ended up with the same type of health issue I do and was having problems here and there and was more recently hospitalized. My husband and I reached out, made sure he was okay, if he needed anything. I feel for my friend...even though they have made horrible choices...I still care because I know what it's like...he also had an issue with this in his teenage years, but it was a one-time thing and it was considered a one time stress induced problem by doctors, but now with all the stress he's had at work, the odd hours, the lack of sleep, not drinking or eating enough at work, etc. have all brought this to the surface. When my own mom said, "Maybe it was an act of God..." I froze a moment...my own mother here...I have the same type of health problem...what am I then?

Christians, Catholics, whatever you are - if you think like this then shame on you! You are chasing people out of churches calling their chronic illness a sin! You are making them feel unwelcome and unforgiven. You are making them feel weak and less superior. You are diminishing the little hope they may have walking into that church building onto to receive lashings of hateful words that leave deep-rooted scars.

Chronic illness means more than, "I have _________."

For many, it can mean lack of motivation, lack of energy, being in constant pain (emotionally, physically, mentally), having to skip out on things you really wanted to go to, being trash talked by people who don't get it, being accused of telling lies and faking illness, being alone in a hospital room sometimes with no one coming to see you, feeling a loss of control over your life, not being able to chase your dream career.

Ordinarily, I would be at church if I could be there, but what am I supposed to do when I'm sick every weekend because the week is jam packed with stress? Deal with the fact that I must be a liar because clearly no one misses a month or two of church for that many Sundays in a row.

If I could get better I would, but instead? "Try this herb! Try this technique! Try this exercise! You don't have to take medication forever!" Honestly, I'm all for holistic when it's necessary and effective and for my condition, these things might reduce symptoms, but it's not a cure. What do you do when you're a danger to yourself or others if you're not on medication and have a problem? Well, you stick with the program and feel guilt that you have to put pills in your mouth every time you exhale before that drink of water to swallow the poison down.

For those that spout at me, "God will heal you!" Well, you know. I'm standing here...waiting. I've been waiting for 23 years already...and believe me I have asked, I have pleaded, I have cried, I have been sincere...the answer has been, "No."

I try hard to be in the best mood possible for others, to forget I have health issues when they don't interfere with the small, simple things. It's exhausting! Sometimes I don't try and let my weary face show because I'm tired. When you ask me, "Is everything okay?" and then walk away from me when I say, "No." I feel incredibly special, so loved, and totally welcome...not.

I might be able to get out Saturday because I feel good enough to push myself to go out. I know getting out does me good. If you see me perfectly healthy on Saturday, but I don't come in on Sunday, don't crucify me and call me a liar. My issues can flare up and anytime, without notice, without my consent, and I can be bedridden for days....literally. I know the details of my life, most others do not know what it takes for me to get through each day, and to stand there and be criticized for trying is beyond outrageous.

Just because I have health issues doesn't mean I don't believe in God, but the way other Christians see me and other people in general sure does make me struggle more than anyone knows...

I'm suffering...my body fails me...I hurt every day...why must people be so critical when I'm trying so hard?

 

[D-D-W]

Where does this idea even come from?
Why do other Christians blame people with chronic illness by saying, "You're in sin!" or, "This was an act of God!" or, "You've been smited by God!"

Read the book of Job. It has been around for millenia.

 

[Luminous_Rose]

Read the book of Job. It has been around for millenia.

I have, many times, but it doesn't answer my question on why people can be such jerks. I know people are capable of being offensive to others, but seriously, why? -_- I think people separate chronic illness away from Job as his was temporary and not a lifelong type situation.

 

[Prycejosh1987]

Illnesses have different factors. God ordains what Satan does. God commits no evil and has no sins. Sin causes illness and death. Sometimes its from poor living, lack of good health responsibility, or personal choices, or it can be from heritage. In any case an illness is always overcome with the power of persistence, and faith.

