R
Runner
Guest
OK, so the Virtual Flat Earth Paradigm went nowhere. I sailed it up to the edge and no one followed, as we Flat Earthers say.
But I continue to think outside the sphere. My latest effort, I believe, is closer to the true spirit of the Flat Earth theory. We are calling it – somewhat clumsily, we admit, but we’re still in the beta test stage – the Flat Earth Koan Paradigm.
A Zen koan is, of course, a mysterious question like “What is the sound of one hand clapping?” The Zen student meditates on this for, oh, 7,000 hours or so and then appears before his Master with an answer that he hopes will demonstrate his enlightenment.
“One hand can’t clap, you old fool!” is never a satisfactory answer. It merely demonstrates the student has failed to transcend the dualistic, overly analytical thinking that is a positive hindrance to enlightenment.
There are many “correct” answers to “What is the sound of one hand clapping?” They tend to be things like “a bowl of oatmeal” or “the fig tree in the garden.” This, of course, sounds nonsensical to you and me – we’re not enlightened.
Which brings us to “Why did God make the earth flat?” To the truly spiritual, the answer can never be “God didn’t make the earth flat – look around you, dummy.” This merely demonstrates you’re locked into the sort of overly analytical thinking that regards your five senses and intellectual capabilities as some sort of reliable guide to spiritual truth.
Not being a Flat Earth Master, I cannot say what a satisfactory answer to the Flat Earth Koan might be. I can only say it will have nothing to do with whether, in any objective sense, the earth is actually flat. If you keep insisting the earth is not flat, you may as well become a Scientologist. You care nothing about spiritual truth.
So that, in a flat nutshell, is the Flat Earth Koan Paradigm: You can never demonstrate your spirituality by any response having anything whatsoever to do with what the spiritually unenlightened might call “objective evidence” the earth is not flat. You must provide an answer (“a cat in the litterbox,” perhaps, or “the automotive section at Walmart”) that will demonstrate you “get” the koan. Bible verses likewise are not satisfactory answers in and of themselves - even the demons can read, as James reminds us.
Likewise, a true Flat Earth Master will never attempt to demonstrate by objective evidence the earth is flat. This is to sink to the level of the unenlightened. Zen masters do not run around with digital recorders in an attempt to prove the sound of one hand clapping is ... well, whatever it is.
I will agree the Flat Earth Koan Paradigm sounds a bit Eastern for my taste, but we’re working on this. Suggestions are welcome. We’re also working diligently on the Young Earth Koan Paradigm, although right now the Flat Earth version looks a lot more promising. A Unified Virtual Flat Earth Koan Paradigm is, of course, our holy grail.
Is this better? Is anyone going to sail off the edge with me on this one, or am I just trying too hard? Regrettably, I now find the notion of a spherical earth so dull that I fear I can never go back.
But I continue to think outside the sphere. My latest effort, I believe, is closer to the true spirit of the Flat Earth theory. We are calling it – somewhat clumsily, we admit, but we’re still in the beta test stage – the Flat Earth Koan Paradigm.
A Zen koan is, of course, a mysterious question like “What is the sound of one hand clapping?” The Zen student meditates on this for, oh, 7,000 hours or so and then appears before his Master with an answer that he hopes will demonstrate his enlightenment.
“One hand can’t clap, you old fool!” is never a satisfactory answer. It merely demonstrates the student has failed to transcend the dualistic, overly analytical thinking that is a positive hindrance to enlightenment.
There are many “correct” answers to “What is the sound of one hand clapping?” They tend to be things like “a bowl of oatmeal” or “the fig tree in the garden.” This, of course, sounds nonsensical to you and me – we’re not enlightened.
Which brings us to “Why did God make the earth flat?” To the truly spiritual, the answer can never be “God didn’t make the earth flat – look around you, dummy.” This merely demonstrates you’re locked into the sort of overly analytical thinking that regards your five senses and intellectual capabilities as some sort of reliable guide to spiritual truth.
Not being a Flat Earth Master, I cannot say what a satisfactory answer to the Flat Earth Koan might be. I can only say it will have nothing to do with whether, in any objective sense, the earth is actually flat. If you keep insisting the earth is not flat, you may as well become a Scientologist. You care nothing about spiritual truth.
So that, in a flat nutshell, is the Flat Earth Koan Paradigm: You can never demonstrate your spirituality by any response having anything whatsoever to do with what the spiritually unenlightened might call “objective evidence” the earth is not flat. You must provide an answer (“a cat in the litterbox,” perhaps, or “the automotive section at Walmart”) that will demonstrate you “get” the koan. Bible verses likewise are not satisfactory answers in and of themselves - even the demons can read, as James reminds us.
Likewise, a true Flat Earth Master will never attempt to demonstrate by objective evidence the earth is flat. This is to sink to the level of the unenlightened. Zen masters do not run around with digital recorders in an attempt to prove the sound of one hand clapping is ... well, whatever it is.
I will agree the Flat Earth Koan Paradigm sounds a bit Eastern for my taste, but we’re working on this. Suggestions are welcome. We’re also working diligently on the Young Earth Koan Paradigm, although right now the Flat Earth version looks a lot more promising. A Unified Virtual Flat Earth Koan Paradigm is, of course, our holy grail.
Is this better? Is anyone going to sail off the edge with me on this one, or am I just trying too hard? Regrettably, I now find the notion of a spherical earth so dull that I fear I can never go back.