How exactly is Divorce without cause and remarriage NOT ADULTERY?

[WIP]

One thing I'd like to point out for you, for_his_glory, is that no matter where this discussion ends up, you can rest assured that you have since been forgiven.

 

[artful horizon]

Dying a martyr is a different situation as they died an honorable death even though it was at the hands of others. Before I filed for divorce the second time I searched the scriptures and even still today there are none about divorcing one who has abused you and getting married again. If anyone knows of any please share them as I am at a lost of finding any.

First, I'm sorry to read you've been harmed in a marriage. No woman deserves that and she has every right to save herself from harm.
God knows. And that's the point isn't' it? If you're in a marriage where the both of you are to be coupled as Christians under the free grace eternal salvation promise of God, aren't you to also be blessed in sharing this life with one another?

As I read it, a Christian man that harms his wife is breaking God's laws and disobeying the teachings of the Lord Christ concerning the instruction as to how a marriage is suppose to go.
Colossians 3:19 "Husbands love your wives, and be not bitter against them."

Then there is Ephesians chapter 5, all if it is a great help. These verses come to mind now for this post.
25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

If it was a God centered marriage spousal abuse wouldn't occur. If seeking out counseling with a pastor doesn't make things right, you're perfectly entitled to escape a dire situation as that. Ephesians 5 has a verse that tells us we're suppose to as believers submit to one another in the love of Christ.
A guy that beats his woman isn't submitting to his wife as he would in the love of Christ. That's more like the Devil trying to destroy the image of Christ the woman holds dear. And that's the same as an unbeliever in my book. And you're perfectly entitled, when all measures to heal the wrong in the relationship fail, to divorce an unbeliever. Because God hates that kind of man with a passion also.

And really, I don't think you need to justify your divorcing an abusive husband. Not to anyone. If you weren't a Christian in that old relationship where you were harmed by your man, then when you found Christ you were forgiven every trespass you ever committed. And God doesn't hold anything against you.
If you were a Christian then too, same thing. You're forgiven. It's the abusive man that you freed yourself of that needs to worry about what comes next for him if he doesn't find Christ. And if he says he was a Christian when he was beating you, he lies.
I'm glad you got out. Don't carry that burden worrying if it was OK with God. You know he would rather see you free than beaten by a man because you think you're doing that for Christ's sake.

Christ doesn't tell you to endure that. And you shouldn't ever feel guilty because you freely chose not to. And really, it was your life then. Your pain and suffering. Don't let anyone you ever meet make you feel bad you survived. Sometimes we marry the guy we think is ideal. We overlook all those little red flags that fly when we first meet and get to know him because it is like we're using these scales to weigh what about him is great, and what we think we can live with or overlook.

But those flags can be God trying to get our attention. As in, don't marry this guy! Look! See? That's not good. Don't marry him!

But we tell ourselves we know what we're doing. Because there are things about that man that we want. And that's really selfish when what we're also being shown we don't want, is something we're choosing to push aside to get what we want. But really, when there are things we don't like, at all, those are the signs we don't want him that has those things we don't like. No matter how small, if we think we can put it aside and learn to live with it, that's really naive. Because we're living with the guy that has those qualities no matter what. And sooner or later, year after year, those things we don't like are going to be part of that relationship. Showing up now and then or over and over. And after long enough time, what we don't like will start to overcome what we do.

Don't ever settle!
That's what my mom says. Wait for the man God sends and don't take bargain basement just to be in a relationship.

I'm proud you got out! You're a shining example to any woman who's in the same type spot as you were. That's role model right there! You're great!

 

[WIP]

First, I'm sorry to read you've been harmed in a marriage. No woman deserves that and she has every right to save herself from harm.
God knows. And that's the point isn't' it? If you're in a marriage where the both of you are to be coupled as Christians under the free grace eternal salvation promise of God, aren't you to also be blessed in sharing this life with one another?

As I read it, a Christian man that harms his wife is breaking God's laws and disobeying the teachings of the Lord Christ concerning the instruction as to how a marriage is suppose to go.
Colossians 3:19 "Husbands love your wives, and be not bitter against them."

Then there is Ephesians chapter 5, all if it is a great help. These verses come to mind now for this post.
25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

If it was a God centered marriage spousal abuse wouldn't occur. If seeking out counseling with a pastor doesn't make things right, you're perfectly entitled to escape a dire situation as that. Ephesians 5 has a verse that tells us we're suppose to as believers submit to one another in the love of Christ.
A guy that beats his woman isn't submitting to his wife as he would in the love of Christ. That's more like the Devil trying to destroy the image of Christ the woman holds dear. And that's the same as an unbeliever in my book. And you're perfectly entitled, when all measures to heal the wrong in the relationship fail, to divorce an unbeliever. Because God hates that kind of man with a passion also.