 

[Luminous_Rose]

Illnesses have different factors. God ordains what Satan does. God commits no evil and has no sins. Sin causes illness and death. Sometimes its from poor living, lack of good health responsibility, or personal choices, or it can be from heritage. In any case an illness is always overcome with the power of persistence, and faith.

In what way do you mean that, "God ordains what Satan does?"

Yes, a fallen world itself has introduced illness with that. While there are many causes for various illnesses, not everyone has a direct answer as to "why".

I believe God is "The Great Physician," but I also believe that his answer to me must be, "No."

Why else would I sit around praying for healing, pouring my soul in studying The Holy Bible, giving it all to God, and creating a life dedicated for 23 years and then it never comes?

 

[evenifigoalone]

Adding onto your lament, while I am not physically chronically ill, I deal with chronic mental illness. In general I definitely find Christians are the least understanding and the least compassionate.

While I'm open about my mental health here, because I want to smash the stigma surrounding it, I don't share my worst moments because I find that the people on this site say things that are very unhelpful. Lately I've been not actively suicidal and not in any danger of harming myself, but with some level of suicidal ideation all the same. I don't want to die but I don't want to live either. I have summer seasonal depression and it seems to be especially strong right now. (Not necessarily at this moment, but just in general of late.)

 

[christian1724]

In general I definitely find Christians are the least understanding and the least compassionate.

Do you really find Christians to definitely be the least compassionate and understanding? And would you say they aren't really Christians or that they are really Christians?

 

[evenifigoalone]

Do you really find Christians to definitely be the least compassionate and understanding? And would you say they aren't really Christians or that they are really Christians?

They're definitely Christians, but they're also very human and prone to human biases.
Just in general I find that when it comes to things they do not understand or have not personally experienced they don't have helpful things to say and often have harmful things to say, they just don't realize it. Mental illness involving things like depression is one thing many struggle to understand, because everyone feels depressed once in a while, or during particularly stressful periods. But that's different than living with chronic depression that doesn't go away or that may last most of one's lifetime. Or those who feel that they have been healed from depression or other mental illness often take the attitude that their case must apply to everyone and everyone will be healed if they only do this or that.

I'm fortunate that the church I attend recognizes mental illness as actual illness. I shared my depression with the church last night during prayer meeting and was met with much compassion.

 

[christian1724]

They're definitely Christians, but they're also very human and prone to human biases.
Just in general I find that when it comes to things they do not understand or have not personally experienced they don't have helpful things to say and often have harmful things to say, they just don't realize it.

I'll be the first to admit that self-identifying Christians don't do a very good job of following the standard for Christianity (assuming, of course, that Christ Himself sets that standard).

But don't all people, 'in a general sense', suffer from these shortcomings that you mention. Aren't all people prone to being human and having biases or is it that the Christians have an extra measure of compassion and understanding removed from them due to the effect that their religious beliefs have on them?

I always thought in the back of my mind that the more successful a person is at emulating Jesus the more honesty, understanding and compassion they display, not less.

It's getting very trendy to disparage those who seek to emulate Christ.

Thank you for sharing the reasons for your remarks.

 

[evenifigoalone]

I'll be the first to admit that self-identifying Christians don't do a very good job of following the standard for Christianity (assuming, of course, that Christ Himself sets that standard).

But don't all people, 'in a general sense', suffer from these shortcomings that you mention. Aren't all people prone to being human and having biases or is it that the Christians have an extra measure of compassion and understanding removed from them due to the effect that their religious beliefs have on them?

I always thought in the back of my mind that the more successful a person is at emulating Jesus the more honesty, understanding and compassion they display, not less.

It's getting very trendy to disparage those who seek to emulate Christ.

Thank you for sharing the reasons for your remarks.

Yes, mental illness is a topic that even still has lots and lots of stigma, Christian or not. Especially when you go beyond depression and anxiety into "more severe" disorders. But it is my experience that Christians tend to be behind the times when it comes to such knowledge and will cling to incorrect ways of thinking.

