What's new
By:
Filters
Christian Forums

This is a sample guest message. Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

I misled us on the issue of divorce - wrong interpretation

Classik

Classik

Member
I used to think it is only on the issue of adultery that a partner may decide to divorce the spouse and remarry. I got it all wrong!

Once you divorce him or her both of you must remain unmarried for as long as you live. Any man that marries a divorced man or woman commits adultery. A way out is to make peace with the partner, and reconcile with him or her.

A man or woman may only remarry if the partner dies.
 
Many on the forum may agree with you on this, but I don't.
I may be considered a liberal Christian on this forum, or maybe I'm just one of those that see things straight.
If what you say is true, then where do you stand on every other sin.
God says don't lie.
Therefore, according to your reasoning, you must never lie again the rest of your life.
And that goes for every other law God has made.
Who are you to break one law and then tell another they cannot break a law and ever be right with Jesus?
Your reasoning needs to be rereasoned to be reasonable.
 
I am very glad my mother remarried, I got to have an actually good father figure because of it.

Matthew 19:9 - And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except [it be] for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
 
Classik said:
I used to think it is only on the issue of adultery that a partner may decide to divorce the spouse and remarry. I got it all wrong!

Once you divorce him or her both of you must remain unmarried for as long as you live. Any man that marries a divorced man or woman commits adultery. A way out is to make peace with the partner, and reconcile with him or her.

A man or woman may only remarry if the partner dies.
Click to expand...
I can't agree with you on this one, Classik, because of this:

"if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases" (1 Corinthians 7:15 NASB)

What the Christian can not do is do the leaving, except when their spouse has committed adultery. But when your spouse leaves for whatever reason you are no longer bound to them.
 
If this is a sin. Then it is a sin. We shouldn't look for ways to justify it. That said though. Even with it being a sin, God allowed it to take place in the old testiment. There might be a reason for this.

When I think about abuse among spouses, my heart hurts for the marriage and the people. They should remove themselves from eachother and stay far away from eachother.

For the safety of those, who were abused, and for the safety of the children in some of those families, this sin of divorce should be allowed. After all we may never know the full reasons for the divorce or where the marriage might lead if it's forced or preasured to stay together.
 
I would say adultery and emotional abuse go hand in hand, when the guilty party is not sorry and has no intention of changing.

My view is that Jesus' mention of adultery is so that you have an indicator for when problematic behavior goes too far and may be best to separate.
 
Last edited:
Context context context.

These passages have been so hotly contested over the centuries that wars have been fought over them. Including the IRA in the '60's.

The truth is there for those who diligently seek it. But flat readings aren't going to cut it in English.

It says more than you are imagining with original language... Just like always and highly characteristic of Jesus taking neither side in the debate.
 
I've read that Hebrews needed this thing of divorce by the woman settled because of abuse.
Rabbis found it justifiable for a woman to divorce over abuse.
It's somewhere in one of their Talmuds I think.
 
Can I ask a question. It is probably a stupid one but as Forrest said "stupid is as stupid does"

If either spouse divorces the other and remarries what is the act of adultery? Is a one time act or a continual state.

The present tense of the Greek in Matthew 5:32; 19:9; and Luke 16:18 can indicate a continuous state of adultery. At the same time, the present tense in Greek does not always indicate continuous action. Sometimes it simply means that something occurred (Aoristic, Punctiliar, or Gnomic present). For example, the word "divorces" in Matthew 5:32 is present tense, but divorcing is not a continual action. So is remarriage a continual state of adultery or is act of getting remarried itself is adultery.

In the Old Testament Law, the punishment for adultery was death (Leviticus 20:10). At the same time, Deuteronomy 24:1-4 mentions remarriage after a divorce, does not call it adultery, and does not demand the death penalty for the remarried spouse. The Bible explicitly says that God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16), but nowhere explicitly states that God hates remarriage. The Bible nowhere commands a remarried couple to divorce. Deuteronomy 24:1-4 does not describe the remarriage as invalid. Ending a remarriage through divorce would be just as sinful as ending a first marriage through divorce. Both would include the breaking of vows before God, between the couple, and in front of witnesses.

No matter the circumstances, once a couple is remarried, they should strive to live out their married lives in fidelity, in a God-honoring way, with Christ at the center of their marriage. A marriage is a marriage. God does not view the new marriage as invalid or adulterous. A remarried couple should devote themselves to God, and to each other – and honor Him by making their new marriage a lasting and Christ-centered one (Ephesians 5:22-33).
 
Wrg1405 said:
Can I ask a question. It is probably a stupid one but as Forrest said "stupid is as stupid does"

If either spouse divorces the other and remarries what is the act of adultery? Is a one time act or a continual state.

The present tense of the Greek in Matthew 5:32; 19:9; and Luke 16:18 can indicate a continuous state of adultery. At the same time, the present tense in Greek does not always indicate continuous action. Sometimes it simply means that something occurred (Aoristic, Punctiliar, or Gnomic present). For example, the word "divorces" in Matthew 5:32 is present tense, but divorcing is not a continual action. So is remarriage a continual state of adultery or is act of getting remarried itself is adultery.