And really, I don't think you need to justify your divorcing an abusive husband. Not to anyone. If you weren't a Christian in that old relationship where you were harmed by your man, then when you found Christ you were forgiven every trespass you ever committed. And God doesn't hold anything against you.
If you were a Christian then too, same thing. You're forgiven. It's the abusive man that you freed yourself of that needs to worry about what comes next for him if he doesn't find Christ. And if he says he was a Christian when he was beating you, he lies.
I'm glad you got out. Don't carry that burden worrying if it was OK with God. You know he would rather see you free than beaten by a man because you think you're doing that for Christ's sake.

Christ doesn't tell you to endure that. And you shouldn't ever feel guilty because you freely chose not to. And really, it was your life then. Your pain and suffering. Don't let anyone you ever meet make you feel bad you survived. Sometimes we marry the guy we think is ideal. We overlook all those little red flags that fly when we first meet and get to know him because it is like we're using these scales to weigh what about him is great, and what we think we can live with or overlook.

But those flags can be God trying to get our attention. As in, don't marry this guy! Look! See? That's not good. Don't marry him!

But we tell ourselves we know what we're doing. Because there are things about that man that we want. And that's really selfish when what we're also being shown we don't want, is something we're choosing to push aside to get what we want. But really, when there are things we don't like, at all, those are the signs we don't want him that has those things we don't like. No matter how small, if we think we can put it aside and learn to live with it, that's really naive. Because we're living with the guy that has those qualities no matter what. And sooner or later, year after year, those things we don't like are going to be part of that relationship. Showing up now and then or over and over. And after long enough time, what we don't like will start to overcome what we do.

Don't ever settle!
That's what my mom says. Wait for the man God sends and don't take bargain basement just to be in a relationship.

I'm proud you got out! You're a shining example to any woman who's in the same type spot as you were. That's role model right there! You're great!

I'm not sure I can agree with everything here. I understand what you wrote and how you apply it with regard to Ephesians 5 however, I'm not quite catching the Biblical part of what you wrote but rather am hearing personal opinion. I don't see where it says in Scripture that an abused spouse is released from the bonds of matrimony and can therefore seek another. Two wrongs don't make a right. Can you provide the Scripture reference that allows for a married person to seek a divorce in the event of an abusive situation? Because in the end, it is not our opinions and views that take precedence, it is God's.

 

[artful horizon]

I'm not sure I can agree with everything here. I understand what you wrote and how you apply it with regard to Ephesians 5 however, I'm not quite catching the Biblical part of what you wrote but rather am hearing personal opinion. I don't see where it says in Scripture that an abused spouse is released from the bonds of matrimony and can therefore seek another. Two wrongs don't make a right. Can you provide the Scripture reference that allows for a married person to seek a divorce in the event of an abusive situation? Because in the end, it is not our opinions and views that take precedence, it is God's.

That's OK.
Until someone can show the scripture that says an abused spouse has to stay in a marriage that is not a marriage when the abuser violates the rules God set down for marriage, the counter argument that opposes divorce in that situation is a personal opinion.
And really, to be quite blunt, I could care less if someone thinks the scriptures approve divorce from a batterer. The only scripture that pertains in that situation of lack, as in lacking a scripture that says we can't divorce a batterer, is the ones that tell the Christian wife God has forgiven her sins for eternity. And if divorce is a sin, that's covered too.

 

[WIP]

That's OK.
Until someone can show the scripture that says an abused spouse has to stay in a marriage that is not a marriage when the abuser violates the rules God set down for marriage, the counter argument that opposes divorce in that situation is a personal opinion.
And really, to be quite blunt, I could care less if someone thinks the scriptures approve divorce from a batterer. The only scripture that pertains in that situation of lack, as in lacking a scripture that says we can't divorce a batterer, is the ones that tell the Christian wife God has forgiven her sins for eternity. And if divorce is a sin, that's covered too.

This is the Theology forum and the goal is to determine what God defines and not what we define. There are many sins that we are guilty of that don't comply with the "rules God set down for marriage" and by what you have written, we can divorce for just about anything however, that would seem to fly in the face of Jesus' proclamation. How we justify that is what we need to come to terms with.

What your last statement tells me is that for a believer, he/she has a license to sin. What I'm reading is that you are teaching that it is okay. Get a divorce because even if it is wrong you'll be forgiven. I struggle with this view.

