What is the best thing to do when you hate someone?

[jasonc]

I asked for evidence of this statement.

Yes repentance.

As I said the bible clearly teaches that without repentance there is no forgiveness.
Yet many Christians ignore this ans say that it teaches that Christians must forgive no matter what.
That is not a biblical teaching.

Don't confuse forgiveness with an act on their part to change behavior and us being punching bags.

The man who raped my sister ,I hated him,I let that go .he many years later apologized to my mother .he will never face a sentence as no evidence could be presented . I don't like him .

Yet before he did such act .I harbored hate and let it go

 

[Christ_empowered]

I’m getting there. My interpretation of Scripture is that one is to forgive because believers have been forgiven. Different believers have different takes on how forgiveness should play out in various scenarios. I dunno ?‍

My problem in doing forgiveness is that I’m labeled and such so I deal with various levels of friction and such in day to day life. It’s making it more difficult to just take up my plow and push forward but then again…

I can’t do it but Jesus can. I think that may be part of the point?

 

[Hopeful]

No a grudge come out of a feeling of resentment, a grudge left to fester will end in hate.

That is in essence what I just wrote.

The same way we are commanded to pray for persecutor's and people we don't personally know.

How can we pray for folks we don't forgive?
As Jesus commanded forgiveness, lest we lose our own forgiveness, (Matt 6:15), it behooves us to always be quick to forgive.

You won't read the bible and you won't read what I write.
Forgiveness starts with repentance, whether it is from God or from a Christian.
If there is no repentance there is no forgiveness. Luke 17:3

Why not go above and beyond the "letter of the Law"?
Why not do as Jesus did for all of us?

You assume that a Christian who has been hurt cannot pass their feelings over to God to deal with.

I assume no such thing, but will He forgive if you don't?
I think not.

You assume that a Christian praying for someone who has hurt them is a fake.

Not in the least.

Why do you make these massive assumptions?

It isn't my assumption.
Jesus warned us that if we don't forgive others, we will not be forgiven.

 

[Hopeful]

I’m getting there. My interpretation of Scripture is that one is to forgive because believers have been forgiven. Different believers have different takes on how forgiveness should play out in various scenarios. I dunno ?‍

My problem in doing forgiveness is that I’m labeled and such so I deal with various levels of friction and such in day to day life. It’s making it more difficult to just take up my plow and push forward but then again…

I can’t do it but Jesus can. I think that may be part of the point?

Hey CE.
Your post made me think of 1 Cor 6:7..." Now therefore there is utterly a fault among you, because ye go to law one with another. Why do ye not rather take wrong? why do ye not rather suffer yourselves to be defrauded?"
Paul was teaching against reciprocating unGodly behavior with more unGodly behavior.
"Just let it go", in modern parlance.
God is the avenger, not us.
You may have suffered from man's injustices more than all of us put together, but you have escaped the vengeful behavior of the unbelievers.
May God be praised, and...Keep up he good work !

 

[Christ_empowered]

I’m trying to put my past behind me…

God is helping. I’m wondering if perhaps ? it was just…

A somewhat extreme case of whAt the world has for some people. The psychiatric form of slavery is especially evil because of how stealth it often is especially now that most us states have minimized state hospital use. And yet…

People get trafficked people in other countries are straight up legally and openly enslaved and.,,

Yup. I’m not competing in terms of my suffering or Gods grace to me, nor am I looking around trying to puff myself up by seeing the misery of others it’s more…

Real world ? I’m more in tune with reality in Christ. Perhaps not surprisingly..,

I am dealing with emo labels of all sorts…an alphabet soup of dsm labels…

And I haven’t been hospitalized in 15 years or arrested in 10 years. It is what it is…

 

[Hopeful]

I’m trying to put my past behind me…

God is helping. I’m wondering if perhaps ? it was just…

A somewhat extreme case of whAt the world has for some people. The psychiatric form of slavery is especially evil because of how stealth it often is especially now that most us states have minimized state hospital use. And yet…