 

[jerry63935]

Why do other Christians blame people with chronic illness by saying, "You're in sin!" or, "This was an act of God!" or, "You've been smited by God!"

lack of gray matter

 

[Luminous_Rose]

Adding onto your lament, while I am not physically chronically ill, I deal with chronic mental illness. In general I definitely find Christians are the least understanding and the least compassionate.

While I'm open about my mental health here, because I want to smash the stigma surrounding it, I don't share my worst moments because I find that the people on this site say things that are very unhelpful. Lately I've been not actively suicidal and not in any danger of harming myself, but with some level of suicidal ideation all the same. I don't want to die but I don't want to live either. I have summer seasonal depression and it seems to be especially strong right now. (Not necessarily at this moment, but just in general of late.)

I hear you on the "least compassionate/understanding" as far as the Christian community goes.

I feel like it's embarrassing how churches deal with those that are chronically ill sometimes.

Not only that, but I remember there being suicides as far as church members go and the ones that have passed on in this manner, they never seemed in any way, shape, or form depressed. I always wonder if they were ever chased off from getting the right help, or if they were too afraid to open up about their depression and if the whole thing could've been prevented with the appropriate help...

Anyway, there are a lot of stigma's with chronic illness among people in general. I want to smash the stigma, but I'm scared to do so in person...but one day, I want to get out there and do it. Tired of people being treated like garbage over something they can't help.

I hope you see better days ahead!

 

[Blade]

About blame.. if one does not know the word of God we can say do things that offend. One does not have to be sick or have some lose in your life to understand the word of God. With out faith we can not please Him. I don't know we tend to pray ask then look at our watch and? "Well nothing happened guess God does not want to heal me." So please share how does GOD now go against your will? I can quote OT NT promises but.. without faith they are just empty words. Christ was asked.. I know you can but will you, I believe but help my unbelief. Both times it was YES!

Peter and John you know that man that looked at them expecting to receive? Do you think GOD put that word in "expecting to receive something from them by chance? So what did Peter and John pray? Ever ask wonder why they never had to ask GOD JESUS to please hear us please heal this man? Jesus told them already. The same thing that is in them is in you and me. Just today we don't read about "faith" or "working your faith". See its not what I say or anyone else. Do you have some friend that when they speak you can take it to the bank? WHY not treat GOD the same or yet better? He can't lie. What if you just blindly no matter what you see or hear or feel no time clock you just believed!

What will you see? That all things are possible to them that believe. Were told if you know God hears you then you know you have the petitions you asked for. If you doubt let not that man think he will get anything from the lord. See were told to keep His word before our eyes and told to pray 24/7 about everything. Were told how to talk how to think and how to love. So how long you been doing this and working your faith? How easily are we moved by what we see hear and feel? See start small..fear pops up..NO I don't receive this fear because its written God has not given me the spirit of fear but of power love and a sound mind. Same with being sad. In that moment.. NO I have the joy of the lord..then you sing and worship Him when you don't feel like it since we walk by faith.

We live in a fallen world where the enemy has rights we get no say on that. Even Jesus said Satan is the god of this world and if this was Christs kingdom His servants would have fought. So God did give us His word and if you don't know HIs will then READ IT! Those words are not the past. He just spoke it! He is out side of time and He said His words can not come back to Him void. Yeah..what all am I saying? FAITH! I have lived this since I was like 12 or so. Save in a Baptist Church. I can show you my bibles and what I say is what I read what I learned not what someone else says. I don't quote anyone but what the word says. Only share what I know what He will do.

Talk to Him.. tell Him where you doubt why and that you need help.. THEN put faith in that.. that HE will help you will show you. The moment you started to ask HE answered but the enemy come right away to put? DOUBT in your mind. Its then YOU must make the choice. Take that thought make it yours or cast it down out in JESUS name and speak HIS word. Then don't look at time...you just KNOW He will answer. I can give you personal stories of sicknesses and family that have died. Then those that only spoke faith yet alone I heard "I don't believe God will heal me". No one ever heard that man (my kids grandpa. My moms husband my dad died she got remarried).