 

[for_his_glory]

Our worldly, unbelieving judicial system doesn’t give a hoot about the marriage/divorce laws of Christ/Moses. You should know this from the context of Paul’s answer letter to the Corinthians:

Does any one of you, having a matter against the other [like an abusive spouse or a divorce], dare to go-to-court before the unrighteous ones, and not before the saints?... So indeed, if you have cases pertaining-to- this -life [like an abusive spouse or a divorce], are you seating these [as judges]— the ones having been of-no-account in the church? I say this to your shame. So is there not among you anyone wise who will be able to discern between his brother and this brother?— but brother is going-to-court against brother, and this before unbelievers?​

1 Corinthians 6:1,4-6 - https://www.biblegateway.com/passage?search=1 Corinthians 6:1,4-6&version=DLNT

Again, atheist unbelievers are unrighteous and of no account within the church, The Temple. To include an unrighteous marriage involving an unbeliever (one or more). And God has no fellowship with unbelievers. Period! Including within an unyoked by God marriage.


Okay, I agree. But be consistent with this fact then.

Did God yoke you, a believer, together with an unbeliever??? I say no (based on the Scripture and the Laws therein). You say yes.

And He said [in Gen 2:24], ‘For this reason a man will leave-behind his father and his mother and will be joined to his wife. And the two will be one flesh’. So then, they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God paired-together, let a person not separate”.​

Matthew 19:5-6 - https://www.biblegateway.com/passage?search=Matthew 19:5-6&version=DLNT

If you think God paired you together with an unbeliever, then we disagree fundamentally on God’s 100% righteous working through His moral Law. I find it reprehensible to think God yokes an unbeliever (as in an atheist) with believers (whether Jew or Christian). This is not to disregard the fact that at the time of Paul’s Letters to the Corinthians, there were new Christians converting from Jewish customary marriages. Which Paul addressed in 1 Cor 7.

For I also wrote for this purpose: that I might know your approvedness, whether you are obedient in all things.​

2 Corinthians 2:9 - https://www.biblegateway.com/passage?search=2 Corinthians 2:9&version=DLNT

Obedience in all things means to NOT be yoked in marriage to an unbeliever (one abusing his spouse or not). If, as was the case for some in Corinth) you found yourself being a new Christian-convert yoked previously within a Jewish marriage, then remain in that marriage according to Paul (for the sake of your children). However, that has almost nothing to do with a Christian remaining in a ‘marriage-like’ relationship with an atheist because God never sanctioned it in the first place. That’s my point.


Really??? I disagree, based on Paul addressing this very situation to those Corinthians within existing Jewish marriages. A Godly marriage is a Godly marriage, whether Jewish or Gentile (or blending there-of within the 1st Century). On the otherhand, an unGodly marriage has nothing to do with God. Whether same-sex or not. And yes, there is such a thing as a Lawful divorce (Jewish or Gentile). “Do not be mis-yoked”.


Unbelievers do NOT make oaths before God. Fundamentally, we disagree here. I think my view has more support.


It’s relevant because it’s an example of an unGodly ‘marriage’ (does not have a Godly oath involved), just as an unequally yoked marriage between an atheist unbeliever an a believer is another example of an unGodly ‘marriage’. Neither is in accordance with the Law of God. That’s my point. A Biblical marriage IS God joining together a husband with a wife taken from His creation. Anything else is NOT a Biblical marriage in the first place. It’s co-habitats.


That was my first question to you. Were you joined together to an unbeliever by God, yes or no? Or by a State (many of which now allow same-sex ‘marriage’ (as if that’s not a contradiction in terms). It matters, the answer.
It makes a huge difference, obviously. Paul is aware that being unequally yoked within a ‘marriage’ is contrary to God’s Law. Jesus said so, and Paul repeated it. So did Moses. Nothing in 1 Cor 7 contradicts this Law.

Do not be ones being mis-yoked to unbelievers. For what partnership is there for righteousness and lawlessness? Or what fellowship is there for light with darkness?​

2 Corinthians 6:14 - https://www.biblegateway.com/passage?search=2 Corinthians 6:14&version=DLNT

Notice the literal verb tense of this unchanged Law. It’s present-passive. If you were mis-yoked to an atheist unbeliever, you did NOT arrive in that situation within God’s marriage Law in the first place. Plain and simple. You might think you did, but there’s zero Biblical evidence for it.

On the otherhand, if a wife was previously yoked (by God in a Jewish marriage) to a God loving righteous Jewish man in the later 1st Century an this wife suddenly claimed Jesus Christ is Messiah and Lord (i.e. converted to Christianity from being Jewish), yet her husband did not convert, then Paul tells her to stay married to him if he agreed to remain in the marriage. Otherwise,her children would become unclean. And furthermore, if this woman re-married, she did so committing adultery. [But that has nothing to do with an unGodly marriage]


1 Cor 7:9 says no such thing. It’s a very specific instruction to the unmarried females within the church (whether they be widows or virgins). It’s NOT a teaching to non-church members.


Unbelievers don’t make oaths to God and God doesn’t yoke unbelievers together.

Sorry, you are not going to convince me otherwise, unless you show me that in Scripture.

