Advice in "The Search"

[Carry_Your_Name]

We know that Peter was married, but as for the other Disciples scripture is silent if any of the other ones were married.

Matthew 8:14 And when Jesus was come into Peter's house, he saw his wife's mother laid, and sick of a fever.

Peter left her to serve the lord and never came back. Paul was also very likely married in his culture, he left as well and became single. Neither man is a hypocrite, they faithfully followed this instruction: “but this I say, brethren, the time is short, so that from now on even those who have wives should be as though they had none.” (1 Cor. 7:29) Therefore he might be married at first, but not anymore once he was saved and reborn in the Holy Spirit.

 

[Carry_Your_Name]

No where in those verses does it say that the woman would have conflict with man

Yes it does. If you do some study on the line “Your desire shall be for your husband”, you’ll learn that this actually means “your desire shall be AGAINST your husband(‘s desire), contrary to your husband, for your husband’s position”, it’s commonly translated in such ways in later translations, and that makes sense of the next line “but he shall rule over you”.

 

[for_his_glory]

Peter left her to serve the lord and never came back. Paul was also very likely married in his culture, he left as well and became single. Neither man is a hypocrite, they faithfully followed this instruction: “but this I say, brethren, the time is short, so that from now on even those who have wives should be as though they had none.” (1 Cor. 7:29) Therefore he might be married at first, but not anymore once he was saved and reborn in the Holy Spirit.

None the less you said the Disciples never had wives, but have been proven wrong. Even though they traveled with their ministries there is the possibility that their wives traveled with them.

1Cor 7:29 But this I say, brethren, the time is short: it remaineth, that both they that have wives be as though they had none.

Other words their ministries of God's work where they were sent has to come first above anything or anyone. It doesn't say they divorced their wife, but were still married.

 

[for_his_glory]

Yes it does. If you do some study on the line “Your desire shall be for your husband”, you’ll learn that this actually means “your desire shall be AGAINST your husband(‘s desire), contrary to your husband, for your husband’s position”, it’s commonly translated in such ways in later translations, and that makes sense of the next line “but he shall rule over you”.

Your opinion only as if it is not written, then it only becomes speculation. Our first desire needs to be for God, and then our husband and support our husband, especially if God calls him into the ministry, but you would have never experienced that since you are not married. My husband and I complete each other and support each other in our endeavors.

BTW, the husband is to be the Spiritual head over his household as Christ is the Spiritual head over the body of Christ,

Eph 5:24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
Eph 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
Eph 5:26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
Eph 5:27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.

 

[Carry_Your_Name]

If you would go back to the OP @Rookie is asking, "I was just curious to hear what y'all think about certain signs to when you knew who was for you (friend wise), who wasn't, and particularly when you're looking for in my case, a future wife, what are some things to look out for."

It seems like he is asking how to tell the difference between good Godly influences in finding the right friends and how to know that when you find a girl you might want to marry, how do you know she is the right one for you.

This is a wrong question to ask, the meaning of our being is found In Christ, not a wife, we’re called to multiply our god given talents, not wasting them on a foolish dating game. If it is really God’s will for you to marry, he’ll bring her into your life, he’ll present her to you, you’ll have the opportunity to know her, then feelings, either positive or negative, naturally grows, and you’ll know whether there’s any connection, whether she’s compatible with you or not, whether you have shared faith, values and experiences. This process cannot be forced or artificially staged, you know, if you aim to “search” for such a soul mate at the beginning, it’s doomed to be a wild goose chase and you’ll never find her, no matter how fervently you pray, because you don’t know whether she’s real, whether she even exists. It’s not like the OP has already had a girlfriend and now he’s on a “search” for the godly qualities in her.

 

[Carry_Your_Name]

If you want to remain unmarried that is your choice, but quit condemning others that are making it sound like a sin against God.

Jesus was explicitly condemning those who still indulge in their pleasures with no awareness of the impending doom, ignoring all the signs of his coming around them, those are the kind of foolish virgins who don’t have oil in their lamps as they’re not prepared.

 

[Carry_Your_Name]

Your opinion only as if it is not written, then it only becomes speculation. Our first desire needs to be for God, and then our husband and support our husband, especially if God calls him into the ministry, but you would have never experienced that since you are not married. My husband and I complete each other and support each other in our endeavors.

That's not my opinion, that's what's written in several common bible versions. KJV might be the most authoritative version, but it's not perfect, it has its own inaccuracies and preconceived notions. No bible translation is perfect, treating any translation as perfect is idolatry.

