Bible Study Help! What does this mean....

[GodsGrace]

My wife and I have been together for 52 years. I disagree: there is truly the concept of staying together FOREVER.

Yes!
In your case
...
And mine.


Things are different today.

 

[GodsGrace]

I have divorced parents and it sucks. I grew up with a family and then it suddenly got torn apart even it was a peaceful divorce my Parents still get along and have nothing against each other. Me and my brother are close, he always tell me we have to stick together ad he loves me and so on. We get along well. Hes married.

We had an adopted brother for a time. He flipped out and ran away. He was always getting into trouble and it wouldnt surprise me if hes in prison. He ran away on a family holiday. Said he was going for a walk never come back. All my Parents were doing was trying to help him and give him a good family life. He had major issues.

Be thankful for your brother.
Parents don't understand what they do to their kids.

 

[King Dan of Great the 1st]

Be thankful for your brother.
Parents don't understand what they do to their kids.

As annoying as sometimes he can be i will always love my brother.

 

[PeterJens]

Of course I agree. Women or men are not to be abused.

I don't know about the dating comment....I mean, when are persons supposed to get married if not after dating??

My feeling is that there is no concept of staying together FOREVER.....

kiwidan brought up unfaithfulness...but I know persons that have had an unfaithful spouse and they still stayed together (and some that did not).

I do believe that abuse is more serious.

"I will love you forever" is a romantic exaggeration. Romance and sexual attraction are a biological process, which is linked to a man and wife becoming one. Love in Christ transcends this relationship, and intimacy is about trust, openness and sharing, which is the communion of the saints. You just have to look at what happens when unsaved people get close to each other, often fireworks and hurt arises, followed by revenge and brokenness, followed by real loneliness.

Because communion and being in the Lord transcends sexuality these things will fall away in the Kingdom.
I am shocked by the lack of understanding of what being an individual is, and what sharing one with another is all about. "Who knows and loves the real me" is often the hearts cry. "I am all alone".

But Jesus says no, I am with you, and your brothers and sisters in Christ. Feelings are like the weather, storm clouds, lashing rain, and then bright sunshine and clear wonderful days. We want attention, recognition, contribution and our own space. Once you stop defending hurt, and let the pain flow and be healed, you begin to see the problem of a sinful world always trying to keep that which is not theirs. I know too many people who under their defences have never let themselves feel and express one authentic feeling. If I share with them joy or sadness, it must be destroyed because it must be a joke because everyone is like them.

I went on a marriage introduction course before we were married and the couple kept on bickering over who was more important in their previous jobs, from which both of them had retired, lol. Break this down a little they wanted the other to feel "they" were better ..... But maybe, maybe not. How was this relevant? They were in this emotional merry go round of put downs and proving ones value. Jesus simply says, "I love you." Each is unique and gifted and learning to see the strengths in each through everything makes the whole the body of Christ.

Being a couple is just part of the worlds situation, which is transcended by the eternal.
God bless you

 

[jaybo]

"I will love you forever" is a romantic exaggeration. <snip>

It depends whom you're married to. I have been married for 52 years and still love my wife totally.

 

[GodsGrace]

"I will love you forever" is a romantic exaggeration. Romance and sexual attraction are a biological process, which is linked to a man and wife becoming one. Love in Christ transcends this relationship, and intimacy is about trust, openness and sharing, which is the communion of the saints. You just have to look at what happens when unsaved people get close to each other, often fireworks and hurt arises, followed by revenge and brokenness, followed by real loneliness.

Because communion and being in the Lord transcends sexuality these things will fall away in the Kingdom.
I am shocked by the lack of understanding of what being an individual is, and what sharing one with another is all about. "Who knows and loves the real me" is often the hearts cry. "I am all alone".

But Jesus says no, I am with you, and your brothers and sisters in Christ. Feelings are like the weather, storm clouds, lashing rain, and then bright sunshine and clear wonderful days. We want attention, recognition, contribution and our own space. Once you stop defending hurt, and let the pain flow and be healed, you begin to see the problem of a sinful world always trying to keep that which is not theirs. I know too many people who under their defences have never let themselves feel and express one authentic feeling. If I share with them joy or sadness, it must be destroyed because it must be a joke because everyone is like them.

