Too much estrogen in my house? Their out to get me. Could use some advice.

[PouringRain]

To be honest, I never understand this women stuff.

If it was me, I would have bought the cards in the first place, despite the attitude from my child. I'd have told her that if she doesn't need them after all, then I will save them for the next year (and for another child of mine). I always prepare for buying cards for all the children long before teachers ever send any notes home. My son's pre-k teacher apologized for sending his note home so late and I just shrugged at her and said it was fine, because I already bought them. With my oldest I gave her enough to cover her class and plenty of friends not in her grade-- even though they were not officially exchanging at all.

But valentine's day aside....

 

[jasoncran]

That`s funny, and I`m a woman! Has anyone else heard Dolly Parton`s song "PMS Blues"? If you have not heard it Danus, look it up on youtube and then you`ll get an idea of what the next 10-15 years will be like, but know it is not easy on women either. I grew up in a all female household other than my dad, and he would sometimes complain that he was "surrounded by women". He seemed to yearn for a little testestrone in a son on those days.

well i have seen my wife turn on the ac when its 40 degrees outside!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i am cold natured and have had my feet frozen so i like hell , i mean it hot.

 

[jasoncran]

Danus, we really need to meet up half way, say in Tennessee, and have a beer. That way we could both leave, thinking "Well, at least I don't have it as bad as he does!"

Here's me at the dinner table: "Claire, I'm not trying to oppress you, but would you please pass the mashed potatoes?" And here's her response. She pushes the bowl with her fork about a centimeter from what it was and looks disgusted that I made her do that.

Actually, it's my wife and her (12) who really get into it. Since we're in the Parenting Forum, I'm a little more comfortable in asking something. She hasn't started her monthly *unspeakables* yet. Are the hormones already full throttle before they start, or does it... will it get... can it get worse when they do? I have my son around to off-set the estrogen, but this monster is bigger than the two of us. Of course he takes great delight in pushing her buttons which could be just to look at her. This WAS a girl who got straight A's until the second quarter of her 7th grade. Now she's forgetting homework, skipping extra credit... Where is my little girl?

I say this knowing that we haven't hit the real fun times yet. :bigfrown Soon our 9 year old will be playing that song.

wife's grandaughter hit puberty at age 9.full swing in all.

lovely, i had to listen to that discussion all day long. why do some women think men like to listen to that stuff even though this male knows alot on menopause and so forth(had to take mom and listen to her doc talk about the procedure and what menopause is as she has a partial hysterectomy).

 

[pjt]

. why do some women think men like to listen to that stuff even though this male knows alot on menopause and so forth().

I don`t think women think men "like to listen to that stuff". Women just want men to "get it" when they are going through "that stuff".

 

[l'Chante]

Danus, you know I have a great deal of respect for you, but please…. Don’t be such a man!
<O:p</O:p

Women are emotional beings. Men are practical. If a woman complains about how bad traffic was on the way home, don’t tell her to take another route (practical) – just pull her against your chest and say something mushy like;’ My poor baby. Traffic has a way of draining the life out of you’. (Emotional)<O:p</O:p
<O:p</O:p

Same goes for your daughter. If she throws a hissy fit about Valentine’s cards (VERY emotional), she needs a shoulder, not a practical solution.<O:p</O:p
<O:p</O:p

My heart goes out to you, my friend. I live with one woman, and I have 20 ulcers because my brain is wired like a man’s. I guess most of it comes from working in the corporate environment for almost two decades. And to make it worse; the bulk of my career I was a fraud assessor where emotions is a no-go. So I feel your pain. I am the mother of a very girly daughter, and I often battle to understand why some things are such a big deal to her.<O:p</O:p
<O:p</O:p

Hang in there, Danus. The poodle will run away, your daughters will grow up and leave the house and then you will only have your wife to deal with. <O:p</O:p

 

[jasoncran]

I don`t think women think men "like to listen to that stuff". Women just want men to "get it" when they are going through "that stuff".

not my wife.

 

[pjt]

not my wife.

Do you really think your wife thinks you enjoy listening to this stuff? Unless she has come out and said "my husband just loves to listen to my stories of PMS and menopause", I have a hard time believing she thinks you enjoy listening. I can believe she fills your ear with all this talk but I don`t think it is because she thinks its a topic you particularly enjoy. I think there`s another reason she tells you all this stuff.

