Well, mondar, . . . I'm not sure what to say to that. I was just following the teachings of my church [Assemblies of God]. Maybe there wasn't any "sovereignty", but I cannot be bendable to a "faith sovereignty". Especially when I see what is supposed to pass for "judgement" and "actual history" in the bible. As I have said before, most of what I read in the Old Testament seems very much like either man based ideologies, or obvious non-literal stories. Perhaps I don't know how to be as you, or Alabaster, or others, . . . maybe I never really did, but I tried the best I knew how.
Unless I'm mistaken, I believe I was seeing that you were one who believes that god created some for destruction. I must be one of them. It would be a surprise, to be honest.
I am not sure what you mean by the term "Faith sovereignty." Also, yes, I am one who believes that some men were made for destruction. Concerning you being one of the pots fit for destruction, no man can know the intent of God. Paul was the chiefest of sinners. The day may come when you recognize that you are in fact evil and repent and turn to Christs substitution as the only payment for your sin. Then you will be a pot fit for glory.
I am sure you tried the "best I know how." I certainly do not doubt your sincerity, or your efforts. What I am questioning was the starting point for your original Christianity that you defected from. There are certain basic doctrines in Christianity. The Assemblies of God are not known for stressing the fundamental starting doctrines of Christianity. I am talking about Original Sin. I have seen no evidence that you ever believed concepts of Original Sin when you were in the Assemblies of God. My guess is that you never even heard of the term while in the AoG. Am I right?
I suspect you never did have a view of man that we are all guilty, even before our birth, we were conceived in sin and iniquity. You have presented yourself as someone that never believed that man was evil from the fall onward. You speak of innocent babies that do not deserve to be judged in the OT genocide narratives as though they have no original sin. You refer to them as though they are not guilty being in Adam. You even spoke of yourself as not really bad enough to be judged by God. It seems to me that you were never taught Original Sin by the AoG, and this lead to your view that God was not doing his job.
That brings up the other part... You seem to have a view of God that he is some sort of benevolent benefactor. He is there to make us happy and successful. So when things did not work out for you, then it was a logical conclusion that there was something wrong with God. God is not God unless he does his job. You did your part, he did not do his part in your theology, therefore God does not exist.
I find your reasoning logical. Certainly if God judges the innocent, certainly if you experienced unbearable pain in your (so called) Christian life, and God is a benevolent benefactor, then something is terribly wrong. I totally agree. Where I disagree is on your original premises. Those original premises came from a flawed Christianity.
The bottom line, is that while you may have been sincerely pious, and sincerely followed what you thought were the teachings of the AoG, your theology was flawed from the start. You had a wrong view of who man. You also had a wrong view of God. With these bad theological views in your AoG experience, it led you to the logical deduction that God does not exist. I agree your logic is correct, but your starting premises are flawed.
If man is conceived in Original Sin as I am suggesting... then we should be able to experience death anytime from conception onward. We are rebels worthy only of death. Babies die. Unborn babies die. Death is universal because we are rebels, born with a nature of evil from the start. This does not mean we are all as sinful as we could be. Some are less sinful, others are more sinful. Very few of us drop to the degradation that murders and rapists do. But we all can harden our hearts to the pain and suffering of others. We can all walk by the beggar on the street and do nothing. It is not only the individual sins of which we are guilty, it is the fact that we are sinners.
It is then logical if we are all sinners and rebels from conception onward, that we can all be punished with death. We all deserve Gods judgment. It is also logical that if God created all things for his glory, and not to make us happy, then God is glorified in punishing rebellion and sin. He is also glorified in revealing his love. His love is revealed because we deserve to die, and Christ died in our place. Of course a starting point for my theology is that God did not create to please us, but to glorify himself. So then, how could God glorify himself best...
if he created and all men are rebels and he judges all men in a universal judgment without any reconciliation or salvation, how is his love revealed? If God creates all men and then saves all men, and reveals his love, and no one is judged, how is his justice and righteous judgment revealed? For God to glorify himself by revealing all his attributes, there must be both love and also wrath. There must be salvation, and judgment. Only in this way can all of God's attributes be revealed.
You recoil from a God that reveals both love, and wrath. I recoil from a God that is only love. The God you had when you were in the AoG seems a God that lack justice. Such a God is not righteous, he winks at rebellion and sin. He looks the other way when evil occurs. I don't see the powerful, sovereignty of such a God that you once had. I certainly agree that the God you had when you were in the AoG, never existed. But this does not mean that the real God does not exist.