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is marriage dead?

Christ_empowered

Christ_empowered

Member
I'm not trying to sound alarmist or anything, but it seems like marriage is optional and staying married is, too. We've become what my sociology class called a "stable, high divorce rate society." Whereas divorce was once stigmatized, its now a normal part of the life course for people in the US and other parts of the world. Also, the push towards gay marriage, particularly in the US, makes me wonder if marriage (as a contract and an institution) has become void of meaning.

Then again, I'm not married. Nor have I ever been married. I'm blessed because my parents took and continue to take marriage seriously as a personal commitment, a commitment to society, and a commitment to God.

Anyway, just up early, buzzed on gas station Frappuccinos, and thinking out loud, lol.
 
It really is sad, isn't it? The state of society is degrading. In today's secular world, marriage, a commitment to one another and to God, has indeed become meaningless. This commitment can be discarded as easily as a job.
 
I cant help but wonder if the apparent demise of marriage is really because SEX is readily available without a life long commitment being made.....?...maybe
 
March 15 was our 50th .... not all of the 50 years has been good/bad.
As Christians we do not teach our children the Biblical lessons of marriage. We are to busy playing on the edge of the world view... How many of us bring into our homes the world view from TV?
When was the last time you heard your pastor speak in depth on the Christian marriage? How many pew sitters see the relationship of Christ and the Church as a marriage?
 
Sadly in terms of our secular society I think marriage is pretty close to being dead. At least marriage in the way scripture indicates God intended it to be. I'm sure there are a ton of reasons for this, but really, what could the church have expected in a world that generally doesn't honor or believe in God? Why should people in general have been expected to uphold marriage based on Christian principles when the majority of them aren't Christians? I think in past generations there were many reasons for marriages staying together that had little to do with God. But today, it's sad indeed.

Even my own wife who claimed to be a Christian thought nothing of becoming an adulteress, and seemed genuinely surprised when she admitted it to me and found out I had a problem with that! She had been indoctrinated in the ways of the world by a new set of friends and didn't have enough love for God to put him first. Sadly, even though most won't admit it many married Christians have the same attitude she had. That's proven by the fact that the divorce rate among professing, church going Christians is actually a bit higher than that of the secular public! When THAT is our testimony as a whole, how can we expect any better from the secular world?
 
I think undermining marriage has been rife since the fall. It's one of Yahweh's initial instructions in the Garden and satan has been attacking it ever since. I wonder if Jesus would tell us the same as He said to the Jewish leaders who put away their wives.
 
I would not say marriage is dead. There are many God-centered marriages that exist and are thriving to the fullness of marriage as it's intended to be.

The only thing that seems to have changed is the value of marriage in our secular society. Culturally marriage, as an institution, has become openly "relevant" in an age of relativism, or relative-enlightenment, in the secular worldly culture.

This is nothing new. It's just something that has become seemingly mainstream in the world today, where things, once considered taboo, are seen now as normative, like gay marriage, casual marriage as nothing more than an agreement, and divorce for the sake of convenience. All these are not aspects of marriage, but rather that witch is relative to the values of fallen mankind in the world.

One thing I think we need to get away from as Christians, or at least be mindful of, is our almost obsessive measuring of the secular culture as if that is the basis for our faith, or what it is true. Just because the world is normalizing an idea, does not make it true. We are to follow God, not the crowd. The test of our faith in found in God, not what seems to be the moral shape of the world.

I know many of us feel threatened, perhaps afraid, and saddened by the things we see in the world today concerning marriage. Don't be. We may weep for the world, we may speak out and we should, but the world does not dictate truth to Gods children. It never has and never will. So, lets not let it.

There will be times when we will feel alone, outcast from the world. Certainly times when the world will be in obvious disagreement with the church and God. This should not be a surprise to any of us, yet we sometimes act shocked.

Trying to "fix" the world is not our obligation, it's Gods. Our obligation, in fact our privilege, is to follow God, and I believe we do more for the world when we stay out of the worlds ways and follow God. It says more to the world about God and about our faith when we are simply living in faith for the one who is keeping us.
 
reba said:
March 15 was our 50th .... not all of the 50 years has been good/bad.
As Christians we do not teach our children the Biblical lessons of marriage. We are to busy playing on the edge of the world view... How many of us bring into our homes the world view from TV?
When was the last time you heard your pastor speak in depth on the Christian marriage? How many pew sitters see the relationship of Christ and the Church as a marriage?
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Amen. There's a line from a Phillips, Craig, and Dean song "help me be a living bible, Lord, that my little boy can read". I sure want to show my children marriage can be very fulfilling, one of the best things that happened to me. My wife and I were "unequally yolked" when we married. I came around though and we will be celebrating 19 years in a few months. We've learned unconditional love might be too high expectation, having unconditional togetherness is easy. Being able to make each other laugh sure helps too.
 
cftx1 said:
I cant help but wonder if the apparent demise of marriage is really because SEX is readily available without a life long commitment being made.....?...maybe
Click to expand...

That's implying people only ever got married in order to be allowed to have sex. :lol

I'd rather suspect marrriage seems less relevant today because education and social and finacial security are readily available even for singles or single moms and dads.
Homestly, if it wasn't for the christian value of marriage I wouldn't see any reason for getting married. You don't need some legal act in order to have committment.
 
Claudya said:
That's implying people only ever got married in order to be allowed to have sex. :lol

I'd rather suspect marrriage seems less relevant today because education and social and finacial security are readily available even for singles or single moms and dads.
Homestly, if it wasn't for the christian value of marriage I wouldn't see any reason for getting married. You don't need some legal act in order to have committment.
Click to expand...