God hasn’t joined in marriage (ever in the billions of marriages throughout history) an unbeliever with a believer.
And yes, I am aware of 1 Cor 7. Which is specifically dealing with a Godly joined Jewish marriage where one spouse becomes a believing Christian within that peaceful marriage yet the other remains unconvinced of Jesus’s Messianic fulfilling.

It’s NOT the exact same situation as a atheist v Christian or an abusing atheist v Christian. Anymore than it is the same as a same-sex State sanction ‘marriage’. Not to mention, Paul’s reason for instructing the Christian spouse to remain married to her Jewish husband is so their children remain clean. My point is, he’s NOT instructing a Christian to remain with an atheist in this passage, obviously. Else, he’s contradicting Jesus and himself.

For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified by his wife. And the unbelieving wife has been sanctified by the brother. Otherwise then your children are unclean, but now they are holy.​

1 Corinthians 7:14 - https://www.biblegateway.com/passage?search=1 Corinthians 7:14&version=DLNT

The above is talking about a God loving Jewish spouse remaining with a Christ loving Christian spouse. Because they were married in accordance with God’s Law! It’s Not addressing a Christian remaining with an atheist.

We are talking about divorce without cause and remarriage not being adultery so let's stick with the OP please instead of condemning me and the choice I made.

I never said he was an unbeliever as he told me he was before we got married, but it was the drugs and alcohol that he hid from me before we married that caused his abuse against me. I did take it to the Pastor, but my husband refused counseling of any type.

Deuteronomy 24:1 When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house. 2 And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man's wife.

Why can't this law apply to a woman also as all the laws are pretty much geared to what the man is to do within all of Gods laws.

There are laws (commandments) that were especially written just for the Hebrews pertaining to the rituals of the Temple, sacrifices, festivals, Torah, Kohanim and Levites, the King and the Nazarite and then there are the existing moral laws (commandments) for all of us to still follow and those laws are found in out judicial system today whether you think they are not.

When I divorced my last husband I never lost favor in the Lord, but that I needed to forgive my oppressor. If God wanted me to stay single the rest of my life He would have not given me the husband I have today.

 

[artful horizon]

This is the Theology forum and the goal is to determine what God defines and not what we define. There are many sins that we are guilty of that don't comply with the "rules God set down for marriage" and by what you have written, we can divorce for just about anything however, that would seem to fly in the face of Jesus' proclamation. How we justify that is what we need to come to terms with.

What your last statement tells me is that for a believer, he/she has a license to sin. What I'm reading is that you are teaching that it is okay. Get a divorce because even if it is wrong you'll be forgiven. I struggle with this view.

Well see, I realize it is the Theology forum. And I went that track and included scriptures. So now it has arrived that it is personal opinion that thinks the rules of God for marriage command divorce can never happen unless for adultery. If the rules of God as set down in all the Bible were applicable today, Fundamentalists would be in prison.


Then I was told that doing that, making my point using scripture, was my opinion. Which was false. So now, when someone attempts to say, without scriptures, that someone who is in a physically assaultive dangerous marriage there is no scripture that allows them to divorce and remarry. Which is false.
There's no scripture pertaining to computer use either. There's none that pertain to driving courtesy and behavior. Because these things didn't exist with the Bible was compiled.
We have to use what's there in order to navigate where we are now.
And when the Christian wife is told God forgives all sins, and someone says divorce is a sin, yet that Christian woman is in a marriage where she can be maimed or even killed, she's fully entitled to divorce. Because that type environment isn't a Godly union nor is it anointed by God. To prove it is someone would have to show the scripture that proves God approves spousal abuse and anoints with his blessing the abuser.
Those don't exist. Whereas God does hate those who do violence, which is in Psalm 11:5. Such an abuser is not in Christ and that means that marriage is the same as if that abused wife was married to an unbeliever. Divorce from an unbeliever is permitted. Be not unequally yoked with an unbeliever. 2 Corinthians 6:14.

And in the end, if a woman decides to run like heck from a bad marriage in fear of her life and never looks back, good for her. Because God forgives all sins. And if that's considered a sin by some, to divorce a creep that beats his wife, God forgives.
Better to ask forgiveness than to ask for comfort praying to stop crying because a loved one was killed in a bad marriage thinking she had no other choice but to stay married. Even when a woman is far away from such a creep, countless police reports exist to show that estranged husband can find her and kill her. Because in his mind she had no right to leave at all.

 

[artful horizon]

Our worldly, unbelieving judicial system doesn’t give a hoot about the marriage/divorce laws of Christ/Moses. You should know this from the context of Paul’s answer letter to the Corinthians:

Does any one of you, having a matter against the other [like an abusive spouse or a divorce], dare to go-to-court before the unrighteous ones, and not before the saints?... So indeed, if you have cases pertaining-to- this -life [like an abusive spouse or a divorce], are you seating these [as judges]— the ones having been of-no-account in the church? I say this to your shame. So is there not among you anyone wise who will be able to discern between his brother and this brother?— but brother is going-to-court against brother, and this before unbelievers?​

1 Corinthians 6:1,4-6 - https://www.biblegateway.com/passage?search=1 Corinthians 6:1,4-6&version=DLNT

Again, atheist unbelievers are unrighteous and of no account within the church, The Temple. To include an unrighteous marriage involving an unbeliever (one or more). And God has no fellowship with unbelievers. Period! Including within an unyoked by God marriage.