 

[jasoncran]

Do you really think your wife thinks you enjoy listening to this stuff? Unless she has come out and said "my husband just loves to listen to my stories of PMS and menopause", I have a hard time believing she thinks you enjoy listening. I can believe she fills your ear with all this talk but I don`t think it is because she thinks its a topic you particularly enjoy. I think there`s another reason she tells you all this stuff.

brags, as her daughter is growing up. that is all.

i know alot on menopause and told her what she would go through as my mom has it.

and my wife is aware of that. still i dont need to know that julie has had her first period and her thoughts on it.

tmi!!!!!!!!!!! stating that she has hit puberty is enough.

 

[Danus]

Danus, we really need to meet up half way, say in Tennessee, and have a beer. That way we could both leave, thinking "Well, at least I don't have it as bad as he does!"

Misery loves company, right? Let me know when you head this way and I'm there.

Danus, you know I have a great deal of respect for you, but please…. Don’t be such a man!
<O:p</O:p

Women are emotional beings. Men are practical. If a woman complains about how bad traffic was on the way home, don’t tell her to take another route (practical) – just pull her against your chest and say something mushy like;’ My poor baby. Traffic has a way of draining the life out of you’. (Emotional)<O:p</O:p
<O:p</O:p

Same goes for your daughter. If she throws a hissy fit about Valentine’s cards (VERY emotional), she needs a shoulder, not a practical solution.<O:p</O:p
<O:p</O:p

My heart goes out to you, my friend. I live with one woman, and I have 20 ulcers because my brain is wired like a man’s. I guess most of it comes from working in the corporate environment for almost two decades. And to make it worse; the bulk of my career I was a fraud assessor where emotions is a no-go. So I feel your pain. I am the mother of a very girly daughter, and I often battle to understand why some things are such a big deal to her.<O:p</O:p
<O:p</O:p

Hang in there, Danus. The poodle will run away, your daughters will grow up and leave the house and then you will only have your wife to deal with. <O:p</O:p

Yep, I try to check my reason at the door, but not my manhood. It's a balancing act for sure.

One thing I've been working on is finding and developing one on one quality time with shared interest. My oldest and I can hang out at any museum all day, or watch the History channel...that type of stuff. My youngest is a little more tomboy. Likes active sports and is begging me to sign her up for "Karate". She took one free class and love it. Ready to drop gymnastics for it. And my wife and I have two days we have dubbed ....thirsty Thursday, where we have a glass of wine and just talk after the girls go to bed, and freaky Friday where....never mind about Freaky Friday, but once a month or so it's a sitter and a nice dinner out.

My biggest juggling act for my kids is to be their father first and their friend second. yes I do want to be their friend as well, but only in that I want them to be able to talk to me about anything.

Up until now it's just been tea parties, bed-time stories and Leggos; now it's starting to change; become more complicated.

I know I can count on my wife. She's been laying the ground work for "the talk". We've been working on each of our speaking parts. You know, about growing up, changes in ones body, social situations, drugs and alcohol...and yes...sex. the thing is this talk will last the next several years and all of it needs to be tempered with Gods word as well.

I want my girls to grow up to be good strong women of God. The type that look to God for their strength and comfort first. If I had a son I'd expect no less, and who knows maybe someday I will have a grandson. ;) But I know this, when the doctor said it's a girl...twice, I was disappointed for less than two seconds. I turned to my wife then and said; Well I guess God knows how much I like a challenge, or it could be that he's granting my wish since befor I was a Christian I always thought I'd live in a house full of women....I guess I should have been more specific.

 

[jasoncran]

Misery loves company, right? Let me know when you head this way and I'm there.




Yep, I try to check my reason at the door, but not my manhood. It's a balancing act for sure.

One thing I've been working on is finding and developing one on one quality time with shared interest. My oldest and I can hang out at any museum all day, or watch the History channel...that type of stuff. My youngest is a little more tomboy. Likes active sports and is begging me to sign her up for "Karate". She took one free class and love it. Ready to drop gymnastics for it. And my wife and I have two days we have dubbed ....thirsty Thursday, where we have a glass of wine and just talk after the girls go to bed, and freaky Friday where....never mind about Freaky Friday, but once a month or so it's a sitter and a nice dinner out.

My biggest juggling act for my kids is to be their father first and their friend second. yes I do want to be their friend as well, but only in that I want them to be able to talk to me about anything.

