My 14 Year Old Heading to Public High School

[Mike]

We've had our son and two younger daughters in the same Christian school since preschool We've waited for God to open the door, which is closed now due mostly because of the cost, to give us a sign that we should press on. We've applied to our church's financial aid, but weren't granted much. So it looks like public high school.

Neither he nor we are too vexed over it, because we've toured the school and know some friends who send their kids there. This is a big step, because his K-8 school had about 200 kids there, and the high school has almost 2000. He is a good kid though, even though he's going through those teenage, bored with church years. He still has a heart for the Lord, and he's always been a "leader" in his class rather than a "follower".

So I'm wondering if there are parents who have faced the same change. Please, please, if you have also only had Christian or home schooling, reserve you comments about public school if it's only been: I heard this, or I hear that, etc. This is a big deal to us, and I'd like to hear from people who have made the switch or parents who have had kids in public school and have first hand experience.

Your input would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks!

 

[bigllama]

I actually have recently went through the same thing. I was at a Christian school from Kindergarten to grade 9. To make a long story short, the school was going through an uncertain time and was forced to relocate. Some of the teachers left, and many parents felt the quality of education decreased, so I switched to a public school.

It was quite a difficult transition for me, partly because I'm kind of a shy, and not very social person and didn't make many friends. If your son is more of an outgoing, friendly type, he won't have trouble making friends. He should be careful in choosing who to befriend though, as there will for sure be people who smoke, drink, and drop f-bombs every sentence. I live in a very safe and and relatively wealthy neighbourhood, but there are still many who are like that.

I went through a kind of a culture shock too, much bigger school, more people, different people etc... but you get used to that pretty quickly. I would strongly suggest joining the Christian Club/fellowship if there is one, always nice to have people with similar views and moral standards as you do, and a great place to make new friends.

 

[Mike]

biglamma, as far as the approach of secular schools in Canada in teaching evolution/creation and the sciences, I wonder where the similarities begin and end with that of public schools in the U.S. However, you probably have half the side, as do I.

But the main thrust was the social aspect, and you gave me a great perspective from someone who did more than parent through it but lived it. Thank you for your input. He will definitely be looking into Christian clubs, but the way things work here, I would guess he'll have to look for non-school sponsored clubs.

Good to have you on the boards!

mjjcb

 

[bigllama]

I moved over to public school in grade 10, and they haven't taught any evolution or creation in any of the sciences. There was, however, a lot of evolution and how we came from apelike creatures in Anthropology.

 

[jasoncran]

I moved over to public school in grade 10, and they haven't taught any evolution or creation in any of the sciences. There was, however, a lot of evolution and how we came from apelike creatures in Anthropology.

the same in cultural anthropology in college.

 

[kismetshaloam]

While I am not a parent, I'm almost 17. I go to a public charter and I love it. I'm also not Christian so I don't know if you still want my opinion but I like the social aspect of it because my school is very diverse and does amazing things for the students. I think it can be a positive experience for sure, and will help your child grow as a person. It's important to get to understand and know people who believe different things, and learn to find common ground. I went to private school before high school and I really enjoy h igh school. There are plenty of students who are Christian who attend my school, a large majority and they seem to have no problem being at a school with students of other beliefs. I'm good friends with a lot of them. We have different beliefs about certain things but we either try to understand each other better or agree to disagree. I would definitely be in favor if you know and like the school.

 

[minetonight]

In my public high school, we are taught evolution in biology and anthro, which I think is great. I am an evolutionist myself and so I think it's good that actual science is being taught rather than belief in science based courses.

Public schools are not bad at all if you go to the right ones. Inner city schools are likely to be bad for anybody, whereas schools in richer neighborhoods are better. My school is in a rural area, though it houses over 1200 students. Public schools also have zero tolerance for racism and homophobia. Kids who are abusive towards homosexuals or people of other races face a suspension.

 

[Mike]

In my public high school, we are taught evolution in biology and anthro, which I think is great. I am an evolutionist myself and so I think it's good that actual science is being taught rather than belief in science based courses.

