My best friend - an opposite sex

[Classik]

My best friend - an opposite sex

okay. This is not about me...I want our views. ;)

Most people do not feel comfortable when a guy has a female (opposite sex) as his best friend or when a female has a male (an opposite sex) as her best friend.

What are they afraid of? :dunno
Suspicious?

I don't see anything wrong with it. (I remember in those days when those leaders made it as a rule: your discipler must be the same sex with you . Can't you disciple an opposite sex?).


Why always suspecting the youth?:bigfrown This whole thing ....(notion that: youthfulness is synonymous with immorality. Detestable!!!)

 

[Gordon]

I don't think there is anything wrong with it now. When I was very stupid I thought it was lame to be friends and not have a physical relationship with a woman. I am friends with women now.

 

[Nick]

I have some good female friends (probably not my "best" friends, but good friends). I don't think it's a problem, but it could get complicated if you're alone with her and you're in a relationship or marriage with someone else.

 

[Classik]

I have some good female friends (probably not my "best" friends, but good friends). I don't think it's a problem, but it could get complicated if you're alone with her and you're in a relationship or marriage with someone else.

VERY TRUE

 

[farouk]

There are some really nice Christian women with whom I have been on friendly terms for decades and this is as far as it goes.

Of course, when it comes to things like hospitality, the company of other people, too, is good.

 

[Grazer]

I have some good female friends (probably not my "best" friends, but good friends). I don't think it's a problem, but it could get complicated if you're alone with her and you're in a relationship or marriage with someone else.

I've never found that to be an issue. Either I have a very trusting fiance or everyone knows where they stand with me.

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[Classik]

Some jealous women may find that a treat ;)

 

[Nick]

I've never found that to be an issue. Either I have a very trusting fiance or everyone knows where they stand with me.

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Not that I really have any experience with this, but I've heard by many that it can be an issue. I'm thinking this is more of an issue for marriage.

 

[Grazer]

Not that I really have any experience with this, but I've heard by many that it can be an issue. I'm thinking this is more of an issue for marriage.

What kind of issue?

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[Nick]

What kind of issue?

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A general perception that you and another woman are 'hanging out' (alone) and the woman is not your wife - I think at least some people in Christian circles may perceive this the wrong way and assume it's something that it isn't.

I know it would be very awkward if I and one of my best friend's girlfriend hung out alone. It's just a bit strange.

 

[evenifigoalone]

I have friends who are male. Most of them aren't particularly close friends, but there's one guy I confide in sometimes. He's in a relationship with someone else. But then he's also an online friend, so there's no implication to worry about.

 

[Bfnaught]

My wife was watching Dr. Phil a few weeks ago and a guy was there talking about his concerns for his female best friend who was partying way too much. I made a comment to my wife that the guy must be in love with the woman because men don't have female best friends unless they are married to them, or want to be married to them. She thought I was ridiculous until Dr. Phil asked the guy if he had romantic feelings towards the woman and he admitted he did.

Men and women can be friends, but best friends... I don't know. I just don't think most men are wired that way.

 

[Classik]

Maybe the word 'best' needs to be defined.

 

[thisnumbersdisconnected]

My best friend - an opposite sex

okay. This is not about me...I want our views. ;)

Most people do not feel comfortable when a guy has a female (opposite sex) as his best friend or when a female has a male (an opposite sex) as her best friend.

What are they afraid of? :dunno
Suspicious?

I don't see anything wrong with it. (I remember in those days when those leaders made it as a rule: your discipler must be the same sex with you . Can't you disciple an opposite sex?).


Why always suspecting the youth?:bigfrown This whole thing ....(notion that: youthfulness is synonymous with immorality. Detestable!!!)

I don't know where you get the idea that people are suspicious or afraid of someone who has an opposite-gender best friend. Personal experience? I've known people who have had an opposite-gender best friend all my life, both married and single. I've had an opposite-gender best friend who was not my wife. We served in the military together. There was nothing to be suspicious or afraid of, and my wife knew that.

I think you're reaching on this one. I don't know anyone it bothers.

 

[for_his_glory]

It should be a given that a husband and wife should be each others best friends, but sadly not the case in some relationships. I have always had more male friends then female in my life. I find I have an easier time talking to men than I do with women, except my two good female friends. I see nothing wrong to have close male of female friends even if you are married as many had these friends before they were married and there is no need to drop a good friendship just because you are married as long as each of you in marriage trust each other.

 

[Blev]

A general perception that you and another woman are 'hanging out' (alone) and the woman is not your wife - I think at least some people in Christian circles may perceive this the wrong way and assume it's something that it isn't.

I know it would be very awkward if I and one of my best friend's girlfriend hung out alone. It's just a bit strange.

I don't think a person should hang out with the opposite sex alone even if it is innocent. Things happen that are not planned and as much as we would not intentionally get involved you can't trust the flesh or the devil. If they want to be out with their friend the need to bring their wife or girlfriend along.

 

[Nick]

Blev, That is the counsel I have received over the years from Christian psycologists (Dr. Dobson and Minereth Meyer New Life) and Pastors. And my experience as a young man of 21 and new in Christ proves that counsel true. You can have the most innocent and plutonic intentions, but things can and do happen. Always making the meeting with other people or in public eye can't be beat. If one is married, such a meeting should always have the spouse there and if the spouse has problems with the relationship then the best friend relationship should cease. Today's generations are more communual than my generation and you young people practice dbl and trple dating much more than we ever did and your social networking is mega more due to the technology advancments, but that does not change human nature and the battle with sexual temptation which especially burdens young people.

Well said

 

[Blev]

Even pastors now adays have been cautioned to never counsel a woman alone but have the wife, another female leader or secretary always be in there with them. Then there will not be any question what was said or done by either party. Its the safest way. Some even say keep the door open not closed

 

[Classik]

I see nothing wrong to have close male of female friends even if you are married as many had these friends before they were married and there is no need to drop a good friendship just because you are married as long as each of you in marriage trust each other.

Goood.

 

[Classik]

I don't think a person should hang out with the opposite sex alone even if it is innocent. Things happen that are not planned and as much as we would not intentionally get involved you can't trust the flesh or the devil. If they want to be out with their friend the need to bring their wife or girlfriend along.

Hmmmmmn