WHY ISN'T THIS GENERATION GETTING MARRIED?

[Uncle J]

But the numbers clearly indicate that women are getting into marriages and not staying committed.

Can I see those numbers please?

That's the problem. Immature women that want to be teen girls until they hit 40. Then they freak out and finally grow up and want to settle down. But by then a younger guy isn't looking at her like he's looking at some young 20-something. Then she either becomes a lesbian or a cat lady.

And you think that exists exclusively in women? Young men are the mature ones today?

If you don't mind, I'm curious....are you married or in a relationship?

 

[GodsGrace]

I think my generation has confused love with lust. They lust after a person and they think they love them. Then they get married, the intensity dies down, and they miss it. It usually ends in divorce.

Feminism has made the concept of the housewife seem degrading. But in reality, women were objectively happier when being a housewife was more common. I would even ask women today, do you ever see a feminist that looks happy? Me neither. XD

How could a feminist be happy?
Now they have children AND a job!
And a home to keep.

Men might help out at home, but they sure aren't going to manage it.
It's a skill just like everything else.

I've worked and I stayed at home 13 or 15 years to raise my kids (can't remember) and let me tell you,
working is easier! I agree with you that women have been fed a lie.
I think some are beginning to understand, but now it looks like 2 incomes are necessary just to get by in a decent manner.

As to love and lust.
Agreed.

Watch a movie that is not a holiday romantic comedy and what do you see?
Two meet up and how is love shown? They end up in the sack.
In older movies it was done in a more emotional type way.
So yes, we can't distinguish the difference --- I mean we should be able to,
but maybe from watching all those movies, it's become difficult to tell.

Do movies imitate life,
or does life imitate movies.
Start a thread in the Lounge?

 

[GodsGrace]

So the thread has evolved again. It's gone from "those danged kids today", to "those danged women today gettin' all uppity", and now to "it's all part of a global conspiracy by the UN".

Earlier I was asked why I post on a Christian forum. Well, this is part of the reason. Stuff like the above is fascinating, hilarious, and very entertaining.

We here at CFnet are so happy to entertain you J !!


No. Really.


prev. Wondering

 

[GodsGrace]

Because I explained that one primary function of traditional marriage is to bear and raise children, that’s a permanent transition for a woman from maidenhood to motherhood. Biologically, a woman only has limited amount of eggs, it’s her most precious resource, therefore she’s hardwired to seek the most reliable partner who can take care of her during her pregnancy, delivery and babysitting periods when she’s most vulnerable. Usually a man’s mating strategy is quantity over quality, a woman’s is QUALITY over quantity, this is why a woman is hardwired to always seek the best man as husband material in the dating pool even if it may be unrealistic, historically up to 80% women have descendants, but only 40% men have descendants.

Whatever happened to LOVE!!!

I agree with you however.
A man's life remains more the same.

A woman's entire life will be devoted to that child and care of the home.
Whether she works or not.

 

[GodsGrace]

Plus, I mentioned that marriage is not only a union of two individuals, but also two families, and usually it's the woman who's married into the man's family, taking his last name, not the other way around. In the bible it says that at the end times people marry and give in to marriage, that's speaking from the man's and the woman's perspectives, man marries the woman, woman gives in to marriage with the man. If the woman chooses unwisely and gets herself married into a bad family of jacka$$es, she has to deal with not one man, but all of them, and in the process she may become a jacka$$, and that'd ruin her life forever, from which she'll never recover.

Agreed again.

But let me say that the woman tends to stay closer to HER family than the man to his.
There are always exceptions, of course.

 

[GodsGrace]

Pfft ... a large segment of the population is NOT marriageable.

• lack of commitment
• infidelity, extra-marital affairs
• financial problems
• getting married too young
• high conflict/ too much fighting
• communication issues
• substance misuse
• domestic violence
• lack of support from family
• little or no premarital education
• religious differences

Jordan Peterson reviewed studies and found 10% of the population IQ is so low to be an asset as an employee. I'll guess the percentage of people that should never marry to be higher ... let's say 20% ....

We agree. Miracle.

I'd put the percentage even higher.

I know a girl, she's about 40 now.
She grew up (I've known her forever) not wanting to need men.
I asked her once what she would do if she got a flat tire.
I've always had big cars (in the states) and I couldn't even lift one of those tires.
She replied that she'd do it herself.
OK
Now she's 40 and would like to get married, but guess what?
No can do.
Maybe guys get the vibe.

 

[jasonc]

I agree with Riven too.

Marriage is a commitment.
Especially when there's children involved.

If there abuse or something else serious, I'm not saying one has to stay and die in some way.
But most get divorced because they've GROWN APART, or some other such reason.
Sometimes they meet someone else and think it's going to last. Surprise!

It seems we just can't learn from the mistakes of others.
We have to hit our own nose up against the wall.



