Ex-christian turned to witchcraft - ask me anything

[unknown1991-old]

For it is impossible for those who were once enlightened, and have tasted of the heavenly gift, and were made partakers of the Holy Ghost, and have tasted the good word of God, and the powers of the world to come, if they shall fall away, to renew them again unto repentance; seeing they crucify to themselves the Son of God afresh, and put him to an open shame. Hebrews 6:4-6.

I know the word. And either that is all or nothing, or there can be grace in that. Either I'm doomed, or there is hope for me.

I do have a rebellious seed in my heart, thanks to my mom's abuse. It started when I was 13. I don't like societal norms cause of it. I like to do my own thing.

I admit it.

 

[hawkman]

In the end, I felt like pushing boundaries, but wasn't trying to troll, if that makes sense.

I did not think you were trolling . I thought you were in deep conflict , this why I was praying for you .

I do have a rebellious seed in my heart, thanks to my mom's abuse. It started when I was 13. I don't like societal norms cause of it. I like to do my own thing.

I admit it.

Did you ever tell your pastor or another strong Christian about your being abused ? Seek any kind of counseling ?

 

[fernst]

I'm here for you...if you want talk to me.
I was like you... I was grow up on church, christian family, but because trauma and pain, I left Jesus and looked witchcraft too. I tried suicide, I hurt myself every day and I passed too many pains and more traumas to understand that Jesus is the only way.
Jesus received me with all love in the world and He took care my heart.

 

[for_his_glory]

I'm a lonely sojourner in a land that use to be, but is no more to me.

I am fearful of my predators, but protected by my Lord.

Shall I speak with words of kindness to the faces I never see or walk in tolerance of the ignorance of those who be.

I know who I am and that's all I need as the rest of this world in ignorance will be.

When the sun gives up it's light and the days grow dark then my Savior will rescue this sojourning Lark.


I wrote this during a time when I was lost within myself after being physically and mentally abuse and being rejected by a Pastor that I was seeking counsel from, but all he did was pat me on the back and said I was a strong person and could handle my own problems. What he did not know was at that time I came to talk with him I was really messed up in my head contemplating suicide as my world was crashing in on me and I wanted to die just to get rid of the torment inside of me. Long story short I gave up on God and everything that I held onto being a Christian because of the rejection of that Pastor and that church. I gave up on God, but He didn't give up on me. He gave me these words from Deuteronomy 28:13 you are the head and not the tail. From that moment on I learned to trust in no man, but to set my sights on God alone and His written word. I prayed, studied and grew Spiritually over the last 25 years in which I will be 69 very soon.

I reinvented myself in who I am in Christ and not who I am in any church with a label attached to it. I found this forum 12 years ago and now call it my church as all of us are the church/body of Christ with He being the head of the body. We are a diverse group and at times we do not always agree with each other, but our common ground is our love for the Lord and each other. You will always find a few hypocrites and the holier then thou people, but in the end it is each of us that will stand before the Lord in judgement as we will stand without excuse.

unknown1991 let the anger go as it will eat you alive as well I know. Let the past be the past and move forward as right now you are having a tug of war within yourself as God is pulling you one way and Satan is pulling you another. We don't always get the best advice from others, but yet in their own way they are trying to help, even if you do not want to hear it. I hope you stay with us and I hope we can help you Spiritually grow stronger in Christ as many of us are genuine and do care about you even if we do not know you. Just void out the holier then thou stuff and come to know who you are in Christ.

 

[unknown1991-old]

I will check this thread when I am sober. I have to work in the morning. But, after what the one poster said about those that have tasted of the Spirit and turn away... I feel like this is MY turn to repent... What I mean is, I'm not stupid. I know about heaven and hell and I know the word. I know God has grace. I've had enough because on Saturday morning when I woke up and felt Him near me and I repented, then turned back today. I felt like that was my chance, and now, I'm saying, I don't want to be lost. I threw away my witch craft books and told God tonight I'm done, but even though my heart feels 99% numb to Him, and I know we can do nothing without Him, I'm at least making the effort.

I will read your replies when I've sobered after work tomorrow.

It felt empty any way. I was trying to have a connection with the Universe without working with deities (because I know that is demonic. I have my limits).

I'm asking Him for a third chance. I will return tomorrow or the next night.

Thanks for not giving up on me.

 

[for_his_glory]

I know the word. And either that is all or nothing, or there can be grace in that. Either I'm doomed, or there is hope for me.

I do have a rebellious seed in my heart, thanks to my mom's abuse. It started when I was 13. I don't like societal norms cause of it. I like to do my own thing.

I admit it.

