Therefore, according to the scripture in Matthew 5 verses 31-32, can I get remarried? The marriage did...break? I guess is the word but I did not end the relationship because of adultery.
Divorce NIV
31 “It has been said, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.’32 But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
Jesus was talking to Jews and was addressing the law of Moses which was shaped by culture. As you should notice, the verse starts with the man giving his wife a certificate of divorce. This also applies if the wife is seeking divorce. We have modern judges that issue certificates of divorce today, even if the husband refuses where in Jewish law, the man was directed to give the certificate.
Second, because you committed adultery and not her, she is free to remarry and is not an adulterous.
You, however are an adulterous because it was you who committed adultery, which gave her grounds for divorce. So in fact, it was you who ended the marriage the moment you betrayed your wife by sleeping with a woman who was not your wife. She was within her right to seek a certificate of divorce from you and you were obligated to give it to her.
I hope you see that Jesus teaching on divorce in Matthew 5 is centered on infidelity within the marriage. The, “You have heard it said”, comes from the teachings of a well known Rabbi named Hillel and his school of thought on Jewish Law. Interesting enough, Jesus sides with Hillel on every teaching except divorce. Hillel basically taught that a man could divorce his wife for any reason, big or small. Don’t like her cooking? Get a divorce.
Jesus is saying that if a man divorces his wife because he doesn’t like the way she makes toast, then he makes her an adulterous if she remarries another after he issues a certificate of divorce.
The point of Jesus teaching is this. Our sin affects those around us and can lead others into sin. Earlier in Jesus sermon, he talks about murder, and adultery and the courts with his focus on reconciliation. You want to avoid the courts and seek reconciliation.
So the way I understand these passages, they really don’t address your question about getting married again.
Your question should now become this. Since I’ve committed adultery, can I be forgiven and can I get married again.
I would answer the first part like this.
A woman caught in Adultery was brought to Jesus. By law, the man was also to be brought but wasn’t. The teachers of the law asked him what should be done with her. Jesus, knowing the law understood that both man and woman were to be brought together in order to be stoned. So by default those who wished to stone her would be in violation of the law themselves if they stoned her without also stoning the man. As a result Jesus says, “those without sin, cast the first stone”.
This is a reminder to all of us who pass unrighteousness judgment or use scripture inappropriately. It’s about trying to persecute others with half truths, or half the facts or scapegoating one guilty party in order to protect the other guilty party.
And so it is Jesus tells the woman caught in her sexual act with another that he does not condemn her, but he says something that should shake each of us to our core.
Jesus says, “Go, and sin no more lest something worse happens to you”.
Can you be forgiven of adultery? Absolutely for there are no sins that cannot be forgiven except blasphemy against the Holy Spirit.
But just because we can be forgiven does not mean we are not accountable for our sin. So we need to heed Jesus word when he says sin no more, or something worse will happen to you,
Yes, you can remarry and Paul encourages marriage if one has sexual desires they cannot hold in, but you have to stop this sinful behavior which Jesus addresses in Matthew 5 where your even looking at other women as sex objects, otherwise your next marriage will be worse than your first and that’s not what God wants for you. He wants good things for you.
So the next question is this. Do you want to stop sinning which only brings about pain, hurt, loss, strife and bad feelings? Or do you want happiness and everlasting joy that comes through obedience to Gods word?
Jesus words are not burdensome. Yes, he says to stop living in sexual sin, but it’s not to keep you away from pleasure. Instead, it’s to show you the way that brings a pleasure that is 10 fold the so called pleasure we think we get from sin.