Finally, I see some nitty-gritty from you, something you seemed to avoid before. Ok, suppose I take your word for it. For 20 years I heard meaningless babble from P/Cs (myself included), and everything posted on youtube with someone speaking modern tongues is meaningless babble, as I have described. If anything actually happened like you say, it is buried under a mountain of rubbish, so that no "outsider" believes it's real, and no "outsider" can trust what you say because of P/C hype and counterfeit gifts. Again, I say it looks like cult activity. I have a very hard time believing what you say. I don't call you a liar, just deceived in a culture of deception and hot air claims.
At the very least I would have to see it for myself and examine it carefully, because I can't just blindly believe what you say. The Christianity I know is a religion of historical facts, not one of empty claims. The miracles I see in scripture are obvious, not the secretive and false claims of P/Cs today. I know that God performs miraculous healings today. But the obvious fraud propagated by P/Cs tells me there is an abject ignorance among them.
And besides, I know that I cannot "prove to you" that modern P/Cs speak meaningless babble, because I acknowledge that you have a bias and a vested interest in denying it. However, I'd like to give you a link to a good read, in case you're interested:
This is a 30-year investigation by a linguistic professor at a university. He writes sympathetically about modern tongues, saying it has religious and social value. Yet, he acknowledges that it is not miraculous, nor conveys any meaning, and shows the evidence by which he comes to such conclusion. It is IMO a very objective analysis.
But to be sure, I use that source as merely a confirmation of what I know by the testimony of scripture and the voice of God to me. So, unless you are willing to give me clear evidence (such as a link to a video of yourself or someone else speaking in tongues that you think is a real language, or other such evidence), then perhaps this is where our paths diverge.
If you have been given certain teaching from your mentors in your initial formative years in the faith, or brought up with it through your childhood at church, then I can fully understand where you are coming from.
I agree that there is a lot of rubbish and misconception about the Spiritual gifts, mainly coming from churches like Bethel, Hillsong, and Kenny Copeland brand WOF preaching. We see a lot of the rubbish on Youtube. But these don't reflect the "hard core" of the Pentecostal or Charismatic movements. You will not see the "hard core" on Youtube. Most Pentecostals are decent, godly people who worship God in ways they see in the Bible. Most of my mentors in the Pentecostal church when I was in my 20s, would not have had a bar of the excessive manifestations that we see today.
The church where I fellowshiped between 1970-78 had a faithful, godly leadership that had their backgrounds in Open Brethren, Presbyterian, Lutheran, Baptist, Anglican, as well as traditional Pentecostal. Therefore, their Charismatic experience was not limited to just one church or historical background. They took their experience straight from the pages of the Bible.
So the church in which the events I described was not "cultish" in any way at all. If I had described it in the context of a particular Pentecostal denomination, you might have had a case of "cultish", but not in the church I attended.
I am not inferring that you are a Pharisee by any means, but I will use the example of the Jewish Pharisees who were so entrenched in their view of who the Messiah should be, that when Jesus turned up with His miracles of healing and casting out of demons, even though they witnessed the healing, casting out of demons, and the feeding of the five thousand, they continued to adamantly refuse to believe He was their Messiah and had Him killed.
The positive aspect of the Pharisees, is that they were very strict according to what they saw in the Scriptures, but they believed that they were at the cutting edge of what God was doing in their time, and that they were right and everyone else was wrong. So, even though they saw the miracles and knew that the miracles were real, their strict teaching prevented them from believing that Jesus was who He said He was.
I don't believe that Cessationists are "wicked Pharisees" by any means, but they have been subject to strict teaching that the gifts are not for today, and even in spite of the clear testimonies to the contrary, they, like the Jewish Pharisees, cannot believe that the testimonies truly reflect that the gifts are actually for today.
This is why the early Pentecostals were accused of being demonic, and thrown out of their churches, all because they believed that the gifts, including tongues and prophecy were for today. People usually get thrown out of church because they have brought the church into disrepute because of adultery, fornication, theft, murder or something similar. The early Pentecostals were godly, faithful believers and did none of those things. They got thrown out because they believed that the gift of tongues was for them and they started to put it into practice. That was the result of strict religious teaching that made people adamant that anyone who spoke in tongues was demon possessed and needed to be ejected from their churches.