Ecclesiastes 1:17-18
And I gave my heart to know wisdom, and to know madness and folly: I perceived that this also is vexation of spirit. For in much wisdom is much grief: and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow.
I have not given my heart to know the vexation and madness of war. I have not given my heart to know the grief that comes to a musician from the adoration of fans. But I have given my heart to know and seek the wisdom that comes from the Lord. In this pursuit, I have experienced the madness and I now understand the folly. I have come to my sorrow, yet in my sorrow I find my peace confirmed.
When I came to the Lord many years ago, I gave myself to studying the scripture. I read it from cover to cover, beginning to the end before I ever turned to listen to what anyone else had to say. After a bit, I was introduce to a show broadcast on TV called The Shepherds Chapel. I particularly liked it because it presented teaching the scripture book by book, line upon line. Through this man’s teaching I developed an appreciation for deeper studies of the scriptures, and using a Strong’s Concordance to gain a better understanding of the languages, looking for those hidden truths that we hope to find in the word of God. I was convinced at the time of the doctrine he taught such as the serpent seed and such.
But the quest for the knowledge that lay hidden within the translations lead to madness when the words no longer meant what I trusted them to say, and the faith in my own understanding was shattered. I stopped watching the Shepherds Chapel, as I could no longer believe in the doctrines that he taught, and he became a false teacher to me, but at the same time the Lord took from me the desire to intently study the scripture as I had been. Tried though I did, but it was as if the pages were blank to me. So I had to let it go. But the Lord was never far from my heart, and If I could not look for understanding in the Bible, I was going to search for it in my heart; And there did I find much wisdom and much understanding. It was by searching my heart did I comprehend mercy and grace. It was by searching my heart that I perceived faith apart from knowledge.
It was by searching my heart that I have concluded an inescapable truth: I am a false teacher. I am a false teacher as is any other member that is posting. In fact I have accepted that all men are in fact false teachers. Now before anybody takes offense at that statement and closes their ears form hearing anything further, I would hope for you to consider first the context of my statement.
When I say that I am a false teacher, or if I were to say that Chopper is a false teacher, I am not identifying him as teaching some doctrine in error or teaching it falsely. What I am doing is identifying that neither Chopper nor myself are the Holy Spirit. The Scripture says we have no need that any man should teach us, for there is one that teaches us, and that is the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is the only True Teacher, all other teachers are false by comparison.
Now because I have accepted that I am no teacher, and never can be, what do I do with the wisdom I have received. Do I doubt it? Do I hold it in? Or do I share that which rests upon my heart and cast it into the wind knowing it comes from a heart that is tainted? But if I should willingly pour out that which I have received, then should I not trust that the power of the Holy Spirit to teach lies with those who hear the word spoken, rather than those who attempt to speak it.
Now I am sure that many will mock this, some might condemn it, but a few might receive it. But such as it is when a seed is sown. To give your heart to know and understand wisdom means to accept the Word of God as it comes to me, as one who sins, as liar and a hypocrite. This is the beginning of wisdom. You might begin to understand the madness and folly of this quest, for it comes from a dark place in our heart, which is a desire to be like the Most High.
For thou has said in thine heart, I will ascend into heaven, I shall be like the Most High. Who exalts himself above all that is called God, or that is worshiped; so that he as god, sits in the Temple of God, showing himself to be god.
The Son does not exalt himself above the Father. Adam was created a Son of God, yet his temptation was to obtain knowledge to become like the Most High. Which happens to be madness and utter folly.
, I'm kidding, but you get what I'm driving at), but I resented being with them instead of my church family. I attended a small tight-knit congregation of believers and I actually preferred to be in church with them instead of doing family gatherings with my family when the two conflicted. I then realized Jesus meant it very literally when he said we were to hate our mother and father and brothers and sisters.