Public schools are not bad at all if you go to the right ones. Inner city schools are likely to be bad for anybody, whereas schools in richer neighborhoods are better. My school is in a rural area, though it houses over 1200 students. Public schools also have zero tolerance for racism and homophobia. Kids who are abusive towards homosexuals or people of other races face a suspension.

While I appreciate your input, I posted this to elicit responses from a Christian perspective in going from a Christian to a public school. Given the information you posted, I would guess you're an agnostic rather than a Christian who has somehow reconciled evolution with our faith since you didn't mention anything about faith. I am concerned with increased violence, although this would likely be the case regardless of where he went to school, given the older set of kids. But, I'm confident if we stay involved and in touch, this will be minimized. We are in a suburban area as opposed to an inner-city one, so this could be tempered but not eliminated.

Just want to make sure, because I saw you also posted in the college age forum. This forum requires that you are (or have been) married or have children.

 

[Nick]

Just a quick note people, there has been some new rules added to the Parenting & Marraige forum:

1- You must be married and/or have offspring and...

2- You must be 18.

 

[Josie1000]

I was in public school almost entirely through grade school (excluding one year in a Catholic school). Yes, public school may be scary for your child and you. Your child will be subject to many new things, people and ideas. But this can be good! If school is meant to prepare you for the world then public is one step toward that. The real world is not filled with nothing but other Christians like a Christian private school would be (or people wealth enough to afford it for that matter). Do you really want the first time your child is surround by these new ideas and concepts to be when they go to college? At a time when you aren't there to support them and answer questions they may have. Embrace the diversity and culture of public school but be open with your children and be there to answer his questions. Ask him how is days went and be prepared to help him through difficult questions he is posed with at school (such as evolution).

 

[Mike]

Josie, thanks for the reply, and thanks for joining our board! Great to have you here,

We just switched everything around on the board and things are not working as they should. Please be patient as the issues are ironed out. We don't have any posts since mid-August that carried over... yet.

I agree with your points. I posted this last spring when we decided on his high school. He's been to a week of "integration" prior to the school year starting, and we're all much more comfortable. He made the feeder team for the freshman baseball team, so that's great! And he's in honors classes, so hopefully he'll have kids around him that take school a little more seriously.

Believe me, just because people go to a "Christian" school, doesn't necessarily mean they all behave as Christians. Some are there because they were having problems at their old schools. And I definitely agree that having this time when he is still under our roof to get some exposure is better than launching him from private school to a going-away college. That weighed heavily in our consideration.

Please be patient with our site. In time you'll see a much more active and functional board. We are struggling to say the least.

 

[Shimei]

We home schooled our children until they reached sophmores. They then each chose to attend public school. They survived and it was a real education for then. Their relationship with the Lord was well established so the challenge was the poor quality of academics (my daughter said that she did more math in one day at home than they did in an entire week at HS) and the dis-socialization. They were both in the top of their classes academically and neither finished HS but transferred to college their senior years. (The HS would not accept their home school grades). The real challenge was for them to get through the pettiness and drama of their classmates behavior. Evolution was not a problem. We taught them Scientific Creationism before they went to HS (have a PhD in physics).

 

[farouk]

M:

I feel for you in this.

Although my wife and I haven't facing what you are facing at the moment, I guess there is always the broader context.

The young person from a Christian home who is going to a secondary school needs to be compassed about with prayer, prayer and more prayer.

S/he needs to get also at home what is so often missing in the school, which is thorough and regular Bible reading.

Just as prayer and Bible reading are bulwarks of the Christian life more generally, so also in the context of young ppl at school or college they need to be cornerstones.

Nothing new about all this; I guess I'm simply repeating time honored things. I hope it goes okay; majoring in the majors and not the minors, and don't worry if he wants to dye his hair or get an earring: it's the inward aspect that needs to be continually dealt with through prayer and the Scriptures.