Up until now it's just been tea parties, bed-time stories and Leggos; now it's starting to change; become more complicated.

I know I can count on my wife. She's been laying the ground work for "the talk". We've been working on each of our speaking parts. You know, about growing up, changes in ones body, social situations, drugs and alcohol...and yes...sex. the thing is this talk will last the next several years and all of it needs to be tempered with Gods word as well.

I want my girls to grow up to be good strong women of God. The type that look to God for their strength and comfort first. If I had a son I'd expect no less, and who knows maybe someday I will have a grandson. ;) But I know this, when the doctor said it's a girl...twice, I was disappointed for less than two seconds. I turned to my wife then and said; Well I guess God knows how much I like a challenge, or it could be that he's granting my wish since befor I was a Christian I always thought I'd live in a house full of women....I guess I should have been more specific.

well after all these yrs my wife still makes her dad blush and soften up when states that she will always be his little girl.

yup she is just like him. same mannerisms.

 

[reba]

:angel3 Some times we just like to watch ya squirm :sing

 

[stovebolts]

To be honest, I never understand this women stuff.

If it was me, I would have bought the cards in the first place, despite the attitude from my child. I'd have told her that if she doesn't need them after all, then I will save them for the next year (and for another child of mine)..

But valentine's day aside....

My wife would have done the same thing when our daughter was still at home, and I can just hear the exchange, "Mom, I don't need them!!!!!!!!! Why do you have to do this!!!!!", Mom replies, "Stop making a scene in the store, I'm getting them anyway, now stop it!", daughter replies "This is sooo stupid, I'm not a little kid anymore! graahhhh! Ummphf! Whatever!!" as her eyes roll, chin up, arms stiff to her side and her feet stomp.

Yeah Danus, it gets worse with girls for sure! Wait till she starts her cycle and her hormones really get crazy as all the women "synchronize".. Wait till the boys start coming around... Yeah.... Anyway, I remember not wanting to tolerate that type of roller coaster behavior with our daughter and my wife said, "It's just her hormones, what if that was me?" and I said, "Then I would have never married you!" And it's the truth! I mean, I can make an exception for some behavior, but I won't let the behavior be justified. My advice? Pick and choose wisely lol!

Looking back, I can tell you that it's a balance between knowing when to trust your wife's instincts and not letting things cross the line as far as keeping your house in order. She's watching you and looking to you as the leader of the house, even if Mom is the key go to person.

It will get worse before it gets better so hold on!

 

[Nikki]

All I can say is "Hang on for the ride"! I have a 13 year old and an almost 12 year old in the house....both girls. It's constant yelling, crying and ATTITUDE. We have good days and bad days. Friday, I ended up having to pull over in a parking lot because my 11 year old was having a meltdown and didn't know why. She has had SUCH an attitude. I try to ignore her, but she drove me to my wits end and I ended up yelling at her saying "Why are you being so hateful?! Did something happen at school? Did someone say something to upset you?.....". She broke down crying and said "I don't know why I feel like this!!!!".

Age 10-12 were my hardest years so far with my now 13 year old. Things are finally settling down with her. I'm sure there is more on the horizon though.

 

[reba]

:toofunny hehe my kids are grown!!! :yes

 

[WIP]

any takes on this?

I have three ladies in my home. One my age, one 7 and one 10, soon to be 11....that's the one I'd like to talk about....I should include a forth. A large standard poodle who I refuse to walk because she has a pink collar/leash and a classic cut.....I and a beta fish are the only men in the house. We'r out numbered.

My 10 1/2 year old is an over achiever; type A personality a bit. She's a straight A, all honors child in a gifted class, of which I'm quite proud of. However, she's also cunning, manipulative, and strong willed. Failure is not an option by her nature.

So, last Monday, as we where sitting down for dinner, I began to make conversation starting with my youngest. I pulled out the old standard; how was school today." My 7 year old began by telling the highlight of her day which centered around exchanging Valentine cards in class. I turned to my oldest and asked how that same event was for her class.

She looked at me seriously, slapped down her fork, pushed away from the table and ran to her room. I looked at my wife in bewilderment as she shrugged her shoulders as if un-phased. My 7 year old seemed to have a rather sinister smile, as if totally amused by the whole thing.

I excused myself from the table to check on my oldest. As I walked away my wife says.."I would not go in there. Let her stew." I ignored that and checked anyway.

