You probably know this but, here goes...
You are responsible because you were born in sin (Psalm 51:5) and therefore have a sin nature so, despite what "free will" people say, you cannot help but sinning because you are NOT free (Total Depravity) ... you are a slave to sin (Romans 6). It is our nature to sin. Since you sin you are responsible.
Agreed.
To clarify,,,we do not have to sin...but our whole life is a "sin" before we are born from above.
Now, like me, you probably think ... this is a rip-off. I have no opportunity to be sinless, I was born with it (ergo, there goes "free will" because I didn't chose this).
Being sinless in this life is impossible.
So you are responsible because you were born in Adam by imputation. (aside: Adam, you suck) It's like you were born an U.S. citizen and are responsible to U.S. law despite having no choice. Your parent chose for you.
We are not imputed with Adam's sin.
We are not responsible for our father's sins, but only for our own.
We suffer from the affects of Adam's sin, which cause the fall of all mankind.
Romans 5:12
Therefore, just as through one man sin entered into the world, and death through sin, and so death spread to all men, because all sinned—
Death spread to all men, because ALL SINNED,
not because Adam sinned. Adam caused us to become fallen, but we are not responsible for HIS sin.
5:14-17
Nevertheless death reigned from Adam until Moses, even over those who had not sinned in the likeness of the offense of Adam,
Our sins are not like the one of Adam.
Now, deeper into the question .... why did, in reform's opinion, God decide to set Adam up knowing he would fail. I answered by quoting Calvin, that was in a post to OZ .. post 329 ... difficult question beyond my pay grade. Maybe the answer is in Romans 9 ... your are the clay and I am the Potter, what right do you have to even question me (same answer basically given to Job in chapter 38 and 39. Maybe he did it to show his glory in displays of mercy, grace. In reform doctrine the purpose of God is the following: God purpose and man’s purpose are one and the same: to glorify God and enjoy himself forever.
The answer is not in Romans 9 regarding the Potter and the clay.
Romans 9 is not about individual salvation but is about corporate salvation.
It is speaking about the nation of Israel.
See the beginning of chapter 9 where it is clear Paul is speaking to his kinsmen regarding God's choice of them for His revelation and about how now the Gentiles will also come in and how the Israelites did not adhere to the Plan of God....(once again we encounter free will).
And if you care to know about the potter and the clay,,,which Paul's kinsmen understood immediately since they were very familiar with the O.T....you'll have to go back and read
Jeremiah 18 about how the Potter did not like how the Vessel turned out (the Jews) and made a new vessel (the Gentiles).
As to God's Glory being the purpose for our creation,
I have failed to understand why God would make humans, and most headed for hell, (thru Adam's sin) to Glorify Himself. How exactly does this glorify Him?
Here are two verses that speak about the glory of God:
Ephesians 3:16
16that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in the inner man,
2 Corinthians 4:15
15For all things are for your sakes, so that the grace which is spreading to more and more people may cause the giving of thanks to abound to the glory of God.
Every other verse in the N.T. speaks about the glory of God in a positive and edifying way. How does making Adam fail glorify God?
Aside: There great advantage/wisdom to God's planning everything and executing His plan. That way everything goes the way the all-wise person thinks it should go; rather than letting us idiots randomly determine events and God try to pick up the pieces. From a reform perspective we know the Father is taking care of EVERY DETAIL for His children/sheep (not so much the goats). From a 'free will' perspective I have no idea how "we know that God works all things together for the good of those who love Him, who are called according to His purpose. "
I'll make two comments...and this will also cover the very first paragraph of that long post of yours that I've been wanting to get to.
Romans 8:28 God works all together for the good for those that love Him. How? Because when we live according to God's purpose, we can know that whatever happens to us will be within God's will for us and we can trust that He is doing the right thing for us. Yes, we also believe in God's will for us. We are taught to pray in God's will and not in our own will. Jesus said that the Father's will be done, and not His in the Garden of Gethsemane.
If we love God, we can find some good in everything that happens to us. We've all had the experience of looking back on something bad and being able to see something good come from it. The unsaved cannot see this because they don't know about the love God has for us.
Second comment
You say God does not do so much for the goats in watching every detail in their lives.
I don't know how anyone could agree with this. God makes the rain fall on the just and the unjust.
Matthew 5:45
I find that both unsaved persons and saved persons get sick and have problems.
I don't believe the saved are any more fortunate,,,except that they have someone to pray to and to sustain them in their time of sadness.