This goes back pretty deep into our society in the West devaluing traditional values and saying they weren't progressive or forward thinking enough to advanced society, primarily women, and were a hindrance.
I think
Riven touched on it from a male's perspective, but I'd say the male perspective has gradually come about due to the female perspective and society's coddling of said perspective because of the hyper man hating feminist movement.
What the culture says to girls - young women: "Being a mom is slavery. Being a wife is slavery. You don't NEED a man to do anything.
(There are vids of young girls foolishly saying they could have children, absolutely without any men. When the guys and girls tried to explain to them where sperm came from, they still didn't get it. This is one example of the extreme.) Get married when you've fulfilled all of your career goals. Be like men. Get married to your career, there will always be a
"fantasy romance man" there waiting to marry you whenever you're ready. Cooking and cleaning are beneath you, that's slavery! Submissiveness is slavery! Men are all evil, lustful beasts, lying in wait in the dark corners of everywhere looking to take advantage of you and the patriarchy will help them get away with it. Sleep with as many men as you want, it's what men do. Don't let them slut shame you, girl! Where the clothes that make you feel better, those men better not look at you! If he leaves take him for everything he has. If you hit him, he can't do anything because it will be seen as abuse. If you abuse him no one will believe him. Girls rule the world! You deserve an ultra high value man, have your standards in the clouds of fantasy land, there's someone out there that will meet them. You don't really have to meet a man's standards, men shouldn't have standards, that's misogynistic. You did something wrong? Don't worry about it. Here, we'll give you a super light sentence compared to what he got. Etc. Etc.
Most damaging of all for certain communities is the government will pay you to have children so long as there's not a man in the house. So, young woman who likely got her values and principles from public schools and her peer group, go forth and never get married to your children's fathers because you will get a monthly stipend, magic government money to buy food, free or super cheap housing. Oh, warning: Once you start trying to do anything to better yourself, you might get kicked off of all these programs once you get your first check from your new job. Depends on where you live."
Starting to see a pattern?
What the culture says to boys - young men: "You're too toxic
(if he acts like a boy). You're too aggressive (if he acts like a boy). Here, let's put you on this drug to make you calm down (
if he acts like a boy, although, to be fair, they don't do this as much as they used to when I was growing up). Women don't need men. Women don't need you to do anything for them at all. Women only want you for money. Women only want you to make babies with them and then go away and then pay them money
(child support). Even if you can prove the woman isn't fit to raise the children, family court will still give her the children and make you pay her and the government money
(child support). You're worthless. Society no longer needs you. You're only worth anything when you give women money. You're only worth anything when you die, but not really, after you die we will dig up everything wrong about you and drag your name through the mud
(to be fair, they do this to women who don't think right also). We don't want you to be masculine, but we want you to be masculine when we want you to. We don't want you to be traditional unless we need protection, then we want you to be traditional and come protect us. How dare you call yourself the leader of your home, that's misogynistic. How dare you have standards for the type of woman you want, that's misogynistic. How dare you say you want a woman to be a homemaker, that's slavery. How dare you say you want a woman with traditional values you racist, sexist, misogynistic, homophobic
[insert every current year buzz word in the book, especially if said male is of the light skin color group membership] Etc. Etc. Etc.
Most damaging of all for certain communities is, the government will pay her to have children so long as you are not the man in the house. So, young man who was likely raised by busy parents and got his values and principles on life primarily from public school and his peer groups, go forth and make many, many, many children out of wedlock."
So, the overarching problem is culture. Culture influences everything. Culture removes one parent from the home, creates a two parent working household which leaves the children to be raised by strangers by way of public schools and their peers. Busy parents working to pay bills in a two-working-household economy that's been around since women fought to go to work, these busy parents often don't make time to instill in their children traditional values like "get married to the right person" because they were the product of busy parents who didn't do that.
Speaking for myself. I grew up in a divorced home. My mom remarried, and spent all her time in a combative relationship. Yes, one time, after I got big enough I had to jump on my step father cause he hit my mom. It wasn't a regular occurrence and after he and I got into it, he never did that again. At least, not in my presence. Don't really know what he was thinking when he did. He was drunk. I digress. The point I'm making is that you have children like me, who get their idea of a relationship from a combination of broken households with bad relationships, their friends, and the culture: music, television, movies, etc. The latter which form fantasy ideas or very, very, very bad ideas in their mind on what a relationship should be or simply how to use the opposite sex for personal gain, etc.
It's a problem that would be very difficult to fix as current trending social culture in the West is very much against any sort of traditional value system. It sees it as regressive. Despite the flaws of the progressive value system that has been advanced in Western culture for decades. Despite the harm it does to women and men.
I mean it's so bad that despite my Christian beliefs I'm thinking of telling my son and three daughters to just never consider getting married, but at the same time I want to tell my three daughters to trash the feminism if they want to find decent men, but will have to also warn them that most young men have checked out due to the way society has robbed men of having a voice.