I have notice by reading your postings you do know some of the word of God and have a love for the Lord, but a rebellious seed in your heart, even if you want to blame it on your mom which is no excuse as I have been through abuse for the first 44 years of my life as I am 68. I could have held on to that hurt and anger, but there comes a time when you have to forgive and move past it as it will eat you alive.

There is grace in the words of God as God gives us His grace even though none of us deserve it as we have all fallen short of His glory. But God also gave us hope in that of Christ Jesus who is our faith we trust in.

Matthew 6:24 No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.

This is what you are doing is trying to serve two masters. One being the pagan traditions of Wiccan and also wanting to serve God, but can not feel Him near you, which is no wonder, but yet He is there waiting for you to surrender all to Him. It's up to you who you are going to serve as it can not be both.

Col 3:1 If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God.
Col 3:2 Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth.
Col 3:3 For ye are dead, and your life is hid with Christ in God.
Col 3:4 When Christ, who is our life, shall appear, then shall ye also appear with him in glory.

Actually read Colossians 3:1-17 about putting on the new Spiritual person of Christ

 

[Who Me]

I will answer and say, that I have tried to keep the two separate. Right hand not knowing what the left hand is doing. Have I seen god move? Yes. Have I seen him answer prayer in my own life? Yes. Do I think the bible is largely the product of the times? Yes. What I mean is, the social norms of the times influenced the times. For instance, god allowed people to steal wives for themselves and go into them after they had 30 days of mourning. Today, we would call that rape. But it was allowed then. Tolerated, maybe?

I do think a lot of what was considered socially normal then was accepted. Things, like slavery, would not be accepted today (and in fact, are wrong). Maybe this is where I got diluted?

But in the end. I didn't walk away from god, just tried to keep it separate. I told my pastor my relationship with god was on life support. 99% dead, but not completely shutting the door on him.

yeah, I've found acceptance and could finally be me. That's when the internal struggle stopped and I found a lot of peace after I stopped fighting. I got tired of god not answering prayers, people walking all over me and having to forgive them (it's hard). I've always generally been a good person, never meant anyone any harm, and I could never understand why I was so rejected and hurt and treated like garbage by everyone.

In the craft, and finding people like me, I could be accepted for the first time, and be myself. No more internal struggle.

I will answer and say, that I have tried to keep the two separate. Right hand not knowing what the left hand is doing. Have I seen god move? Yes. Have I seen him answer prayer in my own life? Yes. Do I think the bible is largely the product of the times? Yes. What I mean is, the social norms of the times influenced the times. For instance, god allowed people to steal wives for themselves and go into them after they had 30 days of mourning. Today, we would call that rape. But it was allowed then. Tolerated, maybe?

I do think a lot of what was considered socially normal then was accepted. Things, like slavery, would not be accepted today (and in fact, are wrong). Maybe this is where I got diluted?

But in the end. I didn't walk away from god, just tried to keep it separate. I told my pastor my relationship with god was on life support. 99% dead, but not completely shutting the door on him.

yeah, I've found acceptance and could finally be me. That's when the internal struggle stopped and I found a lot of peace after I stopped fighting. I got tired of god not answering prayers, people walking all over me and having to forgive them (it's hard). I've always generally been a good person, never meant anyone any harm, and I could never understand why I was so rejected and hurt and treated like garbage by everyone.

In the craft, and finding people like me, I could be accepted for the first time, and be myself. No more internal struggle.

Interesting that you refer to events that happened in the early history of the Jewish nation.
Do you believe those rules apply to us today, that single men can kill single girls parents, detain her for a month and then marry her?
A question for you.
How did other nations treat girls capture through war?

What do you believe about Jesus's death, burial and resurrection?

Why did Christianity spread across the roman world?
Why would anyone believe in a God from an unremarkable nation, who was a common worker, who permitted himself to be killed?

Last question.
If Christianity is true, then your ' craft ' is false.

 

[WIP]

Yes, I do believe in Him.

I don't understand. How can you believe "in Him" and still turn away?

 

[WIP]

Either I'm doomed, or there is hope for me.

There is definitely hope for you. I know it sound cliché, but, turn to Jesus. Your hope resides with Him.

 

[miamited]

Hi unknown1991

Jesus told a parable about a man who scattered seed and described the various conditions under which the seed would take root and thrive. There was only one place where the seed did thrive. That parable was then explained to the disciples and Jesus said that it was an analogy to how the seed of the gospel is received by those who hear it. So, it's likely that you're not willing to provide the right nourishment for the seed of the gospel to grow in your heart. That's too bad, but it is your choice.

Here's what the Scriptures tell us. God created all that exists. Every star and planet and piece of dirt and fauna upon the earth. He then created man. Now, I don't know how much your witchcraft can tell you about the 'why' that you exist, but God's word does.

But keep in mind that it wasn't the seed that was defective that it didn't produce. It was the soil, or heart in the case of the gospel, that failed to allow the seed to produce.

