What was your reaction to the relief ?
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Ex-christian turned to witchcraft - ask me anything
- Thread starter unknown1991-old
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unknown1991-old
Member
God reminded me not long ago that just because people behave a certain way, doesn't mean that it's always reflective of His heart. I know, the very first scripture that popped out to me 7 years ago when I was seeking Him with all my heart, where Jesus said, "all that the Father has given me will come to me, and everyone who comes to me I will never reject". You think I don't know the damn truth? I'm just angry at your piece of **** god. I finally got tired of the lack of answer to prayer when I was really struggling and turned where I've felt so drawn since I was a kid.
Yeah, you can't see it from behind your monitor reading this thread, but I'm crying right now when I remember that first scripture that jumped out at me years ago.
Happy?
Yeah, you can't see it from behind your monitor reading this thread, but I'm crying right now when I remember that first scripture that jumped out at me years ago.
Happy?
My Beloved Brother or Sister, Please, I wish I give you two advices.
1. Why do you look at others Read Mathew Chapter 24: 10-13
2. Take great lessons from the life of our fathers Abraham, Joseph and Job who were tempted to the last even if they have a strong promise from God Himself.
Abraham was tempted by famine, war, his wife was taken two times by different Kings and finally he was told that his generations shall be slaves for 4oo years for foreign nation.
Joseph, the dreamer, he dreamt a good dream. But, he was sold by his own brothers to slavery. His master's wife betrayed and accused him falsely. The cup bearer neglected and forgotten him while he was return to the king's court.
Job had lost all he has. his wealth, his health, his sons, his daughters, his wife and so on, and yet, he waited his God.
There are so many witnesses in the Bible who waited upon the Lord. He did not put them to shame.
Finally, what I want to say to you is God is God. There is no other. Satan is a creature and not creator.
He is a thief. The thief cometh not, but that he may steal, and kill, and destroy: I came that they may have life, and may have [it] abundantly. John 10:10. He can't give you enteral life. But, he is ambushing to slaughter you by giving rubbish worldly things.
Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the vain glory of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever. 1 John 2:15-17
I am happy I am not the one angry at God . I will pray for you , God hears me but that does not mean the answer will always be yes .
GodsGrace
CF Ambassador
I have a question for you.
By what power are your prayers answered?
GodsGrace
CF Ambassador
It sounds like you are angry.
And please abandon the bad language.
You should have your eyes on God, not others.
Also you might want to try a more formal church,,,for instance Catholic or Orthodox.
Or maybe no church.
You're not attending a church now, are you?
Hey All,
Why are you really here unknown1991?
Maliah tried to converse with you and you verbally backhand her. Scripture Says, and the rest, try to engage with you and you treat them the same way. These are nice people. They took time out of their day to write you. They are just trying to help. Your responses to them are venomous.
The signs of who you are, and what your intentions are come through your words. I will not engage with you except to in the name of Jesus rebuke any evil (person or spirit) that comes to this site. Amen
As long as you are breathing God can turn your life around. Ask for forgiveness. Look forward. Get on that straight and narrow. Start walking and don't look back. May God bless,
Taz
Why are you really here unknown1991?
Maliah tried to converse with you and you verbally backhand her. Scripture Says, and the rest, try to engage with you and you treat them the same way. These are nice people. They took time out of their day to write you. They are just trying to help. Your responses to them are venomous.
The signs of who you are, and what your intentions are come through your words. I will not engage with you except to in the name of Jesus rebuke any evil (person or spirit) that comes to this site. Amen
As long as you are breathing God can turn your life around. Ask for forgiveness. Look forward. Get on that straight and narrow. Start walking and don't look back. May God bless,
Taz
Why didn't you turn to atheism after you left the church?
Vaccine
Member
Then there's no point in discussing anything with you. It seems you're just here trolling, so as the saying goes don't feed the troll.
Yes many Christians do not live as Christian, there love for others who are different isn't there.
From your post I understand that your rejection of Christianity is based on two things.