 

[Mike]

They survived and it was a real education for then. Their relationship with the Lord was well established so the challenge was the poor quality of academics (my daughter said that she did more math in one day at home than they did in an entire week at HS) and the dis-socialization. They were both in the top of their classes academically and neither finished HS but transferred to college their senior years. (The HS would not accept their home school grades). The real challenge was for them to get through the pettiness and drama of their classmates behavior. Evolution was not a problem. We taught them Scientific Creationism before they went to HS (have a PhD in physics).

True, true and true! We're finding this a positive experience in that he is confronted with teachings and kids that aren't consistent with our faith. With this "test of his commitment" happening under our roof, we have the opportunity for some meaningful talking points. We see clearly that his private Christian school through 8th grade prepared him well for public high school. He was always a strong student, but he nailed straight A's in his first quarter in honors classes with upper-class-men without much effort either. It's frustrating to me that he hardly ever has any homework, but how can I argue with results? Another frustrating thing is the lack of communication from this school of 1600 students. In our smaller private school, we were locked in and knew everyone. Here, we have to proactively reach out to people who don't know us at all, otherwise we don't hear anything. :gah

M:

I feel for you in this.

Although my wife and I haven't facing what you are facing at the moment, I guess there is always the broader context.

The young person from a Christian home who is going to a secondary school needs to be compassed about with prayer, prayer and more prayer.

S/he needs to get also at home what is so often missing in the school, which is thorough and regular Bible reading.

Just as prayer and Bible reading are bulwarks of the Christian life more generally, so also in the context of young ppl at school or college they need to be cornerstones.

Nothing new about all this; I guess I'm simply repeating time honored things. I hope it goes okay; majoring in the majors and not the minors, and don't worry if he wants to dye his hair or get an earring: it's the inward aspect that needs to be continually dealt with through prayer and the Scriptures.

I hear ya, farouk! We want to let him be his own person, but we don't want him to forsake his identity as a Christian. My parting words to him everyone morning are "Joshua, remember who you are. You are a child of God." There is much prayer going on, and he's said he feels it. Some victory stories with this... He's brought some of his friends and his girl friend to events with our church's youth group! And he is also active in the school's "Christian Fellowship Club".

He's always been a leader, but we're fully aware that there's the risk that he will fall under students with greater influence, so we press on.

 

[thecounsellors]

Our daughter survived only by attending a regular Christian youth group.

 

[farouk]

Mike:

Pick your battles, is often a watchword, if the young person is basically respecting the majors of your home principles.

(As you would well know, of course...)

 

[farouk]

Our daughter survived only by attending a regular Christian youth group.

thecounsellors:

...and again, Christian youth groups organizers do well to emphasize the inward and spiritual challenges rather than dress codes: in such groups you might see quite a few examples of ring varieties and dye, etc., but it's the truth and prayerfulness aspect that needs to be paramount.

 

[jnlf1010]

My two sons have always attended public high schools when they grew up. I don't know as they've ever had any problems. We lived in a fairly conservative part of the country so didn't experience too many problems.

I have worked in all kinds of systems as a speech therapist and have always wanted to start a Christian school where parents prayed over the students for their academic achievement.

So, I guess it's actually up to you. Students need a Christian witnesses whether they attend Christian or public schools. I do know that there are Christian clubs in most public schools. Have you ever heard of "meet me at the flagpole" Students gather at the flag pole before and after school hours to pray.

 

[Mike]

jnlf, thank you for your post. He's now half-way through his first year, and things are going incredibly well. His private Christian schooling prepared him tremendously, as he's in all honors classes and earning excellent grades.

More importantly is the faith he brings to this community. They have a Christian Fellowship Group that meets at a non-denominational church right next to the school, and he's also brought some friends to the youth group functions at our church! He has a pretty serious girlfriend who he brings to all kinds of church functions and youth gatherings.

It's not perfect, I know. He encounters many kids who don't have a spiritual compass, but he's kind of a leader, and I've been amazed to see him influence others rather than be influenced by them. Praise God!!!

 

[handy]

This is good to hear, Mike. Not surprising though, because he was brought up in the nurture of the Lord, and had a good foundation.

But, it's a real blessing to see the kids taking on the faith and moving onward with it on their own!