People get trafficked people in other countries are straight up legally and openly enslaved and.,,

Yup. I’m not competing in terms of my suffering or Gods grace to me, nor am I looking around trying to puff myself up by seeing the misery of others it’s more…

Real world ? I’m more in tune with reality in Christ. Perhaps not surprisingly..,

I am dealing with emo labels of all sorts…an alphabet soup of dsm labels…

And I haven’t been hospitalized in 15 years or arrested in 10 years. It is what it is…

Thank God for His protection and grace.
(I still think you should write a book)

 

[Dorothy Mae]

Very easily. You forget that is what Jesus did, as did Stephen.

Please quote any of my posts, or any biblical quote that says one hates the person who has hurt one.

I have posted several times on the topic of forgiveness as most Christians don't understand it.

Please read the book of Joanh. It is a good study on rejection of God, acceptance, repentance, restoration and God's forgiveness.

No where in the bible does God forgive without there being repentance.
Tell me, who in the bible expected people.e to do more than God commanded?

Forgiveness as shown in Luke 17: 3+4. Is conditional on the offender saying sorry.
Then we Must forgive, no matter how hard.
When there is no repentance, we copy Jesus and hand the situation, the people, our feelings over to God for him to deal with them and us.
Not finish, we do the hard task of praying regularly and I tellingly for the offender.
It is this last thing that causes people to prefer the unbiblical ideal of manufacturing feelings of forgiveness and of burdening people who are hurting g with the guilt of not being given able to forgive.

Do you want others including God, to forgive you ONLY for the sins for which you asked forgiveness? All the wrongs you did that you do not repent of are retained both in God's eyes and man's. Is that what you want for yourself?

Blessed are the merciful for they shall receive mercy.

 

[WIP]

I think this thread has gone a bit farther than it should have for the Questions and Answers forum. It is partially my fault as I should have headed it off earlier. This discussion has moved past answering the OP's questions and has progressed into a theological debate. Therefore, I am moving it to the Theology forum.

 

[Who Me]

How can we pray for folks we don't forgive?

Because that is how prayer for someone who has hurt one always starts.
You look at only a small part of a complicated process and assume that how one starts is how one remains.

Jesus warned us that if we don't forgive others, we will not be forgiven.

Yes Jesus says in like 17:3 if they repent we Must forgive.

 

[Who Me]

Do you want others including God, to forgive you ONLY for the sins for which you asked forgiveness? All the wrongs you did that you do not repent of are retained both in God's eyes and man's. Is that what you want for yourself?

Blessed are the merciful for they shall receive mercy.

No where have I said or implied this.

I have maintained that the bible teaches that repentance always proceeds forgiveness and that there is a biblical method for dealing with resentment resulting from an unrepentant offence.

 

[Who Me]

Don't confuse forgiveness with an act on their part to change behavior and us being punching bags.

The man who raped my sister ,I hated him,I let that go .he many years later apologized to my mother .he will never face a sentence as no evidence could be presented . I don't like him .

Yet before he did such act .I harbored hate and let it g

I'm talking about forgiving when people repent. That if they don't repent there is no requirement for a Christian to forgive.
Which leads to the follow on of how does a Christian deal with their feelings following an incident.

As the disciples knew and mentioned to Jesus, how do they deal with someone who constantly offends.
Jesus's reply was if they repent one always forgives.

 

[Christ_empowered]

God requires repentance. Believers are simply commanded to forgive 70x7….

 

[jasonc]

I'm talking about forgiving when people repent. That if they don't repent there is no requirement for a Christian to forgive.
Which leads to the follow on of how does a Christian deal with their feelings following an incident.

As the disciples knew and mentioned to Jesus, how do they deal with someone who constantly offends.
Jesus's reply was if they repent one always forgives.

It doesn't work that way.