That you were not accepted as you are and because you didn't get what you felt you deserved from God.
I have a question.
Is Christianity ( as found in the bible ) true?
Christian Saboteur
Member
I have experienced the same issues as unknown 1991 in church.All churches have their own Inner- Social Clubs,avoid that non-sense,clubs are for 5 year olds.I once attended a church that had its own "Swingers Club" within its congregation.Believe it or not,the swingers club was led by the pastor and his wife,they spouse swapped with couples in the congregation.This was a small Baptist Church on a back road,not a yuppie church in the suburbs.I still go to church,maybe not every Sunday,and I experience answered prayers for myself and others.I have had alot of missed opportunities for sharing the word with others,I know I fall short in many ways,but I know God hasn't left me.Satan works the hardest inside our churches,because that's the place he knows folks are trying get out the mess we are in.Pray for me,I will pray for you.
Christ_empowered
Member
Wheat and tares…also I can live a fellow believer but prefer to avoid too much of their company…and…
Churches
️ are social institutions. They grow out of communities and at a larger level society as a whole. Society is not doing well..,
The sorts of social sickness vary from place to place nation to nation but in more affluent developed nations there’s a lot of social disintegration family dysfunction and poverty and then having too much money and drugs and loneliness and…
Do churches️ reflect all that especially the bigger ones. I used to think 
that the Catholic Church was insulated from society but…ugh. Not so much. The official teachings remain the same but where the rubber hits the road…
same problems.
Turn to Jesus. Look to Jesus. Me personally…I’m still learning that fear of man will prove a snare…
I don’t think it helps that some church subcultures are toxic not if God and decidedly inhumane. One can reject a subculture that claims Christ and still love Jesus..,
Churches
️ are social institutions. They grow out of communities and at a larger level society as a whole. Society is not doing well..,The sorts of social sickness vary from place to place nation to nation but in more affluent developed nations there’s a lot of social disintegration family dysfunction and poverty and then having too much money and drugs and loneliness and…
Do churches
️ reflect all that especially the bigger ones. I used to think that the Catholic Church was insulated from society but…ugh. Not so much. The official teachings remain the same but where the rubber hits the road…same problems.
Turn to Jesus. Look to Jesus. Me personally…I’m still learning that fear of man will prove a snare…
I don’t think
it helps that some church subcultures are toxic not if God and decidedly inhumane. One can reject a subculture that claims Christ and still love Jesus..,
unknown1991-old
Member
I wasn't trolling, at least that wasn't my intention, but I was feeling provocative. I was angry at how I was treated, and angry toward god for many years. Many of the things I brought up here, I brought up to an old pastor, and they couldn't provide any answers, except the generic "god loves you", blah blah.
I hate christianity, but hate no one. More like, I hate the *expectations*, "dress this way" and you are godly, blah blah, but got hurt so much in the church. Which ultimately is what turned me away.
I was feeling provocative the other night (not saying you guys aren't good people), and I guess I felt like venting, and there was a little bit of me that was reaching out...
Edit: and I will add, because my old church wouldn't engage me, I was daring any christian to engage me. I was hoping some would. In the end, I felt like pushing boundaries, but wasn't trying to troll, if that makes sense.
I hate christianity, but hate no one. More like, I hate the *expectations*, "dress this way" and you are godly, blah blah, but got hurt so much in the church. Which ultimately is what turned me away.
I was feeling provocative the other night (not saying you guys aren't good people), and I guess I felt like venting, and there was a little bit of me that was reaching out...
Edit: and I will add, because my old church wouldn't engage me, I was daring any christian to engage me. I was hoping some would. In the end, I felt like pushing boundaries, but wasn't trying to troll, if that makes sense.