I went on a marriage introduction course before we were married and the couple kept on bickering over who was more important in their previous jobs, from which both of them had retired, lol. Break this down a little they wanted the other to feel "they" were better ..... But maybe, maybe not. How was this relevant? They were in this emotional merry go round of put downs and proving ones value. Jesus simply says, "I love you." Each is unique and gifted and learning to see the strengths in each through everything makes the whole the body of Christ.

Being a couple is just part of the worlds situation, which is transcended by the eternal.
God bless you

Agreed, as usual.

I will say, however, that love should and can last forever.
It might change over the years,,,but it's still love.
BUT...it requires a serious commitment.

 

[jaybo]

Agreed, as usual.

I will say, however, that love should and can last forever.
It might change over the years,,,but it's still love.
BUT...it requires a serious commitment.

Since I've been married for 52 years i think I can answer from experience...

Love for the right person does indeed last a lifetime -- it actually grows over the years. If the people truly love each other commitment is irrelevant.

 

[GodsGrace]

Since I've been married for 52 years i think I can answer from experience...

Love for the right person does indeed last a lifetime -- it actually grows over the years. If the people truly love each other commitment is irrelevant.

I agree, but what do you understand commitment to be?
I believe it's the mental attitude that whatever happens, it will be worked out.
Commitment means you agree to understand each other and to promise to do your best to get along....
maybe it just means that you're both agreed to the same outcome.

 

[Doug Brents]

In response to these last few comments, let me point out that there are many types of "love", and the longevity of each can be very different, depending on what the "love" is based upon.
Love of a food can be very short lived.
Love of a friend can be temporary, or very long lived.
Love of a spouse depends upon what it is based.
If it is based on sex, or on mutually met needs, then it can be very short lived. The sex will cease to be exciting, and the needs will cease to be met, and the love will fade.
But if the LOVE is based on a commitment to seek the best for the other person, then the love will grow as the commitment grows.

When I married each of my wives, I made it clear to them that our marriage would only end when one of us died. The first died of cancer after 14 very happy years. Our commitment became stronger during the fight with cancer, and so our love became greater during that time (because our focus remained on God). But I have seen others whose love faded during similar battles because their commitment faded. Their focus came off of God (and each other) and was placed on the disease.

The analogy was given to me years ago of a person starting out on a long journey in a nice clean car. As they drove, bugs began to splatter on the windshield of the car. After a while, the driver began to take his focus off of the road through the windshield, and began to focus on the bug splatters. He began to analyze the splatters to see what kind of bug it was, and what it had eaten, and ... he ran off the road and crashed.
Keep your focus on the road, and, when necessary, clean off the windshield. You drive to where your focus is.

 

[GodsGrace]

In response to these last few comments, let me point out that there are many types of "love", and the longevity of each can be very different, depending on what the "love" is based upon.
Love of a food can be very short lived.
Love of a friend can be temporary, or very long lived.
Love of a spouse depends upon what it is based.
If it is based on sex, or on mutually met needs, then it can be very short lived. The sex will cease to be exciting, and the needs will cease to be met, and the love will fade.
But if the LOVE is based on a commitment to seek the best for the other person, then the love will grow as the commitment grows.

When I married each of my wives, I made it clear to them that our marriage would only end when one of us died. The first died of cancer after 14 very happy years. Our commitment became stronger during the fight with cancer, and so our love became greater during that time (because our focus remained on God). But I have seen others whose love faded during similar battles because their commitment faded. Their focus came off of God (and each other) and was placed on the disease.

The analogy was given to me years ago of a person starting out on a long journey in a nice clean car. As they drove, bugs began to splatter on the windshield of the car. After a while, the driver began to take his focus off of the road through the windshield, and began to focus on the bug splatters. He began to analyze the splatters to see what kind of bug it was, and what it had eaten, and ... he ran off the road and crashed.
Keep your focus on the road, and, when necessary, clean off the windshield. You drive to where your focus is.

Agreed on all.
And the analogy is great. Will have to remember it.
I'm always so sorry when hearing that someone has had to face the death of a spouse.
Which we all will have to do one day....