Those stories won't help your faith. Might make you feel better as if I can relate. Forgive me not here to relate. Your Father is GOD. Think about that. Think about Christ why He came. Just think on those.. watch what happens. Joy faith comes.. every time you truly just think on HIM! HE IS REAL. JESUS CHRIST IS REAL. You will not live a perfect life so get over it. Goof up repent do a 180 and keep going. Put HIM in every part of your life..He will not ask. But the moment you do.. oh praise GOD GLORY TO JESUS...watch out. Just have faith. I Know what time and pain feel like.. I am not moved

 

[Luminous_Rose]

About blame.. if one does not know the word of God we can say do things that offend. One does not have to be sick or have some lose in your life to understand the word of God. With out faith we can not please Him. I don't know we tend to pray ask then look at our watch and? "Well nothing happened guess God does not want to heal me." So please share how does GOD now go against your will? I can quote OT NT promises but.. without faith they are just empty words. Christ was asked.. I know you can but will you, I believe but help my unbelief. Both times it was YES!

Peter and John you know that man that looked at them expecting to receive? Do you think GOD put that word in "expecting to receive something from them by chance? So what did Peter and John pray? Ever ask wonder why they never had to ask GOD JESUS to please hear us please heal this man? Jesus told them already. The same thing that is in them is in you and me. Just today we don't read about "faith" or "working your faith". See its not what I say or anyone else. Do you have some friend that when they speak you can take it to the bank? WHY not treat GOD the same or yet better? He can't lie. What if you just blindly no matter what you see or hear or feel no time clock you just believed!

What will you see? That all things are possible to them that believe. Were told if you know God hears you then you know you have the petitions you asked for. If you doubt let not that man think he will get anything from the lord. See were told to keep His word before our eyes and told to pray 24/7 about everything. Were told how to talk how to think and how to love. So how long you been doing this and working your faith? How easily are we moved by what we see hear and feel? See start small..fear pops up..NO I don't receive this fear because its written God has not given me the spirit of fear but of power love and a sound mind. Same with being sad. In that moment.. NO I have the joy of the lord..then you sing and worship Him when you don't feel like it since we walk by faith.

We live in a fallen world where the enemy has rights we get no say on that. Even Jesus said Satan is the god of this world and if this was Christs kingdom His servants would have fought. So God did give us His word and if you don't know HIs will then READ IT! Those words are not the past. He just spoke it! He is out side of time and He said His words can not come back to Him void. Yeah..what all am I saying? FAITH! I have lived this since I was like 12 or so. Save in a Baptist Church. I can show you my bibles and what I say is what I read what I learned not what someone else says. I don't quote anyone but what the word says. Only share what I know what He will do.

Talk to Him.. tell Him where you doubt why and that you need help.. THEN put faith in that.. that HE will help you will show you. The moment you started to ask HE answered but the enemy come right away to put? DOUBT in your mind. Its then YOU must make the choice. Take that thought make it yours or cast it down out in JESUS name and speak HIS word. Then don't look at time...you just KNOW He will answer. I can give you personal stories of sicknesses and family that have died. Then those that only spoke faith yet alone I heard "I don't believe God will heal me". No one ever heard that man (my kids grandpa. My moms husband my dad died she got remarried).

Those stories won't help your faith. Might make you feel better as if I can relate. Forgive me not here to relate. Your Father is GOD. Think about that. Think about Christ why He came. Just think on those.. watch what happens. Joy faith comes.. every time you truly just think on HIM! HE IS REAL. JESUS CHRIST IS REAL. You will not live a perfect life so get over it. Goof up repent do a 180 and keep going. Put HIM in every part of your life..He will not ask. But the moment you do.. oh praise GOD GLORY TO JESUS...watch out. Just have faith. I Know what time and pain feel like.. I am not moved

Never said God went against my will, but that His answer must be, "No." Two entirely different things as far as I can see it. Sometimes the answer is, "No."