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Christ_empowered
Member
If one looks to churches and other Christians..,
One won’t believe for long lol
we all fall short. Some hold on to bitterness and spite others remain fearful and depressed others are jealous and materialistic…
On and on. Jesus Christ is perfect. The rest of us are at best imperfect believers bearing fruit in a fallen world
…
One won’t believe for long lol
we all fall short. Some hold on to bitterness and spite others remain fearful and depressed others are jealous and materialistic…On and on. Jesus Christ is perfect. The rest of us are at best imperfect believers bearing fruit in a fallen world
…I don't think your alone . I have been into 15 churches across the USA in recent years. Although there is a surface politeness in the people ,the majority show little interest in connecting with new people.
Its a family in so many churches and people get defensive. They won't let anyone new in.Not really anyway. And if you brought it up in church they would ignore you. Many people don't care, They really don't. Can you imagine what it might be like in 24,25,2026...? the Bible says its going to be really bad people betraying each other and even worse... it might start as soon as 2024.....people will die of despair when they see how little some christians give a damn about anyone. Would God really disconnect from a believer to test them???It might be true....if you are active in a church then get on the phone and call some people or stop by there homes. Or you are nothing but luke warm.
Its a family in so many churches and people get defensive. They won't let anyone new in.Not really anyway. And if you brought it up in church they would ignore you. Many people don't care, They really don't. Can you imagine what it might be like in 24,25,2026...? the Bible says its going to be really bad people betraying each other and even worse... it might start as soon as 2024.....people will die of despair when they see how little some christians give a damn about anyone. Would God really disconnect from a believer to test them???It might be true....if you are active in a church then get on the phone and call some people or stop by there homes. Or you are nothing but luke warm.
unknown1991-old
Member
I will answer and say, that I have tried to keep the two separate. Right hand not knowing what the left hand is doing. Have I seen god move? Yes. Have I seen him answer prayer in my own life? Yes. Do I think the bible is largely the product of the times? Yes. What I mean is, the social norms of the times influenced the times. For instance, god allowed people to steal wives for themselves and go into them after they had 30 days of mourning. Today, we would call that rape. But it was allowed then. Tolerated, maybe?
I do think a lot of what was considered socially normal then was accepted. Things, like slavery, would not be accepted today (and in fact, are wrong). Maybe this is where I got diluted?
But in the end. I didn't walk away from god, just tried to keep it separate. I told my pastor my relationship with god was on life support. 99% dead, but not completely shutting the door on him.
yeah, I've found acceptance and could finally be me. That's when the internal struggle stopped and I found a lot of peace after I stopped fighting. I got tired of god not answering prayers, people walking all over me and having to forgive them (it's hard). I've always generally been a good person, never meant anyone any harm, and I could never understand why I was so rejected and hurt and treated like garbage by everyone.
In the craft, and finding people like me, I could be accepted for the first time, and be myself. No more internal struggle.
unknown1991-old
Member
I want to give you guys the whole story, so you don't think I'm full of it. I've been honest in this thread, more honest than I can be in real life. (I've been drinking again, as I was when I posted this thread originally -- it has a nice way of making me honest).
I've always believed in god. From the time I was young I was curious about him. I also felt drawn to witchcraft. I first gave my heart to god when I was 16, but I wasn't (I think I wasn't *able*) to live for him. I struggled with many things of the flesh, addictions, etc..
After 22 I started falling away, but never forgot him. But in 2015, I spent a month at my mom's house, literally crying out to god. Asking him how he could forgive me for all I've done. I got led to a church where I gave my heart to god a second time.
Yes, I do believe in Him.
After I did that, I went through so many trials and hardships. It literally traumatized me. I prayed so much, over 3 or 4 years, for relief to the circumstances. For whatever reason, God allowed me to go through it. A month before those trials started, someone who had a prophetic gift, gave me the scripture where Jesus said that Satan asked to sift them like wheat, but take heart for I have prayed for you. Two months later the trials started. I attempted suicide it got so bad.
I heard his voice nearly every single day, some times several times a day. God was my first experience with love. On Valentines day of Feb 2016, we had a guest speaker. basically, it felt like a love gift from Him. I went home crying my eyes out. For the first time in my life, at nearly 40 years old, I felt love. I felt God's love for me, and I loved Him. So much.
