Thess,
you are absolutely right. I cannot judge your heart or anyone elses. i won't attempt to try. I was simply stating that the 'church' that you preach has taught, in my opinion, untruth. I don't know the effect that which you follow may or may not have on a relationship with God. That's not of anyones concern but your own and God's.
And Free, let me offer this: Please!!! DON'T be like me. Be a BETTER person than I have been or will be. Run the race as if you mean to WIN it. i have trotted through most of my life as if it didn't matter.
What I offer is that EVERYONE follow Christ through LOVE and not any sort of legalistic ritual that portrays 'system' rather than 'Spirit'.
And I 'think' that I understood CJ's answer better than you may think that I do. You pressured him into an answer and he gave you what you wanted to hear. NO ONE can COMPLETELY understand God or His exact nature. We aren't expected to and NO we don't have to follow a SET of guidelines in order to Love Him and obey His wishes for us.
i did NOT choose God, He chose me. Why I have not a clue, except that He loves US ALL, but that He did is without a doubt in my mind or soul.
I was a completely lost sinner that didn't even realize that this was my condition. Stumbling through this life with NO regard for ANYTHING other than SELF. It's a long story and would probably mean little to you and some you probably would not even believe. But, suffice is to say that much has changed since those times and they were NOT changes brought about by me or MY will. I had little choice in the matter once I asked for the 'truth'. Boy, did He let me have it.
It's harder at times now than it was then. It was MUCH easier to only be concerned with my pleasure and temporary happiness than it is now, having to get use to the changes of all the habits that I had spent over forty years developing. It's a work in progress and ALWAYS will be. But that has NOT stopped my evolving relationship with God through His Son Jesus Christ.
And Free, this was done through God and Christ. I was picked up and placed on my feet by the grace of God through His Son, NO man-made theology or preaching. This may work for some, (I have my doubts), but I believe that it's an INDIVIDUAL thing WITHOUT all the trappings of religion.
God loves us AS INDIVIDUALS. We are independent to choose for a reason. The reason? It's much sweeter to receive love and obedience through Love, than through law. Law didn't work in the past and it doesn't work now. We are now FREE to love God REGARDLESS of the law. And don't think that I am oblivious as to the change that this wrought in the lives of men.
Praise be to God, in ALL His Grace that He has so offered, to those that would choose to be His children, through love.