If my dad died and died as he was the way I nearly hated him.
Do I have a choice not to honor him despite that he was a poor father?

My dad then was very mean ,he was abusive physically but he did abuse us verbally .

I had to let that go and later on when my grandpa died who was that way .I had compassion on my dad .

By my repentance ,I led my brother in due season to repentance and God used all that to save my father .

There's a verse on that called no ye not if you forgive your enemies then you heap coals of fire on their head .

Jesus said we good are you love them that love you .the sinners do that.

Would you pray for your rapist of you hold a grudge ?

That's hard to do if you do hold that hatred and grudge . Sure it might not change you overnight or even save them but let God repay .the vengeance of man is never Godly .

I have to do that .I despise Biden ,I hate how he withdrew from afghanistan.it angers me and yet I have prayed for him because it is a command .Biden may never see Christ .

Do you seriously expect me to hold such a cynical life until Biden simply says yeah I botched it up
Granted that war and it's lie can't be laid upon him alone .

And I don't lay it all on him but he bears more then trump on it .

I can go on with grudges .it's just north with it .

 

[Dorothy Mae]

No where have I said or implied this.

That’s exactly what you’re saying.

I have maintained that the bible teaches that repentance always proceeds forgiveness and that there is a biblical method for dealing with resentment resulting from an unrepentant offence.

So do you REFUSE to forgive those who haven’t repeated? Yes or no?

 

[dwb001]

Back to the OP question...

Here is how I have handled it in my life.

1. When I recognise that I have a hatred for someone... I recognise that it is not a Christ like reaction to the situation.
2. I still have my feelings of hate... so I give the person over to Jesus to judge between the two of us.
3. When the situation(feelings) comes up again... I acknowledge the un-Christ like feelings.... Then repeat step 2.
4. Continue till I have some feelings other than hate... build on that by praying something beneficial for the other person.
5. Continue the process day by day.

 

[Hopeful]

Because that is how prayer for someone who has hurt one always starts.
You look at only a small part of a complicated process and assume that how one starts is how one remains.

Yes Jesus says in like 17:3 if they repent we Must forgive.

Is it impossible for you to forgive without a know repentance by the offending party?
What if they are dead?
Or hundreds of miles away?
Or you don't even know who they are?
Why hold on to hate when love tastes so much sweeter?

 

[Who Me]

Is it impossible for you to forgive without a know repentance by the offending party?
What if they are dead?
Or hundreds of miles away?
Or you don't even know who they are?
Why hold on to hate when love tastes so much sweeter?

Again you will not read what I write.
Try reading what I do say and not what you imagine I say.

 

[Who Me]

That’s exactly what you’re saying.

So do you REFUSE to forgive those who haven’t repeated? Yes or no?

It is not a case of refusing to forgive those who will not or cannot repent, but a case of handing the situation, the people, your feelings gs over to God for him to deal with and then praying intelligently and regularly for the offender.

Inventing feelings of forgiveness is not a Christian action.

 

[Who Me]

It doesn't work that way

Actually it does.
Life can be, is, tough for some people with real suffering brought about by other people.es deliberate actions.
We don't have to forgive them.
But
We donate to hand them, our feelings etc etc over to God for him to deal with and yes we do have to pray for there good.

 

[jasonc]

Actually it does.
Life can be, is, tough for some people with real suffering brought about by other people.es deliberate actions.
We don't have to forgive them.
But
We donate to hand them, our feelings etc etc over to God for him to deal with and yes we do have to pray for there good.

Uhm you contradict your self .

Forgive them not but

Well the rapist I just learned who raped my sister has been shot I see it ,I do or don't call 911.

You seriously can't care about someone you hold a grudge and do that

I'm sure you would honestly pray for a job ,blessings over a rapist that you are victim from that walked free and not hold intense hatred.

It will change you once you start to pray,the grace of God is to lead us to repentance.the fact we don't get our justice is because he desires not to foremost.

Because he loved us first .he didn't start after we repented