But no relief in sight, and I stopped hearing His voice, frustrated me. I started getting angry with Him. In that time, I started feeling incredible temptation to find a coven. Thoughts that were unspeakable to me then and gave me great distress. I felt like at times I had to say no to it 100 times a day.
Now to where I'm at, slowly but surely, I've come to this point. My heart feels almost totally numb to Him. I tell you the truth that Saturday morning I awakened after I first posted this thread, and Jesus was first on my heart. I repented of my witchcraft, but then a day later (after a good friend of mine prayed about a bad circumstance in my life and it was answered - so took the pressure off me and the stress) I repented of my repentance. I went back.
Of course, 7 years ago, where I have come was unthinkable to me. I asked my ex pastor point blank, can you believe that someone who has gone up to pray for the baptism would turn to witchcraft?
For many years when I was going through those trials, I asked God so many times to 'turn this ship around' and turn my heart back to Him, and He didn't.
You know, someone at the church, before I got angry at God, felt like I was really angry at Him? That was one of many prophetic words I recieved from there.
I'm a litlte drunk so excuse me, but just being honest with you. Yes, I do believe in God. I don't involve Him in my craft. I keep the two separate.
I feel peace, in only that there is no longer any internal struggle. I reached out here, and to my old church who basically ignored me -- because I think I'm trying to work through all these feelings.
I will not shut the door on God. Not completely. But I don't feel anxiety inside when I don't follow Him.
That is all...
Believe me when I said before, I can tell who has a truly changed heart by the way they act and talk. I can see it on everyone. I'm not trying to troll. I was venting yes, and feeling full of myself when I started this thread, but I feel like my heart is almost totally dead to God now. Not completely (I still pray to Him every day in my mind, don't voice it). But I feel so numb lately.
A month ago, I saw in my apartment complex a very old woman, who is very frail and can hardly walk with a walker. I felt for months on my heart I should ask if she knows Jesus. I finally had the courage to ask her and prayed for her a month ago. All the while I'm living a double life and pursing the craft. So there you go.
Jesus and Wicca say we should forgive. I do believe we should forgive others either way.
Now on the other side. It was revealed to me that I need to carve my own path, and let go of the old beliefs. Just saying. Here you have a conundrum. Someone who once loved God and He was their first love. And has come to this point.
Happy to know this now?
I've always believed in god. From the time I was young I was curious about him. I also felt drawn to witchcraft. I first gave my heart to god when I was 16, but I wasn't (I think I wasn't *able*) to live for him. I struggled with many things of the flesh, addictions, etc..
After 22 I started falling away, but never forgot him. But in 2015, I spent a month at my mom's house, literally crying out to god. Asking him how he could forgive me for all I've done. I got led to a church where I gave my heart to god a second time.
Yes, I do believe in Him.
After I did that, I went through so many trials and hardships. It literally traumatized me. I prayed so much, over 3 or 4 years, for relief to the circumstances. For whatever reason, God allowed me to go through it. A month before those trials started, someone who had a prophetic gift, gave me the scripture where Jesus said that Satan asked to sift them like wheat, but take heart for I have prayed for you. Two months later the trials started. I attempted suicide it got so bad.
I heard his voice nearly every single day, some times several times a day. God was my first experience with love. On Valentines day of Feb 2016, we had a guest speaker. basically, it felt like a love gift from Him. I went home crying my eyes out. For the first time in my life, at nearly 40 years old, I felt love. I felt God's love for me, and I loved Him. So much.
But no relief in sight, and I stopped hearing His voice, frustrated me. I started getting angry with Him. In that time, I started feeling incredible temptation to find a coven. Thoughts that were unspeakable to me then and gave me great distress. I felt like at times I had to say no to it 100 times a day.
Now to where I'm at, slowly but surely, I've come to this point. My heart feels almost totally numb to Him. I tell you the truth that Saturday morning I awakened after I first posted this thread, and Jesus was first on my heart. I repented of my witchcraft, but then a day later (after a good friend of mine prayed about a bad circumstance in my life and it was answered - so took the pressure off me and the stress) I repented of my repentance. I went back.
