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The Derailing Thread

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The comments on this pic on it's original facebook page are cracking me up.
 
A man was taking it easy, lying on the grass and looking up at the clouds. He was identifying shapes when he decided to talk to God. "God", he said, "how long is a million years?"
God answered, "In my frame of reference, it's about a minute."
The man asked, "God, how much is a million dollars?"
God answered, "To Me, it's a penny."
The man then asked, "God, can I have a penny?"
God said, "In a minute."
 
There was a doctor who always walked home from work and always stopped in the same bar and had a hazelnut daiquiri. He was a very punctual man and always came to the bar at the same time, and the bartender made sure to always have his drink ready when he came. One day the bartender discovered that he was out of hazelnut extract and he knew the doctor would be coming in a few minutes. There was no time to go out and buy more, so he used hickory extract instead, hoping that the doctor wouldn't notice the difference. The doctor came in and took one sip of his drink and said to the bartender: "This is good, but you can't fool me. It's not hazelnut daiquiri. What is it?" The bartender answered: "It's hickory daiquiri, doc."

The TOG​
 
There was a doctor who always walked home from work and always stopped in the same bar and had a hazelnut daiquiri. He was a very punctual man and always came to the bar at the same time, and the bartender made sure to always have his drink ready when he came. One day the bartender discovered that he was out of hazelnut extract and he knew the doctor would be coming in a few minutes. There was no time to go out and buy more, so he used hickory extract instead, hoping that the doctor wouldn't notice the difference. The doctor came in and took one sip of his drink and said to the bartender: "This is good, but you can't fool me. It's not hazelnut daiquiri. What is it?" The bartender answered: "It's hickory daiquiri, doc."

The TOG​
:lol
 
About 10 minutes ago I mowed over a Yellow Jacket nest. Got stung about 15 times. My legs feel like they're on fire.

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I hope you are not allergic to bee stings.
if he was he wouldn't be here to post that. anaphylaxis shock is akin to a nerve agent reaction. the epi pin is the same drug used for the treatment but not cure for a sarin gas exposure. all it does is keep the heart rate up.
 
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