Okay, I agree. But be consistent with this fact then.

Did God yoke you, a believer, together with an unbeliever??? I say no (based on the Scripture and the Laws therein). You say yes.

And He said [in Gen 2:24], ‘For this reason a man will leave-behind his father and his mother and will be joined to his wife. And the two will be one flesh’. So then, they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God paired-together, let a person not separate”.​

Matthew 19:5-6 - https://www.biblegateway.com/passage?search=Matthew 19:5-6&version=DLNT

If you think God paired you together with an unbeliever, then we disagree fundamentally on God’s 100% righteous working through His moral Law. I find it reprehensible to think God yokes an unbeliever (as in an atheist) with believers (whether Jew or Christian). This is not to disregard the fact that at the time of Paul’s Letters to the Corinthians, there were new Christians converting from Jewish customary marriages. Which Paul addressed in 1 Cor 7.

For I also wrote for this purpose: that I might know your approvedness, whether you are obedient in all things.​

2 Corinthians 2:9 - https://www.biblegateway.com/passage?search=2 Corinthians 2:9&version=DLNT

Obedience in all things means to NOT be yoked in marriage to an unbeliever (one abusing his spouse or not). If, as was the case for some in Corinth) you found yourself being a new Christian-convert yoked previously within a Jewish marriage, then remain in that marriage according to Paul (for the sake of your children). However, that has almost nothing to do with a Christian remaining in a ‘marriage-like’ relationship with an atheist because God never sanctioned it in the first place. That’s my point.


Really??? I disagree, based on Paul addressing this very situation to those Corinthians within existing Jewish marriages. A Godly marriage is a Godly marriage, whether Jewish or Gentile (or blending there-of within the 1st Century). On the otherhand, an unGodly marriage has nothing to do with God. Whether same-sex or not. And yes, there is such a thing as a Lawful divorce (Jewish or Gentile). “Do not be mis-yoked”.


Unbelievers do NOT make oaths before God. Fundamentally, we disagree here. I think my view has more support.


It’s relevant because it’s an example of an unGodly ‘marriage’ (does not have a Godly oath involved), just as an unequally yoked marriage between an atheist unbeliever an a believer is another example of an unGodly ‘marriage’. Neither is in accordance with the Law of God. That’s my point. A Biblical marriage IS God joining together a husband with a wife taken from His creation. Anything else is NOT a Biblical marriage in the first place. It’s co-habitats.


That was my first question to you. Were you joined together to an unbeliever by God, yes or no? Or by a State (many of which now allow same-sex ‘marriage’ (as if that’s not a contradiction in terms). It matters, the answer.
It makes a huge difference, obviously. Paul is aware that being unequally yoked within a ‘marriage’ is contrary to God’s Law. Jesus said so, and Paul repeated it. So did Moses. Nothing in 1 Cor 7 contradicts this Law.

Do not be ones being mis-yoked to unbelievers. For what partnership is there for righteousness and lawlessness? Or what fellowship is there for light with darkness?​

2 Corinthians 6:14 - https://www.biblegateway.com/passage?search=2 Corinthians 6:14&version=DLNT

Notice the literal verb tense of this unchanged Law. It’s present-passive. If you were mis-yoked to an atheist unbeliever, you did NOT arrive in that situation within God’s marriage Law in the first place. Plain and simple. You might think you did, but there’s zero Biblical evidence for it.

On the otherhand, if a wife was previously yoked (by God in a Jewish marriage) to a God loving righteous Jewish man in the later 1st Century an this wife suddenly claimed Jesus Christ is Messiah and Lord (i.e. converted to Christianity from being Jewish), yet her husband did not convert, then Paul tells her to stay married to him if he agreed to remain in the marriage. Otherwise,her children would become unclean. And furthermore, if this woman re-married, she did so committing adultery. [But that has nothing to do with an unGodly marriage]


1 Cor 7:9 says no such thing. It’s a very specific instruction to the unmarried females within the church (whether they be widows or virgins). It’s NOT a teaching to non-church members.


Unbelievers don’t make oaths to God and God doesn’t yoke unbelievers together.

Sorry, you are not going to convince me otherwise, unless you show me that in Scripture.

God hasn’t joined in marriage (ever in the billions of marriages throughout history) an unbeliever with a believer.
And yes, I am aware of 1 Cor 7. Which is specifically dealing with a Godly joined Jewish marriage where one spouse becomes a believing Christian within that peaceful marriage yet the other remains unconvinced of Jesus’s Messianic fulfilling.