Your desire shall be contrary to your husband, but he shall rule over you. (ESV)
And you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you.” (NLT)
You will want to control your husband, but he will dominate[ax] you.” (NET)

 

[Carry_Your_Name]

None the less you said the Disciples never had wives, but have been proven wrong. Even though they traveled with their ministries there is the possibility that their wives traveled with them.

Nobody's wife traveled with them, you made that up. They left their wives for their ministries, there's not a shred of evidence of "traveling wives", you've totally made it up.

 

[WIP]

Nobody's wife traveled with them, you made that up. They left their wives for their ministries, there's not a shred of evidence of "traveling wives", you've totally made it up.

As you totally made it up that they divorced their wives.

By the way, the three translations that you referenced in post #67, I recommend you follow the footnotes, and you'll learn that there is some uncertainty regarding how those translations should be. All three of them indicate there could be another way to translate that part of Scripture so, it isn't exactly clear which is correct.

 

[Carry_Your_Name]

Other words their ministries of God's work where they were sent has to come first above anything or anyone. It doesn't say they divorced their wife, but were still married.

"And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or lands, for My name’s sake, shall receive a hundredfold, and inherit eternal life." (Matt. 19:29)

 

[hawkman]

Who Were The Wives Of The Apostles

 

[Carry_Your_Name]

As you totally made it up that they divorced their wives.

For the record, where did I use the d word? I said "left", as in "separate". Paul was crystal clear of his status in his instructions on marriage, and he said it twice, and he repeatedly expressed the same preference of singlehood, marriage is a distraction, the message is clear:

For I wish that all men were even as I myself. But each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that. But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am; but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion. (1 Cor. 7:7-9)

But I want you to be without care. He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord—how he may please the Lord. But he who is married cares about the things of the world—how he may please his wife. (1 Cor. 7:32-33)

A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives; but if her husband dies, she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. But she is happier if she remains as she is, according to my judgment—and I think I also have the Spirit of God. (1 Cor. 7:39-40)

By the way, the three translations that you referenced in post #67, I recommend you follow the footnotes, and you'll learn that there is some uncertainty regarding how those translations should be. All three of them indicate there could be another way to translate that part of Scripture so, it isn't exactly clear which is correct.

That's why it is necessary to horizontally compare different translations, and also vertically compare uses of the same phrase in different contexts, in order to reach a comprehensive conclusion. This phrase, "desire shall be toward (or against)", in particular is found in the next chapter:

And if you do not do well, sin lies at the door. And its desire is for you, but you should rule over it. (Gen. 4:7)

If 3:16 is murky, this one is crystal clear. In this context, Cain was infused with the sin of wrath as his subpar offering was rejected, he later gave in to it and murdered his brother; but before that, God advised him to "rule over it". Surely there's a conflict between emotion and reason.

 

[Carry_Your_Name]

Who Were The Wives Of The Apostles

This article itself says what we know is "shrouded in mystery and speculation", and it begins with "women in early Christian church", not any imaginary wife in particular, there's no documented evidence of their existence. Even in Matt. 8:14, it only says Peter's MOTHER-IN-LAW was sick, it doesn't even mention his wife directly, we don't even know if she was still around or alive at the time!

 

[Carry_Your_Name]

Making yourself available could also mean that you allow yourself to be a little vulnerable. I am 66 years old, and I can tell you that I can be a bit standoffish myself, if my understanding is correct. What I think that means is that I tend to put up barriers around myself and when I meet new people, I can come across as distant and not very social. This is particularly evident with those of the opposite sex. Is that what it means to be introverted or maybe lack some self-esteem?

To truly get to know someone does involve lowering those defensive walls and allowing them to get to know you on a more personal level. I have experienced times when I meet someone and for some reason which I cannot explain, I find them easier to just have conversation with. Is it something about them or me? I do not know. Probably a little of both.

My wife is one that makes friends very easily. She's much more outgoing and isn't afraid to let herself be known. In all honesty, I actually have felt a certain level of jealousy regarding her ability to do that and wish I could be more like her. We can be in a crowd of people and in very short order she is able to strike up conversations with just about anyone while I am a bit more reserved. I find it amazing, but I just can't quite do it.

"Making yourself available" should be taken in a professional sense, as in making yourself available to opportunities, possibilities and demands, that you do some favors for your friends and colleages, offer free help to a stranger like the good Samaritan, take the extra mile at work even when nobody asks you to, volunteer for some seemingly imtimidating or unpleasant assignments instead of making excuses. If you get to impress a woman or two along the way, good for you, that's added bonus, but not the goal. You don't make yourself emotionally available to the point of vulnerable, and get infatuated with her, thinking about her day and night to the point of forsaking your duties and obligations, like Don Jose with Carmen. You make yourself available only as long as you can manage the situation and keep your composure.