Knocking on the door of her room seemed to solicit sounds of whimpers from her buried head as she lay on the bed. ....long story short, she did not bring cards to exchange that day. she said the teacher did not send a note about it.

True to male style I began offering advice to fix the situation. Something like; "well you knew it was Valentines day. Every year your class exchanges cards like every other elementary class. Maybe next time you should be more prepared and have them." .........and now for the response from the mouth of a 10.5 year old girl....."OH SO IT'S MY FAULT! Your saying it's my fault when I was at the store with momma and she did not buy them for me because I did not know if we where exchanging them! ...."Yes I suppose it is"; I said, and walked out wondering what just happened again...?:

Then it hit me.....my youngest brought this subject up for a reason. She was at the store with my wife and oldest when they purchased cards for her class, but not her sisters. I go back to the kitchen to get the rest of the story and it's turns out that my wife and oldest got into a little "Cat-Fight" about this while out shopping last week. These little tiffs have been accruing more frequently lately.

My wife is in full control of our girls, and I think my oldest is starting to push back in resentment. Unlike my youngest who goes more with the flow, my oldest is quite sure she does not need to be told or reminded what to do. She knew about the Valentine cards and did not like being reminded to get them, so she invented a scenario to one-up mom by saying the teacher did not say they would be exchanging them. This brought on a heated exchange.:bicker My wife let her learn her own lesson for being foolish, and my youngest lit the fire at the table for her own amusement knowing it would rip a scab off a wound.

What is wrong with you women? .....Is this a small taste of the drama I'm in for for the next 10-15 years?

Anyone have girls? teens or pre-teens? I try to pick my battles carefully, but I stepped right into this one. This was not like her. She's usually very logical and takes a more analytical approach to things. We've always gotten along due to our natures, but this was odd for me. It's like they all 3 had these alterer motives for acting this way. Any ideas of what's going on with this scenario? I know it's a small issue, but I can't help but think this is the start of something brewing.

Welcome to my world.

Wife, 16-year old daughter, 14-year old daughter, one dog - female of course, one cat also female, four horses; 3 female and one gelded so he doesn't know what he is. Don't fret about your daughter's reaction. Been there, done that. It seems that sometimes I must look at them the wrong way because they run off bawling their eyes out. I just gave up trying to figure it out.

My only recourse is to remember the man's prayer. Maybe your familiar with it.

"My name is [fill in your name]....I am a man....I can change....if I have to....I guess."

"Remember, we're all in this together."

 

[Danus]

My only recourse is to remember the man's prayer. Maybe your familiar with it.

"My name is [fill in your name]....I am a man....I can change....if I have to....I guess."

"Remember, we're all in this together."

LOL... Yes I have not heard of that one, but I practice that as well.

StoveBolts, I see now why you work on that cool car...That's what I need a hobby. I did build a "Man-Cave", or I should say I'm working on it. Phase I was to put it in place and call it 'The Family fun room"...but that was just a way to get the ball rolling :p on the project. Not that the ladies are not allowed in there, just that it will slowly become more of a man cave over time...HA HA HA. And the best part is, I bought it all for Christmas....for the family of course.

Dr. Dobson has a new book called Bringing Up Girls.

I've heard of this book. Thanks for reminding me. I will check it out.

reba, I can tell your liking this whole thing a little too much aren't you?

 

[jasoncran]

perhaps a thread on help i'm a mother with all boys would even this out.

 

[pjt]

perhaps a thread on help i'm a mother with all boys would even this out.

I have one son and I could certainly scream help on that!!! I like the balance of a boy and a girl though. Too many girls may be too emotional, but too many boys would have me pulling my hair out!

 

[l'Chante]

And it’s illegal to kill them…:bigfrown<O:p</O:p

 

[handy]

I've said it over and over: My daughter gets in trouble for the things she says, my son gets in trouble for the things he does.

This is sooo true, my daughter is always copping an attitude, or smarting off, or talking back and my son rarely does.

But, gosh the things my son can think of doing....sheesh! Nothing evil or cruel or anything like that, but if there is a cut in the upholstery on the sofa, or there are spent matches out by the wood shed, or paint all over the bathroom sink, I don't even have to ask who did it. Not to mention that he is just now, when he is almost 11, finally learning to walk in a house instead of barreling through at 50mph and learning to sit down on a chair instead of throwing himself into it.