So, you're basically saying that I don't have enough faith because I'm not well? That's kind of the thing that I'm talking about here...the stigma that runs rampant in the Christian community. "Stay away from that person, they don't have that faith...what a sinner." It feels awesome when you are trying to get a grapple over the illness that you can't seem to control. When your body is fighting you every day...it's tiring...

Praying for over 20 years for healing has been what it is...and what happened? A 15 month break, no neurologist follow up, no medication, and then I get COVID and the seizures with that nearly killed me. My husband was trying to accept he may not leave that hospital with me alive and that I wouldn't be able to see the kids grew up. It does a dent to you physically, mentally, emotionally, even spiritually when people say, "You're not this or that enough/You didn't try this or that..." whatever it may be. I had that forbidden fruit for my medical condition of taking no medication and it turns around and bites me in the throat...

Doubting? What doubts? I'm struggling to hang on, but it doesn't mean I doubt that God is God or that I doubt His power. I fight with everything in me that God exists because I know that's the Truth of it.

God has answered...he's answered with hospital stays, two children seeing their mother have full blown seizures and freaked out of their minds, a poison pill (but at least it's not near as much as other epileptics have to take, I am blessed in that regard...I guess?), keeping me safe during these critical times, and that no matter what my body does to me - He will be there.

Saying that those that are chronically ill must not treat God well enough. Well, I can say I've been comforted before death...or what I thought what would be my last and I was okay with that, but here I am. Death's door wasn't ready to take me, but I miss that peace I had in those moments. Angels were ready, but God had other plans.

I can tell countless stories about how God has protected me throughout all these years. The fact I'm the age I am is quite miraculous. There were many times I've faced death, but God has kept me here. That much I know.

In Heaven, we will receive a new body, void of illness, in perfect peace and harmony with Him. It's just what I need at this point...and one day, I will get there.

Might I say that this was pure stigma gold from your post right here:

You will not live a perfect life so get over it.

Get over it...sure, I'll get over it...I'll get over all the trauma it has caused me and my loved ones...not.

You're also saying that being "sad" is not okay because we should have "joy." I've heard people say this after someone pouring their heart and soul out about almost dying in the hospital. It's the ultimate slap in the face comment. Not true. Isn't even God sometimes sad? Angry even? Saying we shouldn't be sad is just a way of dismissing deep emotions, it's not healthy.

So, what would you do if you were me? You have an illness you can't control, now what? Oh, you can't even drive a car. Now what? You can't get your dream job because of your body's limitations. Now what? You have to travel 2 hours away to see a specialist with gas prices you can't afford. Now what? You at times have convulsions in your sleep and you can't move or speak and help isn't coming. Now what? Any illness, any hormone shift and a seizure could be imminent. Now what? Coming across allergens like wheat or rice almost causes you go into a seizure (more than likely because of neurotoxic pesticides that you have no say in that are sprayed or cross-contaminated on your food). Now what? Your arm uncontrollably moves and people are staring at you. Now what? You have a best friend that gets too embarrassed to be around you and won't ever talk to you again and you are left at the lunch table by yourself. Now what? I'm curious.

 

[evenifigoalone]

My experience is that people who have experienced healing or some kind of miracle in relation to their affliction tend to think that everyone else can get the same kind of thing if only they follow the same steps they did..... I wish. I think I even had a period like this, where I had been dealing with extreme depression for a long time and one day I just felt 100% better and super joyful. I went a few years without any depression, but now here I am again, with chronic depression again. God keeping me humble.

Luminous_Rose , do you have any community of people with the same disorder that you can fellowship with? I'm in Facebook groups for Christians with the specific mental illnesses I deal with, I tend to share my lowest moments there because they are far and away more understanding than general Christian groups or this site. Some of these groups even have rules against downplaying the role of medication and promoting "faith healing".

