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The Girl's Thread

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Deborah13 said:
Yup
That's so that they would get splash with the mud from passing carriages and later cars. :biggrin2
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Yup yup. I know these things too. The lady is not supposed to even exit the car to give the man the chance to round the car and open her door for her. At dinner, she does not pour her own drink, nor retrieve the napkin from the floor that she dropped. Or even seat herself, but I think (?) we all know that one.

I've heard that if one takes his lady to Italy for vacation or whatever, that the more that the man is correct in doing these things for his lady, the more complimentary the vendors and shop owners will be to them. I do not know if that is true or not, just something I've heard.

Now, the lady has a certain part in all of this, and she can not be too anxious and jump the gun in any of it, which would prevent the man from performing his gentlemanly duty. My ex would let me do most things for her, but was the tomboy type (not a complaint, I like to wrestle!), but she would jump the gun at times and even become slightly irritated if I made a move to counter her, like if I said, oh let me pour that for you babe, or whatever. I wasn't trying to be condescending to her, but merely be the perfect gentleman.

I think it's a wonderful thing to behold the presence of a couple which is a mix of perfect gentleman and lady. It's almost choreographed, like a dance...Very cool. But today's feminist movement has practically destroyed the dance steps and sometimes men who are trying, get their good shoes scuffed up and toes stepped on by an ignorant female who insists on pouring her own drink or whatever. Not that I can't go with the flow and the changing times but I have noticed with bemusement, that the equal rights usually stop before paying the check, lol!

:rofl2
 
Kathi said:
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I have seen this statement alot.Very wordly.
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How very perceptive of you sister! Indeed, if one were to hold God first in their life, plenty of women would still make history...but the deception of the world seems to extend the urge of equal rights beyond God Himself even. A very sad sad thing.
 
Kathi said:
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Yeah. See here? We have this equal rights movement thing, wherein the women have perverted the cause themselves by wanting the man to pay for everything, and leave them to their own devices in everything else. Probably where the expression of 'gold digger' came from.
 
Edward said:
Yeah. See here? We have this equal rights movement thing, wherein the women have perverted the cause themselves by wanting the man to pay for everything, and leave them to their own devices in everything else. Probably where the expression of 'gold digger' came from.
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I think that your statement here is a misconception of the feminist movement. The feminist movement say a woman should NOT rely on the man. She is very capable of taking care of herself and her children if need be.
The traditional way says that a woman cannot do these things and it was men who promoted this assumption, not women and not God. Father's looking for husband's who could take care of their daughters and grandchildren And even to advance the father's power and financial positions. Daughters were often used as pawns to consolidated businesses and farms.
It seems to me that Proverbs 31 is quite clear as to what God knows and teaches about the abilities of a woman.
 
Deborah13 said:
I think that your statement here is a misconception of the feminist movement. The feminist movement say a woman should NOT rely on the man. She is very capable of taking care of herself and her children if need be.
The traditional way says that a woman cannot do these things and it was men who promoted this assumption, not women and not God. Father's looking for husband's who could take care of their daughters and grandchildren And even to advance the father's power and financial positions. Daughters were often used as pawns to consolidated businesses and farms.
It seems to me that Proverbs 31 is quite clear as to what God knows and teaches about the abilities of a woman.
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Yes,it is not healthy for a man to marry a woman just to get a mother for his kids and to cook him some meals and clean his house.When you have blended families it can be very difficult.You need to find someone who is going to love your children with all their heart.You don't want an evil step-mother.And believe me they are out there.
A woman needs to know that she is ok without a man.She needs to ask God for security and self assurance.Sometimes woman think they are nothing without a man.Sometimes she will pick the wrong person and the first person who looks at her twice.Let God do the choosing.
If a person is in a position where the relationship has broken up.Divorce,death of a spouse,spit-up that person should first of all pray to God to guard their heart.They should not even get into another relationship for at least 2 years or you could go into a rebound relationship which is not good.There is too much baggage.
Of course we are talking about a person who is a Christian in these scenerios.
 
Kathi said:
Yes,it is not healthy for a man to marry a woman just to get a mother for his kids and to cook him some meals and clean his house.When you have blended families it can be very difficult.You need to find someone who is going to love your children with all their heart.You don't want an evil step-mother.And believe me they are out there.
A woman needs to know that she is ok without a man.She needs to ask God for security and self assurance.Sometimes woman think they are nothing without a man.Sometimes she will pick the wrong person and the first person who looks at her twice.Let God do the choosing.
If a person is in a position where the relationship has broken up.Divorce,death of a spouse,spit-up that person should first of all pray to God to guard their heart.They should not even get into another relationship for at least 2 years or you could go into a rebound relationship which is not good.There is too much baggage.
Of course we are talking about a person who is a Christian in these scenerios.
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I agree that trusting God is essential to finding the right Christian man. However, your advice is wise even for the non-Christian person. Here's an example of what I mean using your wisdom.