Prev. Wondering

The commitment part is often not demonstrated and ugly .

 

[Uncle J]

How could a feminist be happy?
Now they have children AND a job!
And a home to keep.

Men might help out at home, but they sure aren't going to manage it.
It's a skill just like everything else.

Huh? I don't know how things are where you live, but in my circles (including my own household) chores are not segregated by sex, and instead everyone chips in as needed.

I'm a husband who does everything from manage the forest on our property to doing laundry to cooking to fixing and maintaining cars. And I'm a really, really good cook too!

My 20-something relatives live similarly, where the only rule with chores is "if you see something that needs done, do it". It doesn't matter one bit if you're the husband, wife, daughter, or son. Just get it done!

The days where cooking, cleaning, and taking care of the kids are exclusively the responsibility of the woman are long gone (except in some fundamentalist religious cultures).

 

[Riven]

Can I see those numbers please?

I gave you the numbers. 70% of women initiate divorce in the United States.

And you think that exists exclusively in women? Young men are the mature ones today?

No, not exclusively. But I think women are the ones that have changed by and large. Guys just want a dependable woman that's not going to cheat on him or divorce him for some stupid reason.

I read an article a while back written by a woman that divorced her husband because she was bored in the marriage. She ended up hooking up and having sex with multiple guys on the same day for a week. She never once mentioned how her ex-husband felt about the situation, which was telling. She then described the experience as intoxicating and encouraged other women to leave their husbands and do the same.

As a guy, I think this story is disgusting. Not just because she slept with multiple dudes on the same day throughout the week, but because of what she did to her husband and her kids. It was literally putting her own lustful desires ahead of everyone else in her life. She was also rewarded with half of his assets and custody of the kids. I bet he'll never marry another woman for as long as he lives.

If you don't mind, I'm curious....are you married or in a relationship?

Not married and I'm single.

 

[Uncle J]

I gave you the numbers. 70% of women initiate divorce in the United States.

Can I see the source for that number please?

No, not exclusively. But I think women are the ones that have changed by and large. Guys just want a dependable woman that's not going to cheat on him or divorce him for some stupid reason.

I'm pretty sure most women want the same thing....a dependable man who's not going to cheat on her or divorce her for some stupid reason.

I read an article a while back written by a woman that divorced her husband because she was bored in the marriage. She ended up hooking up and having sex with multiple guys on the same day for a week. She never once mentioned how her ex-husband felt about the situation, which was telling. She then described the experience as intoxicating and encouraged other women to leave their husbands and do the same.

As a guy, I think this story is disgusting. Not just because she slept with multiple dudes on the same day throughout the week, but because of what she did to her husband and her kids. It was literally putting her own lustful desires ahead of everyone else in her life. She was also rewarded with half of his assets and custody of the kids. I bet he'll never marry another woman for as long as he lives.

Um, that's literally one person, so I'm not sure why you think that's meaningful to anyone other than the people involved. Anyone can pull up individual examples of someone behaving badly. I mean, I could cite Donald Trump bragging about grabbing women by their privates and hitting on women while his third wife was home with their newborn son, or Tiger Woods womanizing all over the world while he was married with little kids.

Not married and I'm single.

Thanks for sharing.

 

[Riven]

Can I see the source for that number please?

3 Reasons Why Women Initiate Divorce More Often Than Men - The Whitley Law Firm, P.C.

Studies have shown that women tend to initiate divorce more often than men. But why? Here are the top 3 reasons why women initiate divorce more often.

www.whitleylawfirmpc.com

I'm pretty sure most women want the same thing....a dependable man who's not going to cheat on her or divorce her for some stupid reason.

Maybe. But the divorce rate seems to indicate otherwise.

Um, that's literally one person, so I'm not sure why you think that's meaningful to anyone other than the people involved. Anyone can pull up individual examples of someone behaving badly. I mean, I could cite Donald Trump bragging about grabbing women by their privates and hitting on women while his third wife was home with their newborn son, or Tiger Woods womanizing all over the world while he was married with little kids.

Yeah, I understand that. But that's not the point I was trying to get across with the story. Instead it was to given an example of why men consider marriage too risky today.

 

[Uncle J]

3 Reasons Why Women Initiate Divorce More Often Than Men - The Whitley Law Firm, P.C.

Studies have shown that women tend to initiate divorce more often than men. But why? Here are the top 3 reasons why women initiate divorce more often.

www.whitleylawfirmpc.com

Thanks for digging that up.

The three main reasons why women are initiating divorces seem legitimate (unreasonable expectation to work, take care of the household, and raise kids with little to no help from the husband; bearing emotional issues alone; and no longer having to tolerate abuse).

As the article hints at, it's largely that men aren't stepping up and helping even though the wife is also working.

Maybe. But the divorce rate seems to indicate otherwise.

