This is hard to say but I'm 22 years old. Even more difficult to say I'm not perfect. I made to many bad decisions in life. Judaism in my eyes is perfect! Something will make me better but also allow me to fix my broken memories of the past. I feel like I'm forcing myself in a prison cell. Since I'm in my room majority of the day. I'm living but I have no life. Even though I'm respectful most of the time. I feel like life is pointless. Sorry for cursing but I messed up to many times in my life and I'm paying for it. I'm jealous people are happy. Have happiness. I feel I can never be happy or loved.
edited post.
Thank you for sharing your heart with us. I am sorry to see that you are in so much pain. Judaism is beautiful because the Lord YHVH gave it to the world so that through it, the world could have salvation and be reconciled to Himself (through Jesus Christ) in fellowship once again.
I am not perfect either, and I have many mess ups in my life that I still lament over. I have mess ups that will be with my until the day I die. I currently messed up so bad, that I'll be paying for it for the next 10 years! Our mess ups are extremely painful. God wants to take our hearts and our pains away and heal us.
Look at what the Hebrew Scripture says:
Isaiah 61:3
To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them a garland for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the mantle of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called terebinths of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, wherein He might glory. (Source:
Isaiah 61 / Hebrew - English Bible / Mechon-Mamre)
The Lord YHVH whom you serve desires to give you garland for ashes, and the oil of joy for your mourning. He desires to give you the spirit of praise in return for your spirit of heaviness.
The Lord YHVH doesn't want you to be lonely. He wants to be your friend, just as He was Abraham's friend!
2 Chronicles 20:7
Didst not Thou, O our God, drive out the inhabitants of this land before Thy people Israel, and gavest it to the seed of Abraham Thy friend for ever? (Source:
2 Chronicles 20 / Hebrew - English Bible / Mechon-Mamre)
Isaiah 41: 8
But thou, Israel, My servant, Jacob whom I have chosen, the seed of Abraham My friend; (Source:
Isaiah 41 / Hebrew - English Bible / Mechon-Mamre)
(All quoted Scripture comes from the Hebrew source in respect to you Johnny)
Johnny,
You said you used to be a Christian? What turned you away from Christianity?