Of course, 7 years ago, where I have come was unthinkable to me. I asked my ex pastor point blank, can you believe that someone who has gone up to pray for the baptism would turn to witchcraft?
For many years when I was going through those trials, I asked God so many times to 'turn this ship around' and turn my heart back to Him, and He didn't.
You know, someone at the church, before I got angry at God, felt like I was really angry at Him? That was one of many prophetic words I recieved from there.
I'm a litlte drunk so excuse me, but just being honest with you. Yes, I do believe in God. I don't involve Him in my craft. I keep the two separate.
I feel peace, in only that there is no longer any internal struggle. I reached out here, and to my old church who basically ignored me -- because I think I'm trying to work through all these feelings.
I will not shut the door on God. Not completely. But I don't feel anxiety inside when I don't follow Him.
That is all...
Believe me when I said before, I can tell who has a truly changed heart by the way they act and talk. I can see it on everyone. I'm not trying to troll. I was venting yes, and feeling full of myself when I started this thread, but I feel like my heart is almost totally dead to God now. Not completely (I still pray to Him every day in my mind, don't voice it). But I feel so numb lately.
A month ago, I saw in my apartment complex a very old woman, who is very frail and can hardly walk with a walker. I felt for months on my heart I should ask if she knows Jesus. I finally had the courage to ask her and prayed for her a month ago. All the while I'm living a double life and pursing the craft. So there you go.
Jesus and Wicca say we should forgive. I do believe we should forgive others either way.
Now on the other side. It was revealed to me that I need to carve my own path, and let go of the old beliefs. Just saying. Here you have a conundrum. Someone who once loved God and He was their first love. And has come to this point.
Happy to know this now?
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Hi unknown1991 and welcome to CF 
You are not alone as I have left the traditional doctrinated by man's so called church (four walled building with a name attached to it) because I got tired of everyone telling me what to do, how to act, how to dress, this is a sin that is a sin by their holier then thou standards. Don't get me wrong as there are good ones out there, but for me I never found another after we were forced to close the doors of the last church I use to attend. I left the traditional church, but I never left God and my relationship I have with Christ Jesus.
For it is impossible for those who were once enlightened, and have tasted of the heavenly gift, and were made partakers of the Holy Ghost, and have tasted the good word of God, and the powers of the world to come, if they shall fall away, to renew them again unto repentance; seeing they crucify to themselves the Son of God afresh, and put him to an open shame. Hebrews 6:4-6.
I don't think you were ever enlighten by the truth of the word of God or even if you understand what it means to be Spiritually born again and indwelled with the Holy Spirit, but if you stick around many of us can help you understand this and what it is to have that relationship with Christ without all that holier then thou garbage. There is a Question and Answer forum where you can ask us anything about God and many good Bible studies in the Biblical Growth & Study forum. We are here for you.
You are not alone as I have left the traditional doctrinated by man's so called church (four walled building with a name attached to it) because I got tired of everyone telling me what to do, how to act, how to dress, this is a sin that is a sin by their holier then thou standards. Don't get me wrong as there are good ones out there, but for me I never found another after we were forced to close the doors of the last church I use to attend. I left the traditional church, but I never left God and my relationship I have with Christ Jesus.
For it is impossible for those who were once enlightened, and have tasted of the heavenly gift, and were made partakers of the Holy Ghost, and have tasted the good word of God, and the powers of the world to come, if they shall fall away, to renew them again unto repentance; seeing they crucify to themselves the Son of God afresh, and put him to an open shame. Hebrews 6:4-6.
I don't think you were ever enlighten by the truth of the word of God or even if you understand what it means to be Spiritually born again and indwelled with the Holy Spirit, but if you stick around many of us can help you understand this and what it is to have that relationship with Christ without all that holier then thou garbage. There is a Question and Answer forum where you can ask us anything about God and many good Bible studies in the Biblical Growth & Study forum. We are here for you.
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