I understand that this is the most common understanding.
I also believe that when someone believes in Christ they are a new creation, the old is gone the new has come.
But anothen means "above". Just like the Aramaic poetry said in the Syriac manuscripts. (The literal means "head" which is a euphemism for "up".)
This passage from the Gospel of John is not about the regenerative work of the Holy Spirit but a conversation about being "Called" and "Chosen"...and what that really means.
We know from history what being chosen meant for Nicodemus. It wasn't a huge role beyond his ability and supernatural but it still was an important role.
I strive for accuracy in understanding the scriptures given to us. That's all. Not discrediting the notion of becoming a new creation in Christ. In fact I'm very much a proponent of this.