It’s NOT the exact same situation as a atheist v Christian or an abusing atheist v Christian. Anymore than it is the same as a same-sex State sanction ‘marriage’. Not to mention, Paul’s reason for instructing the Christian spouse to remain married to her Jewish husband is so their children remain clean. My point is, he’s NOT instructing a Christian to remain with an atheist in this passage, obviously. Else, he’s contradicting Jesus and himself.

For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified by his wife. And the unbelieving wife has been sanctified by the brother. Otherwise then your children are unclean, but now they are holy.​

1 Corinthians 7:14 - https://www.biblegateway.com/passage?search=1 Corinthians 7:14&version=DLNT

The above is talking about a God loving Jewish spouse remaining with a Christ loving Christian spouse. Because they were married in accordance with God’s Law! It’s Not addressing a Christian remaining with an atheist.

This is the Theology forum, as I was told. Don't make it personal.

 

[for_his_glory]

One thing I'd like to point out for you, for_his_glory, is that no matter where this discussion ends up, you can rest assured that you have since been forgiven.

If I needed forgiveness from God then I know He has forgiven me all those years ago as I forgave my ex and still pray for him.

 

[artful horizon]

Remember too that there are all manner of abuses besides physical. Strict Bible believer men who enter into a marriage with a Christian wife can, and have been because we had one in our church, under the impression they can treat their wife like a slave. And she has no choice but to stay.
Marriage is suppose to be held in honor among all. Hebrews 13.
We've died to the law that once was and ruled in the OT. We're under a new covenant now. Divorce is possible and forgivable. If a man is beating the snot out of his wife, that's a sign God is telling that wife that abuser isn't the one he chose for her.

Mark 10:9
"What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

Romans 7:4
Likewise, my brothers, you also have died to the law through the body of Christ, so that you may belong to another, to him who has been raised from the dead, in order that we may bear fruit for God.

 

[for_his_glory]

First, I'm sorry to read you've been harmed in a marriage. No woman deserves that and she has every right to save herself from harm.
God knows. And that's the point isn't' it? If you're in a marriage where the both of you are to be coupled as Christians under the free grace eternal salvation promise of God, aren't you to also be blessed in sharing this life with one another?

As I read it, a Christian man that harms his wife is breaking God's laws and disobeying the teachings of the Lord Christ concerning the instruction as to how a marriage is suppose to go.
Colossians 3:19 "Husbands love your wives, and be not bitter against them."

Then there is Ephesians chapter 5, all if it is a great help. These verses come to mind now for this post.
25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

If it was a God centered marriage spousal abuse wouldn't occur. If seeking out counseling with a pastor doesn't make things right, you're perfectly entitled to escape a dire situation as that. Ephesians 5 has a verse that tells us we're suppose to as believers submit to one another in the love of Christ.
A guy that beats his woman isn't submitting to his wife as he would in the love of Christ. That's more like the Devil trying to destroy the image of Christ the woman holds dear. And that's the same as an unbeliever in my book. And you're perfectly entitled, when all measures to heal the wrong in the relationship fail, to divorce an unbeliever. Because God hates that kind of man with a passion also.

And really, I don't think you need to justify your divorcing an abusive husband. Not to anyone. If you weren't a Christian in that old relationship where you were harmed by your man, then when you found Christ you were forgiven every trespass you ever committed. And God doesn't hold anything against you.
If you were a Christian then too, same thing. You're forgiven. It's the abusive man that you freed yourself of that needs to worry about what comes next for him if he doesn't find Christ. And if he says he was a Christian when he was beating you, he lies.
I'm glad you got out. Don't carry that burden worrying if it was OK with God. You know he would rather see you free than beaten by a man because you think you're doing that for Christ's sake.

Christ doesn't tell you to endure that. And you shouldn't ever feel guilty because you freely chose not to. And really, it was your life then. Your pain and suffering. Don't let anyone you ever meet make you feel bad you survived. Sometimes we marry the guy we think is ideal. We overlook all those little red flags that fly when we first meet and get to know him because it is like we're using these scales to weigh what about him is great, and what we think we can live with or overlook.

But those flags can be God trying to get our attention. As in, don't marry this guy! Look! See? That's not good. Don't marry him!

But we tell ourselves we know what we're doing. Because there are things about that man that we want. And that's really selfish when what we're also being shown we don't want, is something we're choosing to push aside to get what we want. But really, when there are things we don't like, at all, those are the signs we don't want him that has those things we don't like. No matter how small, if we think we can put it aside and learn to live with it, that's really naive. Because we're living with the guy that has those qualities no matter what. And sooner or later, year after year, those things we don't like are going to be part of that relationship. Showing up now and then or over and over. And after long enough time, what we don't like will start to overcome what we do.