 

[Luminous_Rose]

My experience is that people who have experienced healing or some kind of miracle in relation to their affliction tend to think that everyone else can get the same kind of thing if only they follow the same steps they did..... I wish. I think I even had a period like this, where I had been dealing with extreme depression for a long time and one day I just felt 100% better and super joyful. I went a few years without any depression, but now here I am again, with chronic depression again. God keeping me humble.

Luminous_Rose , do you have any community of people with the same disorder that you can fellowship with? I'm in Facebook groups for Christians with the specific mental illnesses I deal with, I tend to share my lowest moments there because they are far and away more understanding than general Christian groups or this site. Some of these groups even have rules against downplaying the role of medication and promoting "faith healing".

I can see where that train of thought would come from as far as the ones that have a miraculous healing.

I can visit an online forum, and that's better than nothing. I wish there was something local, face-to-face, but there's not.

I know some go as far as to relate pharmaceuticals with "witch craft." I hate that argument, I can debate it 'til I'm blue in the face, but it's not much good, because some people are persuaded that if you get anything from a pharmacy you have no faith and that's indeed upsetting to me. They say it like I chose this for myself, which I didn't. I was a child...I was 9 years old...and I start having these problems suddenly and didn't know what was going on. The reality only gets worse as I get older...it gets worse when my own kids want me to drive them to the park while dad works and I simply can't...it stinks...

 

[evenifigoalone]

One of my worst experiences for sure was in one group where I mentioned not being able to keep up w/ debates cuz I have anxiety. One member took to lecturing me like "how dare you let yourself be anxious over something so silly when people are dying of cancer" and even though I told him to stop giving me unsolicited advice he kept on going until I blocked him.
Another member at the same time was nice at first, offered to "teach me how to get over anxiety" and that I "needed to obey God if I wanted my anxiety to go away". I said no thanks, I have meds and a therapist. They then laugh reacted my comments and said "have fun being an anxious mess then". I was flabbergasted at the whiplash.

Needless to say I left that group.

 

[jasonc]

I hate to see what he would say about grieving and PTSD where the victim relives the event once triggered and has anger issues , insomnia.

I have ran into that with certain people .

 

[Luminous_Rose]

One of my worst experiences for sure was in one group where I mentioned not being able to keep up w/ debates cuz I have anxiety. One member took to lecturing me like "how dare you let yourself be anxious over something so silly when people are dying of cancer" and even though I told him to stop giving me unsolicited advice he kept on going until I blocked him.
Another member at the same time was nice at first, offered to "teach me how to get over anxiety" and that I "needed to obey God if I wanted my anxiety to go away". I said no thanks, I have meds and a therapist. They then laugh reacted my comments and said "have fun being an anxious mess then". I was flabbergasted at the whiplash.

Needless to say I left that group.

Wow, that's quite a bold apples to oranges argument. People say something hurtful once, it hurts, but if they keep pressing it on you until they're blue in the face then that's another thing...so sad...sorry to hear you had to deal with that.

Doesn't sound like a fun group to deal with for sure, but it's probably a good thing you aren't around that anymore. I can't see that being any good for a person's health to be consistently bullied in that manner.

 

[Luminous_Rose]

I hate to see what he would say about grieving and PTSD where the victim relives the event once triggered and has anger issues , insomnia.

I have ran into that with certain people .

I'm sure PTSD can't be easy, it's such a common thing, but it seems a lot of people get backlash for having issues with that, too. I've heard many people on other online forums say that people always tell them, "You just need to let it go," but trauma has it's workings in the human mind and the mind reacts in such a way to protect itself, but apparently to some people that must be wrong.

Everyone has to fight their own monsters, I suppose.

 

[jasonc]

I'm sure PTSD can't be easy, it's such a common thing, but it seems a lot of people get backlash for having issues with that, too. I've heard many people on other online forums say that people always tell them, "You just need to let it go," but trauma has it's workings in the human mind and the mind reacts in such a way to protect itself, but apparently to some people that must be wrong.

Everyone has to fight their own monsters, I suppose.

The brain reconfigure s itself and can't return to normal