If you have any specific questions you'd like me to answer for you, I'll give it a go. But I'm not much interested in asking questions from someone that I know doesn't know the truth. What should I ask? Why are some cows spotted?

God bless,
Ted

 

[unknown1991-old]

Interesting that you refer to events that happened in the early history of the Jewish nation.
Do you believe those rules apply to us today, that single men can kill single girls parents, detain her for a month and then marry her?
A question for you.
How did other nations treat girls capture through war?

What do you believe about Jesus's death, burial and resurrection?

Why did Christianity spread across the roman world?
Why would anyone believe in a God from an unremarkable nation, who was a common worker, who permitted himself to be killed?

Jesus died for all, that through Him all might be saved. That's scripture.

Scripture spread because he told Peter you are the rock upon which I will build my church (the catholic church).

Last question.
If Christianity is true, then your ' craft ' is false.

Magick is real and effective, I assure you. I did a baneful spell against someone that was hurtful to me, and it had immediate and detrimental effects to them. My attitude was then, I was tired of trying to forgive (I struggle with forgiveness), and if you eff with my life, I will eff with yours. The night I did the spell things started happening to them.

I did ask God's forgiveness and that He break every spell I cast and bless them. Not making excuses. But it does work. That's what I found so alluring. I was tired of God not answering prayer and I decided to do something about it and effect change in my life, myself.

( And well, I just admitted that I lied earlier in this thread. Some times I have done baneful magick when people have treated me like crap. I try to forgive, but haven't always).

Today I was at work, and I told God, why is it so hard to stay with you and so easy to turn back? It troubles me, in that, that I have come this far and my heart is so numb to Him. I don't want to say *why* it bothers me. Maybe you can figure it out. But I need time to work through some feelings.

But a reawakening of the heart is what I need. I can't do it without Him.

Why would anyone believe in a God from an unremarkable nation, who was a common worker, who permitted himself to be killed?

No one can believe in Him unless the Father first draws them. It is impossible to do anything for God without Him. This I know well.

 

[unknown1991-old]

Actually read Colossians 3:1-17 about putting on the new Spiritual person of Christ

I know it, but I will it again tonight. Thanks.

And thanks to everyone. I am reading your posts.

 

[unknown1991-old]

Yeah I'm kind of a contradiction. I need to work through some feelings. I do know God is real. I *have* been conflicted as another member pointed out.

I do have a feeling (call it intuition) that this thread is winding down. In the end, I have a decision to make.

Atleast I've been able to be more real to you here than anyone, especially in churches, in real life. I always felt pressure to be this way or that way, to be accepted, lest I be rejected. Can you atleast understand that? Being what others want me to be so I wont be rejected, cause I'm sensitive to rejection (have been my whole life).

I loved God at one time. I admitted to Him a few months ago that I don't love Him any more. Only He can restart my heart (picture, paddles to my heart cause I'm in cardiac arrest. That's how I picture it). I *do* know it's impossible to do anything without God. So where is He? Where has He been all these years?

I don't know what else to say. But if everyone has said their peace, then I respectfully ask that the administrator lock my account and this thread. I think it's run it's course.

I'm getting together with a friend like me later this week, and I've thought of them asking to start a coven so I can join it and learn.

Why do I find it so hard to stay with god (and feel so empty doing so, and feel so much anxiety doing so?), but feel it's so easy to turn away from Him?

I don't know what else to say, except that I thank all of you willing to engage me in a discussion when my last church shunned me and wouldn't talk to me. I do thank you.

I have A LOT to think about.

All the best to you all, in case I don't come back here. I do appreciate you talking to me. Atleast you did when no one had the courage to.

 

[for_his_glory]

Yeah I'm kind of a contradiction. I need to work through some feelings. I do know God is real. I *have* been conflicted as another member pointed out.

I do have a feeling (call it intuition) that this thread is winding down. In the end, I have a decision to make.

Atleast I've been able to be more real to you here than anyone, especially in churches, in real life. I always felt pressure to be this way or that way, to be accepted, lest I be rejected. Can you atleast understand that? Being what others want me to be so I wont be rejected, cause I'm sensitive to rejection (have been my whole life).

I loved God at one time. I admitted to Him a few months ago that I don't love Him any more. Only He can restart my heart (picture, paddles to my heart cause I'm in cardiac arrest. That's how I picture it). I *do* know it's impossible to do anything without God. So where is He? Where has He been all these years?

I don't know what else to say. But if everyone has said their peace, then I respectfully ask that the administrator lock my account and this thread. I think it's run it's course.

I'm getting together with a friend like me later this week, and I've thought of them asking to start a coven so I can join it and learn.