A woman was married to a man who is popular with women and he cheats on her more than once.
There is a divorce. Usually one of two things happen the second time around.
She either marries the same type of man again or....
She marries the complete opposite personality. She chooses the man who doesn't leave her side, he is overly possessive of her. But because she has trust issues and/or low self-esteem, or lack of knowledge she doesn't see the signs of an abusive personality and marries too quickly.

Men are not immune to doing the same thing.
I believe this is why so many second marriages fail, the rate is actually higher than with first marriages.
 
Deborah13 said:
I think that your statement here is a misconception of the feminist movement. The feminist movement say a woman should NOT rely on the man. She is very capable of taking care of herself and her children if need be.
The traditional way says that a woman cannot do these things and it was men who promoted this assumption, not women and not God. Father's looking for husband's who could take care of their daughters and grandchildren And even to advance the father's power and financial positions. Daughters were often used as pawns to consolidated businesses and farms.
It seems to me that Proverbs 31 is quite clear as to what God knows and teaches about the abilities of a woman.
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:lol Oh I don't have a misconception of it, that was sort've tongue in cheek because from what I've seen, the desire for equal rights stops when the check comes to the table. I've never had a girl insist on paying, lol. I don't mind paying, I'm just sayin'...:lol
 
Yes,it is not healthy for a man to marry a woman just to get a mother for his kids and to cook him some meals and clean his house.
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Oh, but a wife is soo much more than that! My next wife, I am going to help her cook and clean a lot. Sometimes i will even let her sit down and i will cook! :)

Have more to say but gotta run!

Ok, I'm back. Sold an A/C unit! Yay! Anyway, Cooking, cleaning, the mans work...it's all a means to an end. The day's not over when the work is done, now it can begin! (this was my mistake in my first marriage but NOT my 2nd!) The housewife works all day too at home, while the man's working. When the man comes home, he's done, but her day gets harder because she is now caring for him also?! No fair. Not next time brothers and sisters. I'll help her cook or do it myself while she sits down (at least some of the time!) She'll get breakfast in bed once a week, not once a year! She's my sweetheart, not my maid...
 
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Deborah13 said:
I agree that trusting God is essential to finding the right Christian man. However, your advice is wise even for the non-Christian person. Here's an example of what I mean using your wisdom.

A woman was married to a man who is popular with women and he cheats on her more than once.
There is a divorce. Usually one of two things happen the second time around.
She either marries the same type of man again or....
She marries the complete opposite personality. She chooses the man who doesn't leave her side, he is overly possessive of her. But because she has trust issues and/or low self-esteem, or lack of knowledge she doesn't see the signs of an abusive personality and marries too quickly.

Men are not immune to doing the same thing.
I believe this is why so many second marriages fail, the rate is actually higher than with first marriages.
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It is really common to marry the same kind of guy.Alot of times they are not even aware of the problem.Maybe after marrying 3 jerks she thinks Now why do I keep doing this?And unfortunately many women don't get it and keep doing it over and over.
 
Edward said:
:lol Oh I don't have a misconception of it, that was sort've tongue in cheek because from what I've seen, the desire for equal rights stops when the check comes to the table. I've never had a girl insist on paying, lol. I don't mind paying, I'm just sayin'...:lol
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That just shows who you haven't dated.
 
Deborah13 said:
That just shows who you haven't dated.
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That is very true. I was married for 26 years and have dated since the split, but not a whole heck of a lot. (I'm pretty picky, lol). Nevertheless, if a lady would insist on paying, I wouldn't argue with her, lol.

Apparently, i have either been extremely lucky, or extremely blessed with respect to women in my life. I have not experienced many of the difficult situations that many others have to endure, that I read and hear about. Praise the Lord for that!

One thing I did when I was young. I made a pact with myself that each time I split for some reason with a female, to make sure that the next one was better. Always upgrade, always recognize the mistakes that I made and make effort to not make the same mistakes with my next girl. I've done good at this.

I think good advice for young ladies who hope to be loved and married, is to try to not fall in love. It seems so many times, that they give all of themselves to a man prematurely and wind up being hurt. This is tragic in my eyes. I think, that if they try not to fall in love in their search for Mr. Right...it is a good defense and would stop so many tears and heartaches from happening. Then when a Godly and true man does come along and truly falls in love with them....defenses or not, they will also, for there is no defense against true Love.

And young men? If you're not ready to marry that young girl...leave her alone. That's someones wife. (Is what I told to my sons...). They said "she's not married!" to which I replied, She's someones future wife, respect that.
 
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