In the Old Testament Law, the punishment for adultery was death (Leviticus 20:10). At the same time, Deuteronomy 24:1-4 mentions remarriage after a divorce, does not call it adultery, and does not demand the death penalty for the remarried spouse. The Bible explicitly says that God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16), but nowhere explicitly states that God hates remarriage. The Bible nowhere commands a remarried couple to divorce. Deuteronomy 24:1-4 does not describe the remarriage as invalid. Ending a remarriage through divorce would be just as sinful as ending a first marriage through divorce. Both would include the breaking of vows before God, between the couple, and in front of witnesses.

No matter the circumstances, once a couple is remarried, they should strive to live out their married lives in fidelity, in a God-honoring way, with Christ at the center of their marriage. A marriage is a marriage. God does not view the new marriage as invalid or adulterous. A remarried couple should devote themselves to God, and to each other – and honor Him by making their new marriage a lasting and Christ-centered one (Ephesians 5:22-33).
Click to expand...

You don't sound stupid to me.
 
Classik said:
I used to think it is only on the issue of adultery that a partner may decide to divorce the spouse and remarry. I got it all wrong!

Once you divorce him or her both of you must remain unmarried for as long as you live. Any man that marries a divorced man or woman commits adultery. A way out is to make peace with the partner, and reconcile with him or her.

A man or woman may only remarry if the partner dies.
Click to expand...
Wrong God is not cruel. He does not like divorce but if your heart is no longer with this women or man and or one of you have been unfaithful and or one of you are dead you may remarry. God knows that you are still wrapped in the flesh. and that if you are normal from time to time you will burn with passion. And He knows that He made you that way. You don't have to be alone because you just divorced a husband that was beating you. And now you have found a man who treats you like a queen. God does not want you to be unhappy and alone for the rest of your life, now wouldn't that be real cruel, you ain't dead yet, you are just divorced. If you are divorced in your hearts you are divorced.
 
My understanding was that adultery and abandonment were the main, traditional grounds for divorce. Of course, SC didn't even allow full, complete divorce for much of the late 19th and early 20th century. Legal separations and annulments only. How's that for harsh?

My understanding of Jesus' divorce rules was that in the OT it was ridiculously easy to divorce/repudiate a wife. The ancient cultures were male-dominated to the core, so usually only upper class women had any real power. Jesus' divorce rules were meant mostly to protect women (who were often given little, if any, education and had few, if any, legal rights) from being discarded at the whim of the men in their lives. That way women--who even today earn less than men, btw--could at least have some stability, safety, and shelter in life.

Its interesting to note that easy, breezy divorce has made things harder for women and kids, especially in the working and lower classes (although a divorce can plunge formerly middle class women into poverty, too). At this point, the US is apparently what the social scientists call a "stable, high divorce rate society," meaning that the high divorce rate (higher than Canada or many European nations, btw) is an accepted part of the culture and the life cycle. I think the problem there is that accepting marital instability isn't good for individuals and families, and it certainly isn't good for society. Ramble ramble...I guess I"m just saying that restrictions on divorce in the Christian world were meant to protect women and children, because Jesus was a realist working in a male-dominated world. I think that, if you take that into consideration, one can be more accepting and understanding of divorced people.

And now I'm done. :)
 
Like over eating the sin of gluttony divorce carries a ton of consequences God hates divorce... I have to be married for almost 52 years so does everyone else.
 
Classik said:
I used to think it is only on the issue of adultery that a partner may decide to divorce the spouse and remarry. I got it all wrong!

Once you divorce him or her both of you must remain unmarried for as long as you live. Any man that marries a divorced man or woman commits adultery. A way out is to make peace with the partner, and reconcile with him or her.

A man or woman may only remarry if the partner dies.
Click to expand...
does this mean that God can forgive a person for murder if they repent but can not forgive one for divorce if they repent?
I agree it is wrong but they imo should be able to be forgiven???
 
Divorce is horrible, but there are cases where it's genuinely the best option. I know it hurt my mom a lot, but I think we would have been hurt more in the long run if she had stayed with my biological father.
 
Classik said:
I used to think it is only on the issue of adultery that a partner may decide to divorce the spouse and remarry. I got it all wrong!

Once you divorce him or her both of you must remain unmarried for as long as you live. Any man that marries a divorced man or woman commits adultery. A way out is to make peace with the partner, and reconcile with him or her.

A man or woman may only remarry if the partner dies.
Click to expand...
It's a very difficult doctrinal position, but FWIW, to me it does seem the scriptures are inclined to your position.
 
I'm sure what I'm going to say will rub some people the wrong way, but believe me, in the land of easing the burden of my own wrong doings, I am king and the whole royal court.

Divorce is wrong most of the time. It just is. Some have said here that God doesn't want us living in marriages that are painful. I'm not talking about abuse. I'm talking about the day to day pain of discontent. From what I read in the Word, there's no justification for divorce in that place. But there must be two people willing to endure the hard times and look past the other's flaws. It takes two to tango, but also two to reconcile. It takes One to restore. :cross

I've heard enough that I know it's true that divorce is never easy. Easy to sign the papers and have it legally done, but very painful to live in that emotional cloud for the time before and after. That said, if there appeared to be an easier way than to divorce, I'm sure many would have avoided it.

I have zero condemnation for those that have divorced. We believers are covered in His righteousness. But I have a hard time when people play down God's hate for the destruction of what He made. What's past is past, and we move on in forgiveness, but it was wrong most of the time when it was done. It just was.
 
Yeah, to be clear I'm not saying divorce is okay just because you aren't liking how things are going. My mom always instilled in me that marriages are for life and divorce is only a very last resort.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top