You are going to have to work out the meaning for yourself with Holy Spirit's help. Your understanding of this concept is in error.
Whether we are alive or dead in Christ we are with Him. I am sorry you have such a hard time with this chapter.
Actually, I do believe your interpretation is in error, or rather, those who taught you, their interpretation is in error. Here's why:
1 Thess 4:12
That ye may walk honestly toward them that are without, and that ye may have lack of nothing.
Paul gave the church at Thess 3 things to do to walk honest toward those "without" Christ. Then...the very next verse, he continues speaking of those who are
without, and refers to them as those
asleep. Here it is:
1 Thess 4:13 But I would not have you to be ignorant, brethren,
concerning them which are asleep, that ye sorrow not,
even as others which have no hope.
14For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so them also which
sleep in Jesus will God bring with him.
15For this we say unto you by the word of the Lord, that we which are alive and remain unto the coming of the Lord
shall not prevent them which are asleep.
16For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God: and
the dead in Christ shall rise first:
17Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord.
18Wherefore comfort one another with these words.
If you have eyes to see, you can understand that those who are
without are the same ones who are
asleep or
dead in Christ. As I have made those examples in bold.
Now get this, his letter runs into the next chapter, he is still speaking of when Christ returns. This is what he has to say about those asleep:
1 Thess 5:6 Therefore let us not
sleep, as do others; but let us watch and be sober.
7For
they that sleep sleep in the night; and they that be drunken are drunken in the night.
Then finally this:
1 Thess 5:9 For God hath not appointed us to wrath, but to obtain salvation by our
Lord Jesus Christ,
10Who died for us, that, whether we wake or sleep, we should live together with him.
11Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also ye do.
Wow! Now tell me that those who are asleep are the believers who died believing in JC. Of course, that would directly contradict what Paul wrote stating for us not to sleep, because those who sleep are children of the night. But again, the good news that we should comfort one another is, that whether one is
awake in Christ, or
asleep in Christ, he died for us, that we should live together with him. PTL!!!!!