Why do I find it so hard to stay with god (and feel so empty doing so, and feel so much anxiety doing so?), but feel it's so easy to turn away from Him?

I don't know what else to say, except that I thank all of you willing to engage me in a discussion when my last church shunned me and wouldn't talk to me. I do thank you.

I have A LOT to think about.

All the best to you all, in case I don't come back here. I do appreciate you talking to me. Atleast you did when no one had the courage to.

I just want to leave you with just one more thing after reading this. God is not going to force you to come back to Him and it is not the church that has done you wrong, even though they did not treat you well, I believe it is just because you have never submitted your whole self to Him as you want the world and God and it doesn't work that way. I had to learn the hard way that it is all or nothing and that is what God wants from you is your all to Him. Forget trying to fit in with others perspectives of who they think you should be. Be yourself with your own convictions, your own decisions, but to know there is only one way and that is the way, the truth and the life that is Christ. You seem to know enough scripture to understand the choices you make for yourself and my prayer is that the Holy Spirit reveals to you the truth about yourself (mean that in a good way) and what direction you need to be taking in your life. Eternal life is either with Christ or in the lake of fire and only you can make that decision as no one knows the day or the hour of the return of Christ, but to be prepared when He does return. I know you have a lot on your plate as you sort through all your feelings, emotions and the struggles you face. Just don't give up as there are many here that do care for you.

BTW, the staff can not delete anyone's account as there is no function to do that. Usually members just leave on there own and we find that many do come back from time to time. You are always welcomed here and we will always be here for you.

 

[Hopeful 2]

I got tired of the hypocrisy I saw in the church. People who had their hands up loving on god, but not loving others. Ignoring them and treating them like dung. I saw this in church after church.

1 John 4:20 says that if you claim to love god but hate others, you are a liar. When I brought up this fact to my ex-pastor, he had no answer, but tried to sluff me off to another church.

I got tired of unanswered prayers, yet, when I turned to the craft, my prayers are answered and quickly. I'm heard and accepted, unlike in the church where I was told I had to cut my hair and start wearing a suit to church. Not that the heart of the person matters, but somehow "looking" godly somehow makes you more godly.

I got so disgusted with the church that I left. I was someone who loved god at one time, but got tired of seeing people that say one thing but do another, and unanswered prayer.

Talk to me, I'm eager to hear from you. That is if you actually care.

You have allowed the ill manners of some to pollute your own manners?
Where is the wisdom in that?
There are tons of false churches out there, but it is easy to leave one at any time.
But you must be searching for the one from God in order to find it.

What would qualify as the real, original church, to you?

 

[unknown1991-old]

I just want to leave you with just one more thing after reading this. God is not going to force you to come back to Him and it is not the church that has done you wrong, even though they did not treat you well, I believe it is just because you have never submitted your whole self to Him as you want the world and God and it doesn't work that way. I had to learn the hard way that it is all or nothing and that is what God wants from you is your all to Him. Forget trying to fit in with others perspectives of who they think you should be. Be yourself with your own convictions, your own decisions, but to know there is only one way and that is the way, the truth and the life that is Christ. You seem to know enough scripture to understand the choices you make for yourself and my prayer is that the Holy Spirit reveals to you the truth about yourself (mean that in a good way) and what direction you need to be taking in your life. Eternal life is either with Christ or in the lake of fire and only you can make that decision as no one knows the day or the hour of the return of Christ, but to be prepared when He does return. I know you have a lot on your plate as you sort through all your feelings, emotions and the struggles you face. Just don't give up as there are many here that do care for you.

BTW, the staff can not delete anyone's account as there is no function to do that. Usually members just leave on there own and we find that many do come back from time to time. You are always welcomed here and we will always be here for you.

I wont forget this. Atleast you talked to me, and others. It wont be forgotten. Thanks.

 

[Riven]

I'm getting together with a friend like me later this week, and I've thought of them asking to start a coven so I can join it and learn.

So, then why did you bother posting here if you're just going to stick with paganism?

 

[unknown1991-old]

So, then why did you bother posting here if you're just going to stick with paganism?

I thought that was already made clear, but you do you.

 

[Who Me]

Magick is real and effective, I assure you.

That is not what I asked.
Is Christianity true?
Is Jesus the only way to God, to have a life in heaven, do non Christians face an eternity separated from God?

I did ask God's forgiveness and that He break every spell I cast and bless them. Not making excuses. But it does work. That's what I found so alluring.

To ask for forgiveness means turning away from one's sin, turning away from serving the devil, either by living for self or in following ' the craft', God is not a sugar daddy fixing our mistakes etc

I have no doubt that your ' magic ' etc does work now.
That isn't important, what happens when you die and as a non Christian you face God's justice and wrath.

 

[Riven]

I thought that was already made clear, but you do you.

You can have it your way.