Let me address of few of your points.
Calvinist typically describes a person who is in substantial agreement with the five responses to Arminianism produced at the Council of Dort. I know of no Calvinist that fully believes all that Calvin wrote. TULIP is simply a clever English acronym used to sum up the five points. So I really am a Calvinist, but like many other Calvinists, do not agree with all he wrote.
You see Hospes,,,when speaking to a reformed person, sooner or later the conversation turns to CALVIN. This does NOT happen when speaking to non-reformed Christians on any topic. Why do you suppose this is? Perhaps it's because it's called Calvinism because Calvin was very influential in spreading this belief?
If I understand you correctly, I see your position the same as I would in this analogy:
You care for a precocious two-year-old that is prone to disobedience and wandering off. As you approach a busy highway, you decide what you most want is for the child to have the freedom to obey/disobey you, so you thoroughly instruct her - using all your powers of persuasion - to not cross the highway until you say the way is clear. The child rebels, runs into the highway, and is killed. When the police come, you tell them you had no responsibility for the child's actions, because the child had free-will and chose to rebel.
Again, if I understand you, you assert God as "off the hook" for what goes wrong because, just as you permitted free-will in the analogy, He permits free-will to us. Let me know if I am not understanding you.
Are you a two year old?
Do y ou have the ability to know what God desires from you?
Or does God have to force HIS will on you?
When you decide to sin,,,is it YOU that decided to sin, or did GOD decide for you to sin?
IF GOD MAKES THE DECISION FOR YOU TO SIN...
Then YOU are off the hook,,,not God.
Since the sin was not YOUR decision...how could you be responsible for it?
Calvinism makes all sinning that takes place the responsibility of GOD....and removes all culpability from us.
It's the opposite of what you understood.
2 Corinthians 5:10
10For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may be recompensed for his deeds in the body, according to what he has done, whether good or bad.
How can God recompense us for what WE HAVE DONE...
IF it is HE that determines our actions?
God commands of us what we cannot do. He commands us to be perfect, to rejoice always, to not grow weary of doing good, to not fear, to "take heart", etc. You have lived long enough to know at times these commands are beyond our capacity to obey. So with Augustine, we pray "Give what you command, and command what you will." The commands drive us towards desperate dependency on God, not a mustering of our will to obey.
Augustine again.
To be perfect means to be complete in our desires,,,,NOT to be perfect like Jesus was.
To rejoice means to be happy IN THE LORD,,, not to be happy according to what the world believes happiness is. I go through tribulation and am very sad at times...but I am always JOYFUL.
We should not grow weary of doing good. If we do it means we are doing beyond what we can handle and it is not of God.
That man A....from Hippo also said this:
“For a prohibition always increases an illicit desire so long as the love of and joy in holiness is too weak to conquer the inclination to sin...”
― Augustine of Hippo, City of God
Why would he say that our joy in holiness is too weak to conquer the inclination to sin
IF IT IS GOD'S WILL THAT WE SO SIN??
So does this mean that GOD IS TOO WEAK OR UNABLE
to make our love and joy strong?
Yes, calvinism sure does bring up a lot of interesting questons.