So, how do you [personally] feel that you are "in relationship" with god?
PERSONAL and RELATIONSHIP
I am not sure why you ask this question. It is not what I expected. The question itself seems to AoG oriented. To ask an Arminian this question would be interesting. An Arminian might talk of his personal experience. I am a Calvinist. I do not believe that Christ provided a general atonement, He died for me personally. He died for me as an individual. I know that concept is missing in non-Calvinist theology. Most non-Calvinists believe in a more general atonement (for saved and non-saved). How much more personal can things get then that? He died for "ME" as a person. He died for me as an individual. The question concerning a "relationship" is astonishing to me. If Christ died in my place as an individual person, how much more of a relationship can I ask for? I think you question assumes general atonement and a very different God.
SUBJECTIVE EXPERIENCE VS OBJECTIVE REVELATION
I do know what you are talking about. You are talking about some fallible and subjective experience. I do not know God by the subjective. That is AoG theology. I know him by the infallible inerrant inspired word of God. To trade in the infallible innerrant scriptures for a fallible subjective experience is an astonishing bad thought to me. What do I need an experience for when I have the word of God?
By the way, I firmly believe in a closed cannon. Since I believe in a closed cannon of scripture, I do not accept anyone's claim to have had God speak to them they way he spoke to the prophet and apostles.
YOUR WRONG VIEW OF THE CHRISTIAN LIFE AND SUFFERING
I think your question again betrays wrong thinking. I think you have a very distorted view of pain in the life of a Christian.
*** I think of Job's destruction at the beginning of the book. Did God received glory from Job's suffering? I think it is obvious he did. God's word was true, Job did not curse God and die. The question of the book is not that Job did not suffer. He obviously did, but it is that God's word was true.
*** I think if James 1:2-5. Trials are always to be a part of the Christian life. They bring wisdom, they bring virtue into the life of a Christian.
*** I think of 1 Peter 4:12 ff. We suffer, but for the glory of God.
Have I experienced pain? Oh, certainly. Did I tell you my wife and I lost a 7 month old baby girl to heart failure? That was agony. It was our first child. We later had other healthy children that I thank God for. I have had difficulties in the Church. Some men behaved in shocking ways and they did it in the Church. My one daughter went running out of the Church twice in tears over the way I was treated. Men plotted some nasty things in secrete and then later did some nasty things in public, but I dont want to talk about that in a public forum though. Yet, in all this, I do not in the least question the love of God for me. How could I?
I think of Joseph, betrayed by his brothers, sent as a slave to Egypt. What did Joseph say... "you meant it for evil, but God meant it for good to save many souls alive." (speaking of the 7 year famine in Egypt). Did God want those evil things to happen to Joseph? Certainly he did so that he could save lives in Egypt.
Does God want evil to happen? Certainly yes. He shows his glory not only in judging evil, but in bringing good from evil when he chooses.
CONCLUSION
Deavonreye, the question still astonishes me. If a soldier jumps on a grenade and gives his life for his friends, could you ask his friends if they felt they peronallly had a relationship with the soldier who died? I guess you could view Jesus as some suicidal crazy man. I dont see him that way, but as one who loved me sooo dearly. Sure, he will let me go through the fire. I know that. But he is sovereign.
Sorry for the long post, hope the titles help.