True and I suspect Adam and Eve had no wedding ceremony. :D However I also suspect any couple who have sexual relations should be considered partners for life.
 
yeah, Danus has made several good points. I think that I, for one, look to the secular culture with a sort of Chicken Little, "the sky is falling!" sort of mentality. Truth is, following Jesus is primarily about inner-transformation, "the renewal of your mind," not political action and/or social change.
 
Danus said:
I would not say marriage is dead. There are many God-centered marriages that exist and are thriving to the fullness of marriage as it's intended to be.

The only thing that seems to have changed is the value of marriage in our secular society. Culturally marriage, as an institution, has become openly "relevant" in an age of relativism, or relative-enlightenment, in the secular worldly culture.

This is nothing new. It's just something that has become seemingly mainstream in the world today, where things, once considered taboo, are seen now as normative, like gay marriage, casual marriage as nothing more than an agreement, and divorce for the sake of convenience. All these are not aspects of marriage, but rather that witch is relative to the values of fallen mankind in the world.

One thing I think we need to get away from as Christians, or at least be mindful of, is our almost obsessive measuring of the secular culture as if that is the basis for our faith, or what it is true. Just because the world is normalizing an idea, does not make it true. We are to follow God, not the crowd. The test of our faith in found in God, not what seems to be the moral shape of the world.

I know many of us feel threatened, perhaps afraid, and saddened by the things we see in the world today concerning marriage. Don't be. We may weep for the world, we may speak out and we should, but the world does not dictate truth to Gods children. It never has and never will. So, lets not let it.

There will be times when we will feel alone, outcast from the world. Certainly times when the world will be in obvious disagreement with the church and God. This should not be a surprise to any of us, yet we sometimes act shocked.

Trying to "fix" the world is not our obligation, it's Gods. Our obligation, in fact our privilege, is to follow God, and I believe we do more for the world when we stay out of the worlds ways and follow God. It says more to the world about God and about our faith when we are simply living in faith for the one who is keeping us.
Click to expand...

Very well said. :clap

I think today's Christian underestimates...or perhaps doesn't even believe... how effective we (the Church) would be if we concentrated on being salt and light, rather than on what the world is doing. Our mission has remained unchanged in the past 2000 years...to carry the gospel to the world. Lately, it seems as though we are far more concerned with making the world be "more comfortable" for us to exist and raise our families in. Rather than preaching Christ, many seem to be preaching for the return of the Nelsons and the Cleavers and everyone going to church on Sundays and all unpleasant things remaining firmly in the closet with the gays.

The issue of marriage and how it has shifted from the foundation of the family to being attacked as unimportant to just about everyone but gays has truly highlighted this mindset within the church. We need to keep in mind that we can....by force of majority (although I don't think Christians are in the majority any longer), by political activism, or by other methods make laws and force people to maintain what we believe to be a "correct" lifestyle... but, unless people are being transformed by the renewal of the Holy Spirit... it's all for nothing.
 
I've been divorced twice, but truly wasn't as close to Jesus as I now am. Before going into my third marriage I sought God to give me a Godly husband as my mindset was now on Christ and what He wanted for me. We have been married sixteen years now and Jesus s the center of our marriage. Not to say we have never had our tiffs, but when we do now we work through them and never go to bed angry. I wrote a class on marriage after my third marriage to help counsel other Christians and below is just a part of that class. It's to long to post the full of it here.

For a good marriage to work one should study 2 Corinthians 6:14 be ye not unequally yoked together with non-believers for what fellowship hath righteous with unrighteous, and what communion has light with darkness. If you are a believer in Jesus Christ then you need to choose a mate that also believes in the faith of Christ. In some marriages people do not enter into a relationship with Christ being the center of it, but maybe one of them come to know the Lord and the other one refuses to have that personal relationship with Christ then we go back to what 1 Corinthians 7:12-16 says. If the unbelieving partner leaves the believing partner then this frees the believing partner from the bondage of the vows of marriage and they are free to marry again.

Before ever getting married take time to really know each other and establish a friendship that consist of trust and belief in each other. Allow Christ to be the center of your friendship and this will allow you to begin a marriage that is totally Christ centered. Always resolve your problems with the Holy Ghost guidance through the word and you will always have a good marriage. Always be opened and honest with each other for this builds trust in the relationship, but if that trust is broken there is no relationship. Love each other unconditionally as Christ loves us and forgives us our faults. As long as we live in this flesh we will sin at times, but when you acknowledge those sins and ask for forgiveness God will always forgive us. Always be ready to forgive each other seventy times seven, Matthew 22:21,22, and not only forgive, but forget the sin as God remembers our sins no more when we repent of them. The outside appearance will always change and beauty may fade, but it is the heart of the person we are to love and the heart will never change as long as the love of Christ dwells within it.
 
That's implying people only ever got married in order to be allowed to have sex. :lol

I'd rather suspect marrriage seems less relevant today because education and social and finacial security are readily available even for singles or single moms and dads.
Homestly, if it wasn't for the christian value of marriage I wouldn't see any reason for getting married. You don't need some legal act in order to have committment.
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Not implying.....pretty sure that in the USA, LOVE celebrated by readily available God ordained sex within marriage is still the initial reason why chaste christian men and women get married. Those who think that they can have sex with whomever will let them, without being married to them must think that their creator turns a blind eye to their sin. Oh yeah...SEX OUTSIDE OF MARRIAGE AND PREMARITAL SEX IS SIN. What I am implying is that many don't get married because they are indeed engaging in premarital sex .

If sex isn't key why aren't all those people who are living together or "with benefits" just platonic friends instead? Just sayin'
 
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