 

[hawkman]

This article itself says what we know is "shrouded in mystery and speculation", and it begins with "women in early Christian church", not any imaginary wife in particular, there's no documented evidence of their existence. Even in Matt. 8:14, it only says Peter's MOTHER-IN-LAW was sick, it doesn't even mention his wife directly, we don't even know if she was still around or alive at the time!

The Bible is not a complete compendium of the Apostles lives or even Jesus's time walking this earth , John 21:25 .

Were any of the disciples married? | GotQuestions.org

Were any of the disciples married? Was Peter married? Was Paul married? Does being married hinder the work of the ministry?

www.gotquestions.org

The Apostles that were Married.

 

[Carry_Your_Name]

The Bible is not a complete compendium of the Apostles lives or even Jesus's time walking this earth , John 21:25 .

Tell that to those cessationists who worship the bible as the complete compendium of God's word and reject any general revelation of God beyond the bible and beyond words.

 

[deepfaithpraise]

So yeah as an incoming freshman (I'm going to Biola University fyi), with this whole adulting process has been crazy. Anyways, I was just curious to hear what y'all think about certain signs to when you knew who was for you (friend wise), who wasn't, and particularly when you're looking for in my case, a future wife, what are some things to look out for.

I read this book and one of its advice is sort of "make yourself available" meaning don't expect that God is going to bring the one for you like an Amazon delivery package to your door while you're locked up hidden from society. And I've been told that for some reason I seem him standoffish.

I don't want to turn away what God has cuz of a face or posture.

So what do you think,

And a quick note, I know the "textbook" answer, such as like "be not unequally yoked" in 1 Corinthians I believe or Matthew 6:33 on seek ye first the Kingdom of God, or Psalms it says "delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart", etc. the college I'm going to, everyone is 100% professing Christians. So presumably, they're going to pass the initial Christian screening test. But of course it takes a bit longer to actually know the heart.

So what's a more practical ways I can put into action, or if you're going to give scripture, give me exact ways to apply in real time please. And what are some secondary things I should look out for that I may not catch on the initial screening test if that makes sense.

I commend you for recognizing the importance of being open and available to the people and experiences that God has in store for you. We must not hide behind closed doors, waiting for the perfect package to arrive. We must venture out, with hearts open and arms outstretched, ready to receive and give love.

As you seek to form meaningful relationships, particularly with a future wife, remember that it is not just about finding someone who checks all the boxes on your list. It is about finding someone with whom you can share a deep and abiding love, a love that is rooted in mutual respect, trust, and a shared commitment to following Christ.

In addition to the scriptural guidance you mentioned, I offer you a practical suggestion: cultivate the art of listening. Listen to the stories, hopes, and dreams of those around you. Listen with empathy, compassion, and an open heart. For it is in listening that we come to understand the depths of another's soul, and it is in understanding that we can build bridges of love and connection.

May God bless you on this journey, and may you always remember that love is a choice, a choice that requires courage, vulnerability, and an open heart.

 

[WIP]

"Making yourself available" should be taken in a professional sense, as in making yourself available to opportunities, possibilities and demands, that you do some favors for your friends and colleages, offer free help to a stranger like the good Samaritan, take the extra mile at work even when nobody asks you to, volunteer for some seemingly imtimidating or unpleasant assignments instead of making excuses. If you get to impress a woman or two along the way, good for you, that's added bonus, but not the goal. You don't make yourself emotionally available to the point of vulnerable, and get infatuated with her, thinking about her day and night to the point of forsaking your duties and obligations, like Don Jose with Carmen. You make yourself available only as long as you can manage the situation and keep your composure.

I guess you've got all the answer then. Hat's off to you.

 

[for_his_glory]

Who Were The Wives Of The Apostles

This is another site naming the names of the Apostles wives taken from the Apocrypha that I found interesting.

List of Married and Celibate Apostles

Standard abbreviation: List Apost. Marr. Other titles: none Clavis numbers: ECCA 240 Category: Lists of Apostles and Disciples Related literature: Compiled by: Tony Burke, York University (tburke@y…

www.nasscal.com

 

[for_his_glory]

"And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or lands, for My name’s sake, shall receive a hundredfold, and inherit eternal life." (Matt. 19:29)

Doesn't say anything here if the Apostles were married or not so once again you have been proven wrong in your theology.