Not according to the article. It's more that a lot of men expect the wife to work, clean, cook, raise kids, manage emotional issues, etc., while the husband just works, comes home, and watches sports on the couch.

Yeah, I understand that. But that's not the point I was trying to get across with the story. Instead it was to given an example of why men consider marriage too risky today.

Well, anyone who takes a single case and cites it as justification to not get married at all isn't very bright and probably isn't good husband material anyway.

 

[Riven]

Thanks for digging that up.

The three main reasons why women are initiating divorces seem legitimate (unreasonable expectation to work, take care of the household, and raise kids with little to no help from the husband; bearing emotional issues alone; and no longer having to tolerate abuse).

I've never seen a marriage that was perfectly equal in all aspects. I don't think that's a legitimate reason to divorce someone that you vowed to stay with until death do us part.

Well, anyone who takes a single case and cites it as justification to not get married at all isn't very bright and probably isn't good husband material anyway.

I agree. But stories like that, combined with the divorce rate, makes a guy think twice.

 

[GodsGrace]

Huh? I don't know how things are where you live, but in my circles (including my own household) chores are not segregated by sex, and instead everyone chips in as needed.

I'm a husband who does everything from manage the forest on our property to doing laundry to cooking to fixing and maintaining cars. And I'm a really, really good cook too!

My 20-something relatives live similarly, where the only rule with chores is "if you see something that needs done, do it". It doesn't matter one bit if you're the husband, wife, daughter, or son. Just get it done!

The days where cooking, cleaning, and taking care of the kids are exclusively the responsibility of the woman are long gone (except in some fundamentalist religious cultures).

Hey J.
I'm American.

I come from the same circles.
You must be a lot younger than me....I'm not going to check.
What I mean about managing the home is different than everyone doing something when it needs to be done.
BTW, I like that you cook. The other stuff ain't bad either.
You were a good catch!

I remember when women stayed home - generally speaking.
They took care of all the home things, like you said.
Men took care of the yard, care, fixing stuff, etc.
So the woman was managing the actual home things because she had the time and was available.
Men helped out back then too.
I think you have to go back before the 50's to find men that wouldn't even put away a washed dish.

 

[Uncle J]

I've never seen a marriage that was perfectly equal in all aspects. I don't think that's a legitimate reason to divorce someone that you vowed to stay with until death do us part.

I've never heard of anyone divorcing because everything wasn't perfectly equal.

I agree. But stories like that, combined with the divorce rate, makes a guy think twice.

Welp, everyone is free to make their own choices.

 

[GodsGrace]

Thanks for digging that up.

The three main reasons why women are initiating divorces seem legitimate (unreasonable expectation to work, take care of the household, and raise kids with little to no help from the husband; bearing emotional issues alone; and no longer having to tolerate abuse).

As the article hints at, it's largely that men aren't stepping up and helping even though the wife is also working.



Not according to the article. It's more that a lot of men expect the wife to work, clean, cook, raise kids, manage emotional issues, etc., while the husband just works, comes home, and watches sports on the couch.



Well, anyone who takes a single case and cites it as justification to not get married at all isn't very bright and probably isn't good husband material anyway.

Ooooh.
You're so,
so,
I don't have the word.

Picky?

 

[Uncle J]

Hey J.
I'm American.

Well howdy fellow citizen!

I come from the same circles.
You must be a lot younger than me....I'm not going to check.

I'm 56.

What I mean about managing the home is different than everyone doing something when it needs to be done.
BTW, I like that you cook. The other stuff ain't bad either.
You were a good catch!

Aw, thank you.

I've always enjoyed cooking. I used to cook big meals for my college friends.

I remember when women stayed home - generally speaking.
They took care of all the home things, like you said.
Men took care of the yard, care, fixing stuff, etc.
So the woman was managing the actual home things because she had the time and was available.
Men helped out back then too.
I think you have to go back before the 50's to find men that wouldn't even put away a washed dish.

Yep, that's how it was with my grandparents.

 

[Uncle J]

Ooooh.
You're so,
so,
I don't have the word.

Picky?

Lol....I'm a scientist. It's in the job description

 

[Carry_Your_Name]

Whatever happened to LOVE!!!

Love is THE most abused word in English language, in phrases “love is love” or “love wins”, it’s specifically referring to homosexual attraction and it’s weaponized to justify homosexuality. Historically this was used in a Romeo and Juliet kind of setting, like a couple of different socioeconomic classes, different ethnicities, different political backgrounds, they fall for each other despite social stigma and disapproval from their folks; nowadays this is totally distorted.

 

[GodsGrace]

Lol....I'm a scientist. It's in the job description

What kind?
Barbarian is a scientist too.
I forget which kind.
But it seems to me that you guys know everything,
so maybe the kind doesn't matter...

Wait.
How do I know you're REALLY a scientist?


You said not to trust anybody....