Don't ever settle!
That's what my mom says. Wait for the man God sends and don't take bargain basement just to be in a relationship.

I'm proud you got out! You're a shining example to any woman who's in the same type spot as you were. That's role model right there! You're great!

Hi artful horizon and welcome to CF,

Thank you for saying all of this and no one can know what abuse is like unless they have been through it themselves. I know God made a way where there was no way for me to escape and today still have favor in His grace.

 

[for_his_glory]

This is the Theology forum and the goal is to determine what God defines and not what we define. There are many sins that we are guilty of that don't comply with the "rules God set down for marriage" and by what you have written, we can divorce for just about anything however, that would seem to fly in the face of Jesus' proclamation. How we justify that is what we need to come to terms with.

What your last statement tells me is that for a believer, he/she has a license to sin. What I'm reading is that you are teaching that it is okay. Get a divorce because even if it is wrong you'll be forgiven. I struggle with this view.

Why can't Deuteronomy 24:1, 2 also apply to the wife? Is it just because God said this for man, or could it be for both?

Deuteronomy 24:1 When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house. 2 And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man's wife.

 

[artful horizon]

Hi artful horizon and welcome to CF,

Thank you for saying all of this and no one can know what abuse is like unless they have been through it themselves. I know God made a way where there was no way for me to escape and today still have favor in His grace.

Hi back and thanks.

And you're welcome. I worked with a woman who was a man's punching bag. Long story short, he died trying to kill the woman that gave her sanctuary after the wife had separation papers delivered to him at work. The widow prays for his soul's peace to this day.
I pray and thank God Samuel Colt was born.

 

[artful horizon]

Why can't Deuteronomy 24:1, 2 also apply to the wife? Is it just because God said this for man, or could it be for both?

Deuteronomy 24:1 When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house. 2 And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man's wife.

The ancient Hebrew culture was patriarchal. Today, yes, it applies to both woman and man I'd say. We're all one in Christ. Sexism is not part of the covenant. Galatians 3:28.

 

[for_his_glory]

God has given explicit instructions on an adulterous divorce that it is allowed and the other can marry again, but yet scripture is silent on physical abuse as it is on many different things, but it doesn't mean God is silent when one goes to Him for answers.

 

[artful horizon]

God has given explicit instructions on an adulterous divorce that it is allowed and the other can marry again, but yet scripture is silent on physical abuse as it is on many different things, but it doesn't mean God is silent when one goes to Him for answers.

And hallelujah for that !

 

[WIP]

Why can't Deuteronomy 24:1, 2 also apply to the wife? Is it just because God said this for man, or could it be for both?

Deuteronomy 24:1 When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house. 2 And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man's wife.

For this question I go back to what Jesus said as recorded in Matthew 5 where it He provided a more detailed explanation of the law. Does the new covenant instituted by Jesus (New Testament) overshadow or supersede the covenant made with Israel (Old Testament)? If not, then why are we not still required to perform the ritual sacrifices?

Jesus said, “Furthermore it has been said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery." Matthew 5:31-32 NKJV

Jesus fulfilled the Old Testament law and gave us a new commandment to love one another. If one fails to keep that commandment, it does not give us the right or authority to ignore the commandment in return, does it? The way I read about letting our light shine, exceeding the righteousness of the Pharisees, reconciling with those who have something against us, turning the other cheek, giving our cloak when others want to take our tunic, and going the extra mile I hear that we are to remain faithful to the law of Jesus to love one another including our enemies even if said enemy happens to be our spouse.

What am I missing?

 

[artful horizon]

Personally, it isn't anyone's business why someone divorces their mate. God is a God of forgiveness. And no one's personal opinion trumps that fact.
Round about saying someone should stay in an abusive marriage because the Bible says the only reason for divorce is adultery, is shameful.

 

[for_his_glory]

For this question I go back to what Jesus said as recorded in Matthew 5 where it He provided a more detailed explanation of the law. Does the new covenant instituted by Jesus (New Testament) overshadow or supersede the covenant made with Israel (Old Testament)? If not, then why are we not still required to perform the ritual sacrifices?

Jesus said, “Furthermore it has been said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery." Matthew 5:31-32 NKJV

Jesus fulfilled the Old Testament law and gave us a new commandment to love one another. If one fails to keep that commandment, it does not give us the right or authority to ignore the commandment in return, does it? The way I read about letting our light shine, exceeding the righteousness of the Pharisees, reconciling with those who have something against us, turning the other cheek, giving our cloak when others want to take our tunic, and going the extra mile I hear that we are to remain faithful to the law of Jesus to love one another including our enemies even if said enemy happens to be our spouse.

What am I missing?

What you are missing is the part of Matthew 5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil. 18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled. 19 Whosoever therefore shall break one of these least commandments, and shall teach men so, he shall be called the least in the kingdom of heaven: but whosoever shall do and teach them, the same shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven. 20 For I say unto you, That except your righteousness shall exceed the righteousness of the scribes and Pharisees, ye shall in no case enter into the kingdom of heaven.

Jesus only fulfilled that of the Temple an sacrifices. It's the greatest commandment of love Matthew 22:35-40 as on this law of love hangs all the other laws including Deuteronomy 24:1,2.. I loved my ex and still have a place in my heart for him as I continue to pray for him, but I just could no longer be safe around him as he broke that vow to me and to God.

 

[chessman]

We are talking about divorce without cause and remarriage not being adultery so let's stick with the OP please instead of condemning me and the choice I made.

I’m not condemning you or the choice you made. I agree you made the Biblical choice (if it wasn’t God who joined you two) and am trying to show you why.

If the Lord did not join you with your first husband (but rather you/he and the State did without God’s sanction) then there’s no reason for you not to unjoin with him. And if he was an unbeliever at heart, I know the Lord did NOT join you with an unbeliever. I don’t know if he was an unbeliever or not. Sounds like it to me, though.

I never said he was an unbeliever as he told me he was before we got married,

Do you believe he really was in Christ, yet hid alcoholism, drug abuse and spousal abuse from you until after your marriage?

it was the drugs and alcohol that he hid from me before we married that caused his abuse against me.

Drug and alcohol abuse causes intoxication, not physical abuse.

I did take it to the Pastor, but my husband refused counseling of any type.

An indication he wasn’t a believer.

Why can't this law apply to a woman also as all the laws are pretty much geared to what the man is to do within all of Gods laws.

“When a man takes a wife and he marries her and then she does not please him, because he found something objectionable and writes her a letter of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her away from his house, and she goes from his house, and she goes out and becomes a wife for another man, and then the second man dislikes her and he writes her a letter of divorce and places it into her hand and sends her from his house, or if the second man dies who took her to himself as a wife, her first husband who sent her away is not allowed to take her again to become a wife to him after she has been defiled, for that is a detestable thing before Yahweh, and so you shall not mislead into sin the land that Yahweh your God is giving to you as an inheritance.​

Deuteronomy 24:1-4 - https://www.biblegateway.com/passage?search=Deuteronomy 24:1-4&version=LEB

The above law is a prohibition concerning what the first husband (a Jew) can/cannot do. Not what the wife of a Jew or atheist can/cannot do. And it is entirely consistent with all other Laws of God concerning His people and their marriage/divorce. Including the fact that a woman is defiled/adulterous by joining herself with anyone other than the man God joins her with either the first or second. Which is why I first asked you if God joined you and your first husband. If He did join you two (which I see as hard to believe simply based on his character and lack of love), then you will not find Biblical support for marriage to another man while that one still lives. Simple as that. On the otherhand, if He did not join you to your first husband, then there is every Biblical reason to have left.

You said yes, He joined you two, but the reason you gave for saying yes is unbiblical. Even by the very passage you tagged to your answer (as if the passage said all marriages are sanctioned by God).

You answered:

God sanctions all marriages according to what marriage is in Genesis 2:18-25 so the answer is yes.

But if you actually go and read the passage, it no more says “God sanctions all marriages according to what marriage is in Gen 2” than it says “God sanctions all divorce”.

Here’s the actual passage:

Then Yahweh God said, “ it is not good that the man is alone. I will make for him a helper as his counterpart.” And out of the ground Yahweh God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the sky, and he brought each to the man to see what he would call it. And whatever the man called that living creature was its name. And the man gave names to every domesticated animal and to the birds of heaven and to all the wild animals. But for the man there was not found a helper as his counterpart. And Yahweh God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man. While he slept, he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh where it had been. And Yahweh God fashioned the rib which he had taken from the man into a woman and brought her to the man. And the man said, “ She is now bone from my bones and flesh from my flesh; she shall be called ‘Woman,’ for she was taken from man.” Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall cling to his wife, and they shall be as one flesh. And the man and his wife, both of them, were naked, and they were not ashamed.​

Genesis 2:18-25 - https://www.biblegateway.com/passage?search=Genesis 2:18-25&version=LEB

Notice:
1. It does NOT say God sanctions all marriages in accordance with this passage. It was not good for THIS man to be alone. Paul, on the otherhand, wasn’t brought a female helper/wife because it was good for him not to have a wife.
2. It is God doing the forming of this man’s helper/counterpart (not the man or the woman doing to forming of the marriage). Wife abusers are NOT couterparts to their wives. Nor are they clinging to the woman by abusing the woman (or by abusing drugs or alcohol).
3. God brought the woman to the man. Which is essentially what I asked you to begin with.

God doesn’t bring Godly women to ‘marry’ unGodly men. Period. In this passage or any other. That’s my point.